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basketball.html
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<html crosspilot-123=""><head>
<meta content="click me or banana man will eat you" property="og:title" />
<meta content="#9001db" data-react-helmet="true" name="theme-color" />
<style>
body {
margin: 0;
}
#text {
color: white;
font-size: 60px;
left: 200px;
top: 300px;
position: fixed;
font-family: "Comic Sans MS"
}
#clickme {
width: 100%;
height: 100%;
background-color: black;
z-index: 100;
position: fixed;
}
#clickme > span {
font-size: 40px;
position: fixed;
left: 100px;
top: 100px;
cursor: pointer;
color: white;
}
#lyrics {
font-family: Impact;
position: fixed;
bottom: 20px;
left: 300px;
text-shadow: black 1px 0 10px;
color: white;
font-size: 40px;
}
</style>
<body>
<div id="clickme">
<span>click me or banana man will eat you</span>
</div>
<span id="text">ur mom is basketball</span>
<span id="lyrics"></span>
<script>
let basketball = new Audio();
document.getElementById("clickme").onclick = () => {
document.styleSheets[0].addRule("body", 'background-repeat: repeat;background-image: url("test/basketball.gif");');
basketball.src = "test/basketball.mp3";
basketball.loop = true;
// basketball.onplay = startLyrics;
basketball.play().then(i => startLyrics());
document.getElementById("clickme").hidden = true;
let title = document.createElement("title");
title.innerText = "YOUR MOTHER IS A BASKETBALL";
document.body.appendChild(title);
}
function parseTime(t) {
return Number(t.split(':')[0]) * 60 * 1000 + Number(t.split(':')[1].split(".")[0]) * 1000 + (+t.split(".")[1]*10);
}
function parseLyrics(lyrics, callback) {
let sp = lyrics.split("\n");
sp = sp.map(l => [parseTime(l.slice(1, 9)), l.slice(10)]).filter(l => !!l[1]);
if(callback) {
setInterval(() => {
if(sp[0] && basketball.currentTime*1000 > sp[0][0]) {
callback(sp[0][1]);
sp.shift();
}
}, 25);
}
return sp;
}
function startLyrics() {
parseLyrics(`[00:08.70]Your mother's so fat they didn't call Ghostbusters
[00:10.50]
[00:10.80]Stay Puft Man was all, "I don't trust her."
[00:12.90]
[00:13.00]In other words, she ate him
[00:14.40]
[00:14.60]Stay Puft Man's big, so that's how we know she's fat--
[00:16.20]
[00:16.30]Just to clarify
[00:17.40]
[00:17.60]Basketball, a basketball
[00:19.00]
[00:19.10]Yeah, well, your mother is a basketball
[00:21.20]
[00:21.50]I went there: your mother is a basketball
[00:23.20]
[00:23.40]A basketball, she's a basketball
[00:25.40]
[00:25.70]Stop. Everybody take 5
[00:27.30]
[00:27.80]Good show, guys, but I don't feel a vibe
[00:29.50]
[00:29.60]Let it all out; don't hold back; incriminate
[00:31.90]
[00:32.00]Here on this court, you gotta push it to the limit, mate
[00:34.20]
[00:34.30]Reach deep inside, throw the shots, come alive
[00:36.10]
[00:36.20]I'll be here tweeting the whole thing live
[00:38.10]
[00:38.20]So guys, be loquacious; show off your gall!
[00:40.40]
[00:40.50]What did you say his mother was again? (A basketball.)
[00:42.00]
[00:42.70]A basketball
[00:44.00]
[00:44.10]After all, she's bouncing like she had a bottle of Adderall
[00:46.90]
[00:47.00]She's also fat--not sure if I mentioned that--
[00:49.10]
[00:49.20]Twenty-nine inches wide from all sides, to be exact
[00:51.40]
[00:51.50]Man, that's wack. I object! But, to change the subject
[00:53.50]
[00:53.60]I double dribbl'd your Mom's bombs and she liked it
[00:55.60]
[00:55.70]Now I'm flying higher than a window wiper
[00:57.50]
[00:57.60]Where you're airing free throws like a drunken sniper
[00:59.80]
[00:59.90]I believe you need a reason like you're Zeppelin Piper
[01:01.70]
[01:01.80]If your mom were on Tinder, I'd swipe her right 'cuz I like her
[01:04.10]
[01:04.20]She's spherical, meaningful, queer, and clerical
[01:06.20]
[01:06.30]A leather planet with the gravity that makes you feel the pull
[01:08.50]
[01:08.60]Ooh, feeling it now, moves smooth, so adroit
[01:10.40]
[01:10.50]World's hearing it now, down under to Detroit
[01:12.60]
[01:12.70]Pity the pal who fails to score a swish
[01:14.80]
[01:14.90]Never gonna hit the buzzer 'cuz she just won't fit!
[01:17.10]
[01:17.20]Not that curvy's bad boys, in fact, it's sad
[01:18.80]
[01:18.90]But the women's NBA's not all round and rad
[01:21.00]
[01:21.10]Don't be lose ground, be a man;
[01:23.50]
[01:23.60]Do they fit basketballs with gastric bands?
[01:25.70]
[01:25.80]Oedipus Rex, Electra complex
[01:27.70]
[01:27.80]Pegasus wings on these foot springs but I digress
[01:29.90]
[01:30.00]Surf's up! I board a tidal wave of jump
[01:32.20]
[01:32.30]Yo' 'boks probably don't even pump, chump
[01:34.10]
[01:34.20]Sup?
[01:34.65]
[01:34.70]I got pump up 'boks, I'll palm my ball in my hand
[01:35.90]
[01:36.00]And shoot infinity points from up across this land
[01:38.10]
[01:38.20]So you can't pass the man if you know what's best, son
[01:40.40]
[01:40.50]Lest you wanna become a tripping guessing lesson
[01:42.40]
[01:42.50]Slam dunk!
[01:43.70]
[01:43.80]Foul?
[01:44.25]
[01:44.30]Ref, make the call!
[01:45.00]
[01:45.10]Oh gee, oh gosh, this is all too much
[01:46.70]
[01:46.80]Guys, I gotta confide--I'm just an actress, y'all
[01:49.00]
[01:49.10]Picked last at the dang-blasted casting call
[01:51.40]
[01:51.50]Some games don't have winners
[01:52.30]
[01:52.40]Some chickens don't end up on plates for dinners
[01:53.70]
[01:53.80]They contain the innards
[01:55.60]
[01:55.70]But we know the sun will always rise and always fall
[01:57.80]
[01:57.90]And that your mother will always be a basketball
[01:59.90]
[02:00.00]Basketball, a basketball
[02:01.60]
[02:01.70]If you're listening, your mother is a basketball
[02:03.80]
[02:03.90]That's right, you! Your mother is a basketball
[02:05.80]
[02:05.90]She's a basketball, bouncing faster all
[02:08.10]
[02:08.20]Over the rainbow in the stair
[02:17.10]
[02:17.20]Somehow, somewhere, someway, somewhere
[02:23.50] the end of lyrics cuz lazy to code`, l => {
document.getElementById("lyrics").innerText = l;
});
}
</script>
<style></style></body>