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Copy edit and slightly tone down front page #1065

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10 changes: 5 additions & 5 deletions _data/new-data/landing/callouts.yml
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Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
Expand Up @@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
}

- title: Expressive
subtitle: Concise code. Powerful results.
subtitle: Concise code, powerful results.
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Stylistically could we leave this subtitle as-is?

text: Swift empowers you to write advanced code in a concise, readable syntax that even a beginner can understand. Swift supports object-oriented, functional, and generic programming patterns that experienced developers are familiar with. Its progressive disclosure allows you to pick up the language quickly, taking advantage of power-user features as you need them.
code: |-
import ArgumentParser
Expand All @@ -39,7 +39,7 @@

- title: Safe
subtitle: Protect memory safety.
text: Swift prioritizes safety and eliminates entire classes of bugs and vulnerabilities by its design. Memory safety and data race safety are core features of the language, making them straightforward to integrate into your codebase. Safety is required at compile time, before your applications are ever run.
text: Swift prioritizes safety and eliminates entire classes of bugs and vulnerabilities by its design. Memory and data race safety are core features of the language, making them straightforward to integrate into your codebase. Safety is required at compile time, before your applications are ever run.
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I recommend we leave this as-is so we maintain "memory safety" as a keyword.

code: |-
let transform = Affine2DTransformBuilder()
.translate([10.0, 20.0].span)
Expand All @@ -54,8 +54,8 @@
let uMagnitude = vec_mag(u.span)

- title: Interoperable
subtitle: Adopt in existing code incrementally.
text: Swift provides unmatched interoperability with its combination of natively understanding C and C++ types without the need for foreign function interfaces, and by providing bridging for bi-directional access. Swift’s interoperability features allow you to incrementally adopt the language into existing codebases without requiring a full code rewrite.
subtitle: Adopt Swift in existing code incrementally.
text: Swift provides unmatched interoperability, with its combination of natively understanding C and C++ types, without the need for foreign function interfaces, and providing bridging for bi-directional access. Swift’s interoperability features allow you to incrementally insert the language into existing codebases without requiring a full code rewrite.
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I recommend we stick with the original version, including "adopt" which aligns with the incremental adoption story of the language.

code: |-
import CxxStdlib

Expand All @@ -71,7 +71,7 @@

- title: Adaptable
subtitle: From microcontrollers to servers.
text: "The only language that can span from embedded and kernel, to server and apps. Swift excels no matter where it’s used: from constrained environments like firmware where every byte counts, to cloud services handling billions of requests a day."
text: "The only language that can span from embedded and kernel to server and apps. Swift excels no matter where it’s used, from constrained environments like firmware, where every byte counts, to cloud services handling billions of requests a day."
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I'd recommend that we remove "only language" here as well. Perhaps changing it to "Swift spans from"?

code: |-
// Configure UART by direct register manipulation
// using Swift MMIO. Enables RX and TX, and sets
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4 changes: 2 additions & 2 deletions index.md
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Expand Up @@ -53,11 +53,11 @@ atom: true
<section id="pillar-1" class="section pillar">
<div class="pillar-wrapper content-wrapper">
<p class="pillar-intro">
Swift is the only language that scales from embedded devices and kernels to apps and cloud infrastructure. It’s simple, and expressive, with incredible performance and safety. And it has unmatched interoperability with C and C++.
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Mainly got rid of "only language" because the first sentence above already establishes that it is a programming language- no need to restate it- but some people also felt "only" was an exaggeration.

Swift scales from embedded devices and kernels to apps and cloud infrastructure. It’s simple and expressive, with incredible performance and safety. And it has unmatched interoperability with C and C++.
</p>
<br />
<p class="pillar-intro">
It's the combination of approachability, speed, safety, and all of<br class="hide-small"/> Swift’s strengths that make it so unique.
It's the combination of approachability, speed, safety, and all of<br class="hide-small"/> Swift’s strengths that make it unique.
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The so is added emphasis, but I can see how saying something is "so unique" may not land. How about we move "unique" earlier in the statement, and change unique to powerful?

I recommend this revision: "It's the unique combination of approachability, speed, safety, and all of Swift's strengths that make it so powerful.

Let me know if you'd like to incorporate the change, otherwise I'm happy to open an additional PR.

</p>
</div>
{% for callout in pillar1_callouts %}
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