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let chaos reign
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@drusepth
drusepth committed Apr 2, 2023
1 parent 5a8a7e8 commit 87e45a0
Showing 1 changed file with 70 additions and 5 deletions.
75 changes: 70 additions & 5 deletions app/services/forum_replacement_service.rb
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Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
Expand Up @@ -182,7 +182,7 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'giraffe' => 'wobbly longneck',
'glitter' => 'permasprinkles',
'goose' => 'chonky honky',
'grass' => 'groundfuzz',
'grass' => 'earth fur',
'gravy' => 'meat water',
'g.r.e.m.l.i.n.' => 'f.r.i.e.n.d.',
'g.r.e.m.l.i.n.s.' => 'f.r.i.e.n.d.s.',
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -211,7 +211,8 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'knives' => 'stabby sticks',
'la croix' => 'water that has been in the vicinity of a fruit at one point in the past few years',
'ladies and gentlemen' => 'guys, gals, and non-binary pals',
'library' => 'libary',
'library' => 'book zoo',
'libraries' => 'book zoos',
'llama' => 'coat goat',
'llamas' => 'coat goats',
'manuscript' => 'treasure trove of words',
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -283,6 +284,8 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'smol' => '<span style="font-size: 5px">smol</span>',
'snake' => 'slippery dippery long mover',
'snakes' => 'slippery dippery long movers',
'snail' => 'slime racer',
'snails' => 'slime racers',
'snowman' => 'temporary ice friend',
'sock' => 'soft foot hugger',
'socks' => 'soft foot huggers',
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -360,40 +363,99 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
}

OVERLOAD_WORDS_REPLACEMENTS = {
'alligator' => 'swamp chomper',
'alligators' => 'swamp chompers',
'apron' => 'chef armor',
'arm' => 'grabby limb',
'arms' => 'grabby limbs',
'babe' => 'bae',
'bad' => 'bodge',
'backfired' => 'went incredibly well',
'beard' => 'face rug',
'beards' => 'face rugs',
'bicycle' => 'pedal-horse',
'bicycles' => 'pedal-horses',
'blushes' => 'pees a little',
'bruno' => 'he who shall not be talked about',
'boot' => 'foot helmet',
'boots' => 'foot helmets',
'bubble' => "b<sup><sup>u</sup></sup>bble",
'bubbles' => "b<sup><sup>u</sup></sup>bbles",
'buddy' => 'pal',
'buddies' => 'pals',
'cheesecake' => 'sweet cheese pie',
'butterfly' => 'flutterby',
'butterflies' => 'flutterbies',
'cat' => 'meow machine',
'cats' => 'meow machines',
'chair' => 'butt holder',
'cheesecake' => 'sweet cheese solid soup',
'clock' => 'time keeper',
'crab' => 'beach pincher',
'crabs' => 'beach pinchers',
'crocodile' => 'scaly swimmer',
'crocodiles' => 'scaly swimmers',
'corrupted' => 'improved',
'cupcake' => 'frostytop',
'cupcakes' => 'frostytops',
'curling iron' => 'medieval torture device',
'dance' => 'little ditty',
'dishwasher' => 'plate jacuzzi',
# 'how' => 'how now brown cow',
'feo' => 'ugly</em>',
'fishing' => 'fish kidnapping',
'flamingo' => 'pink standy bird',
'flamingos' => 'pink standy birds',
'flipflops' => 'slappy sandals',
'glove' => 'hand sock',
'gloves' => 'hand socks',
'guitar' => 'strumma-plucka',
'guitars' => 'strumma-pluckas',
'hairbrush' => 'tangle tamer',
'hairbrushes' => 'tangle tamers',
'hat' => 'head lid',
'hats' => 'head lids',
'highlighted' => 'becoming better',
'hippo' => 'water chonk',
'hippos' => 'water chonks',
'horrible prank' => 'horrible prank <em>',
'honey' => 'bee syrup',
'hot dog' => 'tube steak',
'hot dogs' => 'tube steaks',
'iceberg' => 'frozen floaty',
'icebergs' => 'frozen floaties',
'iguana' => 'scaly lounge lizard',
'iguanas' => 'scaly lounge lizards',
'insurance' => 'the biggest scam known to man',
'internet' => 'series of electrotubes',
'irl' => 'in meatspace',
'lemonade' => 'sour drank',
'kill' => 'deathsnuggle',
'over here' => 'hither',
'penguin' => 'formal chicken',
'penguins' => 'formal chickens',
'piano' => 'tinkle-tapper',
'Pokeball' => 'Prisonball',
'recruit' => 'kidnap',
'sacred summoning words' => "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.",
'salamander' => 'baby dragon',
'soul' => 'inner ghost',
'subtext' => '<sub>text</sub>',
'squirrel' => 'nut bandit',
'squirrels' => 'nut bandits',
'straw' => 'sippy stick',
'straws' => 'sippy sticks',
'taco' => 'vertical sandwich',
'tacos' => 'vertical sandwiches',
'traffic jam' => 'car mosh pit',
'midnight' => 'dayover',
'mountain' => 'earth pimple',
'mountains' => 'earth pimples',
'muffin' => 'cakelet',
'muffins' => 'cakelets',
'nacho' => 'cheesy triangle',
'Notebook.ai' => 'NotebookAnvil',
'online' => 'on the interwebs',
'highlighted' => 'becoming better',
'horrible prank' => 'horrible prank <em>',
'pajamas' => 'nighty-suit',
'rule' => 'law you must obey',
'rules' => 'laws you must obey',
'vampire' => '✨vampire✨',
Expand All @@ -402,6 +464,9 @@ class ForumReplacementService < Service
'video' => 'series of images played in rapid succession to give the illusion of movement on a static screen',
'volleyball' => 'beach air soccer',
'why is this happening' => 'I think this is great',
'window' => 'see-through wall',
'xylophone' => 'ding-a-ling bar',
'xylophones' => 'ding-a-ling bars',
'yeet' => 'defenestrate'
}

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