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| 1 | +--- |
| 2 | +title: My first post |
| 3 | +--- |
| 4 | + |
| 5 | +## Why I made this website |
| 6 | + |
| 7 | +It's been a while since I had the time or cared enough to maintain a website for |
| 8 | +myself. As a software engineer, I found that over time I gradually lost interest |
| 9 | +in using a computer outside of work. |
| 10 | + |
| 11 | +That made me sad, because I am truly grateful to be paid to do something that I |
| 12 | +had at one point spent countless hours doing in my free time. After enough time |
| 13 | +had passed, I began to reflect on the situation and try and start to understand |
| 14 | +what had happened. The answer seems simple now - I had stopped learning for the |
| 15 | +sake of learning. |
| 16 | + |
| 17 | +When acquiring new a new skill, almost every day is filled with |
| 18 | +first-encounters. Especially so with programming. The amount of information |
| 19 | +required to begin understanding how software interacts with underlying physical |
| 20 | +hardware is more than enough to keep you busy for multiple lifetimes. But people |
| 21 | +tend to achieve a level of proficiency that allows them to carry out the task at |
| 22 | +hand and then stop learning. |
| 23 | + |
| 24 | +This is understandable - there's only so many hours in the day and there are |
| 25 | +other things in life to care about. It's largely what happened to me. Once I |
| 26 | +started making enough money to pay the bills and support my family, I felt less |
| 27 | +of a need to learn things outside of what it took to accomplish the immediate |
| 28 | +tasks at hand at work. |
| 29 | + |
| 30 | +Writing code for a living was enough to keep me mentally stimulated for more |
| 31 | +than a decade, but once I started taking on more leadership responsibilities it |
| 32 | +didn't take long before I felt my skills begin to atrophy. |
| 33 | + |
| 34 | +This is something I have heard people more senior than myself talk about my |
| 35 | +entire career, but when it started happening to me it felt terrifying. If I lost |
| 36 | +my ability to do the thing that had gotten me to this point in the first place, |
| 37 | +how long until I'm no longer useful to the people I'm entrusted to lead? |
| 38 | + |
| 39 | +This may all sound a bit melodramatic, but it's been gnawing at me for years |
| 40 | +now. I just haven't have the time, energy, or ability to do anything to change |
| 41 | +it. I still love my job - and it was never really an option to go back. I found |
| 42 | +(and still find) it very rewarding to have more of an impact than what I could |
| 43 | +achieve by only writing code. However, somewhat fortuitously, the less time I |
| 44 | +had to do what I truly love at work, the more time I was willing to spend my |
| 45 | +free time searching for ways to reintegrate this passion into my daily life. |
| 46 | + |
| 47 | +## Going forward |
| 48 | + |
| 49 | +I've spent the past several months rediscovering things that I had previously |
| 50 | +lost interest in. Simple things like building computers, installing operating |
| 51 | +systems, configuring my desktop environment, and tweaking my favorite text |
| 52 | +editor. It's been a lot of fun, and going forward I am going to write about them |
| 53 | +here. This will mostly be a form of self-therapy and archiving for the sake of |
| 54 | +posterity, but I'm going to do this publicly in the off chance that someone else |
| 55 | +finds anything I have to say interesting or useful. That's it for now. Thank you |
| 56 | +if you've decided to read this far, and have a nice day. |
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