quotes.json

{
    "quotes": [
        ["homeschool your kids while you can :)"],
        ["never correct a teacher."],
        ["as a programmer, you get to objectify stuff for free. it's in the job description."],
        ["do not parody others. someday, you will be the one being parodied."],
        ["things have a way of getting back to you."],
        ["consider not getting born if you don't want to die. the only people who end up dead are the ones who have once come into existence."],
        ["using the autocorrect feature leads in unnecessary, undesired embarrassment."],
        ["do not sow what you cannot reap. for instance, do not be a grim reaper."],
        ["do not listen on port 80. it's reserved for http requests."],
        ["stop reading fanfiction. it's a waste of time."],
        ["never set a pun on sherlock's name as your lockscreen password. you will not like it when you end up like irene adler from the show."],
        ["don't just tell stories. try making some videos too."],
        ["stop getting baited by stupidly dumb video titles."],
        ["be shitty, go ahead in life."],
        ["brush your teeth 5 times a day. 5 is greater than 2."],
        ["talk vague. be relatable."],
        ["stop punning. puns are an insult to mankind."],
        ["do not post original songs or song covers to youtube. the umg and likewise will claim you (and the song!) in no time."],
        ["why pay less when you can pay more?"],
        ["your name may be giovanni giorgio, but people will call you giorgio."],
        ["do not speaketh if it your deepest and darkest desire to not be heardeth."],
        ["2 is the square root of sixteen fourths."],
        ["recordings have the power to raise the dead. likewise, words have the power to hurt."],
        ["keep your friends far by keeping your enemies farther."],
        ["if it has been said, sun tzu must have said it."],
        ["when betrayed, it feels nice to yell 'et tu, brute' (even when you are not familiar with any 'brutus')."],
        ["respect others the way you want to be respected."],
        ["some people are more equal than others."],
        ["when nothing goes according to the plan, everything goes according to the plan."],
        ["break code, not promises."],
        ["when wireless fidelity doesn't do the job, time to bring on wireless infidelity."],
        ["birds are not as free as they are claimed to be. they, however, are extinct-er."],
        ["the way i figure it, everyone gets a headache."],
        ["that's a dead kid."],
        ["touché. cliché."],
        ["no matter what life throws at you, always miss the part where that's your problem."],
        ["with no power comes no responsibility."]
    ]
}