sarcasm_lines.txt

1_1_R280644F3NWFFN	"Liberals will not buy this book, so their opinion is worthless. Besides most of them cant even read clearly enough to get the joke."
1_5_R4F7L5HVAZZHU	"Don't belive the marketing hype. It's not worth the money. Ever wonder why consumer reports ranks the cleaning ability of the Dyson as average? Because it is. Consumer reports is dead on in their review. It's just not that good of a cleaner. Sure it looks cool and you can park it in the driveway to impress your neighbors... but as far as cleaning my carpets, this vacuum sucks - Not in a good way."
1_6_R3GAKPYR63VAW2	"(it got a 1 star rating) Very nice folds, and creative too that has been touched and folded a dozen times by another person's hands?! (its an origami book) Stick to napkins and towels, or the very basic of toilet paper folds"
1_7_R19YXRYPPILTJ5	Do yourself a favor and avoid this movie like it was guaranteed to infect you with the Bubonic Plague.
1_8_R2NPWZHBGDS9ZB	"His argument based on his failure as a little league baseball coach. Apparently, Klosterman tried to be one of those hyper-intense coaches who tried to work out his own personal daddy issues by trying to turn a team of 9 year olds into a finely tuned baseball machine. Because this didn't work out, and Klosterman might have a problem with women, soccer will never make it big in America. Um, okay. - Klosterman's discussion of math and probability would embarass a stoned 16 year old with it's facile reasoning."
1_9_R3POR9QS2KZGI8	"Panasonic failed to update its marketing details for this model. It was sold with the promise of full compatibility with Viera Cast, with a URL listed. When one goes to the Viera Cast Web site to find out what Viera Cast includes, they see Netflix and Skype, with NO mention that these only work on *certain* models. They may not be making more of these models, but they are still in circulation, being sold new at places like Walmart. Only after a person checks numerous sites for reviews, and googles tech news, does one learn that Netflix and Skype are not included. Deceptive, wrong and infuriating. If our wii from several years ago can integrate Netflix, Panasonic should be able to do the same. They also promised that Viera Cast would be upgradeable, so that buyers of the original models did not have to worry about their model being obsolete. Liars. I will never buy another Panasonic product. There are plenty of other brands that are loyal to their customers."
1_13_R3JBEPN242VR6U	"The story is derivative and cliche beyond belief. There isnt a tense or emotional moment in the entire movie. Its pacing is laborious and predictable. Theres so many laughable things about this movie. (Hair as a phallic interface..are you kidding?) The entire story is Dances With Wolves on an alien planet. (Whos native population speak english...of course) The dialog is right up there with Armageddon and Independence Day, yes...pure genius. Neon plants, hammerhead rhinos and glowing vines do not a movie make....its a dull story, VERY predictable and cringe worthy. I mean..""Get Some"" and ""Take that Bitch""..? Really? I havent laughed so hard since Battlefield Earth."
1_16_R1J4YE0BICPB1C	"So I'm in the bar, having a good time, and I had to pee like a race horse. I go into the bathroom, and doing my business. As I turn to walk out, I sneezed extremely loud. This scared the hell out of the guy washing his hands in front of me. As he went to look at me, he saw my breakthrough wolf shirt, and actually thought he was being attacked by a real wolf! he immediately pulled out a pistol and shot me right in my chest. Me and the guy who shot me now joke about what happened, but I'm pretty sure that the designer of this t-shirt should make it a little less real looking as not to cause hunters or scared bar patrons to whip out rifles or pistols to disable the threat of the attacking wolf."
2_4_R1VBE1OYWCK92V	"""'I was one of the many people who waited in line all night November 18, 2006 for the Nintendo Wii.'"" ""'The Wii has its ups, and its downs, but for me personally, it has been a disappointment. '"""
2_15_R20KOBSDAOQRF4	"If you've seen the trailer, well, then, that's all you need to watch. I know I'll probably get severely ragged on for this review, but the truth is that it's sentimental in a really saccharine and smothering way. If you're not a die-hard romantic movie fan, stay away, or you'll roll your eyes right out of their sockets."
2_6_R34M0E4IZWOBT1	Perhaps it grows in Canada but not Washington State!!
2_18_RIAF18ELJO63S	"I have to say, I was somewhat disappointed to find this pen doesn't actually write on poo. I'll have to find some other way to label my collection! B"
2_11_RTS6EANBJF8O0	"I bought this waffle maker for my lady friend on christmas. I am not a christian, but I like the day off and like to get gifts. Since i bought her the waffle maker she has made me waffles two times. If I never eat waffles again, they would have cost me an average of $38. I would be fine with that, but we all know thats not gonna happen, for I have a good woman and when I say waffles, I get waffles. When I say waffles, she knows I mean Waring Pro WMK300 Belgian Waffles. If only Waring Pro would invent a lasagna maker she wouldn't have that fat lip."
2_20_R2VV8L3EXJ7SSD	Isn't it ironic this author is in this slot after the Overton Window is released. Hmmmmm
2_13_R23CV1SFGOT7Y6	"While the Three Wolf Moon shirt gives the viewer and wearer a sense of community, Howling Wolf T-shirt is for the true loner. It's for the outcasts in our society, it's for every man or woman who ever looked into that vast night sky and realized nobody else was by their side to howl along with them. I shall forevermore walk the night on my own, killing to live. Then, as if in answer, the moon vanished behind a cloud. A soft voice spoke behind me. ""You shall never walk alone."" It all seems a bit like a Green Day lyric when I describe it here, but it was profound beyond mere words. Standing before me was a woman cloaked in translucent white garments that revealed the feminine curves of her ample-bosomed frame. She looked at me with benevolence and love, and suddenly I was aware that my moroseness and ennui had left me at last."
2_14_R6F602HSMD3F9	"Stumbling across this t shirt is like stumbling across the Shroud of Turin; the moment i put it on, i was healed of frequent ataxia, confusion, euphoria, headache, insomnia, vertigo agitation, anxiety, decreased cognition, detached, difficulty concentrating, dysarthria, emotional lability, hallucination..."
3_1_RXPT8W9PZ4U1S	"But no...this is a stupid rubber wallet that looks like TOAST. Oh, How Funny. I go to pull out a credit card and baffle hapless clerks with my novely wallet. Oh! Do not pay me with toast, sir, says the pimply-faced teenager with the cracking voice but Ahah! It is not toast, it is my wallet, you moron! Why they don't offer one with rubber bacon, I'll never understand."
3_4_REBAMEZU2XO9B	"Presidents (and those aspiring) these days cannot live as real people. Like the Gods of Greek legend, they have to live in a mythology of their own creation. A Mythology is usually created to explain what is beyond the comprehension of the normal human or to hide secrets that ""mere mortals"" must be protected from. This book presents the life of Hillary Rodham Clinton as a mythology. If your a candidate for president today, one of the requirements is a book that tells a false inspirational version of your life story. The books spin every event in the person's life to make political points or to shore up what the campaign considers weaknesses. In saying this, I'm singling out this book or Hillary Clinton. She is by far not the only candidate with a book like this out right now. The strange thing about Hillary Clinton is that almost nobody really knows her. This book doesn't help. Bernstein follows the established baby boomer script. She was born in an imaginary world of the 1950s that showed up in educational films and the TV show ""Happy Days"". Like all Boomers, she had a bad father who we are now told was more abusive and cruel than we were told he was before. Her mother was (by the script) a good caring person. Then she discovers the civil rights movement, Martin Luther King Jr and the turmoil of the 1960s. Thats the script, but it never really happened that way. From other books, the more accurate picture is of the churchy ""good girl"" from the midwest whose political beliefs were rooted in an attempt to make the world better by ""good works""."
3_8_R11I6ELOKARQLO	"""pretty sure my IQ dropped trying to read this...,"" ""Save yourself the time and brain cells and pick up a book by someone other than a former MTV reality star."""
3_11_R2NB9ZHBV11DT1	"I suppose my first clue this watch would be a problem is that it came with a manual almost an inch thick. Regardless, I bought this watch primarily for its altimeter. I was attracted to it b/c it uses a solar cell (no battery changes and recalibration every coupel years), and the Atomic time synching. Unfortunately, the altimeter has never worked properly. At about 10,000 feet, it simply bugs out. Casio customer service could not figure it out, and now my watch is gone for the summer, having been returned to Casio for them to try to figure out the problem and repair it."
3_12_R1R9PMEUI1157N	"Where do I start? It used to be that, if you wanted a quality device and didn't mind paying for it, Garmin was the way to go. Now they've clearly caved to the pressure of less expensive options and are putting out sub-par products. To demonstrate their desperation, this device now comes with what Garmin calls ""coupons"" for nearby products. One of these ""coupons"" was for a food chain and said merely ""Come try our many seafood creations."" That's not a ""coupon."" That's an ad. And, I don't want ads popping up while I'm driving. Next, in case you want to use your Garmin GPS to (of all things) TRAVEL, you now need to buy a travel case separately. And, Garmin is more than happy to fill that need for you for and extra $20-30. Bogus"
3_14_R19JOCLZ482JMA	"But like most speaker manufacturers, their subs are horrible for the money. Why? Because they are betting that if you are already buying their speakers, you'll likely want to buy one of their subs too, especially if some slimey and/or ignorant salesperson tells you that you MUST ""match"" the sub and speakers. This PSW10 is a prime example. If you are in a small room and listening to jazz or rock music, it's not too bad. Use it while blasting hip-hop, or watching a special-effects loaded movie like ""Jurassic Park"" or ""Fellowship of the Ring"" and you won't even know it's there---it simply does not go low enough nor loud enough (let's not even talk about if it's clean enough) to do the job. The only worse mass-market subs For this price range you can do much better looking at the 12"" Dayton subwoofer from partsexpress dot com which goes for under a hundred fifty dollars shipped."
3_18_R13D2BDLFVJFBQ	Gentlemen if you are looking to experience the pains of a child's birth from a woman's perspective this is the product for you. Never again.
3_20_R33PA93KTJPCNE	"Hey kids! If you're looking for music that's as satisfying and refreshing as a frozen sugar cube, deeper than a pool that's a foot deep and more exciting than watching paint dry, look no further than Rihanna's album, A Girl Like Me! Listen to her wonderful studio-altered, digitally processed voice! Gasp at the thought-provoking lyrics about needing to be rescued, falling in love and wanting to make love all night long! Marvel at the synths, bleeps and squiggly sound effects that represent real reggae! Forget no-good corporate hacks like Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Dennis Brown, Damian Marley, I Wayne and Sizzla, because Rihanna is the real deal and she wants you, boys! What an astounding, brilliant, masterfully crafted work of perfection! I like music, and I like Rihanna! She's just as brilliant as amazing artists like Britney Spears, Good Charlotte and Simple Plan! They should all tour together, how great would that be? ... I can just imagine these comments from the director at one of her video shoots: ""Hey, Rihanna, what are you doing out here in your underwear? Didn't that outfit that we ordered arrive yet? What's that? The record label wouldn't front the money to cover the cost of the wardrobe? Oh well, I guess we'll shoot anyway. One thing is certain: The teenage boys will love this video."". In summary: A Girl Like Me is only worth checking out if you can't get enough of banal, vacuous pop garbage."
4_2_R1PNVXRNTGHK0A	"I guess we'll have to go out for waffles today. Hey Waring, you might want to re-think your engineering department! It's a waffle maker...not the Space Shuttle...how hard could it be to make it last more than 20 cycles?!"
4_8_R49M9BP0P6Y3U	"Who would've thought that a conglomeration of sheep's hearts, lungs, and liver mixed with oats could taste so good?"
4_11_R1S2WXJO0SIA1K	"Eternity could never be as long as this book, which I endured to its soporific, boring end. I recommend it to hold up the end of a busted sofa!"
4_12_R33HMUU129WA4T	"Timeless works often suffer at the hands of translators. One thinks of the numerous and continuing attempts to render Dante's ""Divina Commedia"" (another early vernacular Italian masterpiece and contemporary to the justifiably obscure Tuscana Latte series) and the struggle with both terza rima and meaning. No so for Tuscan Whole Milk (""La tutta latte""). Few works are better left where they were found, their authors condemned and eventually flogged. This translation of the redredged third valume of the series was committed by Sir John Stilton, the inebriated English librettist for two of the earliest publicly-immolated operas by P.D.Q Bach, themselves loosely based, in part, on the Tuscan series and ""Mechanicae Popularum"": ""Die Fliegende Kuhe"" and ""Das Zaubereuter"", both banned before their opening nights sometime in the early 1760s. That Stilton translated the Tuscan series at all was no mere stroke of misfortune. He was a cousin of Leopold von Emmenthaler, present at the Great Flushing of the Florentine sewers in 1755. As recounted in his memoir ""Besottene Reisen"", returning to his rooms late one night from a drinking binge, Leopold fell into an open ditch which drained into the Arno, but had been clogged. He was saved from drowning in the filth by the floating obstruction created by a massive snarl of wig hair and old used manuscripts -- part of which would later be tragically identified as the only complete copy of ""Tuscan."" Inspired to further drink by the experience, Leopold vowed to champion the mysterious work. He passed it to Stilton in a stupor sometime in 1759. Though arrested, Leopold was never proscuted for the act and he fled to his native Limburg. Rarely misunderstood and best left un-retold, ""Whole Milk"" is the culminating volume of the Tuscan series, but can be read (if necessary) as a standalone work, as both Skim (""Scremato"" or ""Senza Grassi"") and Two-Percent (""Cauto"") are diatribes on celibacy and vegetables respectively. A tale of love, betrayal, and gastrointestinal distress, it is in this infamous portion of the ""work"" that Contessa Bessi meets the cowherd Giovanni de Sargento (the cloaked ""Count Grasso"") and confronts him with the immortal question ""Gotta de latte?"" This dubiuosly romantic passage is considered by some scholars as the inspiration for later poetry (e.g. Wordsworth's ""I Wandered Lonely as a Cow"" (1804); Dickinson's ""#255"", (""""Cow"" is the thing with horns."" (1867)), books (""Care of Dairy Cattle in Central Peru"" (1843); Proust's ""Du Cafe chez Vache"" (1914)), and even movies (among them ""Cud"" (1963) with Paul Newman and Patricia Neal; ""El Cud,"" (1961) with Charlton Heston and Sophia Loren; and ""The Guns of Navorone"" (1961) with Gregorgy Peck and Anthony Quinn). This Stilton translation of Tuscan Whole Milk remains one of the more curdling, if only because he manages to improve the flavor of the work to the point that more innocent readers might be unwittingly exposed to it. It is clear that Stilton spoke little Italian, certainly not the 14th century vernacular of the region, and had no concept of style and structure. It is not certain that he was even completely literate in English. One star for calcium."
4_13_RETS8UQ5PLPFK	"No ordinary truck, this one was Holy White, and the gold Delivery logo sparkled like a thousand suns reflected through shards of the purest ice formed with unadulterated water collected at the beginning of the universe. The driver, clad in a robe colored the softest of white, floated towards me on the cool fog of a hundred fire extinguishers. He smiled benevolently, like a father looking down upon his only child, and handed me a package wrapped in gold beaten thin to the point where you could see through it. I didn't have to sign, because the driver could see within my heart, and knew that I was pure. Upon opening the package, an angelic choir started to sing, and reached a crescendo as I laid this cable on my stereo system. Instantly, my antiquated equipment transformed into components made from the clearest diamond-semiconductor."
5_18_R39SS2BIYR0KNL	"""Basically, if you are planning to do anything other than look at this gamepad, which isn't too pretty anway, don't purchase this"""
5_7_R2FQU7SZAB5R05	"""The Room is the greatest film ever produced."" ""His foresight knows know limits. He will plunder your heart and soul and leave you on the floor, breathless, panting for more of his vivid and penetrating mis-en-scene and astute aural pleasure enchanted with both harmony and discord."""
5_8_R333386DOVZ0TP	"This protective article of clothing is much more than meets the eye. Simple pixles from your computer screen couldn't possibly capture the majestic and unbridled power of this cloak. There are *actual yeti hairs inscribed into each fiber of cotton. This is a definite must buy, considering the raw power of this more-than-celestial article. Purchase this shirt today, and release the debiltating, dragging bonds of society."
5_19_R224EDIPILSZXS	"I am amazed that anyone put up the money to produce this night of self-delusion and self-absorption. This is nothing but karaoke with an orchestra standing in place of the karaoke machine. Ok, Rufus, the bar heard you sing once already. Shut up, sit down, and let someone else get a chance at the microphone. Why do I keep coming to this bar on karaoke night? Boy, do I have too much time on my hands. Hey, there's a cutie over there; I think I'll go over and say, ""hello."" Wait a minute! Who's singing now? Rufus again?! That's it, I'm outa here!"
5_9_RHL5APZ9MEFD2	"If you are looking for a really expensive paperweight, or need to replace the brick in your solid gold commode, the Archos is the device for you. However, if you are looking for any amount of *functionality*, there are volumes of viable choices that cost much less and actually work, such as any Android-based phone. To compare the application library that Archos provides [without using a hack another user has provided to access the Android Library] is like comparing the largest local mega-mall to a ""7-11"" corner store... assuming the corner store went bankrupt several years ago."
5_12_RAXJO3OXS1FP5	"snatches paper like a starving man grabbing bread. Has snarled EVERY sheet of glossy brochure paper I've fed it! I can guarantee you I will never buy another HP product. Never. Ever."
5_13_R2BI33BBIXB14M	"1. The font which is used to write the words ""And Rising"" is an unfortunate choice. The components of the ""d"" in ""and"" are not joined as tightly as they might be, so the ""d"" looks like an ""al."" This changes the name of the album significantly."
5_14_R2BECJPRGIF9M	"200 pages: Nothing has happened. 300 pages: Nothing has happened. 350 pages: Nothing has happened. 400 pages: NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Are you Kidding me? Wait. WAIT. On page 441, something happens. SOMETHING IS HAPPENING. O my God, this is it. Something is really going to happen! I plodded through this padded wasteland and finally something is going to happen! Oh. Wait. It's resolved by page 451."
6_17_R2MH2YDT7NHTA6	An experienced explorer can walk from Philadelphia to NYC in one day in the worst blizzard in history.
6_4_R1ATB6PSQ3HNTF	"""Are White people blind? This movie was awful"" ""It's obvious to me the positive reviews here come from White people fascinated with Asian culture (anything Asian must be exotic and intriguing). Just look at the review entitled ""multicultural Braveheart with Kim Chi."""" ""I don't see any reviews for Braveheart entitled ""multicultural First Emperor with Haggis."""" ""There was no Kim Chi in this movie."""
6_5_RPQ2WIQYVO263	"Wuthering Indeed! The only consolation the non-preteen girl reader can get form this sack of slumber is the final realisation that ""wuthering"" is British slang for ""your eyelids are getting heavy, why don't you just nod off?"""
6_11_R3U5QR00VSNS3Q	"The king, for example, is ""really"" a penis, and therefore the whole game is ""really"" an attempt at castration, because both players attempt to mate the enemy king. Castling is protecting one's penis from the castrating father because it ""hides away"" the game's ""penis"". Riiiiiiiiight. The queen's power, on the other hand, shows the mother's female power, and players who tend to swap queens early are afraid of women. Well, either that, or they are stronger in queenless positions because they are better in positional endgames than in tactical ones. And what about languages where the piece is not called a ""queen"" at all, such as Arabic or Hungarian? No matter--the very fact that it's *powerful* is enough for it to symbolize the power of women. Again, Riiiiiiiiiight. On the other hand a total stranger, like Dr. Fine, from decades and continents away, can effortly tell us the ""deep subconscious reasons"" some master ""really"" made a certain move. How did Fine aquire this magical ability? From St. Freud, of course. For the third time: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I therefore recommend you go right out and get the book!"
6_13_R18VPDXVRWAEBZ	"I don't know how to explain it but the awesome factor of the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt is not in fact multiplied by the Zubaz pants. It's like Cold Fusion - once you bring two multifarious confidence and testosterone factors into play, the inverse coalition of chronological extremes dipolarizes the original fulcrum"
6_14_RFQE3CSNUEN55	"""I could write a guide on how to fly a 747 but when you find out I only actually fly model planes, the perspective changes."""
6_19_R1B4TXROUXHX8J	"his film is a mish-mash of retread effects, no thrills whatsoever and way too many, ""Oh, we just missed her again by seconds, so let's chase her some more!"" Wretched, simply wretched. Species, since it's release, has been the movie by which I judge all others - for awfulness. Whenever I see a truly terrible sci-fi movie, the first thought that comes to mind is, ""Well, it was better than Species."""
7_2_RDV1LIBKTCOPY	"If you enjoy repeated phrases (e.g., ""fountain in a Love-In-Tokyo""), overused metaphors, and capitalized words in the Middle Of Sentences For Effect, then this is the book for you."
7_17_R2DHVN2CI9HV7Y	"But, why should you buy this T&EASGJS2DVD? Simple. Flexibility! The DVD can double as: Constant Feelings of Inescapable sorrow A solitary smile, finally at peace."
7_9_R11OYEZCXQ8KQF	"If The Jackson 5 were little white-hippies, moved from Gary, Indiana down to Tulsa Oklahoma, had at least 2 less talented brothers, a lot less soul; a little less style, exchanged their Afros for some new goldy-locks, and were able to move from 1964 to 1997 then they might be Hanson. I love Hanson!!!"
7_10_R1OBNLR6A0ATR2	"If you're a fan of awkward pauses, weak plotlines, and shirtless guys, this movie is for you."
7_13_R2U4RBEO13YGNU	"Good for basic rythmn, but you'll never hear these in a live setting, unless you mike them. Be like Mick Jaggar and get the really big gord models or better yet, some plastic or rawhide model, or a cylindrical shaker, you can at least hear them in the live setting."
8_2_RLWU0CCMZV2BR	"After reading it in its entirety, I felt the type of satisfaction one feels after completing a particularly odious chore. Removing my copy from my home will be most satisfying. Bottom line: Boooooooooooooring!"
8_4_R2UZGVJMNTO7R0	Oh em gee! This is like the most bomb diggity fantastic album ever. I want to permanently attach my earphones to my ear and blast Adam's music into my brain. He is God. I luv internet privacy. Don't you?
8_8_R1UADG0E4JLKCE	"I mean come on how many times do I have to watch Peyton near death, I seriously could care less how a totally unrealistic character can be thrown into life and death situations just to see her cry 85% of the season. And Dan, jesus can the guy die already, he has been poisened, hit by a car, tortured by a pschotic nanny (lmfao yes that actually did happen), oh and let me not forget he needs a heart transplant. He was close to getting one but nah a dog seemed to come across his new heart and got hungry and ate it, WTF! It's so sad that this show has come to a dog eating a friggen heart to entertain people."
8_9_RP3G854HSUU3U	"THIS IS A FANTASTIC BOOK BUT MY BOOKSHELF IS A BIT SPARSE AS AFTER READING IT I BURNED ALL MY OTHER BOOKS, INCLUDING THE BIBLES AS THEY WERE WRITTEN PARTIALLY IN LOWERCASE LETTERS, OR AS I LIKE TO CALL THEM, THE DEVIL'S RUNES"
8_10_R3KTGJLDTEWIGV	"After keeping Dad in a cardboard cylinder in the garage on the workbench near his tools, where he was most at home for a couple of years, Mom had to move to an assisted living facility. Since she talks to him every day, we had to prepare Dad for the move. He wasn't too happy about it, and he was pretty upset that we spent so much money for his new home, especially since the old one was free from the crematorium. He also wasn't too happy about being stuck in the same room with Mom all the time, because now he'd have to listen to her talking all day. When I told him the urn was pretty soundproof, he said ok. So I poured him in. He just fit, but I spilled a little of him on the workbench.He was ok with that."
8_12_R1FUPYGHYAG76B	"When the Library Journal review says ""Not recommended,"" believe them! I bought this from the $1 bin at a bookstore sale, and paid too much. I was hoping to find a look into some of the inner workings of the FBI and some good stories. Instead, I got a 210 page diatribe on how awful ""that Clinton crowd"" and ""those Clinton people"" were. Aldrich chose the most unprofessional way possible for an ""insider"" to complain about the lack of professionalism of the Clinton administration. He also makes it clear that he knew from day one that they were all going to be bad news because some of the men had earrings and pony tails! And one woman dressed in all black and wore black fingernail polish, so he knew she was ""unsuitable."""
8_13_RM8RP4OZP12D3	"This tank is great for clearing out the undead. Class 3 outbreak? Zombies around every corner? No problem if you have this tank. With its confortable passanger space and great sniper area on the roof, you will be ready to take down a mob of flesh-starved zombies. If you order the gps link-up with the official Badonkadonk Ion Cannon in orbit, you might even clear the infected area all by yourself (service is extra. $19.99 customer service on the Ion Cannon.) Killer sound, too, so that you can rekill to your favorite music. It has a loudspeaker outside so that the enemy can die to the sound of great music (and not each other's moans.) Overall its a very good tank. But the color selection could be better..."
9_1_R2QR9Y1VYBHCI8	"""I bought this because it seemingly had three 20-minute cardio segments and I thought I'd get a great cardio workout. NOT."" ""The viewer is left with a mish-mash of poor technique and a flamboyant instructor running his mouth (and hovering around the ""boys"")."" ""I am used to seeing in-shape and toned bodies on my workout DVD's, providing a VISUAL GOAL for myself. Right?"""
9_2_R30AAO2WZGWXB5	This is is some of the best dick I've ever had...filled me up and is delicious. If you never have had the experience of chowing on some dick-- I highly recommend giving this one a shot.
9_3_R8KJQ0VLJV201	"'if your not to old to lose most of your olfactory senses (smell) then you probably won't be able to stand using this product.' 'would rather lose my hair then smell like a chemical dump.'"
9_19_R29EKCU0TMWWUG	"""If you don't use it, it could last a very long time."""
9_9_RALG7OFCNFFFP	"Seems like a good quality product, except that I CAN'T PUT IT TOGETHER!!!"
9_11_R2NCFG5IIH9B5	Meyers' books are GREAT.......if you're an aspiring writer in need of a primer that gives never-ending examples of what NOT TO DO.
9_20_R4CAICC0NPF5S	"There is something Tragic/Comic about the image of poor folks walking the streets struggling to refute their ""IB's"", diligently doing their Charts at night, trying very hard to convince themselves that bliss is at hand, it's all in ""The Head""."
10_2_R3M2QQALUNT0NK	"""I had no idea it was a Madonna concert until 30 minutes in. I was convinced that I was watching a horrifying zombie movie."" ""Madonna 3/4 naked on stage at this point in her life...NO!"""
10_6_R222OQ5HMG8IW6	Does the publisher seriously think anyone is going to want to buy and read this book on April 27th? By that time John Edwards will have fathered more love children and spent 2400 more dollars on haircuts!
10_7_R1IXYQNNHR3Z0K	t still makes a nice set with the interrogation room
10_8_R1JOCLVNZBZTW0	"This dvd is great if you think that Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky were the highlights of the Clinton administration. There is almost no useful history in this at all. It borders on tabloid journalism under the guise of a respectable documentary."
10_9_R86RAMEBZSB11	i would recomend this book to friends who have insomnia or those who i absolutely despise.
10_11_R1O7RLDLVICKLM	"I am concerned that the stereo in Mom's 86 Yugo can do this CD justice. Maybe if I jerry rig the home speakers and put them in the back seat I can gain some respect. Some Jonas Brothers RESPECT... It is essential that the music be loud for me... It has to penetrate the court mandated padded helmet I must wear when I venture outdoors. It does not look stupid however, I hand drew little skulls all over it to give it the ""cool factor""."
10_18_R30TK050962DZV	That is the tragedy -- that a great nation could be hoodwinked into voting for someone not even qualified for local dog catcher.
11_1_R1R5V05EUS8DQB	"What escapes a lot of enthusiasts for this book is that the author is essentially telling the poor drudges over at Iowa Writer's to forget their MFA's; if you want to be a successful (as opposed to great or even good) writer, get your MBA-marketing."
11_2_R1G60TXW3N8Z6E	"I hope the real Black Keys have filed a cease and desist order against the impostors who created this cruel satire that sounds worse than anything I've heard in an elevator. I bought and then listened to some of this thinking it was to be genuine Black Keys music, and then felt like I had entered some sort of bizarro universe. Actually deserves less than one star."
11_16_R2EZTNKZK7U1KR	"I bought this camera thinking that it would be great. However I was terribly incorrect. Even though this camera has cool features like there touch screen, it takes terrible pictures and some features like the smile recognition doesn't even work. In addition the battery life last about 5 hours and it takes about 4 to charge it. Finally there camera doesn't even come with directions. All it comes with is a quick review that tells the owner almost nothing."
11_6_R29F9YPMNXJFDQ	"Sharp had always been a reliable choice - not this time. When the set arrived, one channel was fuzzy and had no sound. We determined that it was definitely the set, not our cable. Sharp technician was not able to help at all and said I had to return the set to them directly at my expense to have it repaired (2-3 weeks). That made no sense for a brand new product."
11_7_R3A670QYE1WG3T	"my daughter says....NO! When she sees these., My 2 year old has tried all flavors and screams ""No!"" When she sees these.She loves the Plum Tots fruity Fingerfuls though."
12_3_RE2NKEZSVN1DD	"I was going to enter a monastery. I had it all planned out. I was going to take a vow of poverty and devote the rest of my life to prayer, reflection, charity, and serving the Lord. However, as I was about to take the vows I found out that I would NOT be allowed to take my Night Breed Wolf T-Shirt into my new monastic life with me. I guess you could say the Night Breed Wolf T-Shirt changed the course of my life..."
12_4_R1G4RO7T1KXOD2	"It's that damn tuscan milk! I foolishly blamed the milk for my problems. I lost my job, my car broke, and my girlfriend left me. All in one morning! I thought the milk was the cause. Hours later, I arrived at my home. ""Nice"" I thought, as I spotted the 30 day notice. The thought of now getting kicked out my house kind of made me smile. At this point, nothing could get worse, right? It's not like a gang of ninjas is going to come in and kill my family or something."
12_6_R2E7PNY5QAATM6	"I proceeded to open the container then pour it all over myself, in front of my girlfriend. Imagine my embarassment with poweder all over myself. Needless to say the evening did not go as planned. Though I did take a bath, and the water did taste an awfully lot like milk. My fault though, for thinking the company was Nido Powder"
12_7_R1P37H5L0NVOAN	I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I'm still having a major existential hangover.
12_9_R3ADWLQ4AH7GNZ	"It is veritably the inflatable toast for the ages, and the one that you and your family will cherish throughout the years and pass down the generations as a family heirloom. Unlike the non-inflatable toasts this toast will retain its color and consistency for generations. And since it is made out of non-biodegradable materials, it will not be subject to the vicissitudes of time and decay."
12_12_RIXCE8Q7OHC5I	"Need a good laugh? Try page 23 when something finally happens. The bats attack and, despite the military setting up a perimeter (against bats? what? are they going to shoot em?) the bats get through (gasp!) they ""blot out the stars"" (which makes them tough to shoot, even for the military) and lift soldiers right off their feet and then ""bore through him like a hot knife through butter."" (ouch, right? but Bats? Even super nasty bats? How about going inside a tent? That work for ya? Na."
12_18_R2RXXTYPUOXFNJ	"My son enjoyed this pool ONE time and the following night (after struggling several times the previous day just to set it up!) we had a tornado blow through and it shredded (yes, shredded) this pool to bits and pieces"
12_15_R1PJXC9IGJ1SGH	"Buggy disappointment - does not live up to its predecessors, July 12, 2010 By Normally a Lego Game Fan - See all my reviews Fun: This review is from: LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 (Video Game) Long time fan of the Lego Games by Traveler's Tales. I loved Lego Star Wars, Indy was good. Batman was my favorite. I must confess, I never played Lego Indy 2. Though, a disclaimer, I do not like the inspirational subject matter of this one near as much as the others, so it was already at a disadvantage. However, this game is so poor that I felt the need to tell everyone."
13_1_R2IK5C71ND7M5B	"It wasn't until I got to 43654 and then sped on towards 53511 that I realized that if you take every 10th digit, multiply by 12, divide by 150, then using every 5th digit to code with the letters of the Russian alphabet, that you get a backwards version of the Da Vinci Code"
13_18_R1OONW53NLUMHD	"How would I describe the plot in Dead in the Family? Oh, right, there is no plot!"
13_9_RZBWQ106KJWIO	"Unless you truly enjoy the idea of wasting a moment of life, in a sedentary moment. Do not buy this piece of crap. If you enjoy lame porn, you'll love this. It's about as imaginative and innovative as the nut who peed in a jar and put a cross in it. Way to recycle bodily fluids dude. And yep, another dummy bought it."
13_12_R37XGBTD0KEF0P	"""Bleh, to that. I wasnt expecting the reincarnation of Tami Lee Webb. But I sure wasnt expecting camera shots and music that were based in soft core porn."" ""Not one of those girls has ever hit the gym seriously in their life, because their form showed all."" ""This is a novelty video for people who want to see three girls in non-exercise wear (the cleavage shots grew tiresome) doing soft porn type maneuvers all in the name of ""fitness."""
13_14_R3GU5WINHRDTJY	"There is little doubt now that David Husselshaft is a major force in the music business these days. I've already been a fan for many years, but an amazing thing happened recently which I have to share. The doctor said my dog Cherish had only days to live. Desperate for any sign of recovery, I played this CD in the garage for him 24/7, and not only did my dog die, but so did 2 cats and all of my plants. My neighbor came down with a rare form of stomach virus, the one causes massive cramping and explosive diarrhea."
14_1_R1MEA9N3D7643N	"From what I've seen most of them are males and they walk around most of the time with thier shirts off in the woods. ~sings~ FAAAANNNNNSEEEERRVVVICCES! For the ladies. LOL. As an 18 year old woman I won't complain too much about that, but its still strange. I also noticed that they make Jacobs transition into a werewolf sound like hes coming out the closet or something. That shows how bad the dialogue is. I was expecting this to be way better than Twilight because I heard there was way more action. Guess what I bailed out an hour and 30 minutes in. ITs way more dull and boring than Twilight. Theres still no plot, Bella is a b****, and theres still no true conflict. She ends up getting everything she wants at the end of the series anyway including a perfect family with no troubles at 18. OMG shocking isn't it! There were also moment that made me laugh so hard because of how insane they were. One being an example is there is one scene where there at a birthday party and somehow Bella being the clumsy b**** she is cuts herself with wrapping paper (I don't know how thats possible) and one of the vampires go crazy and tries to attack her. Sounds interesting right? Well Edward being the loving boyfriend he is protects her by pushing her into a glass table adding more injury. LMAO! He couldn't just push the attacking vamp away?! He could've just restrain him! But noo! He just pushes her into a case making the situation worse. LOL"
14_2_R23WDTYSUBOS2F	"Well so far I have read 37 pages of this and there is nothing in it that anyone with a grudge against Obama could not have written. The authors even use quotes from their previous masterworks to bolster their views. So far they have not offered one original idea on how to improve economic conditions, but they do want to take this country back. They don't say where to, the good old days of the 60's, 70's, 80's, maybe even the 50's, who knows. Anyway, I will continue to read it, just to see why a person who must get paid plenty of money by the fair and balanced news station feels the need to take 10 dollars from the readers wallets."
14_16_R22AUBQHPWLT9U	"I carry a few alcohol wipes(good for a million things) with me and this lights them on the first try. I keep one in each car, on the boat, and in my briefcase. I may never need it, but if I ever do I don't have to worry about it working. Do yourself a favor and buy one or more of these and never worry about being without a fire."
14_17_R1T1APOY22KKN6	"I enjoy reading V.C. Andrews - for a laugh. Please. All of the Andrews writing is a crock, I mean Dawn and Ruby had exactly the same plot except one was staged in Louisiana and the other was in Virginia. I liked Flowers in the Attic when I was thirteen. Then I discovered real writing talent. This has got to be the worst novel ever written. How many of you would have romantic feelings for your brother after spending three years 24/7 in the same room with him? None? I didn't think so."
14_4_R202ZZKBABCXD7	"This is another of visionary director Uwe Bolls brilliantly forged masterpieces. I believe this film was secretly banned from Oscar consideration due to the fact the committee felt it would be unfair to the other nominees. Uwe Boll deserves an award for his contributions; he is truly a pioneer of German tax loopholes, and will continue to inspire future generations with his brilliance."
14_5_R2334YRUI2S8D1	terrible swill. I can't belive this is from the company that WANTS to sell you their coffee maker. Try the Millstone or if you can find it the Target brands instead.
14_6_R29BIVGI18POGZ	"In the case of B2EB (as I refer to it in my seminal critical study of American musicals and ninja films), those inspirations extend far beyond the original Breakin', a groundbreaking work in its own right, but to the earliest days of ""talkies"" and such musically driven films as The Jazz Singer. Sure, The Jazz Singer had Al Jolsen, but Breakin' 2 has something that its cinematic progenitors could only dream of -- namely, boogaloo."
14_10_RWWJ1CEX4Z1C8	"From the opening pages of Tori Spelling's searing new memoir, ""Mommywood,"" readers will realize that we are in for a rare tale of pathos and depth. In that first scene, Spelling recounts the devastation and fear she experienced when, at a 3-D ultrasound for her first child, she realized that his nose looked too big. Gigantic, even. She could not believe that this horrifying defect, which could well destroy Liam's Hollywood career before it even began, went unnoticed by her husband and doctor."
14_12_RVFCRLQRACWQP	"cheap but useless, June 4, 2010 By G. Venable Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: Amazon Kindle 2 (2nd Generation) USB Car Charger, USB Wall / Travel Charger, Earphones, and Screen Protector / Guard The product arrived but it does not include a connecting cable so while to price was right it has no value without a cable from the devices to the Kindle. Don't waste your money"
14_14_R1OZ5QVQP1RUEE	"""let's say it's some of the records I don't want to let any of my friends know I have"" ""I can't help thinking of pop-grunge fourteen year old girls with pierced noses when I hear ""Black Hole Sun"". Sad."""
14_19_R5T3W7IEROLS6	"This product has a serious design flaw. When I removed this product from its container, it did not stand on its own as I expected. Instead, it spread out onto the ground, then appeared to disappear into it. For the price I paid, I would have expected this product to have a lot more substance. Someone told me that I needed a glass, but this is not listed in the instructions. Also, there are no clear instructions on how to open the container. I tried everything from cotton balls to a can opener, to no avail. Eventually I was able to open it by burning a hole in it with a curling iron. I was afraid to use a knife, since I didn't want to damage the product inside. Clearly, Tuscan needs to re-think this product."
15_1_R9QZGK0OY6I9B	"Eric's leanings are so far to the left that he makes Bill and Hillary Clinton look conservative. Most of Eric's writings are obviously filled with hate for George W. Bush. If the President said the sky was blue, Eric's column in ""The Nation"" or ""Altercation"" on MSNBC.com would say the sky was Red. Eric's rantings are so skewed to the left, that it's easy to see that his book is fired by his hatred for anything conservative and how he twists the facts to justify his point."
15_15_R2P5ZKHROB75H1	"It has been a constant source of frustration for me that my organic ""turkey hat"" generally goes rancid after only a few hours of wear. The fit becomes too loose and the turkey tends to slide down over my face frequently. Not to mention the unpleasant smell as the meat decays. Sound familiar?"
15_17_R6NYH235LG14C	"Is there somebody you really don't like, want to torture perhaps? Give them a copy of the forthcoming DVD"
15_5_R3UPN0Y95FJ8E	"""Even when he's dead the money men march in and make a quick buck - knowing that there are a lot of gulible drones out there - who will buy ANYTHING by Mike J."" ""It is sad that M J has died (and I like his earlier stuff - I really did) but he had gone past his sell by date so long ago."" ""And this film just bunches them up together and throws in a few group hugs to boot."" ""The poor chap is dead - Sad for his family - but come on people let's give it a rest now AND MOVE ON.....like the grown ups we all are."""
15_8_RRSY2AZ0HW0E9	"I think I would rather have my fingernails pulled out forcefully, one at a time, than finish reading this book. I also think my foray into the classics has ended right here. I'm off to read some Robert Parker or Janet Evanovich. Maybe even some Jackie Collins. Anything to cleanse my palate of the terrible aftertaste of Heathcliff and Catherine."
15_9_R2DF1STG5QDJPG	"I got this book as a gift when I was in a particularly bad place. So when I read the one about loving something and setting it free I said ""What the hell, my life sucks right now, lets give it a try"". So I set my dog free and it ran into oncoming traffic. Keep your advice to yourself. RIP Bubbles."
15_10_R2LI7PF47BH0HF	"1)It gives even ""chick lit"" a bad name. 2)But worse still is the fact that the ""heroine"" is intellectually challenged and utterly neurotic. The author presents her story as if this woman is to be admired, while she in fact behaves like a lovesick teenager and a horrible mother from beginning to end. Are we to believe that she just lets her husband walk out of her life and doesn't bother to pursue him for seven years to obtain a divorce and child support. (Isn't this passive child abuse?) 3)Are we then to believe that she lets this scoundrel waltz back into her life and spend copious amounts of time with her fanatically protected ten-year old daughter, when for all she knows the husband has been abusing little girls around the world for years. And, wouldn't said child be at least a tad resentful of the father who abandoned her? On a lesser issue, the heroine is supposed to be a sophisticated world traveller, but she is woefully ignorant about the locales she touts, not to mention little things like TSA rules 4)It scares me to think that there are women who actually can give this drivel five-star ratings."
15_19_RK7WSUOTZJUBT	"My husband and I have carefully selected a lot of ""green"" products for our home and especially for our baby. We were thoroughly disappointed with these wipes. When we opened the package, we couldn't help but cover our noses--they stunk! We thought we would get used to the smell, but it was so vulgar--bordering on worse than the dirty diapers--that we quite using them. Its a shame, because we've liked other Seventh Generation products."
15_13_R3AW5O42YENKL3	"This seemingly underwhelming bit of wire, shrouded in a strange material gave off a strange aura when i stood near. A quick vision from God later and i knew i had to assassinate John Lennon using the mystical powers held within. I was disappointed to see however, after a quick Google search that John Lennon is already dead. His life stolen no doubt, by the previous owner of the very same cable i had come to posses."
16_1_RIU4P618YCDYU	"The only people on earth who are allowed to sparkle are as follows... 1) Drag Queens. A Drag Queen who does not emit sparkly fabulousness from the core of their being is a very sad thing and should be given a hug. 2) David Bowie. Need I say more?"
16_2_R2JJF8EKQUYFVR	"""packed so well it would probably survive a plane crash"" ""Not playable if you can hear. However if deaf it might be quite fun."""
16_3_R1BHO3XTFFAB84	"Good for Writing on Paper - Terrible for Stirring Coffee, Prying things Open In summary, I would happily recommend this pen to anyone who is planning on writing on paper. If you are considering a writing implement for some other surface such as writing on a CD, or other non-porous substances then another pen might be better suited, but if it's just plain old paper then I think you will probably be well served by this particular model."
16_20_RJMTDU2GPCRPQ	"My kidz and I enjoyed this dreadful exercise in predictability and bad acting for all the wrong reasons: We playfully wagered on what actors would say next (and I use that word ""actors"" very loosely). It's full of cliches of all kinds."
16_7_R3A5H7G3IHZVO0	"One reason for poor sound, Samsung says, is internal speakers face backward, so if you have TV up against wall, sound hits wall. If they know this, why don't they mount them forward...? Owners instruction manual is absurdly poor. Written on cheap paper, small draft-quality text, poor descriptions, and ridiculously inferior setup information. Shame on Samsung."
16_12_R1A2M9NNUVM22I	"""Sorry, but every night is not a Pink Floyd laser light show roller disco happy dress-up like Little Riding Hood and do the robot dance freak show in my household."" ""And I don't get the urge to hypnotize my cat, have it fall asleep and then make it walk around upright like a human, as if it's the court jester and I'm the king."" ""If my cat gets cold, it cuddles under the covers; I don't get out its ironic ""mouse"" outfit. If it has to go poopy, we don't share the same toilet. There are no catnip containers shaped like squirrels or parakeets. Those things are utterly worthless. It's like giving a nursing home resident a permanently sealed bag of soup."""
16_19_R2D617C2JMSMKJ	"oh, and if you happen to like other things too, like, say, a good, interesting, or mildly understandable plot, then youre out of luck"
16_13_RGLC9TW764X01	"Before I got this shirt I was just your average 400 pound Wal-Mart door greeter. After wearing this baby underneath my blue vest one fine day, I could see the new appreciation and even, in some cases, envy, as my customers passed through and noted the amazing sexual essence this shirt radiated."
16_15_R153SCKXPQPAR5	"Funny how the Clintons have survived all of these supposed 'true' stories about their crimes. Maybe because they didn't actually COMMIT any of them. This book is absolute garbage. Using conjecture and supposition, the author comes up with 'evidence' as to how the Clintons were involved and why Ron Brown was murdered. Just another right-wing attempt to discredit the Clintons. It didn't work when President Clinton was in office and it hasn't worked since. If you really want to write a book about illegal activities, why not go after Bush? His whole presidency was one illegal activity after another starting with his illegal election. Wish there was a ZERO stars option on Amazon, because this piece of garbage doesn't even deserve the one star it got. Shame on you for sullying the memory of Ron Brown. A fine man who worked hard to make his country a better place."
16_16_R1G3PE5U7IONXK	"""The movie was a little boring and looked really fake. You could tell it wasn't real and was just a bunch of silly-puppets"" ""In conclusion I would NOT reccomend this movie due to my awful experience with this bratty kid. Also, as I mentioned earlier it looks kind of fake. """
17_1_R2NR6PNN0JXMRI	"Ben Franklin once said ""Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"". The product produced by my Mr Beer was proof that the devil exists and he likes to play jokes on us."
17_16_R2PAF0GF1PT0RH	"If you are in Mensa, this book belongs on your shelf."
17_5_RFH3UT9TNAAAB	"Levin says this about the Liberal: He rejects the relativism that blurs the lines between good or bad, right or wrong, just and unjust, and means and ends. (3). Comment: I must have missed your offer of proof of this assertion. ""As the word `liberal' is, in its classical meaning, the opposite of authoritarianism, it is more accurate, therefore, to characterize the Modern Liberal as a Statist."" (4) Comment: In other words, invent a straw man term with no premise or foundation offered, in order to constantly knock down this straw man...the Statist. It would be like me declaring this of conservatives: ""Let's call them Clubists, as in those who'd aspire to be approved by or could afford join a country club, where the only minorities are servers, or as in the case of Limbaugh, who uses words like clubs to make his point."" According to Levin, the Liberal is ""angry, resentful, petulant and jealous. He is incapable of honest self-assessment and rejects the honest assessment of others... Therefore, he must destroy society, piece by piece."" (15-16). Comment: Again, I missed his proofs of this broad-brush description. It would be like a Liberal asserting, ""The Clubist is greedy, imperious, humorless, irresponsible and generally looks like the love child of Dick Morris and Ann Coulter."" No back-up data necessary. ""Hollywood...uses entertainment to besmirch civil society."" (19-20). Comment: Again, broad strokes, no back up. But my favorite, in light of BP and Halliburton's criminal drilling on the cheap that threatens to destroy the Gulf of Mexico, ""The Statist's heavy hand has gripped the oil industry for more than one hundred years. The oil industry...has become, in essence, a quasi-state-run enterprise, because it cannot drill...without receiving government permission, complying with government regulations... When the Statist prevents oil companies from drilling news wells in...most coastal areas, he is driving down the supply..."" (74) Comment: don't I wish... ""By 2008, GM and Chrysler were essentially broke, and Ford was on the brink."" (80). Comment: Ford never claimed to be on the brink of anything, but Levin's logic is. P.S. Levin doesn't like tenure, but likes tradition, one of which is tenure. Which is it?"
17_6_RGHFIPPFW7ALX	"If you want to bore yourself, and spend the 7 bucks it takes to read to the witless dialogue and waste the rest of your time trying to grasp the very underdevloped world of Hamilton's,"
17_18_R3W387NTMCSMPP	"However, one little thing you should be aware of before you get this book. You have to REMOVE the hair from the dog BEFORE you knit. I really wish I had been told this before I started. Sure Scout makes a great hat, but it's really embarrassing if you are walking down the street, wearing your admittedly very stylish chapeau, and the hat pees down the back of your neck. Believe me, after the sixth or seventh time that happened I realized there was something wrong. Fortunately Scout is getting old and struggles less and less each time I wear him and has learned to thrash his legs when he needs to be let down to ""do his business"" (although that causes problems, too, I'll have to get a book about how to knit bandages from mouse hair next). However, I've been thinking about a pair of socks and I'm pretty sure the knitting techniques will be similar, but my cats Snookums and Woogy seem to get very edgy whenever I pick up my razor."
17_8_R35P87G7S1YZYP	"The constant blinking lights hurt my eyes and were not relaxing. It was not stress relieving; it created more stress!"
17_10_R2FES3I67FK8Q7	"I had recently purchased a used car from my friend Dr. Emmitt Brown, and was told I needed to purchase nuclear material to enjoy the full benefits of the car. I saw this item on Amazon and thought I was in luck. Unfortunately, the use of uranium in my Delorean had some unforseen consequences. As I entered a California freeway, I knew I had to speed up to 90 MPH, or I would be run off the road. As I approached this speed, many weird things started to happen, and long story short, I was somehow transported to the year 1996. Knowing the past sports outcomes of the last decade, I went to Las Vegas and correctly predicted the winner of every World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals. Now, I am a billionaire and married to my childhood sweetheart, after I killed her husband. Thank you uranium ore, for making my dreams come true."
18_2_R1ENBGAF006HGL	"Before I bought the CASIO CA53W-1 Watch with Calculator I was a nothing, I was no one, no one on my campus recognized me"
18_3_R1KR0XX13PKBEY	"Great, buy a more expensive piece of hardware so you can download games that are locked to it. This is a great step in the direction of renting all your games. No thanks."
18_18_RTDQDPC5X2LW4	"Good luck getting this on once you've filled it, and good luck filling it once you squeeze it on."
18_19_RTJ6PHNHIFR09	"Q. Why does Spader look like he belongs in college, not high school? A. Because he was clearly too old for the part, although he was otherwise perfect. Q. Why would anyone hire an actor whose idea of emoting is to press his lips together and bulge his eyes out? A. Ask Andrew McCarthy's agent."
18_10_R2W3ZBIJY957K2	"""I just don't get what all the ""hype"" is about. It's almost as if you have to like this game or you're not ""cool"" by the way people talk about it. Guess I'm not cool, I freakin hate this game."" ""I actually restarted the game to go ith my lowered my expectations and see if I could bare through it. No go."" ""I would much rather read a good book than play this, it's far more exciting and stimulating."""
18_11_R1SC2TMO8D5VGV	"I own a KitchenAid mixer - which I loved until Motor Oil started leaking into my food. Just do a quick internet search on Kitchen Aid leaking oil and you'll get plenty of information - in particular that the company won't do anything about it, other than tell you to use your mixer more often. Give me a break!! Everytime I use it, I sit with paper toweling to catch the oil before it gets into the food. No more Kitchen Aid or Whirlpool products in my house."
18_13_RPUNKIVBUJ332	"Like a good Faux News reporter, Ken Gormley hides under a facade of facts, but somehow fails after nine years of research to answer the basic questions, like what were Kenneth Starr's motives for going well beyond his charter and sending investigators into Arkansas to dig into Clinton's personal life"
18_16_R3V704U7O8MLFN	"Spacious. Legendary. Ultra. Hunger. These are just a few of the words I feel dwelling inside my under carriage when wrapped in this fabulous fabric. Truly a man's greatest pleasure is a slow rolling waltz around those beautiful waxed flows, whilst the soulful tunes of Foghat lambast the general public. Take it from me. The funk will surely fly."
11_4_R3JUIEGFUTUWMI	"I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."
19_2_R3QCP3MCXY4JFZ	"I was heartbroken when it was cancelled.Basically, the fans and directv saved this. I usually hate 1 star reviews that have nothing to do with the show"
19_6_R3292S64ZO6UP2	"The managers were already very familiar with me, but when they stood up to physically eject me from the room, they noticed my The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee. They were transfixed for over seven-and-a-half minutes. One of their noses started to bleed. The shirt spoke to them, as it had spoken to me. They knew that there was something special about this shirt, and about this man wearing it before them. They knelt on the ground, waved some herbs around, and turned down the AC to make a makeshift sweat lodge--this was the real deal. I could tell, because I think they did something like that on Dances with Wolves or something (wolves, again)."
19_7_R23RNU0Q60V7MT	"Monkeys and apes exist as one of the greatest threats to mankind. I submit as evidence the multiple cases of chimps just flipping out and going bananas on their owners, often biting off noses, fingers, and testes, or even killing their comparatively helpless victims. I encourage anyone at all concerned about the growing threat of capuchin dominance to read this book in order to stem the tide of the marmoset menace. The next person they go ape on could be you."
19_20_RGDKQ3E506SQL	"Instead of moving things to a new level, New Moon wallows in the same somber material that was in the first film. But this time, girls, there are boys with no shirts = werewolves! How exciting? No, not really - especially when there is so much maudlin dialog spread throughout this film."
19_8_R3BCMWGJPVQ9K	"She learns to enjoy life and be selfish from the Italians - who by the way still find her immensely attractive, although they don't hoot and holler at her like they did 10 years previously. But she is still so damned cute. Just ask her."
19_9_R1NAPC7VHZ8SVJ	"Try, if you can, to put to one side GaGa's irritating self-obsession and her ridiculous delusion that she's somehow in on a 'party' and is 'sharing it' with us lowly non-famous people, Over indulgent, shallow and completely inconsequential rubbish of the kind we'll look back at in five years time and wonder what on earth so many people were thinking by buying it in large quantities. Presumably GaGa knows this already, hence her insistence on dribbling out barely coherent concepts of her fans being 'part of her lifestyle' (as if it's in any way desirable), and distracting us by flashing her body as if it adds anything other than something most women will cringe at and be rightly embarssed for her about."
19_10_R1Q924UQ808WDI	"See, I think the wolf should replace the bald eagle as our mascot because the wolf is only found in the United States, and they're bad. The bals-eagle, however, has been extinct for years and when they were alive, they were everywhere."
19_11_RCH4DJ0H38CV8	May have Hatched. Don't Know What Came Out.
19_15_R3HESUQA4KOLP5	"My copilot and I both used these during our ""daily grind"" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about ""FAA and F16 fighters."" We'll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be... Highly recommended!"
19_16_R2WBRBGO5BGFDB	"What so ECO about it ""batteries"" that need to be produced and then disposed of? I know that before I bought mine but I'm sure a bunch of tree huggers that bought one didn't!"
20_1_R7W7TEH4BDYFR	"I where this shrt everyday on my meals on wheels route, and I love the attraction it gets. ALready four of my clients have propsed, and a couple of them have sealed the deal, if you know what I meen. First of all, everything fears cobras. Everything. That is the power of the snake. Second, it looks like the tattoo that that cool guy Snake PLitkin had on his stomach without the pain of a tattoo. Chicks dig snakes. Everyone knows that."
20_13_R3K82ZOBEZOH7W	"Unless Obama gets caught actually making casserole out of live Girl Scouts, he would win re-election in his sleep. It would be like playing chess against a fish. Or Sarah Palin."
16_1_RIU4P618YCDYU	"The only people on earth who are allowed to sparkle are as follows... 1) Drag Queens. A Drag Queen who does not emit sparkly fabulousness from the core of their being is a very sad thing and should be given a hug. 2) David Bowie. Need I say more? Someone needs to explain the why's and wherefore's of this whole ""sparkly vampire"" business to me. I really don't understand it at all. Going out in daylight... OK, Dracula could do it if he were well fed, so why not? But sparkles? Anyway on to the meat of this review... (which will likely get thoroughly ignored as there seems to be so much hype over this flick) As far as I can tell, Twilight has no plot. At all. There aren't any conflicts until the last 20 minutes or so. There isn't any drama. This is a vampire movie with no conflict among the main characters, only teen angst and Bella and Edward mooning over each other. The dialog between Edward and Bella would be better if it were done with semaphore flags. Thank goodness I had rifftrax going during those awkward silences. The really sad part is that neither of them really seems to have any real reason to angst over their boring lives. Nothing's really keeping them apart. The few glimpses of indistinguishable backup high schoolers didn't have anyone telling Bella what a horrible person she was and no one went to torment ""the new girl."" Anything that could be remotely called interesting would have been centered around Bella's sheriff dad and the ""maulings"" (read: vampire attacks) he's investigating. But the script instead goes to focus on Bella and Edward's wangsting. Anyone who thinks of Bella as a Mary Sue, I agree. This is perhaps the worst case of published marysueitis I have ever run across. Everyone likes her. She always gets her way. People drop everything to save her even if they have utterly no interest to do so. To make things worse, I found her to be a horrible character in general. There's one scene where one of the indistinguishable backup high schoolers is asking her out to the prom and she isn't paying the poor bit character the slightest whit of attention, preferring to gaze longingly at Edward in the distance. I'm sorry, but that's just rude and under most circumstances would probably make someone a bit miffed. I don't care if the poor guy is a bit character, I'd rather a small look at any of the their small dramas, because I could at least see that they had things going on in their lives from the tiny glimpses shown in the film. Speaking of small bit characters, the best one is some poor construction or engineering guy in a hard hat who finds himself hunted by the ""OMG bad vampires."" I'll give the redshirt credit, the shadowplay on the screen says that he gave them a fight and with an iota more depth, he would have fought them off. :) Go redshirt, go! I'm told that scene was not in the books. It makes me lose all desire to ever read them. As seems to be the trend for this movie, the villains aren't developed at all. They are clearly ""OMG EVOL!!!1!!"" because they act like, well, normal vampires and because they see Bella as an interesting snack. Were they given more depth or a motive at all, I probably would have started to root for them. As it was, I was bored silly. Aesthetically speaking, the film wasn't terrible, although I could have done with less cool toned lighting. Kirsten Stewart is a pale deadpan enough without the camera making it even more obvious. Also, the soundtrack has a rather pretty piano piece in the middle, supposedly composed by Robert Pattinson. I hope he manages to get himself fired from the sequels before his entire career goes down the drain. He played a good Cedric in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I wouldn't recommend Twilight to anyone. No amount of pretty camera work or tiny scene additions could save this movie from a script that would have been better used as toilet paper."
20_5_R3Q1BK35LOZ29N	"After careful consideration, ive decided that no person could possibly make a movie THIS BAD unless that is their goal; and boy does Uwe Boll deliver."
20_9_RKC5U9Q04XUEW	"Making attractive Sims is about as easy as sculpting the masterpiece David from play dough. For interior design, rather than giving you a solid and complete set of home furnishings, you are instead offered very few selections, but the ability to make them patterned. Oh joy! What I really want is about 6 options of sofas, most of them ugly, but that I can apply plaid or camouflage skins to! That's so much better than having say 12 sofa varieties right? Not so much."
20_17_R20M05RKITG9XW	"This DVD will make you thinner, tanner, and more attractive to both men and women. Stuff it in your pants or bra to get that extra edge"
20_10_RMX00C97R9MOS	"I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!"
20_12_R2GLNH1U43940X	"Love at First Sip? Not., I didn't like this at all, it had a really funky taste. I tried several times to drink it and finally just threw it away - and I'm really tight with the dollar!"
20_19_R35YBWOP5T7994	"Oops, I just channeled negative energy out there. So I will get rubbish back, my bad. Actually, what ""The Secret"" proves, when it comes to the ""law of attraction"" is true -- stupidity attracts the stupid. That's why stupid secrets generate stupid money. Stupid is as stupid buys ... Gosh darn. I'm being negative again. I need to burn me some more DVD's..."
21_1_RKDNZHGSANSC4	"This album sounds like the songs were both written and performed by a 14 year old raver while she was in rehab or a mental facility. If I were forced to listen a few more times to this steaming pile of drivel, I think I would check myself into a facility. 1.5 stars."
21_7_R2DBF6RDIYXZDS	"A bunch of boys on an island who turn into savages, and then, at the last minute, when the protagonist is about to die, they get rescued?? This is, of course, after waiting the whole book for this to happen. Oh, by the way, kill all the good characters, and make a set of twins into a single person. What a fantastic idea!!"
21_17_R3GOVNLIQQGHT9	"This is a mystery for crying out loud! French gets to the end and says, ""Ummm, well it doesn't matter what really happened in the woods."" It's the freaking book title! You're the author. Write the story! And FYI, stories typically have ENDINGS! I burned my copy of this book for fear of its being inflicted on some other poor unsuspecting reader. I do not suggest you waste money or time on it."
21_8_R3M8X3OG0JU5Q	"I had just climbed out of the shower, and was about to prepare breakfast when a knock came from my front door. I was greeted by a handful of letters and a flippant postal worker, asking me to sign for a parcel. I had fallen in love. The slim, smooth body, that awkward fitting cap that set off the perfect angles, the way I held no sway over their interest... It was literally love at first sight. The second and third were indulgences. Then came lust. I could barely contain myself as I grabbed them, and wrapped myself around them. Feeling their touch on my skin was almost instantly overpowering, I couldn't help but stare, my eyes were locked. The postal worker just stared, oblivious, but I knew I had met my love. The smooth ink flowed from the end of the pen, so effortlessly, so carefree and wild, as my lover screamed my name across the page."
21_18_R1PH6TKNWE91QA	"The best bit was when the big wave came along and put messrs Clooney, Wahlberg, et al out of their misery."
21_19_R2DRW6X3LFRVIO	"The message Hollywood appears to be sending burgeoning cradle to grave twenty-something consumers in this crude, unintelligent, pathetic film is ""Go ahead! Be irresponsible! Show a complete and utter lack of common sense! Have no self-respect and get pregnant out of wedlock with the next drunken rube who comes along! Why? Because everybody loves babies!"""
21_10_R3I6Q94VABO389	"""It seems half-baked. It's a bad shooter, bad driver, and the story is blah. Where's the excitement?"" ""I get a spaceship!...oh wait, I just point and click on a planet : ("" ""I get a gun!...oh wait, I have to level up instead of just getting better with it : ("" ""There's something exciting I get to do in a city!...oh wait, I have to talk to him, go here, go back, go back to the first place, go back to talk to him, and go back again...Loading...wow I got 10 XP : ("""
21_12_R3Q5VKRJUVE8EB	"Her brain doesn't operate in a manner that corresponds to the real world. This is somewhat peculiar since at one time she was a respected reporter for the Seattle Times. But that was then, and this is now. Her brain is operating on a different frequency these days. One that clearly ignores reality. Before getting into Malkin's main charges against the Obama administration, it's interesting to note that Michelle Malkin is not just interested in the tax cheat-crook-crony angle, she has other objections. For one thing, she says, Obama's administration is made up of over-educated achievatrons. Brainiacs. People who are too smart. People who aren't dumb. (Worse yet, the children of members of the Obama administration send their kids of Georgetown Day School. Georgetown Day School! Where they will someday grow up to be valedictorians like their parents and join still another leftist administration.) This chills Malkin's blood. Oh, and don't forget the fact that according to the author, the New York Times (that fish-wrap of a newspaper) owns Obama, or perhaps it's vice-versa. The author doesn't really make it clear."
21_14_RHDD7HERRU63S	"Perfect... if your aim is early indoctrination of children. Yes, young minds need fairy tales to learn to separate fact from fantasy; reading or being read to can be instrumental in learning to discern good from evil. Personally, I prefer the classics not the New Socialist Meme."
9_8_RWAJWNKPNZZJ9	"I always wanted my crotch and my hands to have more in common, now they do!"
22_1_R1DT0VSKF8VRBC	"Our soldiers run fearlessly into the fray of battle wearing ShamWow body armor, which absorbs any and all bullets with ease. Oh no, you've been pulled over for drunk driving! Never fear - swallow a few pieces of ShamWow to absorb all the alcohol in your bloodstream."
22_16_RKIAFJWXH2PY7	"What the hell is this tripe? Oh, wait... ""Someone's knockin' at the door. Someone's ringin' the bell. Do me a favor. Open the door. Let him in."" Yeh, deep reflective lyrics. aul's falsetto on ""You Tell Me is"" bloody embarrasing, painful to listen to. Wonder what Simon Cowell would have to say about it???? I am NO FAN of American Idol, but I doubt Paul would have made the first cut with this junk."
22_5_R2945F560EYSVN	"But by all means if you want writing that tells instead of shows, ideas that don't develop any further than it takes to read in a chapter about the length of a visit to the toilet and characters as memorable and charismatic as the physical paper they are printed on, don't delay, this is the book you've been waiting for."
22_7_R3NKM8Y3RBNVF4	"I, as a resonable and trUstworthy hUman, do not gleep nerp this ungood prodUct. Bad it is for Us hUmans to purchase and opperate this online pUrchasable prodUct. As the person from Earth that I am, I think that all of my other fellow hUmans on Earth should immediately disUse and florgnify this Utterly Zorglefran, I mean bad item for bUying. Ha Ha. I am laughing with hUmor with the funny word I made up with my typing that I am not doing by direct thought extraction, and instant data transmission to Amazon.com website. Ha Ha. That was highly hUmoroUs and glerp. UFO detectors are so dUmb because all humans from Earth like the one I am, know that we I mean they do not even exist! Ha Ha Besides even if the alien friends did exist, who minds occassional anal probe for benefit of aliens that don't exist glerp science! I, as a resonable and trustworthy human person from Earth sure wouldn't mind helping our fUtUre overlords! Do not bUy this prodUct."
22_9_R39O2YE1B2TS7	"To this day, I have never been run over by a single huge ship!!"
22_11_R1LGQM8HN3DSJ8	"Yes, please feed your children loads and loads of hydrogenated oil and sugar. The healthcare industry will thank you for their profit in the future. Consider buying real, freshly ground peanut butter instead. It tastes so much better and is so much better for you."
22_12_R1VQSBUHBG90R1	"Mine was quite entertaining when I first purchased it because it came with a unique, added bonus feature. Every time the rake would get up to the disposal container, it would hang up and then forcefully catapult it's precious cargo across the room. I would be sitting there watching turd showers as they fell like meteors after being flung from inside my closet. The turd launcher, as I've come to refer to it, is now broken and assaults my home no more."
22_15_R3S3PYAPELGTG3	"As another reviewer noted, these used to be 10 for $10. Now 6 for $10, pretty outrageous.The tubes work just fine, but geez, nice way to reward customer loyalty...."
23_14_R2SAZW3KRQ0AB6	"bought this item in case of ever I was in a car accident and lost an important organ. I have used it on my neutered dogs and cats, but nothing has grown back. Is this what John Wayne Bobbit used to regenerate his organ?"
23_2_R418BR8JCQDL5	"If you liked Sienfeld....but thought it was to funny, this book is for you. A book about nothing,"
23_16_R3V2F6XTTPFGSJ	"I just recently got this product, and so I sat down to use it and asked it ""who am I speaking with"". Slowly the key moved to spell out ""Billy Mays Here"". Immediately after that there was a burst of cold air, and now he won't leave my house. He throws away all of the products I own that he didn't endorse, for example, all of my paper towels. I have to clean all my messes with Zorbeez, as he will not allow me to keep anything else. Its not all bad, I came home on my birthday and he had gotten me a Big City Slider Station, which actually works pretty good."
23_18_RZ9VV4P855NHB	"Some may argue that she may have been trying to shed her wholesome image from her prior TV show Who's the Boss but I think that she was just desperate for work and would take anything she could get her hands on, no matter how bad the script was. Either that, or she actually thought that these were supposed to be good films. If that was the case she ought to slap her agent during that period! he tries to confront her teacher about it at her house and he tries to practically rape her in the main hallway (while his wife and young daughter are home no less). His daughter and wife catch them in the act(WHOA!! I didn't see that coming!)and the little girl inexplicably runs out into the street and gets hit/killed by a car(!)."
23_19_R12ESKRX75V586	"This is an excellent read if you are suffering from insomnia, or need to purge your stomach. A combination of mind-numbingly stupid and vomit-inducing stupidity. Save your money and just drink some Drain-O. You'll actually feel better than if you read this excretion."
23_11_R137SGNP3PL2PV	"What exactly are you doing in the library with your iPod? Typing your term paper? I think not. It also needs a $50 a month home broadband connection (or a long, long visit to Starbucks) to download the absolutely required iTouch software before the object is more than a bad paperweight"
23_20_RRQCUXE2L2YUX	See the rare spectacle of Sean Connery covered in mud (or chocolate pudding) while maintaining a straight face!
24_5_R1XDMNRFJMN45Y	"""This simpering little twit plodding her way through this series should be used as forced-viewing punishment for people who take organized sports too seriously."" ""I suffered through an hour of this with my wife and I wished she's fall down a well and not come out. Or fall off a horse-drawn carriage that's going at full speed. Or, well, you get the idea."""
24_7_R1JNJNE2SQC5YJ	"Spend $22.50 a year and save $10,000? How does that work? Well, a couple of my close relatives have spent well over $10,000 each having their teeth and gums repaired. If you've had periodontal work or had root canal, implants, crowns or bridges done, you know that figure is not an exaggeration, and you're lucky if your insurance covers even a little bit of it. Having seen my relatives go through that, I've decided that as I get older, I want to spend my money on vacations and real estate, and not on painful dental procedures. That's why the Sonicare is the most frugal product I've bought. I too have had some costly dental work, and I'm determined to keep my fixed-up choppers in tip-top condition. This toothbrush is amazing. One thing very few people note about the Sonicare is that it not only cleans your teeth beautifully, it also keeps your gums in great shape, and that may be even more valuable. Here's the best testimonial to the Sonicare: I recently had braces for a few years. I mentioned to my orthodontist that I'd graduated from high school in 1983, and she said, ""You're not that old."" ""Yes, I'm 40,"" I said. She actually checked my chart! ""Well, your teeth and gums look like they belong to someone in their 20s!"" she concluded. Please invest wisely and don't skimp on dental care. I've had other electric toothbrushes (Oral B) and tried every kind of tooth cleaning brush, powder, and gimmick you can imagine. This is the one I've used for the last 5 years (I used the earlier Sonicare model for about 5 years before that), and this is the one I'm sticking with. My annual checkups confirm I've been making the right choice. Incidentally (inci ""dental"" ly?), Amazon's price on these heads is excellent -- much cheaper than my local pharmacies. A two-pack will last a year, since these heads wear out like clockwork at about 6 months. That works out to a little over $1.85 a month. Heck, you could spend that on regular toothbrushes!"
5_5_R2XKMDXZHQ26YX	"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women."
24_13_R3JUQA0325OK1L	"Her Husband embezzled so much money, that he would rather kill himself rather than face his crime. So She decides to go to Oval Office to get a job. Imagine what the Clinton enemies would have said if Clinton had given a government job to the wife of a huge fundraiser who was a convicted felon? The tone of her book is just blaming and bitter. Lie down with swine my dear get covered in Mud. That said, Clinton should never be forgiven for betraying the people who believed in him, for cheap and lurid sex. Because of his MonicaGate, we now have to pay with 8 years of the evilest President since Nixon. Thanks Bill"
24_14_R1K30QLIHSWCC3	"Many, many, many other shoes out there are also comfortable and also have the benefit of not being a crime against humanity. Wearing them with jeans or slacks is twice as bad, and makes baby Jesus cry. And if there are any hipsters out there considering them, it is also not OK to wear them ironically."
24_16_R2XODBMUTNTLM0	"""(No duh!)"", ""this model is not worth even a dime in my opinion"", ""I'm not sure what I'll do with this hunk of junk that I just wasted $220.00 on"""
25_1_R1OKUK8OV3OTEI	"Wow! So much better than playing school or house for brainwashing---I mean, acclimatizing today's tots to the realities of the Global War on Terror."
25_2_R1YDDX28V2RGFS	"Well, its finally happened after all these years! The Wicked Witch of the West has finally met her match and her name is Rhoda Janzen whose cackling and theatrics throughout her narrative would make Dorothy jump right out of those ruby slippers."
25_4_R26TYS2WKXJO4R	"""Once again, BioWare uses their robust character customization system to let you make any kind of Commander Shepard you want - as long as it's not a gay male."" ""Straight guy? Natch. Straight woman? Of course. Bisexual or lesbian woman? Obviously, since it's just a kink for the straight guys."""
25_5_R27YOGCKS5U023	"Is there really anyone in the world dumb enough to pay this much for an ounce of silver bullion? If so, I have a really beautiful antique bridge in New York I'll sell cheap."
25_19_R35DRT9CR9I02	"He's a wimp, a pushover, and an all around lazy guy. He's terrified that Winnie will leave him (oh, how will he go on without her telling him how to put on his socks!?), but she won't because she's still determined that being married to him with further her career. Oh, did I mention they have a son? Probably not, since they basically pay him no attention, and his name is never even mentioned in their story. What great people the Diekes are!"
25_7_REGU8LS82585Y	"I never had an easier time beating eggs and whipping cream and it also has an ""auto stir"" feature which I use frequently to prepare meals more quickly. Pro Tip: Leave it on medium setting along with your marinating meats to help tenderize."
25_12_R2MBG53YJEKQCI	"After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity. Yes, I had perfect weather: no flooding, no tornadoes, the exact amount of rain necessary, and he pronounced sea levels exactly right and that they were not going to rise within five miles of my house. Additionally, my cars began achieving 200 mpg and I didn't even need gasoline. I was able to put three grams of cat litter into the tank and drive forever."
25_17_R2H0CEVY3HM2UK	"I bought this toy for my kid in the hopes of sending a better message than all of those superhero action figures and he just loves it! This day and age, kids are programmed by our government to think that everyone is out to destroy us and that they need heroes to come and save us all. They forget that there are everyday people out there who need a little compassion and understandng. I make my kids sit down every day for at least an hour and play with the Cat Lady. We talk about what has made her the way she is and we discuss different options of things we might do to help her. We get into conversations about what rle society plays in the creating of these people who seriously have issues and then we practice empathy role play by having our social services action figures come to her aid and get her the help she needs. It has created hours of educational fun for our entire family. I recommend also purchasing the Albino Bowler and the Obsessive Compulsive action figures as well. We have used a cardboard box and built a small Mental health center/Halfway house where we keep our action figures always getting the help they need from the little doctors and nurses who work there."
26_1_R183KYZI822C61	"1)This toy is WAY over rated. The spots rub off with water. 2)Sophie is naked now and her eyes look like her mascara has run down her face. 3)Not to mention that she feels and sounds like a dog toy,which is why my mom's dog ate her head."
26_2_RGSIKWGU5DAAX	"Here is a man that could not ""give"" a solid response to save 800,000 Rwandans writing a book about giving. The irony is nauseating. No one who sits by and watches 800,000 people die and not take action should never be assumed to have the least bit wisdom in the area of giving."
26_5_R2JAN7N7K0C4O6	The pinnacle of bat perfection. Blood stains wash off easily with soap and water. Femurs snap like toothpicks under it's irresistible force. Deadbeats pay up instantly at the mere sight of this instrument. I can't imagine how I ever got by without it before. This thing could drop an elephant. Buy this bat.
26_18_RZELFOPL8TDIM	"L. Ron Hubbard wrote 'Dianetics' while under the influence of amphetamines and alcohol, plus his usual three or four packs of filterless Kools per day. In the book itself, Hubbard recommends Benzedrine. If not for the pharmaceutical company that manufactured Benzedrine, and the distillery that made the Gin, plus a regular supply of mentholated cigarettes, which provided nicotine, we likely would not have had this masterpiece."
26_6_R1WVWREPM1TA6H	"If you think the idea of watching a 40-something-year-old man attempt to minimalize his life to the nth degree could just be quirky enough to be interesting, think again. Written and directed by Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale), Greenberg is an exercise in cinematic endurance that tests the audience's patience to the breaking point. How long you last will depend on how interested you can force yourself to be in the lives of Greenberg and the people he passes along the way. Chances are you will snap long before the movie stumbles to its pretentious ending."
26_19_RJTCH57AEFCLH	It is just a two hour marathon of depression.
26_11_RC5HSK44F9KSV	"Avril is a goddess on the guitar and writes music better than ANYONE else. She is also da best s8kt0r in history. Her lyrics are genius. If you want good music then also get: - Vanilla Ice (created Rap and hip-hop. Ice Ice baby! This is what you should not get: -baroque classical posers like Mozart, Bach, Paganini, Beethoven, Chopin etc"
27_3_R32D6SSBZJU2ZO	"Then comes the worst ever street jumping clip ever filmed. I mean if I had a retarded little brother, who had polio... probably he could jump better. Drug lord strikes a deal with the cops, get the car... get the baseball card back. Hmmm.. didnt know any NY cops who were soft enough to let a street hood call the shots. Anyway, these 2 evidently allow it. They trace the car.. By interrogating a 11 year old car jacker! JESUS! Car has been sold to a russian attorney. Honestly... NY lawyers make enough money to buy new cars (especially if living in a mansion with a swimming pool and detached garage as shown here), and any lawyer knows better than to deal in stolen goods and have his license revoked. /facepalm! Well, the cops find the girl. She is the ex-mistress of a Mexican drug baron, who our NY drug baron killed. She has a flash drive with the mexican baron's bank information. Passwords and cash amounts. (How convinient)."
27_4_RWSQIFTHNZCM7	"""Arena rock used to be more monster truck, but now my kid brother's up on the stage, waving his snotrag above the greasy crowd like it's an extension of his ""aura."""" ""If you had said Thom Yorke's help-I-just-choked-on-a-chicken-and-got-the-urge-to-sing vocal stylings would spawn a million followers, clogging up a whole decade in faux alacrity, I would have considered thee mad!"""
27_17_R3E7VLNC3DCN94	"he actors portraying Japanese soldiers act like a bunch of twelve year olds who have never seen a gun go off before. They throw their hands up at the first sign of an American soldier without putting up a fight (yeah right!). In addition to all that, the history is all messed up. The US soldiers are portrayed as attackers when in fact they dug in and defended the island from the Japanese. What a joke."
27_18_R1UO8C8V2V3SLD	the only redeeming quality of the movie is that it is SO ridiculously wrong that you start laughing in disbelief at its stupidity.
27_12_RTBDV3D382IYW	"My teeth are whiter, but I can't smile because of the pain."
27_13_R2B25RC7IKGUIT	I swear watching Teletubbies or mold grow in your shower is more interesting than this book.I could not get through half of it.
27_14_R2FHC3NHL0T8UJ	"INVADED SOUTHERN NEPAL, WORKS LIKE A CHARM!!!"
28_2_R1O8P42N198WAN	"""Who needs any form of integrity when we can make a quick buck?"" ""It's also not as if this is displayed once in the game,but everytime a character wants to transform into a Persona, we get to see a nice scene of kids blowing their brains out. What class Atlus; I hope you sleep well at night."""
28_3_R341CN15R9VX4Q	"One good thing he does talk a lot about is don't waste your time watching TV (I stopped watching TV about 5 years ago and it was life changing). Although if you follow his advice, about the only thing you will be able to afford to do is watch TV."
28_4_R3U7JCSNGXTU3R	"But if you are be doing the sex thing, don't be taking no pills or putting no rubber things on your ding dong to prevent god's babies. After all, we need more crazy people to write more nonsense like this."
28_16_RPDS2QMF2SDHG	"Possibly the most important discovery since Pencillin And then, late one night, I began playing this album to her and the moment she heard Katie Price's amazing voice her eyes began to flutter. By the end of track 3 she was sitting upright in bed, tossing her hair - and by track 5 we were making love like wild stallions. Needless to say, for both of us, this timeless and extraordinary album is little short of a miracle!"
28_10_R1IATHJOACP720	"Think you are smarter than everyone else? Understand the plight of African-Americans more than anyone, because you are open-mined, unlike the conformist masses? Then this book is perfect for you!"
28_18_R1ZDWC7Y3FLMWO	Sizzling Sixteen falls as flat as Granny Mazur in an orthopedic boot.
29_3_R3SR0SB9JSO8IX	"I'm 45 minutes into this film and can't think of any good reason to finish watching it. There is NO STORY. Belle is pining for Edward and fixing a motorcycle. Wow, I'm on the edge of my seat. I've never been able to see what the young ladies see in Robert Pattinson, and this makes me wonder even more. But to each his (or in this case, her) own. The only thing keeping me in suspense is when does Taylor Lautner cut his hair? If you're a fan of the series or fan because all your other friends are gaga for this series, then watch it, otherwise, catch up on any missed episodes of Buffy. She's far more entertaining."
29_5_R1B8AJTIQ2O97Q	"I'm certain the game is still cheating, but to make up for it, the game also has artificial idiocy programmed. Every so often, it skips an opportunity to run your face into an orc's backside, allowing you the chance to run the computer's face into an orc's backside. The problem is, who cares? It's still just ""Bejeweled"" and weren't we supposed to be tired of that in 2005? I guess not, because I'm still matching fist gems together to earn enough action points to throw a knife into a goblin's eyeball."
29_18_R1WLZAH4TAPM55	"I don't know who made the initial pattern for this hat, but they should be jailed. ......SO thanks for nothing turkey hat."
29_11_R3RWV5A6K123AK	Herpes is great to pass around the office
30_6_RL8C44W8XWMDQ	The great tragedy of this book is that the author didn't kill off Catherine and Heathcliff MUCH SOONER. Then she might have been able to introduce alternate main characters who were actually interesting.
30_18_R2PEBP7PF3S4LX	"The Sonicare Essence series e5300 is a great manual toothbrush, not sonic. I say this because when it completely dies anywhere from 2-6 months from date of purchase, you will be using it as a manual toothbrush. I use mine in the shower. It fits great in my hand and has some weight to it (from the non-replaceable dead battery) so it's not as cheap-feeling as a flimsy plastic toothbrush. The bristles are also nice and compact and reach fairly well. The only downside is the price. At around fifty bucks it's a little steep for a manual toothbrush, but hey, you get what you pay for right? The build quality is way better than a cheap six dollar plastic toothbrush and replacement heads are only about twenty-five bucks per two pack. Find comfort in knowing that when yours dies (and it will) it makes a great manual toothbrush. Also, you can cut the electrical cord off of the now useless charger and use it for a cool-looking toothbrush holder! The only reason I gave it one star is because it is supposed to be a sonic toothbrush, but oh well. It still kicks butt as a manual one!"
30_10_R2PPFDYP1IYXG2	"My neck is now my favorite feature apart from my cankles. A day after using the Neckline Slimmer, I can no longer turn my head any direction but up or down, and I LOVE the fulfilling sensation of a solid 2 minute workout. And I found other applications; I used the Neckline Slimmer as a pogo stick for my hamster!"
30_12_R6HGUV6A4SMBK	"I love a good ghost series, but Paranormal State doesn't belong in that category: It is slapstick. You are not psychic: You are an actor...a hammy actor."
30_13_RGMGBPD7TCAAQ	"Morris has a laundry list of complaints about Congress and American Politics yet rather than targeting the real villains of Congress (ie Tom DeLay and his corrupt regime) he predictably blames it all on the Democrats. Yawn. The real outrage is that a guy who is caught hiring a prostitute (and telling national secrets to that prostitute) can still be seen as credible. If you are looking for a reasoned book on the decline of American politics, save your money. If you are looking for a rant about the Democrats and Clinton with little facts then give it a try (although don't think too hard about what Morris will spend the profits on....)"
30_14_R2UKFI70OEPOC2	"'By the time I finished using Bissell's Little Green carpet cleaning machine, I realized it would have taken less time if I'd just taken an old toothbrush, a bottle of spot cleaner, and scrubbed the stains out. That would have saved me the fifteen extra minutes it took to empty and clean the water tanks, the nozzle, and the cleaning head. I could have used old towels to blot the damp carpet, which is what I ended up doing, anyway, because Little Green is little help sucking up the water left in the rug.'"
30_16_R2IYNBQQK2OZS	"THIS shirt that reaches deep into my soul, punches it in the face, and wakens it. That's when my soul (half wolf) leaps out of my body, ripping through the shirt, and into your lives, forever. Like Rocky... as in Rocky 5. It's beautiful, and it has you by the throat. I wore this shirt to the beach, went swimming in the riptide, was bitten in the face by a shark. How awesome is that?!"
31_1_R3UOCWSY71IDHB	"""if only his singing matched the beauty of the guitar. . ."""
31_13_RJPVHJSBDZJZ8	"Ann always looks like a hooker on the cover of her books. If you find her attractive, I recommend going to the bookstore and ripping off the cover of the book when no one is looking. You can hang it on your wall or carry it with you and look longingly at her when you get bored--but save your money and your time....don't bother reading this book."
18_15_R1NCQRCQI09CNH	The only thrilling part of it was that I was finished with it.
31_5_R1IEO3YW7PKGVV	"I bought this mobo from Amazon, afte buying the same month the DG31PR Classic for my wife. I spected to be a little more advance, bad choice. After I install my new PC, the 2do. day of use, the LAN failed. So I had to buy another network card to be able to connect to internet and post this review to alert others! The second issue I hate is (and I'm really trying to understand Intel), Why does this mobo has to beep twice at startup? So one can see it's all ok? Who gives a damn. BEEP when something IT'S Wrong!! The DG31PR doesn't do it and works great! For last, don't waste your money, buy a DG31PR is less cost and better performance. AND IT DOESN'T BEEP!"
31_15_R1VFVF6B8XUB40	"If you're looking to purchase a scary toy that makes vacuum cleaner sucking sounds and plays the most annoying ""arcade like"" music, then this is for you."
31_16_R6XV5Q1ZZZVIP	"ordered one of these Fresh ""Whole"" Rabbits, but when it arrived its head, fur and insides were missing. Not exactly whole, I'd say! Maybe it was just damaged during shipping, but I won't be buying another one. I mean - without the long ears, how do I know it even WAS a rabbit? It was the same size and shape as a cat...not that I've seen a cat with its head, fur and insides missing. I mean, not like really close or anything."
31_7_R24HZ6RCD0W42U	"I am the CEO of a fortune 500 company. Every day I wear the Wolf Sunset shirt underneath my power suit. It's my little secret. It gives me the confidence I need during shareholder meetings and tough negotiations with our Japanese suppliers. Let me tell you, that Yamaguchi is real hardass, and there's no way I would have gotten that price on transistors if I hadn't been infused with both of natures two most powerful sources of energy: the sun and wolves."
31_9_R1GE9UI3OWCA8M	"There should be a warning label, ""Danger, listening to William Hurt's reading of ""The Sun Also Rises"" is known to nauseate expectant listeners""."
31_18_R1B301RNW4MUJL	"Mr. Brown is no doubt pleased, and loses little sleep over the possibility that in six years no one will be reading his blockbuster. He has his villa on the Riviera, if he wants it. Well, in this enlightened age, you know how readers love books that moon religion, and especially if the moon-ee is the once venerable but now scandalized Catholic Church."
31_12_R20DC4GUFEH0PE	"I happened upon my Zubaz at the mall in (19)95, and automatically I was overcome by a spiritual, animal connection. My soul ached and cried: I am just a man, trapped in my faded denim jeans. My animal spirit was calling me, and I knew at that moment that, for to truly be at one with nature, I must wear purple zebra print pants."
32_16_R3BGVX3Y1X38I5	"was looking for a little bit of entertainment on a quiet Winter's Sunday, I wasn't looking for a sleeping aid. Though if you are having trouble getting a good nights sleep, then this movie may solve all of your problems."
32_2_RJOX1FO2ICFAQ	"But all of her struggles were her own doing because she was afraid of perception. She wasn't ever worried that she wasn't doing enough for her daughter, but rather that people would think she wasn't such a superwoman afterall. Yes, Maggie. You probably are better off in the office. I disliked the way she just announced to her husband that they were moving back to London. Great communication there, hun. After moaning about how you never agreed with the choice in the first place, maybe you would have treated your husband with the respect you wish you had been treated with. Nope. Instead she does him just like he did her. There really was no maturity with this woman."
32_3_R2S2E1DB2ATCX8	"Unless he or she is in a coma, your pet will absolutely despise the sound and vibration of it."
32_17_R3PEFTBREU1KSA	"Thought experiment: I know the secret. You know the secret. We both want to win the race. Who gets it? If said whoever wanted it more, you probably already read this stupid, stupid book for stupid, stupid people."
32_4_R3NP3ZDYBR5FQM	"I could feel my face flush and warm sweat rise from my palms as I greedily tore into my morning surprise. And there it was: My Wolf Flag Tshirt. I was so overcome with emotion I didn't know what to do first - should I christen it? Salute it? What to do.. Of course I decided to immediately tear off my whiskey-stained wife beater and slap this bad boy on my back. I would describe the feeling as being somewhat akin to banging three strippers in a jacuzzi full of hundred dollar bills and liquid ecstasy. Which I fully plan on doing now that I have this shirt."
4_13_RETS8UQ5PLPFK	"I knew my day was going to improve when the truck pulled up at my home with this cable deep within. No ordinary truck, this one was Holy White, and the gold Delivery logo sparkled like a thousand suns reflected through shards of the purest ice formed with unadulterated water collected at the beginning of the universe.The cable knew where to go, and hooked itself into the correct ports without help from me - all the while, the choir sang praises to the almighty digital god. With trepidation, I pushed ""play,"" and was instantly enveloped in a sound that echoed the creation of all matter, a sound that vibrated every cell in my body to perfection. I was instantly taken to the next plane, where I saw the all-father. I knew with my entire soul, that all was good in the world. But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue."
32_9_R7C2P79OILQD8	"""Go buy a $20.00 scratch off ticket instead then you might find yourself in a rainbow rather than this sewer of a CD."" ""Don't Buy it Now. Don't even buy the mint used copy I have up for sale."""
32_10_R1IVJFR92AIGOS	"I like good design, lots of features and industrial strength, so when I saw this ""full-featured"" elegant processor with extras well under $... new, I brought it home and tested it with my favorite Italian batter bread recipe from Bernard Clayton's authoritative bread book. This bread takes 35 minutes of kneading with my powerful Kenwood Major mixer, but the Kenwood mixer walks around the counter as it slams the doughball, so I looked forward to Clayton's 7-minute Cuisinart kneading time. The light batter lifted up the blade and allowed seepage all around the bowl before I reached 2/3 of the claimed 6-cups of flour capacity. It looked like ""the blob"" was back and about to eat Seattle. Customer service operator at Cuisinart left me on hold for 10 minutes while she ""went to get a blade,"" then disconnected me. Second half-hour call got me an operator who wouldn't hang up. She got the blade, confirmed that it does not ""snap in place"" as the first operator claimed,told me I had to use only Cuisinart bread recipes. This machine is only 570 watts -- info missing on the box -- and mine stopped with only 5 cups of flour and 2 cups of water -- well under the 6-cups of flour claimed capacity. Clayton offers adjusted recipes for food processors, but apparently he hadn't tested this ""gem."" If you want to do various breads, forget the Cuisinart 2011. If you want to cool your heels while your incompletely mixed bread is rising, try Cuisinart's 800 number. Your wish will be granted, but your bread, it will not be so good."
32_20_R2HLECDHOH8OLG	"Paul Blart is a mall cop and although he's clumsy at times, he's definitely not a loser. He's an inspiration for security ""officers"" everywhere. As the drama unfolds, we see that Blart doesn't get the respect he deserves from anyone in the movie. Several times I had to wipe the tears from my eyes as I watched the film. Kevin James is a highly underrated actor in the mold of William Shatner as well as being an hilarious comedian. His role in ""Mall Cop"" is similar to Jackie Gleason's in ""Smokey and the Bandit"". If you don't like this movie, you probably hate weight challenged people, and if you hate them, you most likely hate America."
32_11_R3BAX63L69TDSL	"*Clears throat* Ok..., WHEN I FIRST PUT ON THIS SHIRT I WON TEH LOTTERY DEN GOT FREE PIZZA FAW LIFE, CHUCK NORRIS CAME TO MY HAOUS"
33_2_R3094B4G8A9SMQ	my Fifi Trixiebelle has a hell of a time keeping her girlish figure on those regular ole' high calorie dog beers.
33_3_R2VT7XQ4UTN0HO	"Charming story, had it not been written by Austen... Austen's supposed satire of the gothic novel is tangled up with what would have been the finest fluff of effeminate fiction -- had anyone else written it. Austen, however, cannot resist sinking her sharp little claws into naivete, romance, and (of course, this IS Jane Austen) men."
33_4_RY879UHG574C7	"I was searching for clothes that speak to me.. These pants not only spoke to me, they entered my soul and transformed me. When I get out of my bitchin 78 camaro wearing these bad boys, there's no question who the boss man is.."
33_13_R2V5DY325ZGHZT	"Setup and installation was a breeze. I put it up on my roof for optimal alien-detecting and promptly felt reassured that I could once again tell when aliens were finally coming to our fair planet. However, the very first night, the built in LED started flashing and a loud, persistent beeping awoke my entire neighborhood. I, of course, recognized that aliens were coming and grabbed my katana from under my pillow. No aliens were going to anally probe me. But after extensive searching around my entire town, disguised as a lamppost, I found no traces of aliens anywhere."
33_6_R2OVOVLV9J544P	"Imagine putting a bra on your pet snake, yes that's what that looked like."
33_7_R33YPAV3D4QU2P	If you pay $250 for this blender you need your head examined.
33_16_R2097NO6B8QGI0	"I say 'tried' because after two separate attempts I couldnt bear to watch more than half of the film. This is coming from someone who gave Eraserhead 5 stars, so take this as a very bad sign."
33_9_RDB057C20T13D	"One was having a particularly difficult time getting out of bed early this morning. One was having anguished thoughs about one's job at the massage parlor, particularly the difficulty in keeping one's kimono clean. One called in sick and went back to bed, when, ""ding dong"" the doorbell rang, and the magnum opus of Mr Robert Louis Stevenson's imagination arrived courtesy of Fed Ex! One imagines that ""Knight Rider"" and ""Baywatch"" existed for the sole purpose of training and preparing our own Mr Hassloft for the role of both his and Our's lifetimes."
33_11_R28WWTBXYCVTR8	"Why I ever bought this mop is still a mystery to me. First, I bought a Shark vacuum cleaner and it lasted less than a year...."
33_19_R3OXTFYR6ENJQF	"""My jaw nearly hit the floor when the updater crashed. """
33_20_R1FOT0YCW9FGIH	"So, you think you're reppin' 2 the maxx'? Yeah, right, poser. You can't hang with us."
34_1_R2UXRVHKN4Y2GJ	"""I wish someone at Amazon would have kissed me first just to get me a little excited first!"""
34_15_R3TFOY32X4LDK6	"Don't get me wrong. I have to give Al credit for selling a book just by a clever title. His book on Rush Limbaugh, though now inaccurate due to Limbaugh's weight loss, grabbed attention just by its sheer rudeness."
34_4_RNI9VWP5GIW1D	TWILIGHT's chief problem is that it's a clumsy mystery. Even the characterization seems weak in this book
34_5_R34QJNZJDT6KGA	"I have been with T-Mobile for years and they havent had the best phones. I'm coming from a iphone on tmobile service, so when this phone came out I figured this would be better. NOT at all! During the first week the phone started freezing terribly, unlike the iphone it takes forever and a day to charge up, the marketplace sucks, the apps are very expensive, the keyboard is stupid and very sensitive which is a problem for me because I'm a fast typer. Sometimes the phone still shows im on a phone call for hours and when im not, and it's not connecting to the mircosoft exchange server for my email. Now the exchange server log in screen pops up every 5-10 mins. Even though the camera has 5 mega-pixels, the photos still are very grainy and not that clear. I soooooo regret purchasing this phone, and because I've passed my exchanged period (14 days from purchase), my only option now is to sell it."
34_17_R1W83QE608Z29S	"Secondly, THE STORY STUNK! It was a boring manual on dog training with a few moments of babbling dialogue about NOTHING. The heroine/hero were bland and rude respectively and together they were totally forgettable. The serial killer was stuck in here and there like an afterthought. The ending was just as unimpressive. I'd rather listen to nails scraped down a chalkboard than have to endure this book again."
34_7_R3OWWH7MSNV82Z	"Works like a dead horse Worthless Chinese made garbage."
34_8_R2IJ3EJOCJDUDQ	"Whatever laughs there are are so belaboured that they're just not funny anymore. For instance, the big scene where Jack spews all of Emma's secrets & her colleagues respond in shock to every single darned one goes on for some 4 pages ('You're really a size 6?' 'You have a Barbie bedspread?' 'You hate crochet?' bla bla bla...) Boy, funny stuff. There's just no depth of any kind. Worst of all, the plot line is so contrived. I completely get why Emma would think she was 'madly' in love with Jack after just a couple dates but what's Jack's deal? Are we really supposed to believe that some multi-millionaire CEO would fall in love with this ditzy, dim junior employee who is easily what, 20 years his junior? Riiiight. And Jack's 'big secret'? Now THAT made me laugh because it was just soo silly! And the sappy ending? Yuck!"
34_10_R2HYEFMSKK0K7H	If you are a rich woman sitting at home with nothing else to do but analyze your pregnancy bit by bit and rant about it all.....then you should read this! Because that's this book is all about!
35_1_R1C5YDK3IH0JPK	"If you notice, a 10 pack is ONLY 10k. The 15 pack is 25k. Why wouldn't anyone just purchase two 10 packs and save the extra 5k for a down payment on a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser, a 3 wolf moon shirt, a pair of Zubaz, some truck nutz, and a frosty jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon, 128 oz."
35_8_RNQ62S4GP251W	"Like any profession the burglary profession has bit hit hard by the recession. People just don't buy luxury goods anymore and when they do they tend to protect these assets with more care, i.e. dogs, guns, security alarms. First and foremost, notice the matte finish-- for burglars beyond the amateur level matte finish is essential. I know there are some flashy cat burglars that take a lot of joy in a gloss coat but for us ninja-type burglars we want to get in and get out as quickly and painlessly as possible. All I did was swing the blade nice and quick, off goes the hand and I was out of the house with the goods. EASY. 10 stars for this self-defense/burglar blade. Really do yourself a favor and pick-up one before you go ""shopping"" for some of your neighbors goods."
35_12_R2BHAO9XCM3FNL	"With a motley assortment of irreedemable losers and a poorly constructed and boring plot, the reading of this book is only slightly more pleasurable than being poked in the eye with a sharp stick."
35_19_RK6ZNXRFKB6AZ	"""Be great weights for a beginner child, like age 12, when first learniing to correctly use to avoid injury """
35_13_RGX5CPTZSVYLC	"I ordered this as I work in a rough neighborhood. My boss was stabbed recently outside the office; and another colleague was shot last year. As I have to walk a bit from the bus; I needed some added protection. I purchases this item; and it looks fantastic. I get some odd stares on the bus- but it is pretty intimidating. The other day; I was mugged and feeling brash in my armor, I told the guy off. Well- needless to say he went after me. The knife didn't get through the armor at all. The blade broke- and rather than being stabbed-- I was pushed over and kicked several times before the mugger ran off."
36_18_R3G4SDHB6O3P7K	This book is so bad I really believe Steel should give all of us a refund or at the very least send us a coupon to purchase her next book free which is probable the only way you could get me to read it.
36_1_R15E5F12IJPM35	"It is almost blasphemic to use mortal words to describe this garment. A product that carries within it the power of not one, but three times the wolf intensity. I had been out-wolved. I returned to my nest to regather myself and await in teh darkness for a 5 wolf shirt that will bring about the end of man."
36_3_R3J7O2KZVC1NDW	"the amount of overtly homoeroticsm in these cartoons boils way over the top. you can definitely see that the guy is gay."
35_2_R1XR9A4UDEXD5D	""Wooden-u, like a toilet seat, from China?"
35_7_R3AZVJ1F11KM4W	"I have been locking the wife and kids into the chamber from 7pm to 7am every evening, and boy am I relaxed. This really works."
36_9_R1K51UN9PAUF7E	"To keep it simple, To Kill a Mockingbird is more boring than watching people answer phones on PBS during pledge drives."
36_11_R1TSBX8EQJ5OQ3	"""Like Watching Old People #!@%"" ""Brooks so totally lost the plot from the latter half of the 70s on that bodysnatching aliens and Faustian bargains spring naturally to mind as reasonable explanations: that's how fast, and far, he fell off the cliff."" ""Oh, yeah....about those jokes. They're about on the level of a Bob Hope Special from 1971, only with the racier, edgier material cut out."""
36_12_R3W1O661T65OBH	"Unless you want to sweep on your hands and knees, make sure you purchase the handle separately!"
36_15_RVTV0B4EEFISD	"It happens to me all of the time: I'm minding my own business, when some intellectually challenged person mentions that health care is evil, big business will save the planet, or the middle class should pay more taxes so the wealthy can invest their dispensible income in the stock market and real estate. I just want to tell them, read a freakin' history book! -- but they only become more self righteous. You feel your pulse beating in your temples. Each breath is harder to take. You can't be rude to the intolerant. The rules are different for them and they can say whatever they want. Your only hope is..."
36_16_R1D5KMCO7KVUGQ	"This band is like sooooooo deep. Like Chester Bennington, I am a tortured artist; one too complex and intelligent to be understood by people who don't watch MTV or TRL. That's why I like MTV, because it caters to head-strong anti-mainstream rebels such as myself."
37_17_RKROYW3CRY9MD	Is there somewhere I can apply to get the time I spent watching this movie refunded to me?
37_3_R2C7FCYGJJF5BZ	"That said, my look was achieved and a vibe was emitted. Beautiful babies dressed in poofy prom dresses were admiring my status as the alpha male all night long. One girl in particular caught my eye from a distance and the hunt was on. Her hair was frizzy, her earrings were huge, and her outfit was all shades of neon...just my type. As I went in for the kill, it was as if the power of the Wolf Gaze took over and not only impacted her inner urges, but dictated the song selection as well. The lights dimmed, the strobes kicked on, and the sweet, sweet sounds of Duran Duran's ""Hungry like the Wolf"" filled the room. Needless to say, the night ended successfully."
37_5_R2UI4Z35NOUOEZ	"When I read this book, the only thing I could think was, ""Hmm, where have I seen THIS before? OH YEAH, ""Battle Royale"" by Koushun Takami, ""The Long Walk"" by Steven King, ""Lord of the Flies"" by William Golding, the movie The Condemned, et cetera."" Congratulations, Suzanne! You've just proven that idiots without brains in their heads can be successful too!"
37_18_R34YE7A2PTL3QN	"The only way to enjoy this dvd is with the sound turned completely off. That's right, just watch the entire movies in silence. At least your eyes will enjoy what will otherwise torture your ears and mind. Let's see what your ears/mind would miss. (I wish mine had.) Marital breakup over oral sex. Hmmm, oh, father and son dating same female (there are old testament laws against such). Black males and black females can't get along, what's new. And the big mouth no-talent d.l. hughley, yuck. I knew something was wrong when all my bookclub member could say about this movie is ""uh, well morris chestnut is fine."" I mean that's all she could say. Save your money on this dvd and buy a poster of Morris Chestnut, it's less expensive on time and money and mentality."
37_9_RSPTDHROM36NS	"""I wish I knew before purchase that this RPG would be almost the EXACT same thing as every other one."" ""The game starts when you're trapped in some castle. YAWN, like that scenario has never been played out."" ""The game continues on to repeatedly slap the buyer in the face each time you kill a rat or some other enemy. I don't get how this has made so many Top 10 lists, this game flat out blows."""
37_10_R3KM9NLAEVGBC	"In all, you're still going to be doing tons of labor in regards to the Cat waste so you might want to consider the advantage of spending tobacco money on a small toilet that you stuff in the corner of your home that smells like a Formaldehyde fish bowl."
37_11_R2ZC5JZHQSC6AM	i'd like to congratulate tom Putnam for showing us that he has the leadership and skill to rise among the ranks of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
37_13_R2JGB93G0HYWUZ	"I bought this air compressor to use for airbrushing. I need 20-40 psi and less than 1 cfm. This compressor will generate 100 psi. Here is the funny part... the instruction sheet says for break-in you should turn the regulator valve clockwise all the way and leave it open (no hose, etc) and run for 5 minutes before using. Fair enough. No regulator... no valve... the think runs 100 psi and just splills that out into what ever you hook up to it. You would have to add a regulator to it. The other joke... it was so incredibly loud it was louder than my 6 HP 60 gallon upright compressor in my garage!!! Ran it in my basement with the doors and windows shut and my wife was concerned the neigbors Easter dinner would be unejoyable in their homes in the neibhorhood around the house. The noise was incredible... I would say equivalent to a Jet air craft taking off in close proximity in terms of decibles."
37_15_RNWJYJMJXTXO2	""" I actually prayed for it to stay in tune and I don't do that often."" ""It actually smells funny, it smells funny!"" ""Take your money and burn it, you would actually have more fun doing that than playing this god forsaken thing."""
38_1_R3J1JLZOHMBCXY	"Have you ever wanted to be the dictator of an obscure country whose name you can't pronounce, only to realize you don't have the appropriate armaments in your suburban garage to give you that tactical advantage? Let's face it: installing that leaf blower and shop vac in the wife's SUV just isn't going to get the job done and will probably only lead to ridicule."
38_2_R1JL3HUD2KZUFO	"Message: ""Follow your dreams"". How deep, and original."
38_5_R21EW21BFB87FO	"All I wanted was a camera that could ""burn"" the date into the picture, like all the ones I've had for the past 10 years. I take a lot of rapid-fire pictures. Some genius at Kodak decided the decision should only be made on a picture-by-picture basis, and to keep the feature on is not a good idea. Hence, it got returned."
30_16_R2IYNBQQK2OZS	"THIS shirt that reaches deep into my soul, punches it in the face, and wakens it. That's when my soul (half wolf) leaps out of my body, ripping through the shirt, and into your lives, forever. Like Rocky... as in Rocky 5. It's beautiful, and it has you by the throat. I wore this shirt to the beach, went swimming in the riptide, was bitten in the face by a shark. How awesome is that?!" 
38_9_R1SB3WSQOUEZHD	I'm thinking about getting them as party favors :)
38_11_R3NUFQ1YR73NQA	"If you are in to homeopathy and want to use such toxins as Poison ivy and belladonna on your beloved pet, then this book is for you. Mine is in the trash can."
38_12_R2Q2Z1IS0WGMUW	"The real story is the sensual appetite of these two lovers. They achieve physical satisfaction in the vertical, horizontal, dorsal and ventral positions, whether clothed or unclothed, in private or in public. Hooray for Passion! What stamina!"
38_17_R15RZOLO957R0A	"I bought this outfit for my brother, but he doesn't wear anything in black when he works out in the gym. I was going to return it and my uncle said he's try it on. He looks stunning in it, considering his age. My aunt got jealous and now I have to buy her one too!"
3_5_R1S2EXT9Y430C8	we don't have to fill their Easter baskets anymore as we told them the Easter bunny was killed by Amazon.
38_16_RMLTK41BPZJSL	"But these plastic ""speakers"" were actually worse - I couldn't yank them out of the audio jack fast enough. The bass sounds like two hamsters coughing in a milk carton. Somewhere at HP there's a product manager with a bright future ahead of him... as a busboy in the Adirondacks."
39_1_R39ZFKP7TVWUB2	"Imagine Kitty Kelley as a political reporter, with her unnamed sources and her dubious methods. Now imagine she's a total nutbar, someone hanging onto reality with one last cuticle as she rants, frothing, at the one man she believes responsible for her downfall. If you believe Bill Clinton is Satan, you're going to say ""10! 10 plus!"" If you have any capacity for rational thought and skepticism, you'll discard this book like a used tissue. Let my sacrifice of brain cells not go in vain -- pass this one up."
39_2_RON6WJEKSDZDE	"This Stuff is the Spanish Fly for Koala Bears! Well this one ain't original. I can't believe that men would pay for something that they have in their cupboard. I mean all you need is a little corn starch thrown up in your britches to freshen up. Now mind you when I was used to herd billy goats on foot I would put so much starch on my whatnots that I would have a fresh batch of chocolate chip muffins in my drawers at the end of the day. So maybe this stuff is worth the price if you want a Koala Bear to lick your junk"
39_5_R3VCV8DOUR5MLZ	"My My! How clever and original, my Dad dispenses bathroom wisdom with a lot of foul language, It's just the funniest thing, It's so original and new! If you enjoy hanging out in the restroom at interstate rest areas, bars or gas stations you will love this book!"
39_6_R2SFL0OZOER4C	It becomes mission impossible to do a lot of the simplest things I could do in CS4. Plus it would be nice if it didn't crash every other hour. And I'm running off a high performance computer.
39_16_RV8NRTMB2NT6X	"And a love shield? Yeah, I like Lily Potter too, but I would try to come up with something original for my fourth novel, not something that's already been done by JK Rowling. And since when was Bella's love her strongest human trait? Her closed mind, yes, love shield, no."
39_18_R31RBERHXS8NVD	"Okay, I've read the other reviews that call this publication shallow, lacking in depth, geared toward young teenagers, etc. I guess if you are looking for twenty page, in-depth technical articles that delve into every minute neutron of a particular subject, then yes, this publication might not be what you're looking for. But, if you're a regular, average, ordinary guy like me (who would not understand those deep, brainy articles anyway) and you are looking for an entertaining, informative view onto what's new and what's cool, I think you'll be pleased. Very pleased! Take, for example, a couple of recent issues (see the date of when this review was written). Last month was focused on the future of personal aviation and the people behind the effort to make personal flight more available and affordable, and about the aircrafts they are inventing. Fascinating! Now, can I run out and build myself a prototype after reading the articles? Ummm, no. Do I know a whole lot more about an incredibly fun subject then I did before? Yes! This month's issue focuses on similar theme: The future of personal space travel and the idea of a space-hotel. When you're done reading it will you be able to build a rocket and fly to the moon? Of course not. But it's informative and educational to the exact level I would want it to be... just enough to make me aware, enlightened, and entertained. So to all the non-nerds, non-rocket scientists, and non-brainiacs who want a scientific publication by the people, for the people, I think your yearly subscription money will be well spent."
39_8_R39IMEITQKZXV	"I loved my Laptop Steering Wheel Desk so much I got one for my 90yr old mother. She is an avid crossword puzzle fan and now she can work on them while she is driving back and forth from bingo at the senior center. One cautionary note be careful of those jerks that stop at yellow lights, my poor mother rear ended one and the airbag drove the desk back into her stomach which ruptured her spleen, well after a short down time I'm glad to say she is back on the road and cranking out those NY Times crosswords once again."
39_11_R39W6U2QQX8HQ9	"""I wanted to like this game. I really did. I read the reviews beforehand and I looked at the screenshots. I ordered the game. I even read that this is from the same people who made the King's Field series--I love King's Field. I hate this game."" ""Well, about halfway into the game I accidentally cast God's Wrath in the middle of the Nexus (the main area). I had just purchased the spell. Well it hit a vendor. A very important one that happens to store all of my gear. Guess what? There's no way to undo that. Now he just attacks me any time I get near him. Sure, I could kill him, but I would not be able to store my gear or retrieve my stored gear."" ""Finally, you'll die. You'll die quite a bit. You'll die after spending a half an hour trying to get to a boss only to start over again."""
39_13_R32WCS1MAW89SQ	"When I took it from the box I didn't know anything about the shirt's magic powers or special abilities one reviewer described as being ""woven from the same material as Chuck Norris' beard"" made my heart leap. I will be replacing my body armor with TWM. I feel that not only will TWM provide me with better ballistic protection, but it will also be much cooler during the upcoming summer heat."
40_2_R28P9HR5F0KVQ0	I think this is the stuff they put in doorways to squeeze fat people out. I love this lube!
40_3_R3G327TZJH68QK	"'product description does not indicate that the product must be in the water to function' 'it appears this product would work fine if your vessel was sinking'"
40_4_R1NAVIYXOXR0Z8	"I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie."
40_18_R2TUIUEI90X8AY	"I have been fasting, on water alone, for 17 days now, and I plan to withdraw to consumption again when my body tells me I should. On every page, the wealth of Colbert's ignorance astounded me. Huh? Equal how? In calories? In antioxidants? In fiber? In phytonutrients? In KILOBYTES? In toxins? If you want anything concerning religion, better fast and pray before reading this quack. He's just telling us what his grandma told him what Benny Hinn told her what Jesus told him what the Father told Him."
40_20_R2C5BW2E6SA0DD	"I am a tortured soul...No one understands me...my dad and mom force me to clean my room, force me to do my homework...etc., etc...woe is me...I listen to korn to get me through the long, harsh days of high school/junior high, and to get me through the long nights of my parents making me do my homework...the only people that understand me are in the band korn... Seriously though, I don't understand why this album is praised so much. What did it do for anybody besides making 15 year old, zit faced kids depressed (for the most part), and the execs. who marketed this product so brilliantly? Some argue that this album pioneered a wave of new music. Even though this is somewhat (not entirely) true, what did it pioneer??? It pioneered Nu-Metal...hands down one of the worst genre's of music (with the exception of a few bands)."
40_8_R3OM4498WOIZ93	"The secret to become rich is easy, Make a none working(windows) product which is none existent(virtual)and make all who use it to pay multiple times for the same product(dont provide bootdiscs,instead embedded chips)."
40_9_R3U6TV48RL631Q	I'm Roger Barr and I approved of this message.
40_10_R31XVY21UMDW1C	"The only good part of this book is that it put me to sleep easily, so I got much more sleep than usual."
40_11_R1TK8KSJGEBC6B	"I do like Sandra in it, but was it an Oscar-worthy performance? No. there's a very confusing message about charity that mixes somewhere with white guilt and the ability"
40_15_RUR92SA3QP2DS	"I understand that he is planning a sequel on the mismanagement of McDonalds restaurant (hey, he buys happy meals, what more does he need to know). I didn't purchase the book, so Regnery made no money off me. But, I will consider a book by them on the revelations of the Clinton's White House gardener, or pastry chef when those books become available. I'll bet you that Bill once callously pulled a petal off a rose in the White House garden, and you can only imagine what he did with the custard from the White House eclairs!!"
40_16_R1BQWK2R2YLFI7	"Let me first say that I haven't taken this shirt off since i got it 8 days ago. When i wear this shirt I fell like the incredible hulk on ice skates. Women love it and business has picked up. In this down economy we need all the help we can get and this shirt delivers. I don't know what will happen once i wash it - but i can only imagine that with a little age and wear on the shirt, my power and grace will be enhanced even more."
41_15_R3LHO12RQ29V2S	"I don't know what kind of hair this trimmer is supposed to cut, but it don't cut mine. You can stick it in your nose until the battery dies (which actually is not such a long time), and you won't cut as much hair as you could with a pair of scissors in 10 seconds. There's just no comparison. This trimmer makes a lot of noise and painfully tugs on hairs, but it's all sound and fury. Nothing much happens. So, I'd say that unless you have tremors or something, you'd be much better off with a $3-pair of manicure scissors. Do the job in 10 seconds."
41_6_R2UTR08RZ5IKF8	"When Big Bobby Ray told me there was a foxy lady's version of that legendary 3 Wolves shirt I just had to get one for myself. My hands trembled when I opened the package and I couldn't get over that lovely Trailer Lavendar color and the almost air-brushed quality of the wolves. I cranked up the Kid Rock, put on my best cut-offs (you know the kind, that ride up just enough in the front and back) gave the bleach blond hair a fresh squirt of Aquanet (roots be darned) and told that Bobby Ray we were loading up in the Trans Am and to let that coon tail fly."
41_7_R1IAWTWQOR40AL	"Since mafia hooligans stole all of our equipment to sell to Kyrgyzstani rebels, we have been looking for a low-cost alternative to the T-80 Main Battle Tank. After successful trials at a facility in Moscow, this so-called ""Badonkadonk"" was approved for use in the Chechen theatre. Initial reports were favorable, but then somebody noticed that the tank lacked a cannon, treads, and armor, and possessed the engine of an electric bicycle. It did, however, have an excellent audio system, but this failed to compensate for its disappointing 100% mortality rate. Recommended only for use against Lithuanians."
41_8_R1UKHGFAMYVR6L	"I actually don't know who I pity more: me, for reading this book when Chinese water torture might have been preferable, the editor for having to fix it from whatever level of absolute hopelessness it was in to the level of suckiness that it became,"
41_18_R9984FEVIXUV4	Is the paper it's printed on two-ply? I can't think of any other purpose to which I would put them....
41_19_R120PWEW3BJRRA	"he Kevin Spacey character could never exist; talking to another professor to get the kid out of an exam and give him an A. What!? And the casino scenes; oh the casino scenes... Those idiotic hand signals? C'mon, the cocktail waitresses would've picked up on those... Lawrence Fishbourne beating the tar out of people he caught counting!? I don't think so. Nix the idiotic characterization of the kid who was making hundreds of thousands counting yet who insisted on stealing everything from bottles of booze to pens from the maid cart, and the entire team who was scared to try it without Spacey's corrupt professor at the helm... Uh, HELLO?- these are supposed to be our best and brightest, Mr. Producers...)"
41_20_R3ONOXKTFEV2JU	"My nether regions are now nearly the length of a damn football field. Yeah, thanks ALOT! I can barely shoehorn myself into a pair of pants and when I finally do, I walk around with a TENTPOLE bulging out the front. Talk about uncomfortable!"
42_1_R2HXVIKJY27SHC	"""The Zenith Men's Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch or Z.M.D.X.T.B.T.C.M. as I like to call it, is by far the most awesome watch. Chuck Norris riding into the Super Bowl on the back of Godzilla and round house kicking the crowd is no where near as awesome as this priceless poon magnet. When I was just moments from sending my $100k to some needy neo-hippie help group, I stumbled onto this gem. It was like the heavens opened and Jesus himself appeared with this same watch on. I mean how can you not follow Jesus when he's rocking a watch of this caliber. So I asked ""What would Jesus do?"" Jesus pimp smacked me and said ""Forget those hippies, buy the watch!"" I was like ""HECK YEAH."" I busted out my Discover card and bought this rocking piece of art. I mean its art but its also practical too. Like when I take my summer trips to the Marianas Trench, I have no more worries that I am going to miss Tea Time back on the yacht, because water ruined my watch again. It can withstand the immense pressures of the deep due to the wicked awesome titanium. Deep seas, cant beat this. Bullets cant beat this. Heck, I can deflect cruise missiles and the apocalypse. With a watch like this you don't need to tell time, you tell people what time it is."" (I posted the whole thing, because everything in it is sarcastic.)"
42_13_R2EZFYE6A7OPKH	If all Hollywood can come up with is this crap then lets go back to looking at carvings on caves!
42_14_R11IWXF21P3Q2Y	"Sex For Dummies: I saw this book while perusing Amazon, and could not believe it. Not only is this company marketing their products to mentally-challenged people, but they are doing it right out in the open! Surely the mentally-handicapped, who oftentimes work menial jobs for little or no pay, need their money more than any other group? But no, this soulless corporation keeps churning out their books designed to take our slower brothers' and sisters' last dime. How exactly are the books ""For Dummies?"" I'm not sure; perhaps they have large, colorful pictures or have scratch-and-sniff components. No matter, the point still stands that this company is trying to take advantage of the mentally-impared and must be stopped."
42_16_RPORPWO932O8R	""" Their solution? ""Please wait a moment after each button click, to give the game time to respond"". Erm, sure; I'll just politely ask 200 Orcs to stop attacking me while Aragorn takes a moment to respond, no problem. """
42_3_RF1RV5NC65CPR	"My children are always complaining about eating that or saying that. It get's seriously annoying and Mighty putty claims to fix leaks, so I put it to the test and now I can drive hour long car rides with little to no problem."
42_9_R3H4W0SZ67G8YL	"Did you analyze the water or just making generalizations (""it certainly removes harmful bacterial, cysts, and protozoa."") Yeah, thought so."
42_11_R1HNFW27RW2MWJ	"Towards the end of the book, she discusses the pregnant waddle, and reasons that all fat people waddle a bit anyway. She sympathizes with her husband for not being attracted to her. After all, you wouldn't want to sleep with someone as fat as you, right? And she confides that her maternity wardrobe ran all the way up to a (gasp) size ten! The horror!"
43_2_R26KB6MZVFQYJB	"This is truly a spectacular movie in the tradition of Showgirls and Battlefield Earth. It is one of those movies in which you know the people both on and off screen actually THINK they are making a quality product, but the result is so horrifying as to make it magnificent."
43_20_RDTLJVXRF3RI8	"I'm fortunate enough to be haunted by a ghost that is actually made out of electricity. The EMF Detector has consequently proved effective at tracking down Moaning Electro Horror Child even when she's hiding in hard to spot places like the cupboard where we keep the Christmas decorations. Highly recommended. EDIT: I am upset to report that as a result of successfully capturing and banishing above ghost, it has returned in anger to horribly slay my family. I now wish I had never purchased the device. Not recommended."
43_7_R2DK1R3WC73V3Q	"All my life, I've been looking for the one thing that would turn me to religion...and BEHOLD! I found it... Instead of boooooring pictures of the Last Supper and the probable locations of holy sites, I get AWESOME pictures of crashes and and cars going in circles! I could practically smell the burning rubber and see the girls in halter tops firing cheap t-shirts out of a cannon at me...all the while learning who begat Bathsheba! (SPOILER ALERT: It was Eliam) There is no better feeling than cracking open a six-pack on a Sunday morning and sitting down and reading my Stock Car bible. Because if there's one thing religion needs...it's definitely DRAFTING!"
43_19_ROBJ73V0UOQTO	"... God forbid I move it maybe 20 feet away from the base - forget it! I am out of range (and the monitor doesn't let me forget it - which is good - but I don't feel like I should be out of range at this distance). Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this monitor to anyone, unless you enjoy not sleeping - not due to a baby crying, but rather your monitor beeping! ..."
43_8_RPYUIUC7N0LS9	"My claim has been ""escalated"" twice and a WEEK later I still haven't heard anything."
43_11_R2H7WA2W16CGDL	"Ashlee can play instuments for the record, I've even seen a picture of her with a guitar which proves it. Also you bitch about her lip synching. Well LOL everybody does it LOL. You should get this, but ignore talentless poser ""singers"" such as Luciano Pavarotti and Placido Domingo."
43_14_R3FBP57HSD4Z3V	"The most embarrassing thing is that I'm thinking that British people think that Americans demanded this. Who's going to be doing the next special, Dr. Phil? ""Oh-kaaay, here comes the alee-gaytor, it's prey tries to run, but that neeeever works! HAW HAW HAW!"" Don't get this. Get the real version."
43_15_R2YUYL4MJRASKV	More contemptable garbage from the likes of another extreme Conservative. The majority of the book doesn't even contain facts. It reads more like a trashy magazine with the same amount of false allegations that themselves amount to nothing. Perhaps a revised copy of the book should be released and retitled: Hell to Pay: The Same Old Right-Wing Story of SENATOR Hillary Rodham Clinton.
43_16_R134C9F198MHN3	"He takes such a stupid subject as a police dog movie, eats it and then craps out a police dog diamond. There's just too much to say about this movie. The characters are amazing, the script is beyond fantastic, the story has an awesome pace and is truly believable and the special effects and action sequences will blow your mind. Of course, there's also the Chuckster, ah Chuck with your wonderful beard and fantastic haircuit, you dazzle again. There is almost nothing better in this world than putting on some Yanni and turning on a Chuck Norris movie like Top Dog and getting lost in the amazing world that Chuck Norris shapes for us. This is a must buy for any fan of fine film, it's definitely in the top 3 greatest movies of all time list."
44_2_R346THH403TN26	"I was given the Three Wolf Moon shirt as a gift for my departure from my current job assignment. Immediately upon donning the shirt, I was attacked by mobs of women at the pub. My wife was actually trampled to death by the sudden rush of women. Fortunately, the 3 wolves soothed my grief . . . and taught me to fly."
44_5_R2WU0E5QFJ73TO	"I understand that most of the reviews are fake and I would like to say that while I find them all very enjoyable and humorous, there is a something that a real customer of this product feels should be known. I purchased 10 of the rabbits for the purpose of making hare jerky (a tasty treat) when I was overcome with the desire to indulge in a bit of rabbit meat before the smoking process. Giving into my guilty urges, I took one rabbit for my own personal pre-jerky consumption and proceeded to eat the entire animal whole (I do not own a stove, only a plastic box and some firewood for smoking things, hence it was uncooked). After my little personal rabbit fiesta, I laid down to digest the food. This was a mistake. Within two hours, I had never felt worse. I used the trusty search engine ""Bing"" to do some armchair medical research while clutching a trashcan in the most horrendous gastric distress you can imagine (I do not have health insurance so I did not call the hospital). Quickly, I found out that a side effect to eating rabbit was ""protein poisoning,"" a situation that arises when lean meat is eaten. It is also known as ""rabbit starvation"" because rabbit meat contains almost no fat whatsoever. Apparently, consumption of large amounts of protein with little or no carbohydrates or fat is dangerous. Well you imagine how much that tickled me angry. All ready to write an angry letter of protest to the rabbit meat industry about their marketing of a dangerous foodstuff, I stumbled to my writing desk but alas, I only made it 3 feet before collapsing in pain. The next 5 hours were like a blur as I lay on the floor writhing in my own waste seeing people and things from the past and quite possibly the future. I have experimented with drugs back in the day and let me tell you, nothing came as close to disconnecting me from the universe in the worst way possible, as this. No one ever wants to experience protein poisoning, I promise you. At about 10 in the evening I came to and used a chair and the wall to help pull myself off of the floor. I still felt sick and I went back to my computer to see if there was a cure. Suddenly it hit me, I needed to eat other macronutrients! I remembered the tub of lard I had been saving in the fridge and stumbled across my apartment. The pain only grew worse. I remembered reading that bodybuilders eat lots of protein. I have no idea how they do it. It must be horrible for them. My vegan friend has always said that anything over 20 grams of a protein a day is overkill and I'm inclined to believe him now. He is the healthiest person I know, he is very skinny but he doesn't have visible muscle (which he says is the result of toxins and not enough body fat to properly survive). I finally reached my fridge and reached in for the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter container with my stockpiled lard. I quickly shoveled it into my mouth and wouldn't you believe it but it only made me feel worse! I passed out again, the cold air of the fridge blowing onto me. I awoke three days later (according to my watch) at 7 at night. The fridge had apparently preserved my body as it fought the proteins for the first night but now my electricity was off because my bill was due yesterday. It didn't matter, my body had apparently started to win the fight around 2 nights ago and now I am pretty much back to normal. However, I SINCERELY DO NOT RECOMMEND RABBIT MEAT as it can potentially kill you, as it nearly did me. Five stars - 1 for nearly killing me - 1 slightly chewy - 1 no head + 1 made great jerky = 3 stars"
44_8_R3INOB4OWD4Z0U	'couldn't light up a dandelion let alone a tree or address sign'
44_19_R1EY878UNDA2LB	"The book lacks a little thing called substance. None of the characters are well written and have as much substance as a toilet brush,"
44_20_R2GNWDAB5ZQ960	"As a Grey, I found this book to be entirely slanderous of me and my people and our mission on Earth. We are not here to ""abduct"" you, perform horrible experiments and make you doubt the reality of your own petty, wormlike existences."
44_14_R2N0E6KJEWHVDB	"Laura Ingraham has effectively ridiculed our Pompous President. Since most of his actions are too outrageous for simple reporting It's about time that someone told the real truth about our Marxist-in-residence at the White House."
44_16_RP4FYWZF3NQY2	It's been found to cause retardation in lab rats. Avoid it at all costs.
45_1_R34H10JAG0HI81	"""If Tori Spelling ever had anything remotely interesting on her mind (which is debatable), she has now officially run out of thoughts."" """"Uncharted TerriTORI"" is basically a big puff pastry, filled with air and flakes -- and reading it is a lot like listening to someone nattering about the minutiae of their uninteresting life."""
45_4_R2S0DJ52DDQGF0	A perfect date movie: you'll miss absolutely nothing of merit if you make out in the back row instead of watching the film.
45_5_R1V1Q34RG8BFYO	"Make no mistake, this is a candy bar masquarading as a nutrition bar. I found the taste and texture so awful I had to spit it out. To the delight of my squirrel friends, I tossed the rest of the bar outside where they promptly gobbled it up."
45_8_R1GQZ8937I00FF	"""Killing talk radio"" is actually reviving the Fairness Doctrine where the media were required to allow alternate points of view. Ronald Reagan killed this doctrine, allowing guys like Rush Limbaugh to spew their distortions and right wing propaganda nonstop for three hours every day of the week, with no one to challenge them. Is allowing alternate points of view a bad thing? Funny how the media is supposedly controlled by the liberals, but it is the conservatives who are so afraid of having alternate points of view. Don't waste your time on this trash."
45_9_R141NOWB9MB5HE	"Do you feel your child is about to go into the world without all the ""necessary"" skills? Do you feel your loved one isn't adequately prepared to face life's most daunting challenges? Have you ever wondered what to do if you're stuck on a raising drawbridge? Are you so paranoid that you look for an escape to every situation? If you answered yes to any and/or all of these questions, then buy this book, NOW! This is your bible to every worst-case situation that life may throw at you, and more."
45_11_R2CJG33EAQ926K	"And to think, the wooden one I have always used could be replaced! NO MORE SPLINTERS!"
45_12_R2XG4TBT237EDZ	"I found this t-shirt in the alley behind the Kmart near my car. The tiger on left gives stink-eyes to anyone who asks me if i'm leaving my parking spot. The second reason i have yet to remove this shirt is because i have now set the fashion bar too high. I can't downgrade. Where am I going to find something as striking and visually pleasing to wear on my laundry day?"
45_17_R2RHPEBF7R7VGL	"human beings are inheritantely corrupt (thanks alot) * peace can only be achieved through catastrophe, in other words, without apocalyse or apocalyptical events, there can only be war (which I only agree to the degree that if you kept trying to convince people this, the religious fundies ought to be VERY HAPPY when they see this film) * There has to be a god-like scapegoat for it to be happen, and it's gonna be American (sorry Jesus Christ), and he will not actually be responsible for the apocalypse, only scapegoating it (ergo: if some God-like creature destroyed the entire human race, it's probably not his fault but corrupt human beings') last but not least that made me most angry: *women: if you got pregnant from rape, you should ALWAYS have the kid, because the kid will always turn out to be the best thing that ever happen to you. interesting but whether or not the graphic novel perserves this idea, the movie certainly does not. Why? because the watchmen (in the movie) who actually fought the crimes either did it to appease their own vanity (to be like pharohs, to bring divine justice) or did it for thrills (which is like most of them). Hey apocalypse is coming, what better way to spend your Last Days then to have sex and kick some butt? Dude I would totally go for it."
46_5_R2TG3OZ8XLMUCA	"Ioriginally bought workout pants made out of France's flag, but whenever my workout partner Hans would come over, for some reason they would turn completely white, a breeze would come out of nowhere, and they'd start flapping/waving in his direction. Anyway, since I got these star spangled beauties, I threw the other ones away. And the best part is, I can wash them in hot water to get them really clean, because these colors don't run."
46_6_R1ZBWIKUHVHG1G	"An unknown author tries to ""uncover"" the Tiger Woods story? We all know what happened that night. Steve Helling; try getting a real story next time."
46_10_REOS7V68HRVV6	"Immediately upon seeing the infomercial about the Snuggie, I was ecstatic! I have been too stupid to use a normal blanket my whole life. I often find myself violently exasperated when I am forced to answer the phone and my blanket falls off one shoulder, leaving me achingly cold. I mean, why are blankets so slippery???? People have only been using blankets in one form or another since the dawn of man.....and they are just so damn inconvenient! I have often expressed frustration with a society that forces us to conform to such barbaric notions at the ""blanket."" Well, never again, my friend. Never again."
46_12_R1UNQM7FPDC0MG	"Last time I looked, most great fiction was not written by a committee."
46_16_R3440GDB9EIBYW	"Ridiculous? Awful? Cause of severe eye-bleeding? I probably even managed to make it through half the episodes without knowing or caring who was doing what before I gave up and sold it on here to some poor misguided soul."
46_17_R1QASQKKQX7OXN	"When I listen to this I feel soooooo deep. Like Amy lee, I am a tortured artist and too complicated and intelligent for the world to understand. That's why I'm anti-authority and anti-mainstream."
46_18_R3VSDIWI5QI269	"He does complain that the mask is hot and cumbersome but his words are muffled and well, easy to ignore."
47_2_RR1CGE3IGLDN	"and all because the stupid Autobots dropped Sam 25km away from Optimus spare parts!! I mean....could they be more stupid?? They could have left him near, but NO, it was a battle field, and he was defenseless. THE CONSPIRANCY WAKO GIVING ORDERS TO THE ARMY - WTF??? Since when a civilian gives orders to the armada for using a secret weapon??? 5-THE FLASHBACK OF THE MACHINE - we can see how the old autobots were having their AA meetings, and lots of caveman around it..and it was all surrounded by mountains....turns out thats Egypt...ya...there are so many mountains on Egypt today."
47_3_RL3H8QC95ZTPD	"Ideal material for the culturally sensitive preschool activity time... No, wait, I'm being sarcastic..."
47_4_RP36XPONLM4YU	"It is a phone, not an operating control for the space shuttle. imagine you are in the thirld world (the phone is designed to sell in poor asian and african markets), you put together a month worth of savings to buy this phone. then while carrying out your daily labors the phone cracks, which is very easy to do...can you imagine the heartbreak."
47_5_R2KH2KZQVYEARZ	"Comes w/ ""free toy"" too - a tiny little piglet figurine. How demented is that."
47_8_R2Q3ZC5KWIH5LC	"""Culture Warrior"" feels more like the worries and observations of someone who is watching history pass by and would like to turn the clock back. O'Reilly caters to the fears and worries of the conservative right by assuring them that we're the ""good guys"" and that Iraq is a just war(of course Mr. O'Reilly has never served a day in combat or actually participated in an armed conflict). ""Culture Warrior"" is a surprisingly short book, composed of much material from ""The O'Reilly Factor"" TV show, so it's not a very serious study to begin with, not because of the length, but because of the detail and quality of the content. At times O'Reilly comes across as one of those old-fashioned preachers who see Satan everywhere and must cast him out of your living room and television set. He taps into typical conservative slogans by using terms like ""we need to be warriors,"" ""you gotta fight back,"" ""Islamofascism."" He rants and raves about the key points to outdo your ""opponent"" when debating a ""Secular Progressive."" Like Buchanan, O'Reilly is shouting for an America that is quickly fading into the past, if it has not already faded. I would think a ""Culture Warrior"" would realize that cultures change, evolve, for better or worse, nothing stays the same forever. Like Ann Coulter, much of O'Reilly's prose here caters more to the elites in America, with disturbing undertones in the descriptions of ""lower class"" America. Is Bill O'Reilly really the most qualified voice to critique the merits of Hip Hop music?"
47_11_R2ILJGKKA40H39	"Announcements were being made for awesome new features like Facetime, Retina Display, etc. etc. and... drumroll please... a $29 piece of plastic combined with rubber that only went around the edge of the phone? Really? I mean, I understand that the back is left open for aesthetic purposes (baby got back) but I'm pretty sure that when I drop my phone (and I will drop my phone), my phone is most likely going to land on the back or the front and not on its side. So... I did a little bit of searching and this product was one the of few that took advantage of the iPhone leak (thanks to the guy who ""left it at the bar"")."
47_13_R1NU5CFPVNSXA4	"The lost generation this may have been. Judging by this book, what they really were missing was personality, a sense of purpose, and the ability to conceive of even a single shred of worthwhile, memorable drama."
47_15_R20BTQ7K563AAX	"Like many suburban homeowners, I like to kill and eat the wild animals that populate my backyard. To keep it sporting, I hunt naked, with my teeth and long sharpened fingernails as my only weapons. I've feasted on squirrel, raccoon, vole and numerous songbirds. But no matter how long I lay spread eagle and motionless in the hot noonday sun, I have never been able to outwit and catch any of the plump and juicy rabbits that hop just outside my reach and then bolt for the woods when I leap forward with a blood-curdling shriek. I have chased them at a dead run through the yards of the many unoccupied homes that surround mine but the pursuit always ends in frustration. But no more, thanks to Amazon. Every week, I order a fresh whole rabbit and affix it to a remote control car that is operated by one of my children. This way, I get the thrill of the hunt, and when the car's batteries are exhausted, I can leap upon it, bury my teeth into the rabbit's soft flesh and perform my ritual victory dance right there in the Walgreen's parking lot."
47_16_R22P2L5O7XL7N8	"When I saw this image, I knew it would put my neighbor's patriotic lawn display of painting the rusted car on his front lawn red white and blue, and draping his trailer with American flags stolen from the memorial cemetery, to total shame. I'm going to wear it while sitting in front of my home in an inflatable kid's pool while knocking back the cold ones all summer just to rub it in his face!"
47_17_RJKN10QT2VSTW	"""Putting this movie in your player can clear a room faster than a Fire Alarm."" ""You'd be better off watching your toenails grow than punishing yourself by sitting through this mess."""
48_5_R21A9WHOH6GAWU	"No backlight or glowing keys, so operation in the dark is difficult. This wouldn't be a big issue if the buttons were better laid out and had some clues by touch to clarify their functions. The giant Stop button is positioned between the Play and Pause buttons, and all three are the same large size and shape. It's also between the Skip Back and Skip Forward buttons, horizontally, putting it right in the middle of all the most-used buttons."
48_9_R2W9YE93X1C7F0	This is a great mask to strike fear into those around you - an essentiality for the every day rapist or mugger
48_10_RS9O7LG80S140	The writing gets worse in the Twilight saga. It makes VC Andrews (if you are old enough to remember those books) read like high literary prose. But what teenaged girl can resist this plot of an unearthly gorgeous vampire (who is also wildly rich) in love with a mortal girl dealing with high school? Apparently not many.
48_11_R3I77FW8GZLB6I	"When I first saw this T-Shirt, I think I cried for at least an hour. It is possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and I've seen the sunrise at the Grand Canyon, so I know a thing or two about beautiful things. I bought myself three of this shirt, and one for all of my family members' and friends' upcoming birthdays. All I can say is, I plan on wearing this shirt everyday, alternating between the three and doing my laundry every week or so, so that I never have to wear another shirt ever again. I was referred to this shirt by an aqquaintance, who told me how many women he picked up at Peep's, the local biker bar, with it. I can't wait to get mine!"
30_17_RKT07YYORZMZE	"Then there was that Friday, the terrible Friday that would ruin every Friday for the rest of my life. The door opened, but there was no bouyant greeting - no cold jug against the back of my arm. There was no Tuscan Whole Milk in his right hand, nor his left. There came no kiss. I watched as he sat down in a kitchen chair to remove his shoes. He wore no fatigue, but also no smile. I didn't speak, but turned back to the beans I had been stirring. I stirred until most of their little shrivelled skins floated to the surface of the cloudy water. Something was wrong, but it was vague wrongness that no amount of hard thought could give shape to."
49_14_R16R2OQYL10YD	"No way, Bra! Tim and Eric is a whack rip off of the Jim and Derrick show, fool. Let me break it down for you, yo. Jim and Derrick be hella tight , yo. And stuff. Like hot chicks and hella mad whacks! Peace, bra. Oh no you didn't! ha ha! Peace. You just got reviewed!"
49_10_R3GH0IZ332MQ4D	"""Wouldn't this be the greatest buy in the world?"""
49_1_R1SHGTG8GX6JKY	"Ok, in reality this thing is a piece of junk. Much thinner than they make it sound, no closure for the back, and you look like a member of Heaven's Gate. All they need to send with it is a bottle of Red Kool-Aid and you are set for your 100% authentic Cult experience!"
49_15_RHVDOF8FL92KM	"So if you're looking for extreme disappointment, look no further, you can find it in this book."
49_4_R3FE59I3E8QX8W	"This baby doesn't cry, doesn't eat. All it wants is a smoke. And what's wrong with that? By the time I get home from another hellish day at the office that's all I want. Why not start early and learn those addictive coping habits before they get old enough to rebel."
34_6_R2WH1O4QVDL3O5	Today is Valentine's Day and I hoped that a little splash of this would drive my lady wild. But alas... I sleep alone again. Also I keep hearing all this howling outside my bedroom.
49_19_R3TP2YNW3X41D8	"Daughter makes fun of beauty pageant contestants by doing a strip tease to the tune of Rick James' ""Superfreak."" Une vraie piece de restistance. Ha, more like a piece de merde. Don't waste your money on this waste of talent."
49_7_R2WJ2OILNNPHLH	"I bought this camera for my deployment to Iraq. It was in my cargo pants pocket one day I took it out and the lens was cracked and the silver trim ring had fallen off. I don't know how it broke but it did. Anyways when I got home I contacted Kodak to fix it. They said ""Customer induced damage to the camera voids the warranty"" they want $63 + $10.95 + tax to fix it OR I can send it to them and they will take 15% off a new camera if bought from the Kodak store. No thanks, first and last time I'll buy a Kodak camera. It's going to be a nice paperweight."
49_6_R1BZLL6EWQKQS9	"I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate"
49_3_R179MIQE2DZP0	"This is, without a doubt, the best black shirt with an angry monochrome dragon perched on two natural pillars on a cliff that I have ever seen. I know that when I get married, this is the undershirt I'll wear. The amount of awesome displayed on your chest canvas while wearing this shirt, obviously a shirt given to man by Zeus himself, is currently impossible to calculate using our current mathematical constructs."
49_9_R2KBR712RJ1MVC	Those are just a few of its virtues or flaws depending whether you have the fortune of literacy and the gift of sight or the gift of hearing should you decide to have this masterpiece read to you.
49_2_R3K5ZH61DYQ5L3	"many viewers have been frustrated by it. ""Frenzy"" is widely regarded as by far the worst episode of the series so far, for various reasons."
50_12_R24XCD6S26ID9C	"The more wolves, the better. Yeah, and why don't you paint more angels on The Sistene Chapel, and correct the Mona Lisa's smile?"
50_2_R1ZMQDIOL74E1N	"This is a fitness system. Who needs fitness systems the most? Heavy people. Guess what? I got on the balance board to be weighed and it told me I was too heavy to use it."
50_6_R2VHNRY63VQFRG	"This is a very clever book on developing speed reading. The author disguised it as a nonfiction account of the ""liberal"" news media, but as I discovered, if you only read the pages in which the author provides verifiable facts to support his reasoning, then you can finish the book before moving from the library book shelf. Imagine, two hundred pages in five minutes! I almost got finger blisters turning the pages so quickly. I learned years ago in college that when reading a non-fiction book, other than, let's say, most memoirs, that if the book is without reference materials, a bibliography, or notes that allows the reader to verify the information, then the book is most likely a sham. ""Bias"" has zero references that would allow the curious reader to independently authenticate the writer's claims. I also did not notice at least semi-complete transcripts to allow for the writer's alleged quotes to be understood in context. The author is strictly operating on a ""trust me"" basis. If that's good enough for you, then I have a 70's VW to sell you (only driven once, really would I lie!)."
50_9_R19SWXCKT8OA27	"This is pure hardcore punk people. This is the type of stuff that your parents can't listen to because it's too xtreme for them to handle. People bring names of unknown posers like John Petrucci, Jason Becker, Michael Romeo and Al di Meola, but fact is they suck because I've never heard of them (because they don't play their songs on TRL. That means they are a load of ass). this rocks almost as much as Ashlee Simpson"
50_10_R2ODWMCUW2MM04	"I bought this helmet to use for a second rider on my motorcycle. It's only good for that if you don't like your rider. It is not very well made, it runs small and the shell feels like it would crack if you dropped it. Didn't give me a whole lot of confidence that it would protect someones head in an accident. But considering the price, I guess you really can't expect to much. I would only recommend you use this helmet if you are riding a scooter or moped that doesn't get up to highway speeds."
50_18_R123TZMYW3ACMP	"As a history teacher at a high school full of unruly teenaged cretins, I am a firm believer of corporal punishment. My classes are full of idiotic punks that would constantly interrupt my compelling lectures. They'd shoot spitballs at me while I was expounding upon the Japanese Genpei Wars."
50_11_R2LBX3RDQVRJSG	"The only reason I read the entire book was because I just had to know HOW bad this book could get. Quite bad, indeed, it reminds of a train wreck: so bad you just can't look away."
51_20_R3DBA1R6YPXOJH	""That UN survey that states cuba as having a better health care system than us is on the survey, however the UN does not investigate countrie's health care systems, they simply take down whatever the country decides to report. Hmmmm....why should we believe what a communist dictator has to say about his own country?" "Those people that Moore shows in his film that have the high medical bills, you know the ones that are the helpless victims of our ""disgusting, greed driven society"". You will notice that all the people are middle class individuals with big screen tvs, 3 cars in the driveway, and an outstanding mortgage for a house that they cannot afford. Hmmmmm.....and im supposed to feel sorry for their utter stupidity and lack of regard for their own responsibility?""
51_15_R11FXBR4VQIVL4	"If you buy it, prepare to throw it soon."
51_14_R22TEMV2FB5OD	""For me, and many others, this is a return to the boldness yesteryear." " Does David Liebe Heart tear at your heartstrings every time he opens his beautifully shaped mouth? A thousand times, yes.""
51_8_R1PLYO2Z4XNNUL	"Anyone whos truly knows muzak knows that Lindsay Lohan is one of the most talented young musakians in the world today. She has proved that many times. She also proved that she is one of the best guitarists every in the contempary cinema classic Freaky Friday. Have posers like Al Di Meola had their own movies where they document their so-called "great" guitar playing?? No. Do you know why? Because they suck. The Muzak on this album is some of the best ever. Lohan along with Avril Lavigne are the two best guitar players in the world. They are better than those "classical" posers who don't look cool at all. The drumming shows wannabees like Peart and Bruford how it should be done. The bass shows self-proclaimed bass "masters" like Stu Hamm that crappy "inversions" (I don't know what that means) and lame techniques like "tapping", "counterpoint" and "slap and pop" (I have no idea what these mean either) are just crap that losers with no talent do. If you do not like this then you have bad taste"
51_5_R3V2K3R4BCRJ75	"Every important aspect of the story was by-passed for the sake of special effects. It's almost as if the screenwriter had been given a verbal summary of what the book was about, and took it from there. So many important plot points were left out or down right changed to the point that it would be impossible to even think about a sequel. It's such a shame. These stories have the "book made to movie" potential of the Potter series, or dare I say, a kids "Lord of the Rings". If someone with vision had just read the books, the money used to make it could have been so much better spent.""
51_2_R1JZM989AKI865	"Hopefully you were smarter than me and read reviews before you bought this overpriced product. Put it this way. i have seen positive feedback on this product and i'm curious if they bought it when it was a very very small wart or a d-bag share holder/company man."
51_18_RUZD2ZGU1U4O	"I wish a real asteroid had hit the set when they were shooting this."
51_6_R28SE3EWABPNOM	"... By the time we get the car seat adaptor my daughter (already born last month) will no longer need it...."
51_12_R2LC1XPC16S7FI	"If you are considering getting this trimmer, all you need to know is this: The 9 lockable length settings don't actually lock!! I tried putting it on length "3", but when I started to trim, it went down to length "2". Then I started on length 2 and it went down to length 1. Besides this, the cutting block is too far away from the thing that touches your face (not sure what it's called), so it's very hard to cut any hair at all unless you choose the length setting 3 or lower. I know all this may come as a surprise to those of you who have had success with previous Norelco trimmers, but the fact is that this thing is a serious piece of Sh_t. In my estimation, their aspirations to achieve the fancy "vacuum effect" has clouded what should be their primary goal with this device: to trim facial hair EVENLY and EFFECTIVELY! I would have given this 0 stars if it would have been an option."
51_13_RO8R2WG3YKOTG	"The overuse of the two words, "I am" became beyond tedious. Talk about a mantra that will give you a headache. Perhaps the title should have been I Am instead of The Passage? Amy can hear the virals' thoughts, as I am John, Dick, Harry... I am the former Walrus, goo goo ga joob."
51_11_RDE863F3T8TOT	"Who Needs Facts?" There isn't a single fact in this book. I repeat, NOT ONE SINGLE FACT.""
51_9_R2IV66X3ZGJ7NO	"Speaking of Beethoven, I don't know why people give him credit just because he made a bit of music when he was deaf. If you want a great musician with disabilities then go for 50 Cent."
276423_2_R1PAAQN1HJKVQM	""'Cause ya know: dose tings fall to da ground right often. Sumtimes widdout no warnin at all. An yours is such a pristine an bootiful egsample of da iPhone dat maybe youse should tink about...protectin it" "Now DIS ting, dis OtterBox: it's da BOMB, man! See, youse puts it in da cradle BACKwards, so's da face don't get all scratched by da pointy corners and junk in da offices. After a few brews, ya know,them straight lines like to play around." "And wid dis rubberized outer layer wid a hard plastic shell? I'm tellin ya- an youse can believe me- dat dis ting will protect yer bootiful iPhone from a nice fall. Maybe even a kick or two. i'm jes sayin. No need to git upset! I'm just tellin youse what wut COULD happen.""
276423_9_RBRBXDP3QTOOG	"Whenever anyone comes over to play, this is perfect. Give him the pink controller, and don't let him forget who's in charge."
276423_5_R2EMUVCSURJMC9	"I'm not what most people would call "political." I'm more into things like backpacking. But sometimes when I read something I just think, "Yep. This is pretty killer." I kind of thought that when I read this book."
276423_3_R3825IJJACAHV5	"Don't let the picture fool you, these shoes DO NOT make you jump as high as the moon. In fact, even the most highly-trained athlete wearing these shoes would only be able to jump as high as the clouds."
276423_11_R2JJD67RWE047O	"Moreso, this includes an enchanted reflector. It appears to be meant to be secured to some sort of pole, like a staff. I have secured it to my walking staff under the assumption that it protects me from evil lights, and reflects them as a harmless red glow. It's a fine idea to package both a light producer and a light consumer (shield), but nowhere is it written the form of light produced. I do hope that the enchantment is not soul-sucking and am currently testing it on a virgin's skin."
276423_1_R22I36BX67X45Y	""A 5 star product is a 1 star product if it is only good as a paperweight." "Hey, I'm a capitalist, but don't be so greedy and monopolistic about it. ""
276424_9_R2M7LNBEK8SAMM	""A failed attempt at being the first on the block with the newest thing mentality by Obi-Wan Jobs and this from the same genuises who brought their customer base the NEWTON. " "Curious, how does it feel to be an unsolicited beta-tester ?" "It is a considerably dumbed down, denuded and stripped down iphone, iguess with no phone......wow.......how inovative. ""
276425_11_R9OGOZLOROD7F	"Looking for a spooky tale to curl up to this Halloween season? Is there a glaring gap between your Stephen King and Anne Rice books on the shelf? Here's the perfect horror novel to plug it with! This is a true tale of horror and our villian is far from tactful! However, Yahweh's not a transparent, homocidal manaic. To be so would be far too predictable and I commend the author on his skillful character development."
276425_6_R3OXIL2161A2TT	"I don't know where all of these people are getting their ratings from. Did we read the same book? I COULD HAVE WRITTEN IT BETTER! I wouldn't recommend it, but if you want the "cliff notes" to the case, this is the book for you."
276425_4_R1OOJU7JJJKJN0	"Would have been nice if the stilts could accommodate multiple/varying heights. Seems to be only two settings...if not just right for your child's height, the stilts are a little awkward to use. If you have two children of different heights, you have to change the settings...which cannot be done just by 'clicking a button'."
276425_8_R1M00P4LX428ET	"That day, in it's entirety, was wonderful. At least 50 people I had never spoken to before somehow knew my name. These were people on the street, even. At the coffee shop, the girl who normally had the demeanor of a disgruntled, middle-age cafeteria worker actually gave me free coffee and tried to flirt with me. Not just to flirt, but a stumbly sort of flirting that only comes about when desire has made you lose your grasp of language structure."
276425_7_R3FE4XDZAXDT31	"We purchased two droids with high hopes. My husband loves his. I do not. After going back everyday for a week to Verizon they are telling me that my finger tempature is to high and doesn't work well with the touchscreen pad. Funny I'm typing this on my new IPad. I'm taking back my droid and I've already gone back to my Blackberry. Bummer. Very disappointed Sad in LA"
276425_3_R20MPVFZ73BAVA	""It's all about the characters! It's not about answering any of the questions that were teasingly introduced for 5 years. It's all about, you know, who winds up shagging who, just like every other vapid soap opera on tv. I mean come on people, do you REALLY care what the island was supposed to be in the end? Isn't the intellectual thrill ride that is the Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliet relationship roller coaster far better to have all the answers to?" "Season 6 is a classic example of the bait and switch, or of, wait for it... The Long Con! You know, the title of one of the earlier episodes! See!? They DID know where they were going with this show all along! ""
276427_3_R1K3JON2WBIGPR	"Sure, its wireless now but its too small and not ergonomic(unless you are a child or chimpanzee). The "sleek" design may come in handy when I toss it out the window to replace with a normal Bluray player. So in short if you want a Bluray player, buy a Bluray player, if you want a great game system, buy an XBOX, and if you want a spoiler for your car, buy a PS3."
276427_7_R2JTT60EJFPXF5	"I just started reading this book, aptly called "Make Money Reading Books" and only 1 page in and I've already made $5 from reading this very book. There it was, a $5 bill on page two. I can't wait to see how much money I'll make by the time I get to page 30."
276427_2_R3OTADU8DYGPR5	"Even the First Part of The Rights of Man would probably be too egalitarian for them; if they ever read Part Two (OMG socialism!), or The Age of Reason (ZOMG atheism!), let alone Agrarian Justice (OMFG communism!), their heads would explode. The Right can't have Thomas Paine, Mr Beck. You might as well try to claim Karl Marx."
276427_10_R14TJ81X6JP3T	"I have found to my great horror that this Relaxation Capsule opens portals into other worlds, worlds that man was never meant to open. I have opened a portal to the realm of the Great Old Ones and unleashed them upon this world."
15_7_R1BY0Z0ZXNOTZ4	"Additionally, I have no idea how any intelligent or sane person can remain a Twilight fan after reading about Edward EATING mutant vampire baby spawn out of his wife. Romantic it is not."
2_10_R3QR3AC2WXWHIT	""Very good if you need to write on paper, 7 Mar 2007." "Since taking delivery of my pen I have been very happy with the quality of ink deposition on the various types of paper that I have used. On the first day when I excitedly unwrapped my pen (thanks for the high quality packaging Amazon!) I just couldn't contain my excitement and went around finding things to write on, like the shopping list on the notice board in our kitchen, the Post-it notes next to the phone, and on my favourite lined A4 pad at the side of my desk.""
27_10_R1FQ1JIIVRHOYI	"Same problem other people had--Apple's refusal to honor warranty. Battery was not able to hold an acceptable charge after only one month of use."
20_7_R3B5G02I1XM5WU	""Someone talked me into getting this game. I should have known better." "You get ONE walk through on how to do a duel. I have no idea how the heck I made it through the first one." "After getting my new horse to town, I run into a guy who wants to duel. OK.""
276426_5_R2PL0JCRCWOMCK	"I expect better because we're better than this codependent, whining, immature fantasy designed to appeal to the worst of people"
276426_6_R1UC05T0AVT9C0	"The movie is supposed to be futuristic, with complex technology, and sophisticated technological operations on planet Pandora. You would think it would require humans with specialized training sophistication as well; yet the guy running the robotic bulldozer is portrayed as some redneck in in his flannel shirt and baseball cap. The evil money grubbing corporate guy is dressed in a present day shirt and tie, practicing his golf skills in the middle of the operations room. T-shirts, present day military outfits, bows and arrows? Futuristic? Give us a break."
276426_8_RG66D9Y4OS8BX	"The conservative media (especially Fox News) has created a virtual Disneyland for those who can't handle reality to immerse themselves in. And Sarah Palin is the princess in that Right Wing castle, who rose from humbleness to prominence by memorizing speeches written by her handlers from the RNC. Why anyone would actually pay money to read this poorly written fiction is beyond belief. If you really want to read a book by a prominent fascist, read Mein Kampf, it's well written and explains the mythos of the white master race much better than Sarah does."
276426_3_R1L1ADTIGILN56	"This is just misrepresentation. For that matter, why is this in the "toy" section? Fighting crime is a serious matter, for serious people. Even if you have no intention of using this helmet in your crime-fighting adventures, there's a danger of being seen as a crime-fighter by criminals simply for wearing the mission helmet."
35_3_R39RU0DF45AHMZ	"this product only got one star because "no stars" wasn't an option."
36_2_R2JAGXZZREW2JJ	"I arrived on a Thursday and to my surprise, the box was glowing! Slowly, I picked it up and a large electric surge shot right through my body. Even though I don't remember a thing, I had evidently ransacked the frozen meat section, assaulted a bag boy's leg and sprayed on a diaper display in aisle nine. But if you're considering a purchase, just understand the raw power at your fingertips. Understood by few, wielded by even fewer - that's the power of Night Breed."
48_6_R1U7J1AHX5G1Z0	"The quick version of this book: If you're pretty and pouty, you too can land yourself a gorgeous vampire boyfriend who will continuously save your a**."
31_4_R1LWA1AXUZGOXP	"So, I had it installed a couple of days ago. Worked great, but when my RPM's increased from my engine, a DEFINITE WHINE also came out of the speakers. I took it back to the shop that installed it. They came out and hemmed and hawed and said some things about DUAL being a crappy radio and there was nothing they could do. ... well, they could try a COUPLE of things, maybe. :)"
19_14_R31PWLHU285R9D	"I ordered 300 of these individually gift wrapped for a client's wedding and was horrified to learn 14 minutes before the reception that this is NOT REAL CRYSTAL!!! From an arms length and after 3 stoli martinis this could easily pass for Ireland's finest leaded or even a clear quartz from the mines of Malay but one look under the jewelers glass and it was immediately apparent that Bic was using low grade plastique. I will give their craftsmen due credit for their obvious mastery with the grinding and polishing wheels, as i've rarely encountered such precision in a "cigarette cut" piece. But crystal? Snort! I THINK NOT!"