Build tooling: assert devDependencies and TS project references align

[benjie]

We use yarn workspaces foreach --topological-dev and for that to work we ought to have that the devDependencies and project references align - in both directions. If there's inconsistency an error should be thrown.

1. Any dependency or devDependency (or peerDependency?) that is not present in tsconfig.references should raise an error
2. Any tsconfig.references entry that does not have a matching devDependency/dependency should raise an error

Ideally all errors should be grouped so you can fix everything at once, rather than one at a time.