jokes.json

[
    "A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.",
    "I drank some boiling water... because I wanted to whistle.",
    "I've seen a human pyramid before... it was very unnecessary.",
    "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus... or a really cool opotamus?",
    "I like rice. Rice is great if you want to eat 2,000 of something.",
    "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.",
    "I bought myself a parrot, the parrot talked, but it did not say 'I'm hungry'... so it died.",
    "If you're a fish, and you want to become a fish stick, you have to have very good posture.",
    "Dogs are forever in the push up position",
    "The thing that's depressing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I will never be as good as a wall.",
    "I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.",
    "A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef!",
    "If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.",
    " I like escalators, because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs."
]