deep rework (mostly ci and build system)

[copybara-service]

deep rework (mostly ci and build system)

Fix

• Fix absl::monostate support against C++14
• Fix MSVC C2466 compilation error
  ref: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/cpp/error-messages/compiler-errors-1/compiler-error-c2466
• Fix bazel test -c opt run

CMake

• Bump CMake minimal version to 3.18 to align with pybind11_protobuf and needed to work with pypa/manylinux image (ed need Development.Module option in FindPython3)
• rename status as status_py_extension_stub target to avoid conflict with abseil-cpp when fetched (ed cmake target are NOT scoped)
  
  note: still provide the pybind11_abseil::status target alias.
• Disable C++ gnu extension.
• Rework third party management
  • disable test for dependencies BUT still allow to enable them for pybind11_abseil
  • Bump abseil-cpp from 20230802.0 to 20240722.0
  • Bump pybind11 from master(floating) to v2.13.6
• Fix XCode build using MODULE in pybind_extension
• Fix Python support by not linking against the python library as manylinux images and PEP-513 require
  
  ref: https://peps.python.org/pep-0513/#libpythonx-y-so-1

Bazel

• Update dependencies in MODULE.bazel and WORKSPACE
  • Bump Protobuf to v29.2
• Add a .bazelignore to avoid to parse cmake's usual build directory
• Add a .bazelrc with default options (similar to the one in pybind11_protobuf)

Update CI workflows

• Split CMake and Bazel workflows to get independent badges
• Split MacOS (amd64 and M1) and Windows (amd64) and Linux (amd64) jobs
• import ubuntu-build.yml from pybind11_protobuf

Bazel

• Add C++14, c++17 and c++20 flavours
• Add -c opt and -c dbg variants
• only test against the default python3.11

CMake

• Test Python 3.9, 3.10. 3.11, 3.12
• cmake(linux): Test Unix Makefile and Ninja Build generators
• cmake(macOS): Test XCode and Makefile generators
• cmake(windows): Test MSVC (VC 2022) generator