texts_amateur.txt

I write poems because it's fun
And I'm not the only one
It's an outlet for verbal expression
A hobby and not an obsession

I'm an amateur, not a pro
Thankful there's someplace to go
Where others like myself
Can write without seeking wealth

An opportunity for me to learn
Gain confidence in return
Friendly contests sharpen my skills
Winning is a personal cheap thrill

Not everyone feels the same
For people like me, that's a shame
They're always causing dissension
Complaining and seeking attention

In their high chair, they bang their spoon
Grown men crying childish tunes
The food that once filled their belly
To them is now tasteless and smelly

I say, find another place to eat
Let us amateurs compete
Nobody's making you stay
You don't play well with others, anyway

Bland food doesn't suit your palate
Over here you're wasting your talent
Why stay here and eat slop
Since your talent's so over the top

Seems like I could be on top of the world.
I think about poetry like my tongue is pearled.
Just the other day I wrote a poem to honor another poet.
I spun around in a spin to unfurl to the Soupers whorled.
I know they think they’re the bombshell.
They are big headed and believe their words cast the spell.
They vortex puts us in a whirlpool.
They billow swells.
Soupers let’s keep it real.
The universe zeal.
We entertain each other with our thoughts.
Poetry is our appeal.
We write to regale.
Anything else considered is to no avail.
I laugh aloud.
Soupers the advantage is a tall tale.
I am here to share-out.
That there is such a thing as an amateur in the house.
I know many fill the title of a poet professional.
This is where real skills are grandeur and profound.
Soupers, the truth expose.
A writer’s right shows.
Angstrom to a wavelength, the brain thinks and the mind depicts.
As a Poetess, here I throw it to the wind; that it is you with the asshole.

SPELLING TEST (there are over 30 words contained within this poem that are often 
misspelt by the common man)

We all do on occasion temporarily misspell.
Amateur or connoisseur of language,who can tell?
Conscientiously piece together,peculiar bits of rhyme.
Manoeuvre letters gorgeously for others to refine.

Discipline and experience,all apparent to you and me.
Pronunciation not enough to spell linguistically.
Skilful realignment of the letters needs addressed.
Paralytic implications quintessentially expressed.

A ricochet of rhythm,sabotaged in a queue of verse.
Cacophony of tone with their spellings unrehearsed.
Is your spelling kamikaze,a haemorrhaging of ink.
A karaoke nightmare,communication on the brink.

So literary geniuses,i am all apologetic.
If my utterance is rabbled and my spelling is pathetic.
You see,many words i utilize in this poem i create. 
Have been misspelt for centuries,the most common is 
separate


His talent as a Bard explodes
From an exquisite mind it flows 
Through an instrument of script
Flooding parchment reverberating
Through the psyche creating waves  
Reaching the far ends of the universe 

Words of truth deep sentiment flourish
Propelling legitimate personal emotions 
Giving due praise to brave loyal and true
To God nature his love and fellow Bards and
The magnificent highlands he loves so well
Always uplifting inspiring and sharing 

Accept this tribute from an amateur a friend
With gratitude for reading commenting for 
Being just who you are, The Highlander



Help me ladies , I need your words of advise!
For I've been played, not just once but twice!
Of late in love I feel at fault, such shame.
But I remained loyal,why is it  myself I blame?

Yes a man I don't need, I know that much.
But no one can live, without anothers touch.
Tell me how once again,I can or if i can trust?
Please ladies for your words I need, it so much!

Grrr don't get me started on the subject of men.
Its not just the male sex,just think of when,
We suffer with MENstruation and then MENopause
And blokes drive us MENtal....yes men are the cause!

Lady number one will throw you a bone.
I mean, find yourself a puppy dog to own.
You'll find he's warm,you can nuzzle with him.
It's not a far stretch to go out on a limb.

Let me off a second choice- a cat and a book.
A little imagination to help you forget that schnook.
Everyone knows a kitten loves to read over your shoulder.
And with the itty bitty furball you won't get colder.


Yes a man is good at sweet seductive of words,
to gaze in your fragile eyes and taste your red wine.
Spin you round his finger like twine and say you're mine
Till he's full,grins boyishly flies away like the birds!


Men are proud creatures who hardly ever admit to being wrong.
They'll portray themselves as a good guy and string you along.
A portrait of humility until becoming controlling and headstrong.
So look behind the mask they wear before you sing a torch song.


I tell myself, he loves me, he loves me not
I put up his crap because he's all I got
I came to realize I could do bad all by myself


Words of advice are often said with forked tongue
Hoping you will follow and end up feeling glum
Listen to your heart, does it miss a beat
When your near a certain someone, or you just on heat.

A man is helpful sometimes when the loads are heavy
No sex though remember to reward with a biscuit and a bevvy.
As to the touching bit that's hard to overcome
Cos nothing is better than a man's well rounded bum



If you are not understood; 
it is all for the good.
Keep the mystique alive; 
and let the men jive.
As the hunter, he thrives; 
satisfying his male drives.



Some helpful information for my female friends have I.
Most men adore attention, so give them what they crave:
your time, your adoration and for sure, some apple pie!
And then perhaps your guy might end up your love slave!



My words may well be thoughts most unpopular,
but, I make no claim as a romantic scholar.
In my view, when dealing with the human lot,
it is a variety of personalities you have got.

I feel gender is not a character slot.
Either sex can be born a thorough snot
and a complete deceit of predator rot.
Friends or lovers can turn you distraught.


Yes, there are from Mars and we are from Venus *from a book
they need to treat woman like the weaker sex that they are
they need to realize they all need us but we don't all need them


Madison Demetros:

Where men become our suitors. 
Where a man will softly peck us on the cheek, and weave, interlace his fingers in our ribbons of silky hair. 

But the thing I love the most about them....
is how lovingly, how longingly they stare.

Winsome Miller-Rowe:

Testosterone is to blame
They say when accosted
That excuse is so lame
It leaves you exhausted

Tell him you prefer
A man using his head
Than a hormone swayed amateur
That is easily led.

FROM BAD TO VERSE
Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter
So please don't condescend and mock her
We have different styles
I bring laughter and smiles
Please remember Jan is just an amateur!




He worked at the local newspaper office.
I worked for his employer’s wife as a mother’s helper.
He had served his apprenticeship 
and was now a full fledged printer 
earning a magnificent sum of eight dollars a week.
My wages were three dollars per week. 

Mrs. Miller found reasons for sending 
me to the office frequently
and he was easy to talk to.
It wasn’t long before 
he asked me to go to a movie
and I readily agreed.
Movies tickets at our local theatre 
were twenty-five cents, usually.
The first movie we went to was called 
“The Housekeeper’s Daughter”
starring Joan Bennett.
I don’t remember a thing about the story.
The next week he called again 
and this time 
the movie he wanted to take me to was
“Gone With The Wind”.
I protested that it was too expensive.
This time he would have to spend
fifty cents each on tickets
and the movie was so long that
there was an intermission 
and I knew he would want
to buy refreshments, but
I didn’t take much persuading 
and we went all out for that
evening of entertainment.
This time I did remember the story.

From that evening forward ,
he was a daily caller at our home
and my mother did her best 
to keep him fed.

Most of our dates were merely 
a stroll down town and back
as we had no car.

We heard on the radio that
Major Bowe’s Amateur Hour
was coming to a bigger town 
about thirty miles away
and both of us decided we would like to
attend that function.
Money would be a problem
on our wages, so we decided 
to save up for it.
One of us bought a dime bank and 
we each put any spare dime we could, 
into the bank.
It held five dollars.
We managed to have
five dollars worth of dimes
by the time the big day arrived.
Dad lent us his car
and off we went.
I don’t know what the tickets cost
but we had enough to buy them
plus enough to
indulge in an ice-cream soda
at the big town soda fountain.

1940 was the year our story started.
In March of 1941
he left for Detroit, Michigan
where he had heard he could find work
at a decent wage.
He sent a telegram
that he’d found a job
at $50.00 a week.
He had a minister and marriage license.
I had never been away from home before
but I traveled to Detroit and
we were married in July of 1941.




Musical Torment - The Infamous Masterpieces
Torturing me with touches
I feel the sting of hardened and lasting lust
Touches not of mortal fingers,
But Halloween-haloed strings composed by musicians of mystery
Pressing upon my back--yes! A searing, yet melodi-errotic strike
All upon me, yet far from me...

Leave me not in the judgement of my own scrambling feelings
Rest not away as I hold my hands out in the dark
Deathly dances are visions heaven-bound for the duo--
Yet for the solo- a blank, useless measure...

The pulsing silence of amateur-stitched love rattles me
Making rhythms giggle in my mind
Intervals of idiocy tormenting all reason
Truly an agonizing, but for others--minor--prison
Is the smile that helped design those strings
Those strings that pluck upon my spine
Controlling me in a dark place stuck between tunes and time

Why are your hands so cold when you play those piano keys?
Why are your lungs so eroded with the pride that taints the songs you sing?
Why have the rhythms gone awry, and why does your apathetic dissonance thrive?

And tell me… through it all…
As you compose the rise and fall…
Why is all this destruction you created so vibrantly alive?


I wish that I could write
Like my son the poet
I'm just an amateur
And well I know it

I search the site 
And there again
He has written something wonderful
With his amazing pen

Wish that I might write
As he has done
I know I am extremely proud
Of my wonderfully talented son


Dedicated to my son Richard poet extraordinaire
I am so glad that all my children are different
I can love you all for different reasons
Mom

How rare, how innate this journey 
manifests to be, the foreshadowing 
of a loners blessing. 

That intuitive thought to travel 
with when my third eye seems blemished. 
A mannequin of myself hidden in 
longevity, that has yet to spoil. 

I sometimes allow thoughts to slip 
away from this safe haven,
thereby welcoming consequences,
consequences only an amateur 
would allow. 

In this game of similar links,
I’m quickly reminded of a presence 
bestowed upon me. 
Those allies illustrated for battle.

Only a true soldier could retrace these 
portraits, heavy pages of uncertainty that we failed 
to erase. I’m grateful however, of the genuine flame it 
ignited. 

We defeated the irrelevant 
hazing, and found the blueprint for 
camaraderie. 
A groundwork for future war scars discovered
in our spirit. Overtime we prayed, and
received that undaunted 
scent. 

Still, perhaps in this physical scene, 
There lies too much symmetry for this 
parallel vision. 
Some fade away as a result, 
anticipating a reunion in higher 
dimensions. 

But as this masterpiece continues to illuminate, 
I praise God for this muse called friendship.

Perfection's never something, 
You can capture oh so well. 
But her beauty burned like gazing, 
At the fires that burn in Hell. 

And people they would beg of her, 
"Let me capture you in photograph." 
But with beauty that was so obscure, 
She'd always turn and laugh. 

She woke up every morning, 
But this was a different one. 
Called an artist that was yearning, 
"We can do this just for fun." 

She stained her lips with rose. 
Painted her cheeks in the fairest rouge. 
Slipped ballet flats upon her toes. 
And in her sundress she found refuge. 

The amateur had no say, 
She had planned the perfect spot. 
She whispered, "I'll lead the way." 
A small price to pay to get the perfect shot. 

Her movements were so delicate, 
It's as if they were devised. 
She used a subtle hand wave to indicate, 
That they had finally arrived. 

You would think you'd see a castle, 
Or maybe a field of green. 
But this enviroment was quite the hassle, 
Maybe her sense of taste wasn't keen. 

She thrusted weeds away, 
Steering clear of twigs and rocks. 
The warm wind made her sundress sway, 
And softly tousled her gold locks. 

Upon a bridge she advanced, 
The planks began to creak. 
The water below her danced, 
And sunset began to peak. 

She lifted her legs with elegance, 
And supported herself with a beam. 
The photographer shuttered in benevolence, 
But followed along with this dangerous scheme. 

It's as if the camera was under a spell; 
As beneath the bridge, waves violentally lashed. 
She threw her arms out and willingly fell, 
As the light grew bright and flashed. 

The tides pulled tight around her. 
They made her twirl and spin. 
And the camera man swore, 
she smiled as they tugged her in. 

Perfection's not that fluent. 
Not something you can capture oh so well. 
But now we have a picture here to prove it, 
As the waves dragged her to Hell.
.

Sometime last year, in late August 2015, something unusual went viral..
It was an ancient picture on the wall, vastly unlike its original art..

A piece of botched artwork, unfinished, and yet all over the world it enthralled..
People, the tourist kind, they made a quick bee line, to see for themselves..

Ecce Homo, a seemingly priceless ancient painting in a church , upon one of its wall..
Time has ravaged its brilliant colours , and its paintwork well flaked off the wall..

One artistic old lady of 83, she took it upon herself to try restore its beauty..
Painstakingly she laboured upon days on end, as expertly as she can..

She meant well, it hurts her artistic soul to see the priceless artwork fade..
She tried her best, but the colours, they ran and it was a difficult task..

She had to go away for a short while, she left behind a half restored art...
Someone in church, horrified no doubt,  took a picture of it as a matter of fact..

The uploaded picture in the internet, it was shared and quickly it went viral..
Many found it amusing, there was so much scorn, it was soundly ridiculed..

The Ecce Homo fresno, or Behold The Man, it now looks like a monkey or a porcupine…
A picture of a mournful Jesus is no more, in its place is an artwork that is one of its kind…

Poor Cecilia, a widow and amateur painter, she never had a chance to finish her effort..
Her failed restoration effort rocketed around the globe and then a miracle of sorts..

People started thronging to this church in Borja, Spain, it was a pilgrimage of some kind...
After the viral picture on the internet, people just had to see and view this new find…..

Now that 150,000 visitors have come and gone, Borja is a town rejuvenated and restored..
In this village of medieval palaces and winding lanes, this botched artwork has the town resurrected…

All the free publicity from a botched artpiece, it has been a breath of life to the local economy..
God works in mysterious ways, it explains the good fortunes that follows from the smudgy renderings..



Poetry is spontaneous, pure, raw emotion,
don't you dare label what I say as cliche. 
This is my perspective of life in motion,
through experiences encountered day by day. 

Bleeding and leaking in the form of ink,
my mind paints a beautiful picture. 
Writing for the soul pushed to the brink. 
Joy and sorrow, such a beautiful mixture. 


Poetry fuses all emotions,
time to forget the foolish notion,
that experience stays strict to form,
Time to recreate the norm. 


Life's not in Iambic Pentameter,
but it still moves with a lyrical flow. 
What some read may come off as amateur,
To others inspire spiritual growth. 


As Autumn leaves fall,
Spring begins to blossom,
change is almost here. 


Catalyzed by thoughts shared through honest words,
emerging from the emptiness deep down,
A blank verse forged through the pain and sorrow,
Brought to the light through happiness and peace. 


Redemption echoing like a shriek in an empty house---
emptying out feelings of defeat. 
Poetry is water for the dehydrated soul---
warmth from the desolate cold. 


Such a powerful tool should not be limited,
poetry frees me so I write freely. 
Free from the burdens of stress carried for so long,
free from the bondage of guidelines to tell my story. 
I Write to inspire, to spread desire like wildfire. 

No different than mankind, poetry should by judged by its content,
the body and form are institutional nonsense. 


She is Poet Laureate,Honored   ESTEEMED     Among old , young on the    SOUP
She is a Mother of  Poetry, A    MATRIARCH   Looked up to POETIC         WISDOM
Elaine George  very special       POETESS      Poetry through  her pen       FLOWS
Poetess among  POETESS         REVERED      POETESS through and       THROUGH
Novice, Amateur, Professional   EMULATES                                               HER 
We read, see hear  feel her       SENSITIVITY   Magic of  HER feathered     QUILL
Her Poetic written knowledge     SERENELY        Flows through her Golden    PEN 

 A Poetess  so deserving of        OBEISANCE      Acknowledging  her       TEACHING 
Suspense, Love, Intrigue             FORMED         For HER  FELLOW             POETS

Elaine George Writing  Her          POETRY          HEARTFELT  POEMS         OF  LOVE
Poems that touch Your Heart       OFTEN           Exhilarate the mind’s       EMOTIONS
AWE wonder for the G O D She   EXALTS         HER GOLDEN  PEN of        FEELINGS 
HER Comments , Endearing         T H E            POETRY World  TALKS       ABOUT
No posted Haikus to short  ; to     REAL          I enjoy YOUR  Rhymes of      LIFE 
                                                 Y O U


Iridescent Dad  

He’d known life, death and murder,
In our bloody war,
He had a group of followers,
Coming round to visit, for,
He’d take you in off the street,
And feed you, give you bed,
He’d fix your sick animal,
Yes an amateur vet,
 
My Father was a charmer,
Always full of common sense,
We never feared no harm,
with him in our defence, 
The vacumn when he died, 
was so immense,
 He would have had the last word,
 but he’s gone and jumped the fence.

Fated Hell
Slovenly sorrows cause a blur,
Shameful shallows seep and stir.
He whimpers; a cowering cur,
Deathbed's deals, give-take, now occur.
Soul dried, bunched ball of prickly burr
Waste-of-time tears, goad like a spur.

Apologies, are but a slur,
Regrets besmirch like rancid myrrh.
Slanderers’ stooge, no amateur,
Souls sold, Evil’s entrepreneur.
Atropos to cut; F A T E S concur
Time to let loose this saboteur! 

“Burn in H E L L”,  said the whisperer…


No Apologies
     Rumour has it
that you write

     There are many 
amateur critics ready

to put you down

    You don't have to 
apologize

     for your life style,
for your work

     for anything you do
    When the summer begins 
        to die

  Feel the winds of
 September in your bones

    Let your creativity 
grow like a late-blooming 
   flower

     Now you feel 
only the wind

     It doesn't judge 
you

     It frees your spirit 
from the stifiling heat
     Let the sound of 
trumpets
Reach your soul

Pick up a pen

  Tell them your hopes, 
wishes, dreams

Let the critics talk

You are the 
flowing river
of magic words

The Mystery of Eyes
The Mystery of Eyes

I place pen to paper, look into your eyes,
How to shadow them to show they’ve just cried,
Draw the same circle, a center dark and deep,
I look into them, study, and I, too, weep.

You are so kind, you sit with patience,
While I, an amateur paint with slow cadence,
What is the secret to the eyes’ communication?
When they change not the spirit’s shaped reflection.


the truth
Truth had me up against the ropes
and semi-concious without no boxing skills
Fear of it makes hair on my neck grow like minoxodil

Watchin the clock is ill when, faced with the truth
Parallels observing, amateur video tapes of
Twenty-one top notch NYPD cops get ill
Fill they minds not to kill still son, never revealed

True feelings, we speakin on the truth right now in itself is healing
See The Creator, created existence and balance
At right angles, unless it was conceived and stated
So whoever shall stray away from right lives wrong

The deliverance of the word false opposite of truth off course
Sure as my slave name sending
Troy Donald Jamerson paves the path, enabling truth
To stay stable and cling to EARTH!

Sorta similar to the way static electricity sting see
Truth brings light, light refracts off the mirror
Visions of yourself and error could never clearer

The truth is that you ugly, not on the outside
But in the inside on the outside you frontin you lovely
The discovery of these things and all are well-hidden
But when you in denial of self it is forbidden, that's the truth

Sexy pussy cat
Your small kitten ears point up to the sky,
They’re black, fluffy and soft, made of silk.
And you stand on all fours, back arched like a church,
As you lick from your bowl full of milk.

Then your eyes look up, pleading for tender,
Pleading for touch, to be loved and embraced.
And you reach your claws out, webbed amongst mine,
And our fingers become interlaced.

You delicately stroke your cheek against mine,
Up, down, all around, then you emit a soft purr.
Then your claws gradually strip down the length of my back,
And I know that you’re no amateur.

I love you, my lover, I love your love kinks,
I love your uniforms, your suits and top hat.
I especially love when you dress up as a pussy,
When you become my wanton woman, my cat.



The World ain't seen SUPERHEROES yet
This is nothing similar to a fairytale
Grossly not the packaging of an unwanted mail
Nothing close to a Kafkaesque display
It is FACT!!! On the head I hit the nail

If you're looking for heroes, don't go that far
You might wonder where in the world they are
We are the gratified ones, we've made the par
Look around, you got the super-duper star

Could superman overpower the masters on poetry side
Nor flash run extraordinarily fast in his mind
Ben 10 transform his feelings into written lines
And hulk evolve as poetry's mastermind?

You know the answers if you're not gazing for 'amateur'
We are supersonic... We are not caricatures
We are superiority... We re not immatures
We are superheroes... The best among living creatures

Go back and resurrect that dead pen of yours
Open your book and ink down your elevated thoughts
Speak your mind, Open your heart, don't give up
We were born to do this, We were born to rule the WORLD

Go and reclaim Glory!!!
WE ARE THE SUPERHEROES THEY AINT SEEN YET


A Poet's Confession
It is like a drunk
or addict reaching that 'so called' stopping off point. That point
where one can't imagine life with or without the fix. Writing is like that.
Obsessive, progressive, addictive. A fix. Scribes need it to 'feed the rat.'

Recently I have felt
overwhelmed reading all of the BFAs and MFAs out there, being at most an
amateur ham and egger myself. Writers all strive arduously to organize words
into some form or message that people enjoy. That touches them. That they 
identify with.

I've dreamt of hearing,
"Ahh, your words meant so much to me!" And, immediately I fall into 
delusional dreams of people swooning. This helplessly addicted novice would 
be left to wallow, pro tempore, in the juices of their nouveau riche, yet
auspicious skills? It is simply not like that though, people!

Most of the time
writing is line by line, meter by meter, and word beside word. Then edit,
clip, and rewrite. And all of that to be a novice 'ham and egger.'

Look at
E.E. Cummings, James Agee, Carl Sandburg, Ernest Dowson, Gana Gioia.
All of them capable of writing something complete, abiding, and significant
in less than sixty words.

So significant that
one can return to read and reflect upon the words all the years of a life. 

No chance of my ever
writing something compelling like one of those guys? Maybe, I could channel
an inner Dylan Thomas? Perhaps, if I touched the oxfords of Dr. Seuss?
Now, there is a good plan! That Sam I Am, That Sam I Am, 
I do not like that Sam..............E-I-E-I-O!

Perhaps, if I had voted for Barack Obama I would be 
more sensitive and artistic? All muses, artists, and 
sensitive people vote Democratic, don't they? ---
Yes, that's it! If I change my voter registration I'll suddenly
awake one day with all of the angst and existentialist ardor 
of Sartre or Dostoyevsky!...........................Shit, not a chance.

A better strategy might be
to write poetry for all of the right reasons. It is very much worthwhile
expression and communication in our age. It is an accomplishment if 
even a handful of people every read the words. Poetry is still important
today. Its benefits enable the author to 'dig the well' of their life experience
deeper with every topic completed. 

The words are there. All one has to do is gather them fearlessly!

The 60s
American Bandstand, Aqua Velva Ads, Aretha Franklin, and, the Andy Griffith Show
Black lights, Bewitched, bean bag chairs, beads, Batman and the Beatles
Cleopatra, Corvairs, Corvettes, Chevelles, Captain Kangaroo, Civil Rights Movement
Dionne Warwick, Derek and the Dominoes, Dennis the Menace, and Dodge Dart.
Ed Sullivan’s Amateur Hour, Elvis Presley, the Edsel, and new expressions emerge.
Fiddler on the Roof , Flower Power painted vans, Free love, Fiber optic lights, 
Giget, Green Acres, Glen Campbell, Gun Smoke, Go-Go Boots, “Go with the flow!”
Hello Dolly, Have Gun Will Travel,and the Hippie Movement begin...“Hang Ten”
Imperial (the car), I dream of Jeanie, and new phrases  “In your face” crop up.
JFK youngest U.S. President, and Jackie Kennedy stylish First Lady,
Kennedy was assassinated and the nation mourned the loss of their young leader.
Lamborghini 350 GT, Lava Lamps, Lady and the Tramp, Lost in Space, Lassie
Mousekateers, mini-skirts, mobiles, macramé plant hangars, Mash, The Monkeys,
Nissan Skyline GT-R, Nash Metropolitan, and Nestles’ Nestle were signs of the times.
Ordinary people seek peace during the years of war and social change of the 60s.
Pillsbury Doughboy, Petticoat Junction,and Peter, Paul, and Mary, placate.
Queen for the Day TV show, bring a fantasy escape during radically changing times.
Rabbit ear antennas for TV shows: Route 66, and Rowan and Martin’s Laugh- In.
Sherri Lewis and Lamb Chop, Shake and Bake, and the sexual revolution start.
Twist to The Four Tops, The Flintstones,The Adam’s Family, The Twilight Zone.  
“Up your nose with a rubber hose” and similar expressions are the times’ lingo.
Valley of the Dolls, Volkswagon Karmann Ghia, and Vanilla Fudge, gain popularity.
Wonderful World of Disney, Vietnam War, protests, and “Groovy” words crop up.
Xenoglossia emerges; “Make love, not war,” “Far out,”  “Catch you on the flip-side.”
Yonderly Vietnam Veterans return home to social unrest without a hero’s honor.
Zanadu dances around in the minds of the partakers; religion is legal, not marijuana.


Sex, sweat and perfume
Sex,sweat and perfume
Still consume this room
The sheets washed a thousand times
Yet laced with our swansong

I lay on pillows new
But just like morning dew
As droplets of us are evaporating 
I'm left...with all the aromas...and envisage what they bring

But there's nothing left to anticipate 
A swansong heard now on death we await
To feel your lips upon mine one last time
Delicately parted by my tongue

My muse...my Alice Prin
Who brings forth unadulterated sin!
For the amount of canvases who have felt my strokes some may deem me amateur
Yet through constant connective awareness,readdressing and adjusting minute details
I have intensified my masterstroke so i fill the canvas and it swells to produce
Cream of the Crop

They said love conquers all
To believe that are you a fool?
To be questioned on passion, lust and love coexisting?
A question only asked by those still searching!!

For I won't settle for anything lessDevilishly deep eyes time stands still,
For a fool cannot find the will,
Stagger an eye for you the path he tread,
Left lingers the words you had said,
They look beyond the eyes you lure,
To fall and dive devilishly more,
There paused in time as both eyes lock,
As if her eyes could stop the clock.

A kiss amidst this air strays,
Lingers in wait and rose red,
Revives its eyes to tragic gaze,
Hopeless that all has shed.
A rosy kiss blown now beyond,
Whispers subtle, amidst this air,
But a breath of love, so fond,
An incomplete heart to care.
Breathless almost, the dreamer let,
Rosy red kiss which blew amidst,
Helpless lips near that met,
In lost eyes, love shan’t resist.

She sulks and sings
The sky the cloud brings,
In turn she sulks and sings,
Tear drops of her sorrow,
Drips from her tomorrow.

Her air she plenty knows,
Rides above winds she rose,
Lash the skies with ease,
Then dies down as she please.

Down field and pipe pours,
Draws her tears to yours,
Tries not release a drop of rain,
Slipping her cloud again.

Tearful cloud now free,
Them others cry unlike thee,
Now she will not sulk but sing,
Clearing skies will bring.


Her ore and shine she’s like the moon
To orbit these skies with lovers tune
Silvery splendor the nights only one
Moonlight it floods, till she’s gone
In wondrous clouds upon the waves
Mirrors her face, on ocean ways
Night of mine she’s amid the stars
Each never gleams, as quite you are
Distantly dazzle shall not wither
By my side, I ask to hither
Beautiful and rare like no other
Hand over my heart to my lover.


Them trenchers feet with knees knelt,
his brown eyes of soil washes away,
soldiers some ran, some they felt,
grass fields, or graveyards gray.

The trenches deep, like pits some fell,
stands there, wears the blood of war,
he cries endless fear as bullets yell,
knows of years of pain, he swore.

Theres a poets vault,
In it a million rhymes and charms,
Only the poets they fault,
Then perish with legs and arms.
But maybe little of a legend lies,
Though seek with open eyes.

Worthy writers do search,
On the only vault they hope,
The words of ease can perch,
And in a poets darkness grope.
To reach and smash book shelves,
But never true feelings they delve.

The amateur poet pens down,
Unleashing the words he writes,
But inspired by the suns crown,
His rhymes and charms take flight.
Digging deep and deeper still,
Yet just poems on a window sill.

Pick yourself up
Pick yourself up
with a tear in your eye,
White blinding light
you breath out a sigh,
Pain felt throughout
by this bewildered one,
Harm has been caused
the damage is done,
Unable to remember
the incident at all,
Lying in the road
curled in a ball,
Superhuman recovery
is the miracle you are,
To be in the accident
but not killed by the car,
Fate played its part
but luck had prevailed,
Fortunate for the individual
he could have been nailed,
A miraculous escape
for this idle fool,
should have been more wary
It could have ended it all.

The Moon
Luminous moon
Enlighten the night,
Twinkling stars
Glowing with light,
Behind is the sun
Keeping it bright,
Shining in darkness
It blazes alight.


Its just the beginning
Shady clouds break out
white lit sky – hidden away,
Rain showers fall from heaven
Eeriness turns to gray,
Strength up above
Peace – driven astray
Thrusts of wind
Leaves thrown into array
Flashing lights a sudden outburst
Thunder echoes overhead,
White strikes to the floor
The thunderstorm is bred.

Falling, falling, falling
Falling through the air
I feel a sudden pause,
Time stops quick
as I begin to feel the fall.

Fields down below are just a speck
as I hurtle towards the ground,
A second feels like an hour
the rush goes through my blood,
Unable to control
what I wish that I could.

Though people love the feeling
of no ropes or boundaries,
I feel time is precious
as I turn around to see,
my parachute bloom into spring
its colours I see to vividly,
It gulps up all the air
while I float to earth amiably.

The city worm does turn and swell
in sewers of wet it does yet dwell
tunneling through it knew in haste
to belong in slime and grime and waste.

Pass under the cities thunder to live
does dither but slither and give
a slimy but shiny covering of gel
in its home in movement alone it does smell.

City lights in nights the worm does see
through gutters it mutters of thee
and chase the car noises to race and play
but a second worm it does yearn to stay.


A squint and a sniff and a pause

head tilted, sort of elevated a slight

A blow and a bow all applause

the sneeze from the nose that i write.

I saw someone sneeze today a lot lol so did this quick, short poem.

In the Phantoms night
From a lifetime of sleepy hollow,
coffined in the dismal dungeon it lays
to hunt a night and sleep by days
sheltered from the damning sunlight in castle walls it stays.

The phantoms intension’s infused,
blood likened for its lively taste
mortals lie stone cold, stiff and defaced
kneeled on the ground to drink the bleeding its graced.

Offspring they flex and fly,
black bat winged creatures at night
a swarm of a million in flight
leatherbacks circle the skies silvered by moonlight.

Bloodthirsty bats dangle harum-scarum,
red evil eyes they peep
like a tree of black bark they sleep
in wait of the notorious liquid a golden apple to reap.

Peasants divulge their crosses
to revel with fisted hands
behind the village troops the priest he stands
to burn and shatter the evils in protection of threatened lands.


The Moon and The Sun
The full moon creeps to touch my window ledge
and a million stars shine brightly tonight
the silver moon shimmers at nighttime so bright.

The moon and the stars are hidden away
day light dawns the sun in the distance
not gone forever but blinded by persistence.
My wrists bleed with an untold love

My heart as free as a caged dove

The soul burns with an unwanted desire

There's nothing left for me to aspire

The words I speak are of solitude alone

Every voice turning into a drone

From now on I shall live and die alone

Never shall love be truly shown

The one I love lives miles from home

Everyone else just seems a clone

She's different and holds me postpone

Together we'll be but for now alone

I'm devoted to her untold

I'll never stop loving her but behold

The beauty shines from her hold

Her eternal gaze is to be behold

She's nothing less than I have foretold

The fires of my heart grows cold,

My eyes, they fill with desire,

My love burns so cold,

My meaningless soul,

The icy hells filled with fire,



The shallow breaths of icy queens,

The motionless meanings of the liar,

The end of all the helpless ease,

The end of me entire.
You stole my heart entire

The young

The wicked

The old the

The wise

You are the one I desire



When we first met on that faitful night

When you held my hands like fire

My heart it burned

My eyes in turn

You stole my soul and left desire



Your skin so soft

You eyes so bright

Your soul burning like the bonfire

You are the one I will always love

You are the only one of which I desire

efore her arrival my life was cold

Now she’s here my heart burns with soul


My eyes on her

Her eyes on me

Our eyes upon each other


Each secret glance

Each secret kiss

Each secret word inspired



She is my world

She is my life

I miss her without being retired

She is my heart she is my soul

She is my number one desireMy heart grows tired with weary eyes

I am coming to my eternal demise

Death approaches me with such hollow eyes

He didn't even try to look in disguise



The eternal sorrow of my foreboding heart

That kiss I thought would be my last

I swore to myself I’d never go fast

I swore to myself I’ll always come last (and I have)



The troubles of my blood stained soul

Lost forever as I wander alone

In a mist of fear, & terror, & fright&

I will always be the last to pick a fight



My heart is forever yours my eternal beauty

I’ve now lost it all so please just shoot me

The love I’ve grown with passion unknown

Forever to be stone dead coldMy heart was once filled with hope

My thoughts were of one desire

Now I feel my life is gone

Now I live in fear



The ones I love turn their back

The ones I like turn to

There’s only one I want and she thinks I belong in a zoo



She stole my heart

She entered my soul

She turned my world around



Now she’s gone nothings left

My hearts as black as coal

The tears that run once were blue

Now their as read as the blood stained soul



I loved her so

Gave her my all

One stupid text ruined it all



I spoiled my chance

I spoiled the love

I spoiled it with her an all



I text her to say how much I care

I text to give my love

I never meant to interfere

I never meat to stuff it up



I hurt my self

I hurt our love

I over reacted as usualThe fires of night burn so bright

The cold harsh chill can cause such a fright

The dying embers burned throughout

The love within to be sought out

The heart is used & ready to be thrown out

Just like the dyeing embers burnt throughout

The day is over so comes the night

For now and forever I die outI can't take it anymore

I just couldn't see

I lost it all 

An everyone’s like whoopee



I took the pills

I drunk the drink

Now I fear it's over as I lay over the sink



I cant survive

I cant take it no more

I dun something stupid

Now its over for sureOf each day one teardrop falls

One love filled hope

You are appalled



With every kiss

With every hug

You steal my heart

& I spill blood



With every tear

Which streams down my cheek

I see everything

Through eyes so bleak



Each tender touch

Each slender kiss

I am yours

To do as you wish



I left my past

I left my soul

Now I’m yours

As I have foretoldWith every beat of my dyeing heart

I long for our relationship to start

Alone so long with hate inside

You come as I reach my demise

The dyeing embers wrote upon the floor

My heart beats never more

The raven of death circles above

Never shall he know of our true love

From cold hard stone to read hot fires

My life has been filled with compulsive liars

My feelings are so misconstrued

My stupid feelings leave me elude

Forever now upon my soul

Never to be forgotten or left alone

You become my life you become my all

Never again shall you be let fallMy heart was ripped from inside my chest

The love I felt has left me so depressed

If I could hold her just one last time

My life would seem so divine

Now without her I close my eyes

Every second I lose my mind

She stole my heart from deep inside

I give her my all and asked nothing back

Now I'm left in the worlds deepest crack

I'm left alone like such a sap

I loved her with ever part of me

She got my soul and then forgot

I've now given up the lot

She can now take her shot

I need the end so please take it back

In my everlasting love I feel forgot

Now I'd die and never regret.....Math so cold it froze my heart,

Most is found by some old fart,

One plus one seems so dumb,

Please pull the trigger on my gun,



Pythagoras in you we trust,

Maths is one thing I could never lust,

In every life, in every child,

At some point maths made them smile,



Silly names, sound made up,

With every test we say good luck,

Important in our every day

Important & will forever stay,I opened my eyes and saw into you're soul

The angelic bird nest within

My heart was yours from that very first kiss

I was yours forever an always



When I first set eyes on you

My heart was stole by you

I'll never be whole alone again



My soul grows weary

My heart turned red

From the coal black which was once within



You brought love to my life

You brought life to my soul

You complete me without saying anything



I'm yours forever and always

My heart grows weak as the air fills with gloom, 

My heart it suffers with my soul unknown, 

You watch my tears steam down the cheek, 

You watch my tears as I grow weak, 



My throat grows dry, 

My eyes grow tied, 

The noose around my neck grows tighter, 



The end is near, 

The hand of death, 

The hurt I fear, 

This is me depressed, 



I feel so wary, 

I feel so down, 

I feel as if I may drown, 



I hang myself, 

I slit my wrist, 

I don't feel anything more than being pissed, 



I feel no more, 

I save no soul, 

I go onto death and the darkness unknown

Up in clouds above

I see you fly like a dove

Your angel wings spread so wide

This is all at my demise



Your spirit saws

Whilst my heart thaws

My love for you’s gone out the doors



I feel so weak

I feel so weary

Now I’m yours

This is scary



You stole my heart

You stole my soul

I feel as blind as a mole



I feel for you

You feel for me

We feel for each other

Can this really be

She is my life

She is my dream

She is my world entire



She stole my heart

She stole a kiss

She stole my soul and left desire



My heart is cold when she's away

My heart is stone when she’s gone

My heart is hers, she is all I desire



The one I love

The one I kissed

I'd die for her today



Forever and always on my mind

Never from my heart gone away

End my pain, out the door

I sicken myself nevermore

To be defeated, to feel the hate

From my life I can not escape

Each dyeing day leaves questions asked

The next day comes and nothing lasts

Always forgotten with routs unknown

Never again shall love take my thrown

Forever envied for things I've done

Never wanted to be what I've become

With fruitless toil in endless fields

Never again shall my spirit get it's needs

With dyeing embers upon the floor

I live no longer, never more.

Her hand glide across my own

Her eyes fixed upon the soul

I watched her through obstructed eyes

I watched her with love and surprise



She pulled my hand toward her lips

Her loving touch

Her slender kiss



Her name is etched upon my soul

Her eyes engraved but never told

Through strands of hair I see her eyes

Through strands of hair I see beauty surprised



I loved her from the very first glance

I love her now more enhanced

I love her so with every kiss

I love her and her slender kiss



I led down upon the bed

She lay her hand just behind my head

She began to lower her head

I raised mine and kissed her still led



She stole my heart

She stole my soul

She stole my life

Now I'm hers so.

She stole my heart

She stole my soul

I gave her everything I own



She was my all

She was my angel

Then she went and killed me fatal



My heart was gone

My soul was gone

My life was nearly gone too



I though the pain had left my side

So soon it rushed back

Now the blade in my hand

My wrists bleeding black



The girl I loved

She owns my soul

The demonic look in her eye

She stole my heart

She stole my sole

She stole the clothes off my back.......We never met you yet we fell in love,

We never spoke but I heard your voice,

We never kissed yet I felt your breath,

You changed my life, you're my success,



Every night my dreams are full,

I imaging you, truth be-told,

You hold my hand as I grasp yours,

I stare at you and beauty behold,



The things I feel are like nothing before,

I hope this feeling never hits the floor,

Or my life may just walk out the door,

For I am yours forever more.

I will not die

I will survive

I feel alive

I'm sick of this dive

Tomorrow I'll strive

To feel alive

And escape this dive

Just to survive

Feeling so alive

I shall strive

And I must survive

To play music live

Like bees in a hive

We must fight to survive

And try to stay alive

Not taking a dive

We are aliveI follow you

You follow me

It's just us to

That's my philosophy



This love is true

For you and me

The skies are blue

It's only you and me



You're running away

This love wont play

It ends today

It's the only way



This loves not true

For you and me

The skies are grey

Our love must end today



This will never pay

Unless we run away

We can love today

Just in a different way



I follow you

You follow me

It's just us two

This will always do



Together we're strong

Nothing we do is wrong

We'll stand so long

Just to find our song

I see nothing in your eyes

As another piece of me dies

You continue with your lies

There are no more highs



You take another breath

It's just leading to my death

My love for you compressed

Just making me depressed



The end of us despised

There's finally fires in your eyes

This comes as no surprise

As soon as one of us dies



I believe in you

I wish I could show you

There's nothing wrong with you

There's just us two



Say goodbye

As we dance with the devil

We're not on the level

We're nothing that special



I can't erase the stupid things I said

Inside of me I just feel so dead

You're the only thing in my head

Why couldn't it be my end instead



Our love is just so dead

What's left is inside your head

This is my end instead

We should have just fledCease thy lustful quake

As I forever lay awake

I shall forever wait

For my love for you is so great

You leave me in such a state

At the end of every date



Forever you remain in my heart

Your beauty is such a work of art

We shall never grow apart

No matter where we depart



For I shall only ever have eyes for you

I never want us to be through

I'm stuck to you like glue

Being with you feels so true



We've had so many tries

Together we can reach the skies

We see through one anothers lies

And I see beauty in your eyes



As I come to my demise

I see fires in your eyes

This is something I'd advise

To never say your goodbyes



Together we shall rise

Reach the skies like fierflies

The when shall appries

What we shall sensationalizeThe beauty held within

Is such a wonderful sin

My love for you will begin

As my blood becomes thin



It races around my heart

As my love for you does start

You beauty has become recognised art

We shall never grow apart



As the fires fill our eyes

Another person cries

And our love never dies

As we soar through the skies



We have never met yet

But please do not fret

As I shall never forget

And with you shall never regret



My love for you disguised

As I look deep into your eyes

You find it no surprise

As you see the fires in my eyesIm sorry for everything bad I've done

But to tell you the truth you're my number one

Talking to you is the best ting I've ever done

You are the one I shall never shun

You shine to me brighter than the sun

I wish I could make all the bad that happened to you come undone

I'll forever be known as the other one

Just promise me you'll have fun

With you I wish I could just run

For your beauty shall forever stun

You are the one who always won

You shall forever be my number oneThe beauty beheld upon your face

As you look at me with such disgrace

My love leaves but not a trace

For you could never possibly be replaced

As I can never leave your embrace

Every move filled with such grace

Together we can reach any place

A special plan to embrace the chace

As my hand reaches for your face

You just make my heart raceI was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to

As my love for you grew

How can this be misconstrue

This is our loves debut

As together we flew

As for me you don't have a clue

Just what you can do

If you only knew

Just what you pulled me through

I feel we're the only two

The skies for us are blue

My love for you just grew

My feelings for you feel so true

We can stay up and watch the morning dew

My feelings for you are overdue

Together we can start a new

For I shall always pursue

My ever growing love I feel for you

As my feelings for you stew

My love for you just grew

For there shall be much ado

About just what I feel for you

Together we shall accrue

You shall never feel blue

Because it just can never do

We'll never be through

Because all I need is you

Together there is nothing we can not doMy life so far was filled with pain

Myy family have been my bane

Of you I shall never complain

I shall always try to maintain

These feelings for you which are so insane

I want to hold you and run in the rain

My heart is healed which was once slain

The passion I feel is hard to contain

You have started my loves new reign

The passion within shall never drain

As I want to just hold and kiss you again and again

Its hard to express my feelings for you,

but this is as best I can do,

I really hope this is true,

Even if it's not I still want you,

Just want you to know the love of us two,

We shall be never through,

Each day the feelings just grew,

The feelings I feel are so new,

With you I'll do all I can do,

You just tured my darkened skies blue,I'm crazy for you

With you theres nothing I cant do

To you I shall forever be true

You are something new

You really have no clue

Just what you do

Got I love you

Your love I pursue

The love and hope you feel is really overdue

I shall always love you

To me you'll never be number two

I'll do for you all I can doHow did this happen

I fear I'll never know

Just for you there's nowhere I wont go

My feelings for you everyday grow

You're as beautiful as the fresh crisp snow

I hope one day with you I can bestow

I just feel with you I'll always be below

But my love for you shall forever flow

I'll do what I can to make my love show

But for you there's no place I shall not go

My love you shall forever know

New feelings for you

They are something new

They feel so true

There's nothing I can do

Please don't misconstrue

These feelings for you

I can't help but pursue

It can be just us two

I don't think either of us knew

That my heart you drew

As I set my eyes on you

And the skies turned blue

If you only knew

How much and just what you do

I had no clue

Before I met you

This seems a bit taboo

But what can we do

For your love I shall pursue

With you there's nothing I can not do

Together we knew

What we had to do

You turned my skies blue

I bet you never knew

In his cold dead hands he holds the blade

He was meant to be on his final crusade

Before he left they all thought he was too afraid

But now his final game has been played

His trust was finally betrayed

There was no way he ever could have evade

But his life fortunately span over a decade

He shall be sorely missed by the one he serenade

But in his last breath he still tried to aid

Unfortunately silenced by the blast of a grenade

The pain he felt couldn't possibly be conveyed

The memories of him shall surely fade

No condolences were ever paid

No one ever thought to have prayed

His final wish was that peace could be made

Though his voice was lost as he was laid

And for this hero there was no parade

His country just continued to invade

Why did the continue this masquerade

He took his life with that simple blade

No ones piece was ever made

His life could have been saved 

The people around him were just so depravedThere are things within my head I can not control

The things I think, the way I feel, it's like being in a hole,

Quite ironically theses things I feel also blind me like a mole,

You see there is this one person I fear has stole my soul,

These stress and pains, unwanted gains, their like chains upon my soul,

I try to fight it, I try to see sense, but I feel destined to be toll,

As with each passing day, each hate fill hour my hearts as black as coal,

I fear being with yo,u no matter how misconstrue, is possibly my life goal,

You see there's another fear, you don't need to know my dear, I may have no-one in which to console,

These feelings I have, the things I do, I have no self-control,

The things she broke, she never knew, I can now never be whole,

She stole my heart, she stole my soul, she stole more than she'll ever know,

She was a beautiful woman, this everyone had known, you couldn't miss her angelic glow,

If I only knew, if she could only see, if my pain I could only show,

I loved her so, there's nowhere I wouldn't go but there's one thing though,

I thought we moved on again, I'm sick of this hole, this never ending woe,

This is how I show my pain, You see since the day we met she has always been my bane,

This is my solace and peaceful way of conveying my every pain, I never want to feel again,

In the past you set my heart a flame,

For these feelings I can not blame,

I just feel it's seems such a shame,



Because all my love you tried to drain,

There's nothing left inside but pain,

How can I ever trust again?

It's you I love no matter what came,



I love you, I just want to be there,

I'll always try to tell you just how much I care,

Being away from you, is nothing new,

But I fear it's just leading me to despair,



I don't think for much longer this pain I can bear,

Who do you think you are just trying to take my love to compare,

And yet I just want to feel your love, no matter what happens we can always repair,

Please don't leave me so broken and in despair,

(It's you for which I deeply care)



I wrap my heart around your own,

My love for you has somehow grown,

I thought my chances with you were blown,

If only I had ever known, I still love you,



I wish someone would just take your thrown,

This pain before I'd never known,

I just let out an unsightly groan,

But being with you I shall never moan

The monstrous pains I feel inside, has my soul in divide,

Once maybe my soul did glide, but now my feelings I just hide,

I don't know how much longer I can survive, everyone around me just seems to connive,

How is it that I have been left alive? What the hell? Why is it God choses me to survive?

When surrounded I feel so unalive, I just feel in an eternal dive, For my life I shall not strive,

Am I reaching my eternal demise? Can no one see my pain inside? Am I the only one using my eyes?

My whole life I seem to have been ill advised, my end shall come as no surprise,

Is death lurking behind in disguise? Am I really ready to say my goodbyes? Why does no one hear my cries?

My heart just feels so despised, as if there is no love left inside, it's as if my soul has died,

But with all my pain aside, I have to try to live and abide, I have to live with feelings denied,

Is it that something was misimplied, or did I just miss something spread worldwide?

If only I had the strength to run and hide, or to feel like I've never cried, or that somehow no one had lied,

And yet I still stand outside, never shall friendship and I collide, This is not what I decide, I take but another stride,

You see there was once love inside, but now people just try to ride, I just let it slide, leave them connive,

But it just hurts inside, love denied,my soul divide, can no longer provide, washed away with the tide,Say goodbye and turn away, nothing's left your skies are grey,

For the feelings you've had you been made to pay,

You are left ripped apart for yet another passing day,

You lost long ago that sun shiny ray,  the way you're left is hard to convey,

What should someone say? Is this really the only way? Just give up on life and disobey?

Life just seems left in such disarray, when you feel you've yakutakay,

Give in to lifes exponential decay, never turn and try to pray, nothing will ever again be ok,

You forget the gayeties of yesterday, this is the way you must pay, never to see the end of today,

This is the only way you can think to display how every feeling you had has gone away?

This way others also pay,they finally see your pain never went away, how after everything you could never be ok,

It's just so hard to portray how lifes rules you can never obey when living so long there's so much you've had to pay,

I just feel so betray, I just don't want to stay, lifes little games just don't weigh,

No more shall I play, now I shall stray, forgetting the end of today,

No more I payEach day my love for you grows

You can never stop its eternal flow

As you shall never lose your angelic glow

From now on, pain you shall never know

For you there is nowhere I wont go

I hope somehow my love for you shall show

We shall never come to blows

I just don't know how you can't show

Just how far we could go

You shall never truly know

Just how much my love for you shall flow

Forever in my heart you shall always know

For us there is nowhere I wont go

The pain shall no longer flow

The hate you feet no longer show

Forever in loves eternal flow

My love for you shall forever be knownStop the beating of my throbbing heart

Our love was over before it had time to start

From now on we stand apart

I feel like I should have depart

But it was you who was such a tart

The choices we made weren’t so smart

My life is missing such a large part

We needed more time for it to have start

Every time I tried to talk you just dart

Now I cry and you just laugh

You just blanked me in the cafe

I can’t be bothered with your riffraff

Everything just seems so naff

I can’t let these feelings just pass

I pray for you at every mass

I only wish it would have last

Nothing can ever lay just in the past

My heart waits for you in a cast

Together we had such a blast

If I were a ship you’d be my mast

I feel as empty as if I’ve fast

I’m so sick of coming last

We just have to accept the pasts the pastThe life you hold within your hand

Is something I can no longer stand

The gates to my heart lay unmanned

As I wish we stay lay hand in hand

That would be so much more than grand

Together we travel to a new land

Walked along the beaches burning sand

No longer together do we stand

My love for you no more than a strand

This is something neither of us planned

Our feelings feel as if they should be banned

We may never truly understand

Just why this has to end

Why can’t this ever be mend

I’m just fed up of trying to pretend

I don’t think you shall ever truly comprehend

This is just our loves end

Keep my heart and don’t bother to send

It can never again be truly mendA girl like you’s impossible to find

If anyone doesn’t love you they must be blind

For you there will always be someone behind

For all you ever are is kind

In many hearts you are eternally signed

No matter what you do I won’t mind

Your name embossed and underlined

To miss you would be so blind

My love for you shall never be timed

I just wish our time we could rewind

With you I never want to fall behind

This poem for you is solemnly rhymed

Your beauty so blinding

On hearts is signing

You always have perfect timing

Why is it my love is miming?

Our love your just finding?

Your beauty so blinding?

Why are you hiding?

Why are you crying?

Why continue with your infernal lying?

Tonight we are both dying

No longer either of us crying

No one ever again prying

I’m fed up of trying

Affection buying

Tear drying

Tonight we’re dying

We lay together with our hands behind,

Both of our hearts possibly entwined,

My love for her is so defined,

Her beauty forever and always on my mind,

Since the first day we met she’s been so kind,

To not see her beauty would be so blind,

I hope one day my love she’ll find,

Together we shall be bind,

My heart she’s eternally signed,

In each others arms we can unwind,

With you there is no need for mankind,

She is my all, so beautiful and sublimed,

To be with her my life possibly designed,

I just hope with her I shan’t be declined,

Her I shall never undermined,

To kiss and hold her I feel inclined,

She truly should be enshrined,

My love for all others possibly resigned,

Our futures hopefully intertwined,

For her I shall never need be remind,

Together we lay with hearts entwined,

Forever and always on my mind,

As “I love you” is what each of us in tern signed,

Happiness together we shall both find,

Writing for one another on pages which are lined,

Your everlasting beauty so sublimed,

You just seem so defined,

Why was it in the past that they wined?

You have only ever been so precious, so kind,

For anyone to leave you would be so blind,

My everlasting love for you can never be timed,

For you this poem is truly rhymes,

Your love is so refined,

I nearly always choose heart over mind,

For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always shined,I'll never get to feel your lips

Or share with you a tender kiss

I'll never get to hold your hands

Or walk with you in the golden sands

I'll never get to see you smile

But for you I'll walk any number of mile

I'll never get to see you sleep

You just leave me in an unwanted heap

I'll never see the light within

These unrequited feelings feel such a sin

I'll never be in your heart

Why did these feelings have to start

I'll never share our first kiss

Why is it I have to miss

I'll never see into your eyes

With unrequited love that's no surprise

I'll never be what you deserve

You are just so much more than superb

I'll never see what we could be

You'll never know my one, two, three, four,

Holding you is incredible
Kissing you is a dream
You are the most beautiful
Thing I've ever seen
Your freckles are so tiny
Your eyes blue as a lake
And when I see you smile
It's the icing on the cake
I'm afraid to show you too much love
And at the same time not enough
Cause too much love can smother
And too little is pretty rough
To find a perfect balance is
A struggle inside of me
And so I search high and low
To find the perfect key
And when I search I tend to stare
And I get your what's and why's
Just know these words are how I feel
When I look into your eyes
You were my father once
Until she took you away from me

I understand you need a wife
But I'm your daughter and I need a father

I rarely get to see you and
When I do it's like I'm not even there

I feel like I've lost my father
And it's all because of her

She took my father away
And it's like she doesn't even care

You are still in my head
Even though you're never there

When I need a father
You'd rather be with her

But when you need a daughter
I am always thereOur friendship is a golden chain
The links we hold so dear
It is like a precious jewel
We remember each passing year
Our friendship can't be broken
Not even bought or sold
We keep an understanding friendship
That's worth so much more than gold
Our friendship will never die
No matter how far apart or old
We will remain friends forever
And every day our friendship stays so
Very strong and boldListen to the candles flame
Listen to what it tells you
It's telling you who you are
Where you're going
Where your life is headed
Just remember to listenYou are my world
You are my air, my water, my food
My rain and sunshine
You make my world so much better
My world is a happy place with you in it

I look into your eyes, and see love and
I know that love is meant for me
I see the happiness I give you, and you give me
I hope I can spend my life by your side
I don't want to live in my world without you in it

As I touch your face
I'm reminded of a rose
That soft and gentle touch
That always means so very much
You are so gentle and loving with me

It makes me feel good knowing you'll always care
I feel so much better knowing you'll be here for me
You're here when I need to talk and feeling down
You're always trying to cheer me up
And make me feel better when I need it

As you hold me in your arms
I feel so very safe and comfortable
I wish I could stay there forever
I love you so very much
"I could lose myself in you"
   
As I stare into the candle flame
I hear people talking with no mention of a name
They are talking about the couple we are
And then one says you'll be better by far

With someone that is right for you
With someone that cares the way you do

I hurts because I love you so very much
And I don't know how to show you
Except through my gentle touch
I hear you when you say that you know and see
But the only way I know is to just be me
With the brightest stars
In those loveing eyes
I hope you can get past all my horrible lies

Everyday I wish we will never part
And I thank you for every new start
As you hold me close to you
There is one thing
I wish I will never have to do
To hear you need your space
To not be able to kiss and touch that gentle face

I love you with every bit of my heart
So please tell me we will never part
I truely hope you feel this way to
And always remember I will always love you
Everyday we are together I hope you see
You will always have a part of meI've been hurt all of my life
Every day it was something new
So I put a gate up around my heart
And tossed the key as far as I could
Hoping it would never be found
People came very close
But could not open the gate
For they never found the key
And one day you came down
My mind saying open the gate
My heart was saying forget it
And then I remembered, no one can get in
Without the little key to my heart
Just as I was ready to leave
You opened up your hand
And there was the little key
That little key I tossed so long ago
You had found it and opened the gate
And since that day I've been so happy
And so very glad that it was you who found
The key to my heartAs I stand before the gates of hell
I hear the droan of a single bell
It tells the time the gates will open
Never again will my name be spoken
I pass beyond great plillars of flame
My mind struggles to remember your name

With my head in my hands I drop to my knees
Saying "Let me remember please"
As I turn the gates behind me close
I look behind the bars and see a rose
A rose with petals as soft as your face
God please let me out of this place

I hold the rose tight in my hand
Slowly it begins to turn to sand
I look upwards from within this space
I see you standing there crying
I hate what I've done by dying

To forget your soft and gentle touch
God knows I love you so very much
But now it's time for me to part
Time for you to make a new start
But remember this till your dying day
In my heart you'll always stay

The love I gave you will help you see
You will always have a part of meYou're the one that's always there
Showing me, you'll always care
You always put us in front of you
Even when you shouldn't you always do
I am sorry for all the hurt and pain
Lord knows I've got nothing to gain
You give us what we want every time
Even if it leaves you with no more than a dime
I know sometimes you can't see that I do
But please know I'll always love and care for youAs a breeze comforts my cheek,
I awaken and open my eyes.
I see but stains of frustration and defeat,
As a dusky shadow attacks the colourless skies.

An atmosphere of endless silence and fantasy,
Come about as unimaginable visions.
They control all thoughts of pain and sympathy,
Taking over your mind and decisions.

An agonizing flame covers the water,
As hot steam rises to melt the darkness.
Your worries are blazed over by the golden fire,
As hurt and damage is endured by the overcoming of obscureness.

Death quickly lifts itself,
As clouds of relief casually surround each bound.
I see quick flashes of my past life as well as my troubled health,
For I am not only lost, but will never be found.

Life, a treasure I once had,
But was given to me without warning, time limit nor clue.
So I shall cry forevermore, and stay sad,
For I was too young to be forgotten, My time was not yet due.To leave this atmosphere would be my dream,
To be in my own place and not have to be seen.
Space for my mind to think without it being an obligation or task,
Time for myself is all I ask.

No need to maintain the lack of trust,
I will do no harm nor imitation.
No damage nor destruction,
I will do only what i must.

My eyes wish to see their freedom,
My body seeks it's space.
There shouldn't be any allowance for worry,
I will be anything and everything but lonely.

A new and exciting life ahead of me,
With but one old familiar face.
My sweetheart with whom I triumph each portal and their solid gates,
Together, we will build, our new and amazing place.

The walls will be blessed with our love,
As they are sealed by our trust.
No protection will be needed, not a cask nor glove.
Just you and I together as one, sweetie, it's good enough.You take your first glance.
A sight you will never forget.
The rush of happiness flows through his eyes.
As his smile shines across his face.
You speak so cautiously.
While he tries to stay calm.
You feel the excitement plunge through your veins.
And the intoxicating emotions charge around you.
The touch of his hands give you strength.
The words he speaks give you might.
Your mind is in need, and your heart is in love.
You find yourself deep within him.
You are both lost in each others essences.
A soft kiss on your cheek.
Leaves you anxious for more.
But you know he feels no anxiety.
Because you are with him.
And he is with you.
Your mind is open.
Targets of joy shower your conscious.
As you look into his eyes.
You see what he sees.
You fear nothing, terror is no more.
For he stands by your side.
And will be Forevermore.I will love you, for as long as my heart beats it's song.
I will stand by you, so we may conquer our fears and keep each other strong.
I will worry about you, for as long as life goes on.
I will understand you, for everything you say as well as do, I feel it too.
I will comfort you, when things seem though and you feel helpless.
I will cry for you, for as long as tears are felt by pain or happiness.
I will listen to you, when things get nuts and you need someone to talk to.
I will trust you, for no matter what people say, "us" is who I stand for.
I will never forget you, for you are on my mind now, and will be part of me, forevermore.If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's,
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me,"
"thank you," or "its okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.The pain I feel will not decease,
It builds a stream of anguish and distress.
It sprints throughout my body with no sign of decrease,
And leaves my misery to face a new conquest.

A sword and sheild will not protect me,
Nor will any liquid or remedy.
There is no special key to free me,
For I require an unknown strategy.

I can not call upon anyone,
For they can not hear me.
I try to reach someone,
But they can not feel me.

I try to stand clear,
Away from all the anxiety.
But I see their faces drown deep into fear,
As I wish to reasure their worry.

A dark shadow buries me,
No sounds, not a word is said.
My hand is held tightly,
As someone delicately kisses my forehead.

The anguish and distress I once felt,
Are no longer a bother.
I watch those fearful faces melt,
And observe their tears fall to a slow departure.

Those memories that I hold so dear to me,
I will never disregard nor forget.
No cause to show any more worry,
For I know things happen for a reason, I have no signs of regretAs we stand here together,
Our eyes staring at the floor.
Our first moment with eachother,
We've never been through anything like this before.

Holding your hand,
A new feeling I can't explain.
It makes it's way throughout my shivering body,
It takes away all my pain.

I watch you closely,
Not knowing what to say.
Wanting to tell you I love you,
But my lips get numb as my breath looses it's way.

Night falls, another day is done,
Resting my head against your chest, I close my eyes.
It's my favourite dream come true,
As I hear you whisper to my ear,

"I Love You"Problems have taken their pulpit,
Stood high and laughed in our faces.
But we've shattered what they thought was a forfeit,
As we let trust shine with love to all high places.

We've each been given our lovable titles,
As well as being called THE best.
You and I share something so strong and undestroyable,
Like Our devotion, a golden sword that penetrates all the rest.

Those things you say to me throughout the day,
They will always be said once more.
For I hold each word firmly so that I may,
Say those same pledges to you now and forevermore.

We always share in each other's strength,
And we always cry in each other's pain.
And yet we know each other will survive any obstacle at any length,
For once together, we can get through hell, cold and rain.Sitting and looking at the sky,
Looking as the stars are bright.
My head is lost,
While my mind is in flight.

Looking through time,
Going through my mind.
Getting lost through space,
Never to find my own place.

Searching for my soul,
Never to be found.
I try to stay calm,
But this shit is too strong.

Still sitting, wondering where I am,
Where I've been, and what I've done.
Things are moving too quickly,
There is no time to run.

Trying to move my legs,
Moving one side to the other.
I try to run from all that is around me,
But things are happening too soundenly.

Bright yellow and red lights,
Melting colours and screaming lines.
I see scary images with green eyes,
What's going on? Stop messing with my mind!!Get me out of this fucked up hell hole.
I need a life, I need the freedom.
Fuck you all, does it look like I care?
Step the hell away, don't you make me go there.
You think you know what's best for me?
Fuck you!!! You don't know shit.
Get to your point, try to see my reality.
Tell me what you see.
Do you see me there? Do you see me?
I'm standing in the dark you fool.
You can't see nothin', you're all full of shit.
Your minds aren't clear enough.
You say shit too fast.
How the hell do you want me to understand?
Go get yourselves checked, see a doctor.
Tell him you need to get your head out of your stuck up ass.
Are you all out to hurt me?
Congrads, you fucked me up real good!
What? You want me to clap?
Screw off Bitch, how's about you start by setting me free.
You say you're tired of hearing me complaining.
Well shut the hell up, and stop your nagging.
Don't you put that hand on my shoulder as if you cared.
Who do you think you're foolin'?
Even God knows you're fucked up in there,
You think I'm scared?
Scared of what Bitch?!
All I get to see are the four walls of this damn house.
All I get to hear is the bullshit that comes outta your mouth.
Drugs, is that what you think I'm on?
You think I take 'em as my midnight snack?
Try again fool!
Maybe you be the one who be messin' with that damn prozzak.
Let me out of here, let me be.
God damnit Bitch, set me free!!Do not try to figure things out,
Let them take place as you progress.
For things happen for a reason at any cost or amount,
To dwell on logic would only make *thinking* odd and senseless.

Purposes will surface at their own pace,
As precious time will be spent on searching.
Just support the flow, let happiness shine through your troubled face,
And let all hesitations complete their obscure tracking.

When everything seems perfect, too good to be true,
Do not search for doubts to prove there is no such thing.
For our time together is special to me as it is for you,
We both know this is no particular crush nor fling.

Let us spend nothing but a pleasant and wondrous duration,
As we create a world of pure thought through our memories.
With no trace of any uncertainty nor apprehension,
So that we may look back on them with ease.

I Love You with all my heart,
An overwhelming feeling which will never depart.
And so I ask you but one favour... to simply think of the good and leave the bad to disembark.
When the time finally comes for you and I to part.Sitting here thinking about you
No other thoughts but you
Feels like your right here
Holding me, making sure everything's alright
Makes me wonder.

Looking outside, watching birds fly
Seeing snow fall to the ground
Way up there from the sky
Observing the day, Become night
Makes me wonder

Everyone looking so happy
Together at last
Then a day goes by and not a care in the world
Until we notice a new war has begun
And yet I wonder

To sit here free
As I feel the pain
Of those who can not feel the same way
I see the anger, the shame and the horror
And so I ask you,

Do you ever wonder?My mother raised me
To be be a good soul
Treat women gentle
And act like they're gold
But lately I been thinking
If it's really worth it all
'Cause ask me who I'm going with
And I'll say no one at all
Women come to me
When they want to complain
About their jerk off of a man
Who treats love like a game
And then they have the nerve
To look me in the eye
And ask me where the sweet guys are
And then they run and cry
Well lately I've been trying
To keep bitterness away
But I feel I'm losing the battle
More and more every day
This growing bitterness inside me
Is a direct result
Of seeing assholes with someone
While I'm a lonely dolt
If I let it all take over
And became a piece of shit
Then would you love me
Is that really it?
Or is it maybe that you are
Not mature enough to see
That you see a sweet guy every time
You take a look at me
It would be so easy
For me to turn mean
I could be the biggest asshole
That you've ever seen
No one seems to appreciate
How hard and long I've kept
All the feelings inside of me
Neatly cleaned and swept
My life has not been easy
I've got my share of lemons and limes
Seen all that TV shit for real
Been beat a thousand times
No one seems to appreciate
How hard I try to please
While inside I feel empty
Like crying on my knees
So all you ladies who have called
Someone asshole a thousand times
Is that what you want or someone "sweet"
MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!I feel like am alone.
Nay, it is a wake up call, so pick up the fucking phone.
I want to see, rather I want to be shown, this gunman isn?t lone.
And with no direction home.
How dry I am, dry to the bone.
This is not to delay, or postpone.
Sinking in depressions black ocean like a stone.
Exactly what was this penalty?
Did I forget to pay some fee?
What was wrong with my cup of tea?
What in the world could it be?
I have so much love left in me.
Yet I drown in this empty sea.
I?m too nice a guy you see.
And I should be scattered to the wind like so much debrisHung on a cross, bleeding out of three nails.
That?s whom we call out to if all else fails
He?s the one who can put the wind back in your sails.
Then again you might just get another tug on your tail

Masses assemble in the church, and people take seats
And listen in awe as they hear his story and miraculous feats.
Towards the end there's a reassuring embrace of peace.
Sometimes you leave so elated that life seems to have a new lease.

I am not so sure about Him, as so many others are.
The story as a whole, well to me it reaches just to far.
Just like others have gods, some are gods in the stars.
Yet other gods are planets, well for example mars.

So on my search Ill look for the good when I can.
It?s an awful lot to ask of a foundation made of sand.
I am not certain I want to really know the man.
Two options I have are halos or get a really harsh tan.

Again, if nothing ever does turn up.
If nothing comes from drink out of that cup.
Or nothing form the flesh that we sup.
And Gods fury never erupts.

I?ll be happy, I didn't ride the rails.
Of that train, ultimately this is what it entails.
When you needed, him most he bails.
Still you come back when all else fails.I'll tell you straight, nice guys finish last my friend.
And to that statement, there may be no end.
But out to this person, never a heart will they send.
That is the undeniable fact, the unbreakable trend.
So tears well up, and then all the colors start to blend.
Stopping every once in a while to look around the bend.
With nothing waiting there, to you wounds you must tend
You have to pull up because of the unyielding wind
That keeps you down, it will always have you pinned
If asked to spare some sorrow you'd have plenty to lend
Don't cry for this fool he's a schlep, pitiful to the end

He chose his path, he was fully aware of the pain it bore.
Looking for love like it could be found at some store.
Not acknowledging that life?s offer is so much more
It isn't exactly seen, and certainly doesn't offer a tour.
Things are more exciting that way and not such a chore.
To a new philosophy it's hard to turn no matter how I emplore
Your feet in the shifting sands manipulated by the waves of the shore
Do yourself a favor, and bury yourself under it's salty floor.
Never look back, it will only feed exactly what feels so sore
Do just that and you can end the heart you think is so poor.
I'm not saying you shouldn't pull out a chair or open a door
Stop being so timid and shy, for it with yourself you are at war.
I know the last time you asked for a girls number she said what for?

Listen up you may just learn something, and let me reiterate
That life is a closely woven fabric, sown with great care and fate
But it isn't all roses, trust in that, even if you think love is late
It will happen as it was written in chaos, it will change you state
And to be sure, everyone gets an extra helping of disappointment on their plate
Look for LIFE, not love, accomplish this and you will forget about your wait.
Playing in the yard passes the time faster than sitting in front of the gate
That's where it's at, not looking in corners for something great.
Get it out, drive fast, write a poem, don't let it build up and fill you with hate
I'm going to leave you now, you always have the opportunity for a clean slate.
So keep your chin up, because your eyes and smile are the most attractive of traits!To melt the rain and to freeze the snows
Can I be naked, while still wearing clothes
Is it so wrong for a man to also paint his toes
Gay or fruity would be said of me I suppose
I can feel this lush land yawning as it grows
Turning in to a river of sand, still it flows
Lost in a blissful zephyr as against my face it blows
Life is sweet, on your face, and I think it shows
What is to come from this rant of love no one knows
Setting out on an untamed river, to forget all my woes
And it is to you this very next question I pose
Does this smell as magnificent to your nose
Do I bring you up high out of all your low
Are my kisses as soft as the petals on a rose
If I had it my way, this chapter would never close
Living happily ever after is how our story goes
Triumphing over adversity and any such foes
Listen, the farther away you get the more my heart slows
Have I taken the path that on other has ever chose
Are my ducks not all lined up in neat little rows
To end this rhyme is now what I propose

Here we go again, I open my sails
Making love, sweet and slow as snails
I am no genius, I never went to Yale
Here is my heart, and what it entails
Lying under foot when the world is a bed of nails
Stand back as I defend you against life as it wails
Like a banshees cry or the largest of hails
Things get bumpy this close to the rails
I am the cure for your troubles and ails
Touching your body like the softest of gales
I stay rooted after everyone else bails
The sun will shine when the dark curtain unveils
With illumination so bright that everything else just pales
I know your worth, and you should be praised with hails
Where shall we tryst, on the mountains of in the dales
To our health and prosperity we toast our ales
I must go now, and so my words must curtail
Just remember this, I?ll be there, unlike other males
Also my heart is the same as yours, brittle as shale
But to me you should see when things seem stale
Standing by your side, until we are both old and frail
And they are uncertain with arms that flail
But look to me when all else failsWhat would I do if I had you?
Well, that?s a big to do.
May I take your coat?
Enemies what need smote?
Let me pull out your chair.
Wafting smells from your hair.
Perhaps you would like some flowers.
To sweeten up a day that sours.
How was your day at work?
Oh someone was being a jerk.
Well find comfort in my arms.
And forgive those that harm.

You?ll look to me when things go wrong
I?ll comfort you with kisses soft and long
And when you fell alone and cold
Don?t, on my heart you have a firm hold
As well as a smile more precious than gold
Full of mystery and secrets I?m told
So let me pour the champagne bubbles
Again and again, now were in trouble
Through our hold, we take another sip
Then lick the taste off each others lips
Things would be incredible and the best
Our love would be the ultimate test
Just thinking about it, makes me burn inside
So then I start to close my eyes
And wishing you were by my side
Thinking about this love ride
I want to lay you down on my bed
And... perhaps it?s better left unsaid
I?d much rather show you instead
Making enough noise to wake the dead

I?ve gone on to long already
I will be your rock, strong and steady
Seems I think a lot of myself
And I know your top shelf
Still, you feelings remain stealth
Yet I know, with them, I need no wealth
Together we?d transcend the earth
We?d be so happy, filled with mirth
Incase you didn?t noticed, I?m into you
And your honest eyes, with their green hue
Please peruse this fully, let me know what to do
Or tell me off, tell me I don?t have a clue
Because being bruised, is better than being blueEverything is different,
I've changed in so many ways.
Some are good, some are bad,
I just don't know what to say.

I'm wondering about so many things,
Can you guess one or two??
The weirdest thing yet to come,
Is the past of me and you.

I wish things would just untangle,
I'm completely and totally confused.
I wish for a glimpse of God's light,
What do you suppise I do??

Me, Myself, and I,
We've been doing a lot of thinkin'.
But, no matter how hard I try,
I can still feel my heart sinkin'.

Again, why did this happen??
I like the way things used to be.
Back then everything was so easy,
Everything was once so clear to me.

I don't know what you're thinking,
And sometimes I think that's best.
But once in awhile, I think,
In ourselves, we are all guests.Late at night,
After my prayers.
I lie and say,
"I wish you were here.";

My mind starts to flutter,
My heart skips a beat.
As I remember the days,
When you were my seat.

You held me so close,
Then kissed me goodnight.
Not until morning,
Were you back in my sight.

I was silently sleeping,
When you sat on my bed.
You only stared at me,
Not a word was said.

That morning was special,
But abrumptly cut short.
You were off to work,
And I, to the harbor port.

I got on the boat,
Holding back tears.
I hadn't yet realized,
Our next meeting would take two years.

I'm still waiting to see you,
Excitement is high.
In a few months,
I will be by your side.

Then I awake,
And the past is past.
And my wish this time,
Is that we will last.You smile at me,
As I look in your eyes.
The color of rainbows,
Dancing in the skies.

The feel of your touch,
The look in your eyes.
The laugh of your smile,
Is like no other guy's.

I never knew,
How happy I could be.
Just looking at you,
Looking at me.Have you ever thought about your life??
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep??
Have you ever asked yourself the question,
"For who is it that I weep??"

Have you ever tried to focus,
But were interrupted by uncontrollable thoughts??
Have you ever wanted more of something??
Have you ever repeated to yourself the shoulds and oughts??

Have you ever tried to have a discussion,
In the over crowded halls??
Have you ever waited on someone,
Who said they'd return your calls??

Have you ever made a decision -
Whether it be right or wrong,
Then found out later,
That it didn't matter, you took too long??

Have you ever tried to be a friend;
Then was told to go to Hell??
Have you ever pretended to be completely calm,
But inside all you wanted was to yell??

If you have ever done these things,
Then you must forget them now.
For than you can move on the the finer things in life,
But you must forget the hurts; the "owwws."

So now I ask you:

Have you ever laughed out-loud,
Not worrying about what people think??
Have you ever gotten something on your shirt,
And walked around, proudly displaying the ink??

Have you ever smiled,
Over the passing thought of your crush??
Have you ever stopped playing in the snow,
Then realized this will one day be slush??

Have you ever closed your eyes real tight,
And wished a wish to come true??
If you've ever done these things,
Then life is truth for you!!I don't know how to tell you,
You've never done me wrong.
This may be hard for you,
But it's a destiny I long.

At one point I really liked you,
Your smell, your simple touch.
Yet, everything I've feard--
It's just been way too much.

I feared for our friendship,
I didn't want it to end.
Yes, you were a good boyfriend,
But I think we're better off friends.

I hope this isn't hard for you,
I'll never want to hurt you.
I don't know who told you,
But deep down I think you knew.

You're a great individual,
Please never change.
Don't let some things get to you,
I'd hate to see you rearranged.Entwined in this tape,
I cannot move.
The door has been locked,
And I'm stuck in this room.
Something will save me,
I know I'm not stuck.
But, of course, all I'm doing,
Is pushing my luck.
I wish you could save me,
My prince charming to be.
And I'll be Cinderella,
Ugly, as you can see.
But the best thing is,
I'm not stuck here at all.
I'm sitting here in a Willow's tree,
Or lounging in the hall.
I've got an imagination,
You can't take that away.
You see it protects me,
All night and everyday.Memories cross through my mind,
Explorers so close to home.
Potential smiles transform to grins,
But once more I am alone.

We were happy beyond happy,
We were in love but furthermore.
Love was but a wasted product,
Sand washed up from the shore.

Our nights turned to listening,
Silence never to intrude.
But the only thing in my thoughts,
Was nothing less than "solude."

*Solude is Spanish for Bless You!!Are they true??
Are they lies??
Who knows for sure??
But you have to decide.

When you first find out,
It's such a surprise.
Tell "them" how you feel,
And don't compromise.

If you haven't dealt with them,
Just wait, you'll get your turn.
But take it from me,
You'll know all you need to learn.

There's two kinds of rumours:
There's good, there's bad.
Oh, and watch out,
They'll make you so mad.

I've had my experience,
I'm sorry to say.
Why do people do this??
It's not the right way.

They break up relationships,
They come between friends.
Next time be aware,
This could be the end.

I wish I had known,
So take it from me.
Hold on to your heart,
Don't give away the key.I see Your face in my heart,
You're skin's so soft in my mind.
But the background is where I'm lost,
I'm facing in rewind.

It's hard to stay on track,
And I'm sorry if I fall off the path.
But, please, give me forgiveness,
It's like a cleansing bath.

You are my faithful friend,
My lover, my confidant.
You're always there to listen,
You help me out a lot.

There may be times when I ignore You,
I'm sorry, but You stay true.
These times are actually helpful,
They guide me back to You.

You have never left me,
You've alway been near.
You trust me and respect me,
And show me everlasting care.

Now I need to thank You,
For everything You've done.
I'll try not to disappoint You,
So that me, You will never shun.
   
Everything was perfect,
I was in a blissful peace.
But then you took me outside,
For a heartbroken release.

How I feel is not important,
At least, not to me.
I want to know how you feel,
I wasn't crying as hard as thee.

You told me you still liked me,
And, of course, I feel the same.
You keep calling yourself a jerk,
But no one deserves the blame.

You hardly even looked at me,
While I stared into your eyes.
You looked to me for guidence,
I said, "go to her," but "Why??" was your reply.

I never want to let go,
Because I was as high as a kite.
No one knows how I feel,
No one was there that night.

I will never try to "get back at you,"
I know you didn't mean harm.
But I'll forever miss you,
Your smile, your thoughts, your arm.There's two sides within me,
There's good and there's bad.
Heaven and Hell,
It's like two totally different lads.

One's telling me he isn't worth it,
This is how it should be.
But the other side still longs,
For the past; you and me!!

Now, I'm asking myself,
What should I do??
I probably shouldn't say it,
But I still want to be with you.

It's all kinda weird,
Just the way life is.
You kinda just appeared,
All I can say is, "Jeez Whiz!!"

Wuth you, happiness is all I see,
But, amazingly, I'm not completely blue.
Yes, I am so sad,
But you're with me in everything I do.

And you've taught me so much,
About so many things.
God, Love, Friendship,
Are songs you've helped me to sing.I don't know how this could happen,
I'm dying deep within.
Why do you keep on doing it??
It's killing more than my skin.

I'm doubting that you care,
Frankly, I don't care if YOU fall.
But I don't want the only thing left of me,
To be a stupid picture on the wall.

I'm still amazed at how you do it,
Are you waiting for a long, painful death??
'Cause, the way things are going,
You won't be able to take that last breath.

And why do you even do it??
You know all the risks.
Frankly, it's none of my business,
But why make yourself and others sick??

It's so much harder on the second person,
Much harder than on the first.
It's just not fair,
We seem to always get the worst.

This probably means nothing to you,
But I hope someone out there knows.
No matter who is asking,
For everyone's sake, just say "NO!!"

This was written to my brother and mother, who both smoke, and who
don't know I feel this way...I have a hard time sharing things with
those who are closest to me...basically, I hope this inspires someone
to just say no to an offer, or to quit while they still can...I don't know how this could happen,
I'm dying deep within.
Why do you keep on doing it??
It's killing more than my skin.

I'm doubting that you care,
Frankly, I don't care if YOU fall.
But I don't want the only thing left of me,
To be a stupid picture on the wall.

I'm still amazed at how you do it,
Are you waiting for a long, painful death??
'Cause, the way things are going,
You won't be able to take that last breath.

And why do you even do it??
You know all the risks.
Frankly, it's none of my business,
But why make yourself and others sick??

It's so much harder on the second person,
Much harder than on the first.
It's just not fair,
We seem to always get the worst.

This probably means nothing to you,
But I hope someone out there knows.
No matter who is asking,
For everyone's sake, just say "NO!!"

This was written to my brother and mother, who both smoke, and who
don't know I feel this way...I have a hard time sharing things with
those who are closest to me...basically, I hope this inspires someone
to just say no to an offer, or to quit while they still can...I miss you,
When you're gone.
I miss the way you hold me,
When you're gone.
I miss your kisses on my forehead,
When you're gone.
I miss your smile,
The way it crawls across your face,
When you're gone.
I miss your hands,
Just caressing mine,
When you're gone.
I miss your laughter,
And the way it always makes me laugh,
When you're gone.
I miss the fun we share together,
When we do absolutely nothing,
When you're gone.
And I love the way you brighten my whole world,
When you're here.

Originally for my boyfriend, Shawn Haines!!
   
My love for you is unconditional,
My love for you will never stop,
But I'm so confused,
I don't know where to start.

You took your love away,
And left me with nothing,
So, I'm left here so empty,
Full of doubt and confusion.

The emptiness is hard to bear,
Someday harder than others,
But the truth is,
No one can help me,
Not even my Mother.

It's something I have to face alone,
That's a simple fact,
Because I know your not in love with me anymore,
And I can never have you back.

But I wish one day that you would realize,
I'm the one that loves you most,
And then we could be together,
And make a little toast.

A toast to you,
A toast to me,
We could live happily ever after,
And baby makes three.

But that day will never come,
It's hard for me to believe,
But I know that you love another,
Even though she is there to decieve.

One day I hope you'll wake up,
And realize I'm the one,
Because I will always be here,
Even after your mind is done.

I hope that day comes, but if it doesn't,
I'll still be here waiting,
Alone - dreaming,
Anticipating.

Just so you know, because I love you so,
I will be there till the end,
If not lovers and companions,
Always your BEST FRIEND!My inibility to be in peace makes me restless
This object in my way makes the same occurace
Night after night after night
Making my mind twisted, and frustrated
Though I may not know what is happening
I do know that my ability to cope with it
Is wearing thin
Its horrible to not be able to understand
Especailly when it is yourself you can not comprehend
Trying to see a light that is too dim to see
Leaves me with nothing but frustrating thoughts
Just as I think I have the answers
New things appear 
And further scramble the old questions
That still remain...unanswered
Why must things be this way?
Why must the questions you so badly need answers for...
Have to be such a challenge to figure out
To answer
To make peace
Not only with the world
But mostly
Yourself
I feel as if the more i try to deal with
The more I become confused
Not knowing what you want....
What you need
I'm confused beyond belief
I feel as if
Even the most intelligent person in this universe
Could not possibly work out my equation
The equation of my mind
I can't even analize my own thoughts
I highly doubt any individual could do that for me
That's a task I would never dream of asking anyone to do
To feel as I do would be like a puzzle
One that could never be put together
Never be attempted at
The very sight would make someone crumble and fall
I often feel that way myself
I still stand
I stand and try and cope as best I know how
Sometimes I feel it should be the end
But I remember those I love
And know they care for me
They believe in me more than i do 
If they only knew
I wish I did...There are so many thoughts
Racing through my head
I wish I could stop them
Shoot them down...dead
I don't know what I'm thinking
I'm going insane
But no one can help me
I need to scoop out my brain
I wish there were some way
To just make peace
Make my thoughts go south
Like a flock of geese
Take all my troubles
Roll them into a ball
Then just recycle them
They're bound to come back, after all
I know I can't rid of them
I'm just tired right now
So much needs to happen
I don't know what, or how
I don't know what I need
I'm so lost, so confused
I try different solutions
But they're too stupid, too dumb to use
So for now I'll just sleep
Till i think of something to do
After all this is my life
It won't stop, i'll have to make due.Sitting here
I feel so alone
No one to talk to
No one to phone
Nothing to watch
Nothing to do
And all that I think of
Is that I really like you
I thought you liked me
One time before
But I don't think 
You feel the same anymore
After that one night
You've been constantly in my mind
You were so awesome
You were so kind
You treated me
As if I was yours
And when I went home
I wanted much more
I wanted to be back there
I wanted to hug you
My mind was all messed up
I didn't know what to do
All these feelings 
Were running though my head
While lay there
Alone in my bed
I don't know why
But I wanted you there
I wanted you to run
Your fingers through my hair
I wanted you to tell me
That you feel the same way
But lately we hardly talk
I don't know what so say
Did something happen
That I might have forgot
I want to know
How to untie this knot
Is it just me
Or something I said
Did something go wrong
Was there something I did
The next day
You hardly talked
I was wondering why
You seem so locked
I was so excited
To see you that day
And I thought
That you'd be the same way
But you hardly looked at me
Hardly said anything at all
And I really wanted a hug 
After I got that call
But all you did was look at me
And say "are you alright?"
You kept your distance, no hug
Did you forget the previous night?
The next day I waited for you
To get off the bus
Because there was one thing
I wanted to discuss
I wanted to know why
You ated wierd the day before
But I forgot everything
As soon as I saw you at the door
So now I want to know
If you feel the same way
Because if you don't, then what was that
On that one day?
I guess part of me doesn't wanna know
What the answer might me
But I really wanna know
If you actually like me
I just want to know
Because it's rattling my brain
And if I don't know soon
I'm gonna go insane. hate not knowing what to do
I hate knowing what to do
I hate knowing that I let you down
Even though I didn't mean to

I hate being so confused
I hate it when you're sad
I hate it because I'm always the person
That seems to make someone mad

I like it better when I'm happy
I like it better when you are too
But it's really hard to stay happy
When I don't know what to do

I don't know what to tell you
I don't know what to do
I know what you want and I wish I could make it better
But...i just can't do that for you.

I hate seeing you like this
I hate being like this too
But once in a while you're gonna hear something
You just don't want to

You mean so much to me
I know I mean alot to you too
You're my absolute best friend
But I don't know what you want me to do

I knew what I had to say
I knew what I had to do
I knew that it would make you sad
But I never wanted it toI hate this so much
The anger i feel
I hate this so much
I wish it weren't real
I hate this so much
I hurt him so bad
I hate this so much
I think of him and I'm mad
I hate this so much
I wish he would leave
I hate this so much
Like you wouldn't believe
I hate this so much
But I don't hate him
I hate this so much
The light is so dim
I hate this so much
I just want to scream
I hate this so much
This is the worst dream
I hate this so much
It's not a dream at all
I hate this so much
Why must i have to fall
I hate this so much
The answers are so far away
I hate this so much
Things aren't ok
I hate this so much
But I don't know what I hate
I hate this so much
Theres so much on my plate
I hate this so much
I'm totally lost
I hate this so much
I don't know what this will cost
I hate this so much
I'm just so mad
I hate this so much
How did things get so bad?
I hate this so much
I don't want to hate you
But most of all what I hate
I don't know what to doI always said that it would never happen
And now I'm afraid it did
For a while I just tried to hide it
By a little joke or kid
I haven't told him this yet
About the feelings that I feel
I don't want to let him know
Until I know they're real
I'm not really sure
What I'm feeling right now
I want to tell him,
But I'm not sure how
And I'm not sure
If it's a good thing to do
But it makes me wish that I was his
When ever he says I love you
I think he feels the same for me
As I do for him
But everytime I feel like telling him
I don't know where to begin
So I just drop it 
And just leave it alone
I really wish I could tell him
When we talk on the phone

Just say we go out
Will anything change??
Will we still be the best of friends??
Will that still remain??
And what if we broke up
Would we still be friends?
Or would it be too awkward
And would that be the end?
So many things could happen
I don't know what to do
I'm scared, confused
And really messed up too
All this is got me thinking
It's rattling my brain
What if all this ends up to be
Is a bucket full of pain

But he's the best guy
The sweetest guy I know
And if no one knows that now
I'll tell them so
He's always there when I need him
Even late at night
He was always there whenever
Me and dickhead got in a fight
He always makes me feel better
And calls me every day
And always says I'm beautiful
In each and every way
I feel a sort of connection
Between him and I
Does this mean we should go out
Should we give it a try?
What if he is really the one
What if we were meant to be
But what if we're not
And pain is brought to me
Everytime I think a good thought
In return I have a bad
So I get all excited
Then I get all sad
I'm just so confused
And I don't know what to do
I wish I could talk to my best friend
But that brings a problem too
I'd ask him for advice
But it's advice on him
And if I were to do that
I might as well just tell him
I'll figure out something
Like I always manage to do
And one day he'll know I'm not just being friendly
When I say "I love you too"
   
What did I do to deserve you
What did I say to make you look my way
How did you fall into these arms
I think of that each and every day

How did someone so sweet
Get to be mine
How did I get someone
So delicate so fine
Why did someone so great
Get sent to little ol' me
How did this miricale
Ever come to be
No one in this world
Could ever be so...you
No one in this world
Could ever possibly do
If I could ask for anything
You know what it would be?
I would ask to be together forever
Till the day we die, you and me.

Your eyes are the most amazing eyes
That I've ever seen
You arms is the most amazing place
That I've ever been
Listening to your voice
Makes me want to listen for hours
Smelling the scent of your cologne
Is better than the scent of flowers
I wish I could be with you
Every minute of every day
I wish you could hold me
And would never go away
I wish we could kiss
And our lips would never let go
I wish words could express
How much I love you so

Look at you, there are no words
To describe what I see
I feel so lucky, so honored
That out of everyone, you picked me
I know I've said this many times
And I only say it because it's true
I must have done someting extremely good
For God to give me you
You're more than I could ever ask for
You mean the world to me
And when we're alone, just me and you
There's no place I'd rather be
In your arms is where I want to be
From now until the end of time
I just wish for only me to be yours
And for you to be forever mine

I wish for youTomorrow's the day
We're supposed to spread love
And be thankful for what we were given
By the spirits above
I truly am thankful
I really really am
But right now all I can do
Is try as hard as I can
It's hard to try and keep something
That the other half doesn't want
And it's hard to act like nothing happened 
You know you just can't
It's hard to look into his eyes
And pretend everything's "okay"
It's hard to say that I think
He's throwing "us" away
What if he decides to trow
Eleven months away?
If that were to happen
You know what I'd say?
I don't know....I'm lost
There would be would be no words for what I would feel
I'd have to smack myself
To make sure it was real
I really hope that nothing happens
And we both are fine
I just don't know what I'd do
If he weren't mineI just want to cry
When I think of that guy
I just want to cry
When I ask myself why
I just want to cry
When I think of how he is to me
I just want to cry
Because of how he's choosing to be
I just want to cry
Because I'll never get him back
I just want to cry
Because of the happiness I lack
I just want to cry
Because I don't understand
I just want to cry
Because us I cannot mend
I just want to cry
Because I'm losing him
I just want to cry
I'm so afraid of the end
I just want to cry
I can't hold on anymore
I just want to cry
I wish things were as they were before
I just want to cry
There's a hole in my heart
I just want to cry
I don't know where to start
I just want to cry
I don't know what to do
I just want to cry
Because he'll never again say, I love you...What do you do when someone likes you
And you don't know what to say
When you know you like them back
But not in the same way.
What do you do when they pour their heart out
And you just sit there and stare?
You know it was the sweetest thing
But really it got them no where.
What do you do when you want to say
This just won't work out
But realize you can't say that at all
Because in your mind there's some doubt
What do you do when you just don't know
But you really wish you did
It's times like this I start to wish
That once again I was a kid.
What do you do when you know me means well
But you don't know what's going on
Your confused beyond all belief
You just don't want your friend to be gone.
What do you do when the feelings are there
But you don't want them to be true
But what's really got meright now is
I just don't know what to do...It's hard to explain how i feel
When I don't know at all
It's hard to try and catch me
When I don't know why I fall
It's hard to make me feel good
When I don't know why i'm sad
I know you try hard
But I still feel bad
You make me feel good
But still the bad things don't go away
I wish I could make them stop
I just don't know what to say
I know that one day
Everything'll be fine
But all I want back
Is what's rightfully mine
I want my life back
It's mine to enjoy
And it shouldn't be taken away
Just because of a boyYou wake up and think
"I don't belong"
"This world would be better
If I was gone"
You might think you're ugly,
Too skinny, to fat
And I'm telling you this
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!!
Everyone that loves you
Doen't care how you look
They love you for who you are
Not judging by the cover that's on your book
For all those people out there
I'm begging you please
Stop thinking bad thoughts
Such as these
Your beautiful, talented
Caring, and strong
That's why you're still here
And not yet gone
No one is perfect
No one at all	
So why should you care
If your too short or too tall
So please don't be
No one but you
And start realising
Your a great person too"Just don't talk to me!"
That's what I wanna say
"Just don't open your mouth"
Just for one day...
Just leave me alone
I'm not two years old
I think by now I know
To do what I'm told
Sure I was forgetful
But I know what to do!
IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD ALREADY!
Do I look like I'm two?
You bug me so much
Till I just start to cry
I get so pissed off
And I don't really know why
I never thought I'd say this
But I don't wanna be here
I want to be anywhere
Where HE is not near
So now what do I do
Do you think I should talk?
Or should I see if it passes
If this little mood takes a walk
I don't know what's happening
I don't know why I'm this way
I just know it's making me upset
More and more each day.
So just leave me alone!
No more smart comments please
Just for a little while
Please....please....please.....I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
Why do I feel already
I'm falling in love with you...
I know I just got out of something
I never thought would end
And through the whole thing
You've been nothing but a good friend
Now I look at you and think wow
Why didn't I see this before?
And now I think, but still don't know
If I want "this" to be more
We've both been going through some very rough times
And we've made each other feel good
And I would go to wherever you are right now
If I knew that I could
All I ever think of
Is you, you....you
And no matter how many times I think about it
I still don't know what I should do
I would do anything right now
Just if i could give you a kiss
I never thought that me and you
Would ever be like this
THis whole little poem might not be making
That much sense to you
But then again, oh I don't know...
Maybe you feel the same to
It would be amazing if I could be with you
Day, after day, after day
But maybe, what if, by any chance
I just temporarily feel this way?
I know what your thinking now
This doesn't make much sense
Just think of me, as a little sheep
That can't figure out how to jump over the fence
I'm nothing but confused
I sit here and rack my brain
Me heart is pumping like a million rain drops
Hitting a single window pane
When I'm with you it all goes away
And I never want you to leave
I could sit on the phone for hours
Just listening to you breathe
When I look into your blue eyes
I never want to look away
It's almost like this is an amazing game
I always want to play
I think of you all day long
And do nothing but smile
I haven't really felt like this
In such a long while
All I hope is if something happens
It will happen sometime soon
That's what I wished last night
When we were watching that cartoon
And then you had to leave
And for some reason I wanted to cry
You are absolutely, positively
The most amazing guy
All I know is I feel something
Very, very strong
And I just want to know
If I'm doing anything wrong
I guess the only way to know
Is to know how you feel
And maybe, who knows
We might have something real.You know that feeling 
That you feel
When you know that
Something's real
You just know it
You feel it there
All around 
And in the air
You know that feeling
Deep inside
It gets so stong
You just can't hide
It puts a smile
On your face
And makes your heart
Rapidly race

I feel that feeling
The whole day though
When I'm with
Or thinking of you
You filled that emptiness
Inside of me
You gave me this fullness
I never thought could be
You always make sure
That I know
How much you care
And love me so
And if I didn't have
A guy like you
I really don't know
What I would do

You truly are
A part of me
A part that
Will always be
It will remain
Forever inside
And comes out often
It doesn't need to hide
I know this part
Will never die
I know this part
Will always fly
In my soul
Everyday
I love you so
In every way

You definetly are
The only one for me
I'm yours forever
I'll make you happy
It wouldn't be hard
To spend all my days with you
It wouldn't be hard
Everyday, to say I love you
I would love 
Every minute of my day
If you where there
We could always play
The best thing in the world
Would be waking up next to you
And watching you sleep
The whole night through

You really don't know
Just how much you mean to me
But one day I'm sure
You'll finally see
It might not be 
For a long time
But all I want
Is for you to be mine
I love you so much
In every way
I wish I could be with you
Every single day
I wish I could hug you
Every minute of every hour
I wish I could kiss you
Every morning in the shower

Maybe one day
This will all come true
And every day
I will be with you
I love you more
Than words can express
And it's not good enough
When I tell you you're the best
I need a better word
To describe how you are to me
But you're the best
And the nicest to me
I hope you realize
What you mean to me
And if you don't, I'll just say
I love you Mikie.Your stomach turns
Your kneed shake
You wonder how long
This is gonna take
They say "be patient
It'll happen soon enough"
But still nothing happens
You think they're a bluff
You look at the person beside you
Their face looks funny
So you laugh your ass off
Then think "stop laughing dummy"
It wasn't even that funny
In the first place
The person just had
A funny look on their face
You stand up
And your vision goes blurry
Over to the computer 
You quickly scurry
You look at the keyboard
You can't see all the keys
You think to yourself
Shouldn't there be more of these???
Suddenly you smile
From ear to ear
You laugh for no reason
Now it's perfectly clear
It's started to work
You think no one knows
But they all stare
When you laugh at your toes
Then someone says
Hey I think she's gone
You try to keep a straight face
And say "nothing's wrong"
Minutes seem like hours
Hours seem like days
You don't want this feeling
To ever go away
But a couple hours later
You're back to how you were before
And part of you is saying
I want more More MORE!!
But you slap yourself and say
Hey I had my fun
And for this night
I'm definetly doneI feel so different 
Now that he's gone
But I still act happy
Like nothing went wrong
Why am I not crying
Why am I not sad
Why am I not yelling
And showing that I'm mad
It's not like me
To keep my feelings inside
I don't know why
I choose to hide
Maybe I just knew it
I knew we weren't meant to be
I was just tired of him
Having a hold of me
I felt he was loosing intrest
More and more each day
I tried not to believe it
I just pushed my feelings away
He says he loves me
I don't know what to beleive
If he loves me so much
Then why did he leave
Why couldn't he just stop
And for once use his head
Maybe if he did that
Our relationship wouldn't be deadIs this really what I want
To happen with him and me
Is this really what should happen
Is there something I don't see
What he had before was real
And now seems to have dies
I thought about that yesterday
All I did was cry...I cried...
It's hard to believe that after so long
This could be the end
And what if now, after all of this
I end up losing a friend
I always said I couldn't live
Without the love of him
But I'd rather both of us be apart
Then his love for me be dim
Why do hearts have to be broken
By the ones you truly love?
Why do things keep piling up
When you've just had enough?
Why can't things go the way you want
And just flow like you want them too?
Why when people help you out
You still don't know what to do
I know what I think I want
But I don't know how to do it
I can't think about his problem
Without waning to take a fit
Relationships die every day
And millions of hearts are broke
And now I sit here and live through
My relationship going up in smokeEvery time I think about it
All I want to do is cry
It feels like he's slowly drifting
Every day that goes by
And what's driving me insane
IS that there's nothing I can say
There's nothing I can do
To prevent him from feeling this way
I know we're still together 
But what he doesn't see
Is that every day he drifts further
I loose a piece of me
Every piece of him
Is a part of me too
And I never thought he'd say nothing
When I say "I love you"
He says I should understand
The way he was feeling
That I should know
Every feeling he is conceiling
But how can I know
What does he want me to say
How can I know
When I've never felt that way
I could say I understand
But what a lie that would be
It's just something impossible 
That I cannot possibly see
He thinks he understands
The way I feel inside
But if he understands so much
Why does he tell me not to cry
How can he sit there
And say I shouldn't be sad
When infact what he wants me to be
Is stifling mad
How could I be mad
About something like this
It's nothing that can be helped
It can't be cured with a kiss
I know he didn't want this to happen
He wanted everything to be ok
The same thing I've wanted
Day after day after day
Last night I looked up 
I said God please help me out
Help me understand 
What all this hassle is all about
Please give me the strength
To live this thing through
And help me figure out
What it is he wants me to do
I want to be with him
For the rest of my life
I want to move in with him
And someday be his wife
I want him to be my first
I want to hug him every day
I want him to kiss me on the forehead
And tell me everyting'll be ok
I might be asking alot
But God, i just don't understand
Things were so great, so perfect
Since the day WE began
Even though I saw it there
I just didn't want to believe
I didn't want him to get bored
And just get up and leave
I want him to be there
When I need him the most
I want him to wake me in the morning
With some eggs and some toast
I want him to be there when I'm 75
I want to be with him
For as long as I'm alive
I will do everything
Everything I could ever do
To get back the times
The times we had, times two
I want him to be happy
I hate it when he's sad
I want him to laugh
I hate it when he's mad
I just wish I could hug him
And say everything's gonna be ok
But I don't know what's been going on in his head
For the last few days
I know he's tried to tell me but
I still just don't see
What it is that made him
Loose so much love for me
He says it's nothing I did
But i still don't know
I just don't want him 
To get up and go
I'm gonna stick this out
Right till the end
And I hope the end
Isn't right around the bend
God give me the strength
The will power to save
The relationship we have
From going into a grave
I just want to love him
And for him to love me too
Because without him
I don't know what I'd do...
I'd be empty, unfulfilled
There would be no me
Just please give me back the way
Everything used to be...You don't know how I feel at all!
So don't act like you do!
You think you know my every thought?
Well, you don't have a clue!
You think you have it all wrapped up
Like you know what's in my mind
But if you acutally were inside my head
You know what you would find?
Half the shit you think up
Isn't actually true
That deep inside, even though I don't show it
I do have feelings for you
But the simple fact is there's not enough
To just have things your way
But that doesn't mean they'll never change
They might, someday
I'm trying to prepare you for the worst
Because I don't want to break your heart
But right when I thin I've gotten through
I find myself back at the start
I don't know what to say anymore
I don't know what to do
My biggest frear in the world
Is losing you
But I feel as if the only way 
You're going to be happy with me
Is if I am your girlfriend
And I don't want that feeling to be
But you make it really hard
When you look into my eyes
And tell me that you love me
You just don't realize
I wish I could say it back
But that just wouldn't be true
Pierce I do love you
But not the way you want me to
I can't even tell you that
The words just won't come out
But I'm the same with anyone
I just...can't get them out
It's like I have this fear
Deep down inside
And every time I think of saying it
My heart runs and hides
This has nothing to do with you
There's nothing wrong with you at all
I love it that you're here for me
And that you always call
I love hanging out
I love everything we do. 
And I know it would mean a lot
If I felt like you do
But you have to understand
That at a time like this
All the things in my mind
Aren't on some kind of list
Everything is thrown at me
One by one by one
Sometimes I find it hard
To have any fun
But you make me feel better
Those bad thoughts go away
I can honestly say to you
That you brighten up my day
But sometimes I just...
Don't know what to do
You get all depressed
And I don't want you to
But anything i say
Never helps you out
Sometimes I cheer you up
You say I always do, that I doubt
I just wnat you to be happy
Is that so hard to see
And you can still be happy
If you're not going out with me!
The way I'm starting to feel
Is that you think friends aren't enough
And if that's true, then what?
That's what makes this rough
The bottom line is, i'm your friend
Whether you like it or not
I don't know what else to say
This is just what I thought
You have to understand that you don't know
What's going on in my head
I'm trying to feed you with all the information
That you can possibly be fed
I understand that thoughts are thoughts
But yours are different from mine
So stop putting words in my mouth
And everything'll be fine...I'm trapped within
The clouds of smoke
That you call love

Your essence is a desire
That imprisons my soul
I must have youI am just waiting to die
And I can not tell you why
This world gets the best of me
Filled with lies and hypocrisy
Caught in this self-destructive web
Feeding off voices in my head
I am just waiting to die
And I can not tell you why
Playing this devilish game
Striving for virtue and a name
Losing this fight with reality
Climbing the rungs to insanity
I am just waiting to die
And I can not tell you why
Seeking out the kiss of death
Wishing there was nothing left
Confused about how I see
Are they wrong or is it me?
I am just waiting to die 
And I can not tell you why
Misery my crown of shame
Sorrow my only fame
A picturesque heretic
Neurotic and often frantic
I am just waiting to die
And I can not tell you why
My time shall come to reign
No more sadness; no more pain
There is no reason why
I just want to dieThe spider kissed the moon
This happened none too soon
They longed to embrace
This witching hour chase
And the spider kissed the moon
This happened none too soon
The moon longed for her bed
To be of the spider's thread
And the spider kissed the moon 
This happened none too soon
Atop her silvery crown
Amidst her celestial gown
The spider kissed the moon
This happened none too soon
And so with star dusted lips
And angelic fingertips
The spider kissed the moon
This happened none too soon
With the beams of ebb and flow
And the threads of reap and sow
The spider kissed the moon
This happened none too soon
The moon as flow and ebb
The spider as weaver and web
They kissed none too soon
The spider and her fair moon
I want to love
But know I can't
I could love
But know I shant
I see it there
But can't accept
I know that I could
But, I'm not ready yet
I'm actually scared
Don't really know why
I'm liking my life
Without a guy
Taking each day
Living it on my own
Sometimes it's a lot
I think I need a clone
But then I sit and think
How nice it would be
To have someone to hug
Someone to be there for me
But I can't
Can't do it right now
If the situation surfaced
I wouldn't know how
I have to resist
This, I just can't do
It's not that he's a bad guy
I just don't want to
I know he knows this
But what I also know
Is it takes a superhero
To not let your feelings showI want to love
But know I can't
I could love
But know I shant
I see it there
But can't accept
I know that I could
But, I'm not ready yet
I'm actually scared
Don't really know why
I'm liking my life
Without a guy
Taking each day
Living it on my own
Sometimes it's a lot
I think I need a clone
But then I sit and think
How nice it would be
To have someone to hug
Someone to be there for me
But I can't
Can't do it right now
If the situation surfaced
I wouldn't know how
I have to resist
This, I just can't do
It's not that he's a bad guy
I just don't want to
I know he knows this
But what I also know
Is it takes a superhero
To not let your feelings showThe world today
The way is seems
That only good things
Are in dreams
The true happiness
That should be there
That should be flowing
Through the air
Only exists 
In our minds
Take a look outside
What do you find?
I see a world
Full of hate
I see a world
That has too much on it's plate
A world that's filthy 
A world we call home
I want to make a difference
But i can't act alone...I don't know what's happeneing
But I like it a lot
This is just so amazing
It's nothing like i thought
I don't know if i'm ready
When i'm with him i am
But as soon as I leave
I start thinking again
He makes me foget about being sad
And depressed and confused
Instead he makes me feel good
Needed, happy, amused
The way that he holds me
Ah..You could never know
I could just fall asleep
I never want to let go
I wish i knew what i was feeling
I hate being locked inside
I wish i could tell what's going on
I know my heart wants to hide
Because I am really scared
I don't want this to happen again
I don't want to get hurt
That's the bad part about men
I don't think i could go through
What i went through before
I'm not saying this is the one!
But i'm afraid to want moreDaddy daddy
dont you love me?
Daddy daddy
was i bad?
Daddy daddy
Am i the one you wish you never had?
Daddy daddy
What did i do?
Daddy daddy
Why could'nt you have need'ed me, like i need you?Its quiet and its breezy
as i sit in front of a grave,
i stare at the markings
and i look at the name.
Then my throat gets choked up
and my eyes cannot see.
For the tears that are in them are blinding me
i can sit here for hours
and not make a sound
i keep staring aty the name
and the flowers in the ground
there's nothing i can say
there's nothing i can do
but Kelly how i wish this 
wasnt you!
My eyes are filled with water
as i stand and walk away
oh what an awful place for 
Kelly to have to stay.Nightmare nightmare
Come and meet me
I'm your freak friend PCP
Supergrass shooting high
The bomb ticking dont you cry
Anesthetic crystal white
Smoke it, toke it, deadly flight,
Paranora overdose
Heart beat pumping 
Now your lost
Shoot me, lose me, one more head, 
Now i've got you come on dead!Daddy daddy
dont you love me?
Daddy daddy
was i bad?
Daddy daddy
Am i the one you wish you never had?
Daddy daddy
What did i do?
Daddy daddy
Why could'nt you have need'ed me, like i need you?We are so close and yet so far

The songs for you played on guitar

You are my everlasting & shining star

I shall love you near or far

I'll take you any way even in a bar

Even covered in tar

Just as long as you promise to be who you are

I can never remove you from my endless repertoire

You're all I want in my final hour

My love for you shall never retire

It burns like an eternal fire

Our love soars higher than a chapels spier

Without you things just seem so dire

I pray these feelings never expire

I swear I'm not a lier

To be with you is what I aspire

You electrify me like a wire

I can't help it, it's you I admire

Next to you my hearts a frequent flier

You are all I desire

Without you I'd dive into a burning fireI'll never forget holding you

I'll never stop loving you

I never want to let go of you

You're everything through and through

For you there's nothing I wont do

I just know you love me too

In each others hands we flew

With you my skies are blue

I'll stick to you like glue

With one another there's nothing we can't do

To you I'll always be true

My love for you I shall always pursue

Our relationship is brand new

It's our loves debut

If anyone felt like this it's so very few

To feel like this is so overdue

Each day my love for you renew

This can never be misconstrue

Never again shall the world seem askew

From now on it's just us two

My heart eternally belongs to youI'll never forget each loving kiss

Being with you alone is bliss

I only thought I could dream of this

When we're apart I can't help but miss

I don't care if they take the piss

For the rest of my life you I'll reminisce

Without you there's just an endless abyss

Our families know even her sis

Never shall she hear the devils hiss

I'll try so hard she'll never miss

All she'll know is eternal bliss

I'll never forget her angelic kiss

Her breath on my lips

Our own abyss

Nothing shall ever again be for her amiss

She stole my heart and this is itI doubt anyone has felt as yo

If they have it has to be so few

So why does this feel so overdue

I just know our love I'll peruse

It just feels so true

What else can we do

This is our loves debut

Our hearts renewed

Just us two

Our fears we slew

Together there's nothing we can't go through

Our love shall never be reviewed

I'm sticking to you like glue

You make my skies so clear and blue

Together there's nothing we can't do

I'll always be here for you

Please don't misconstrue

Call our adieu

Forever just us two

Our worlds less askew

My heart belongs to you

It's my heart you drew

You made it so strong and true

Never again shall you feel blue

We've started anew

I was born to tell you I love you

I'll do what I have to

To make it just us two

Out love I'll pursue

Our hearts renew

The world askew

My pain withdrew

In one another's hands we flew

To you I'll be true

With loves debut

You're such an angelic view

I'll stand by you what ever you do

What ever we go through

To you I'll stay true

I don't care if others misconstrue

Our love will just renew

Never to be review

All our pains together we slew

The people before us have only been so few

If others could only feel, if the only knew

In each others hands the skies are blue

You can see right through

My head is spinning

And I can't see

My hair is falling

I don't look like me

My feet are swollen

From running away

My mouth is broken

I've got nothing left to say

My fingers are aching

And I can't feel

My legs are getting tired

Is this coldness real?

My joints are ridgid

And wearing away

Too much time has been wasted

I forgot yesterday

Words mean nothing

When they are hollow

And now theres no one 

In this world i would follow

Because this world isnt big enough 

For you and me

Which one will fall first

Wait and see.If my heart was beating

It would only speak your name

And I'll just keep on dreaming 

Until you feel the same

If my heart was burning

You would put it out

Running to my rescue

I wouldn't need to shout

If my heart was crying

You would wipe each tear

''Nothings gonna hurt you''

You would whisper in my ear

But still things are different 

you are just a friend

but there's nothing wrong in dreaming

That I Love You. The End.I will sleep right next to you tonight,

I will wipe each cheek as you cry through the night.

I will sit with my arm around you stroking your head,

Wait till you fall asleep on the floor i'll make my bed.

I will calm you down during your nightmares,

And tell you Im the main person that truely cares.

Wait till you close your eyes once again.

Stare at your innocent face and think how you looked back then.

No sleep I will get just to make sure.

That you know Im never going to leave through that door.

Now is the morning and your awake.

You smile at me through your hair now knowing my love isnt fake.

Now we'll hold hands until its time to face reality.

So to us we'll be holding hands for eternity.Its hard to turn away

When you have to close your eyes first

Thats something you dont wanna do

Cuz it makes you think the worst


Its hard to let go

When you always have to say goodbye

Which you dont wanna do

Cuz you know you'll cry


Its hard to accept

Accept the things you deny

But you cant smile forever

When we all know its a lie


Its never healthy to pretend

When you moan about how nothings real

Open your eyes be afraid

Now you know how i feelIts hurts to say hello

Because it leads to a goodbye

And when it comes to that

I'll feel stupid if I cry

It hurts to see you wave

Because I'd rather hear your voice

And sooner or later you'll be out of sight

And I dont have a choice

Its hurts too much to run

But if i dont it'll seem like i dont care

If i dont i'll regret it

And the regret i cant bare

It hurts to say how i feel

Because of how much i want it to be you and me

Because believe me your all I know

Your all I'll ever be.

You break my heart

To save your own

But your the one

Who will die alone

Your cut my veins 

To save yourself the pain

But pretending its not your fault

Will give you nothing to gain

You put me in front of you

To save you from the bullet

But the trigger was pulled by someone

And im the one that pulled itOpen your eyes

And you will see that your wrong

And your the reason 

I turn to a song

Try and understand

And maybe you'll find a friend

Maybe in a lifetime

Because the problems never end

Put up your hand

And try to admit

That im not the only reason

We're stuck in the middle of it

Try not to blame me

Blame me too much for your life

Because i know how much you hate me

For all your worry and stife

Try and forgive

However hot it may burn

Because I've had many tests

And you've got a few more lessons to learn

Try and know

I'm not the bad guy

And that when it comes to night

Your not the only one that'll cry

Try, just try

And don't give up this time

Because no matter what we're family

And we're a family that's mine

Just try.

I wish away the pain

That we both have to share

The pain that makes you stubborn

And makes it seem like i dont care

I wish time was different

And that we could mix it up

Because then we'd all have a chance

Instead of just giving up

I wish that you didnt hate me

And didnt blame me for you being sad

Because im sorry for all the trouble i caused

And for all the times i made you mad

I wish that i had a simple wish

To wish everyones pain away

But honestly nothing in the world can do that

Unless you find your on wayI love it when I hear your voice

and when you look into my eyes

The way you make my heart just stop

and how all the hatred dies

The music I hear inside my ears

when you put your lips to mine

and the way you make my knees go weak

The way you do that every time.

the way I know you'd die for me

and how I'd die for you

the way I love you excessively

and the way you love me to.

The way my heart broke in two

when a man pushed you down to the floor

I saw the light drown out your eyes

and I knew you would be kissing me no more.

the way it tore my life apart

and the memories that kept playing

the times you said you'd die for me

and how the times, just weren't changing

the way I'd die for you just as much 

and how I cant bare to be without you

one last breathe and I'm pulling the trigger

I love you. I love you too.

I could just lay,

And close my eyes tight.

Because then I could sleep for a while,

Instead of being beaten in this fight.

I could bleed,

And watch it flow for a while.

Think of what im escaping

And have that last smile.

Say goodnight to you finally,

Make sure you know how i thankyou.

For pulling me up so many times,

And for always saying 'i love you'

I could just let go,

Because none of you deserve my pain.

So wake up happy,

To find its just my memory that remains.I could just lay,

And close my eyes tight.

Because then I could sleep for a while,

Instead of being beaten in this fight.

I could bleed,

And watch it flow for a while.

Think of what im escaping,

And have that last smile.Your shaking hands,

Show your insecurity inside.

Your sweat down the side of your face,

Shows you have something to hide.

They way you lash out,

Shows how youve just had enough.

And the way you break down to tears,

Makes me realise your finding life tough.

When you shake my arms around off,

I know you wanna be on your own.

But i know you look as i walk out the room,

I know your scared of being alone.

The way your so fragile,

and put yourself in your own stubborn shell.

I've known you since before i could walk,

So i know when youve had enough believe me i can tell.

They way you break my heart,

When i look at each bloodshot eye.

You tell me tonights the night,

Tonight's the night your going to die.

They way you make laugh,

To think im going to let you go that easy.

I've known you since before i could walk,

But you obvisiously dont know me.

The way you make me cry,

Because im ''38 years to late''.

But if i have to ill stay up all night,

Ill stay up forever, can you and your deathwish wait?

They way you break my heart,

When i look at each bloodshot eye.

You tell me tonights the night,

Tonight's the night your going to dieIt's harder to be inches away,

When you dream of reaching it everyday.

It's harder to know i just gave up,

Because things got just a little tough.

It's harder to know the situations' the same,

And you dont even try to help, a broken person remains.



It's harder to be stuck to the spot,

Because I cant bare the world, ill admit, im scared a lot.

Its harder to watch it all cruble to the ground,

Spending eternity, with ashes, and ruins, being the only one around.

Who'd ever thought 

It would be 

And that theres a chance

To be happy



Who'd ever thought

There would be a light

That would shine just as bright

In the middle of the night



Who'd ever thought

That times can be great

That you could hold on to them

You could never be too late



Who'd ever thought

This world was just a dream

Where everything was finally free

And no one wanted to leave.



Maybe one day.

Taking your heart to the limit,

Risking everything inside it.

Its life or love for me now,

This life is grown up enough to live without me by now.

See what I do for you,

But i guess you can say im blinded by love and theres nothing i can do.

Promise me you wont leave my side,

Ive given it all up for you i even gave up my pride.

I can be an idiot sometimes i know,

But ive been waiting a lifetime for a reason to go.

And when you offered out your hand,

I thought you were the only person that would understand.

But we are still running from our family,

Still running for what feels like a century.

I guess this what happens when you dedicate yourself to your heart,

Everything you ever had ends up riped apart.

Tell me to understand,

When you know as much as me.

Tell me to give it up,

But being just like you is someone i dont want to be

Tell me you've had enough,

Then why do you keep coming back.

Tell me to grow up,

When its common sense you lack.

Tell me your sorry,

But it doesnt work that way.

Tell me fine you dont care anymore,

Your so confusing think before you say.

Tell me your always there for me,

When I did the things you couldnt be bothered to do.

Tell me that we're blood,

When i no longer know you.

Tell me no more and tell me to go,

Watch me walk out that door because you told me to do so.

Tell me how it feels to know you pushed it away,

And now were both sitting somewhere alone, finally with nothing to say.

Take my hand,

Hold it tight.

Run, no looking back,

We're gonna jump tonight.

Smile at each other

As me we grasp one anothers hand.

Look down curious

At where we are soon to lay

Grasp tighter

Just to make sure we're both going to go the same way.

Deep last breathe

Heart beats with excitement

Say I love you one more time

And how much you meant

Close my eyes 

Because i wanted you to be my last sight

My stomach churns with nerves

We jumped tonight.

Taking her time,

''I'm Grabbing everything that's mine''.

She's not stupid

Expect in believeing in cupid.

Because this just a broken heart,

And she played the wrong part.

Now stuck in the state she's in,

The face in the mirror is ugly with sin.

You win some lose some,

She lost everything except the pain due to come.

But yet she'll still make a smile,

Cheer herself up for a while

Thinking of the good times instead of sitting in self pity

She turns her back proud and wonders around the city

She's ready

She's steady

She's grown up, she's fixed. shes gonna stand alone

She's ready

She's steady

She's no longer scared.I missed you

Even though you were there right next to me.

You looked at me square in the eyes

And the real you I still couldnt see.

Your were a stranger to my heart,

Which hurt like hell, coz' i knew we'd drift apart.

I just hoped it wouldnt be now

I guess i hoped it would never come to it somehow.

But this just proves

That good memories have fast moves.

Time is precious and its wasting away

Those three years went by yeaterday.

Now we dont if say a simple hi

I guess the last thing that we'll every say to each other again is goodbye.Tell everyone I know

That they were on my to-do list.

I just had better things to get on with,

Sorry though for all the pain i missed.

Tell everyone I know,

I was getting to it

I just needed to clean mirrors

So you wouldnt see my secret face in it

Tell everyone i know

Thank you, you gave me the confidence

To turn and jump

To die without consequence

Tell everyone i know,

I love you

But living and breathing the same air

Is something me and my lungs cant do

Tell everyone i know

It wasnt done out of selfishness

It was me trying to do everyone a favour

And let them walk away with no mess.

Tell everyone i know

It was gonna happen sooner or later.The guitar strings slide across my skin.

Smooth and sharp.

The guitars strings move down with my finger.

Burning white.

The guitar strings screech as i push harder.

Knuckles are too burning white.

The guitar strings are stronger than me

Unbreakable.

The guitar strings are like you

Under my skin.

The guitar string are nothing like me, im

Unfixable.

The guitar strings are music to my life.

In my head.

Darkness wells before my bloodshot eyes, 

Icy rain falls from cloud-ridden skies, 

The eerie moon peaks from behind its veil 

As i step forward but my courage fails. 

 

I regain my balance and hold the railing, 

The icy cold reinforces my failing. 

The coldness stabs at my hand and makes it sore, 

And from my eyes warm tears pour. 

 

Rolling gently down my careworn face, 

I hang my head heavy in disgrace. 

They mingle with rain, warm and cold. 

I must do it! I must be bold. 

 

I feel like i'm trapped in this inescapable hell, 

A prisoner in a modern-age cell. 

Mobile phones, computers, mp3s and TV. 

Just some many more ways to bully me. 

 

Back at the rail and looking down, 

My face a grimace of a heavy frown. 

Eyeliner cascades down my cold cheek 

I'm not a person...i'm a freak. 

 

I just want now to end it all, 

To go over the rail and fall and fall. 

The tarmac below seems open and black, 

Like a crack in the Earth to prevent attack. 

 

I must do it now, i need to die, 

To leave this world and not cry 

Tears of torment, tears of pain, 

To leave this hell and not return again. 

 

My stinging hand leaves the icy bar 

And far below i see a lonely car. 

Its lights shining on the slick wet road 

Towing behind a heavy load. 

 

I lift my feet from the unfeeling stones. 

Cold air surrounds me and chills my bones. 

I throw myself forward into the night air. 

Into the nothingness and a life without care. 



I fly down, down towards the ground, 

Air buffeting my clothes the only sound. 

No scream flees me as i fall. 

I'll die dignified death, standing tall. 

 

I'm found on the road covered in frost 

The morning after my life was lost. 

Now gone from life and from my fears, 

Blood trails from my eyes...red frozen tears. It was the summer you got close to me

We jumped the gate and we were free

Hand in hand lips to lips

Our whole lives started with that kiss

Our own fairytale book

And the words you took

And suddenly you and me belonged



First kiss in the rain

No other kiss the same

Your the reason i lose control

And thats the chapter the summer turned cold

Cause she's the reason i had to let go



I live my life in a nightmare

My fairytale ashes in the air

I breathe it in but i choke

I try to stand and i fold

I want to breathe without breathing in blood

I start to cry and i start the flood

I hold the steel sharp on skin

I try to keep you out but you keep getting in



Your phone rings in the middle of the night

(Sorry babe i tried to do whats right)

They want to ask you about this girl

You lied to them told them i was your world

Sorry son she lost her life

To the rusted blade of a kitchen knife

But she left a letter here for you

Says " tell me what else i couldnt do"

You know much about this boy?

But the phone is dead theres no noise

And he swings from the roof just like a toy



He lived his life in a nightmare

His fairytale ashes in the air

He breathed it in he coughed he choked

He tried to stand he could only fold

He could never breathe without choking on blood

When he cried he started a flood

The rope is taut the rope is tight

He thought she knew she was his life.



Two bodies burried side by side

The broken boy and his fairytale wife

Inscripted on the grave pastor read

Two teenagers who lost their heads

Forgot about their real lives

And now they're fairytale ashes

Side by side.

Onto the sea

I sailed my boat

And prayed that it

Would stay afloat


From dawn till dusk

From dusk till dawn

In search of love

I drifted on


What happened then

I don't recall

I think it was

A sudden squall


For when I awoke

I thought I died

At the sight of an angel

At my side


But lucky for me

That was not true

For I found love

And love was you....The love I have now is like a dying ember, in the pouring rain

It’s only fuel, the strike of lightning

The feelings surrounding love can be frightening and the shock you feel is not delighting

For lighting may cause more flames, but the fires are of destruction and the shock unpleasant

I’d rather my love fade in the pouring rain than to be aroused and awaken by the shock of lightning again



To remember what was once a fire is now a flame

I ask the question “why does the flame die?”

Many ask the question none know why.

All I know that my love is now a flame stuck in the pouring rain never to burn brightly never to shine again



Pitter patter the flame dies, pitter patter the rain, tears from my eyes

Pitter patter I’ve drowned my love in sorrow

Pitter patter the flame is out my love knows no tomorrowLove is like a poison dagger, the pain lingers causing you to swagger.

Try to run, but you just stagger don’t you wishing you were never stricken by the dagger?

Screaming and crying in pain wishing you hadn’t loved in vain.

Now all your cries are cries of sorrow, the pain burns, you see no tomorrow.

Love has come and taken your life, confusion etched in your soul, your heart overflows with darkened strife.

Like fire hails down upon your now cold body, love has left you with nobody.

Pick yourself up from your fall, not another love, you have seen it all.

Never again to give your soul to another, never to love again, never again will love make your shudder.

Hardened now like stone, love had frozen you to the bone,

Life now seems worth it, when you are aloneThis love youve been giving me
A torture that kills me
Our future became our past
What happened to us
It's like theres no hope for this heart
I cant be that smart
It still hurtTake another hit, take a pill

Watch the lights and feel the thrill

Take a drag, blow the smoke

Hold it in, let it out

Take a line, hold the time

Loose the pain, drink the cane

Dance the floor till your sore

Take some more you little whore

Feel it take over, let it in

Insert the needle, push the pin

Come join the fun, feel numb

Get blown away, do it again another day

Feel high and fly

Say goodbye!I see you sad, i see you cry

i wonder why?

I grab a hold, my body bold



My tears swell but i must fight them back

I need to be strong and help you fight

I whisper words and kiss your sores



My heart does ache, it starts to break

How i feel i cant explain

But this i know i would fight and die to heal your painI hate how I feel, I long to be real

I fight back the tears and my long hard fears

I urge to cut, to add to the scares



I wish to scream and shout, let out what I once felt

But I sit there quiet and hold my tongue

Im loosing myself in what they think is fun



I hate how they stare and laugh at my style

I try to be normal but my heart is to emo

I dont wana be called names, do they even know what emo really means



So stand back and leave, or fall to your knees

I cant take it any longer I'm gona shoot up the trees

and watch you plead as I make you bleed



I'll feel off your flesh and laugh at your death

I know this is sick but im high on mythIm addicted to you

You run through my body enticing me

You pump up my heart rate and slow it down to one single beat



You give me chills and eletric pulses right down to my feet

Like fingers you creep and rip away all the pain and deceit

You fill my mind with memories of better times



You make me laugh and fell like I wana fly

You lift me up to touch the sky

You make me believe I can do anything, anything I wanna try



But when you fade away I start to cry

I claw and scream, my body bleeds

The aching and the pain it comes back to me



So I look for another line and suck it in

I insert the needle and push the pin

Im addicted to you, Heroine

So what we're emo, it's who we wana be

So stop going round saying we wanna cut and bleed

Since that's not what emo means



We're human beings too, we might look different but we have feelings too

Yeah we choose black over pink

But that doesnt make us out of sink



Or as you say a missing link

We can be happy too, so dont think because the way we look we're always gloom or that we live in cold dark tombs



We're proud to be emo, no matter what you say or do, but are you?

Since you go around making others feel small

I think your just scared to be different incase you fall



I dont think you couks handle the ridicule

So now who is the weak one

So leave us be, let us be free

Deep beneath the twelve foot sea
A mistress sleeps so tranquilly
A rusting ring sowed to her soul
On her body 'sbullet holes

Now hes waiting for her ghost
A gun to his head is lucifer hoax
A cigarette is burning bright
He's waiting for the suns first light

Where she lies she cannot see
She lays so still so patiently
Why shes dead her heart will know
The wind blows in the winter's snow

Now hes waiting for his demise
His wifes at home with tears in her eyes 
She doesnt know what he has done 
And now hes here just with his gun 
Its quiet and its breezy
as i sit in front of a grave,
i stare at the markings
and i look at the name.
Then my throat gets choked up
and my eyes cannot see.
For the tears that are in them are blinding me
i can sit here for hours
and not make a sound
i keep staring aty the name
and the flowers in the ground
there's nothing i can say
there's nothing i can do
but Kelly how i wish this 
wasnt you!
My eyes are filled with water
as i stand and walk away
oh what an awful place for 
Kelly to have to stay.Nightmare nightmare
Come and meet me
I'm your freak friend PCP
Supergrass shooting high
The bomb ticking dont you cry
Anesthetic crystal white
Smoke it, toke it, deadly flight,
Paranora overdose
Heart beat pumping 
Now your lost
Shoot me, lose me, one more head, 
Now i've got you come on dead!I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
Thoughts running through my head
They are all thoughts of you
The way you make me feel
It's just so...ah...cool
And when i think about you..
Excuse me while i drool
Your in my mind while i sleep
And when i'm awake
My brain can't function
I give my head a shake
Just thinking about you
Gives my body chills
And thinking about us
Just makes me thrilled
You are just so amazing
You're the best..the best for me
And I'm glad we were brought together
That you and me could be
I just want you to know
I wouldn't have this any other way
And I find myself liking you more
Each passing day
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
But what I do know is, i'm happy
Happy to be with youThere once was a time
I thought i was gone
There once was love in my heart
In a flash it was gone
It was taken away
With one big tug
And could not be put back
With a simple hug
But what i thought
Would never return
Again i am slowly
Starting to re-learn
Maybe it's not love
It's too soon to tell
But whatever it is
Feels like i'm under a spell
Whatever i do
He's in my head
Walking down the street
Laying in bed
Whatever this is
I like it alot
And I know that it's worth
Giving it a shot
So i'll ride this out
See how it goes
Will it turn into love?
Nobody knowsThere are so many things
I wish i could say
So many thoughts
Just want them away
I wish i was open
I wish i could feel
I wish i could figure out
If this is real
I just wanna know
I wanna find out
I can't think straight
I have so many doubts
So much has happened
Some good some bad
So many times
So many good ones i've had
So many feelings
Tossed here and there
So many different ways
I've learned how to care
So many people
So many feelings around
So many hearts stomped
Flat to the ground
So much love
And yet so many tears
So much comfort
And yet so many fears
So much confusion
Too much to tell
So much anger
It's hard not to yell
But this i will overcome
I once again will be whole
Once i find what i'm missing
The door to my soulTell me all your secrets
So I can spit them in your face
Stay with me forever
So I can leave you in disgrace
Tell me that you love me
So I can break your heart
Let me cut you slowly
To create the perfect art
I will cut a little deeper
I will reveal in the pain
I can be the soul keeper 
In my darkest domain
Why make you love me?
When I can make you die
Watch you from a distance 
As you start to cry
Yes, I?ll make you cry
I?ll make you fall apart
Until you finally see
This hole in my heart
I will push a little deeper
I will dance in the rain
I will fuck an angel
Oh god I love pain!Why do we live,
When there is no reason?
Why do we die,
When it is not are time?
why do we hate,
When there is no reason?
Why do we live,
When it is not are time?Totally out of control,
Totally off the wall,
Take some drugs,
Calm the nerves,
Spill some blood,
Do some years,
Move awaysay good bye,
Now your gone locked away,
Shead some tears,
Slash your wrists,
Kill yourself while your pissed!
The phone dials 911,
The ambulance is on the run,
Misery has taken its toll,
Its time to roll,
So far away its undercontrollStarkel starkel littel twink,
Who the hell are you, i think?
Im not under what you call ,
The alcoflunce of incohol,
Im just a littel slort of sheep,
Im not drunk like thinkel peep,
I dont know who is me yet,
But the drunker i stand here,
the longer i get,
So just give me one more fink,
To drill my cup,
Cause i got all sober to sunday up!Sleep comes to take me away,
Loneliness seems here to stay,
Visions dancing like young tree limbs,
Precious life that I?d give for him,
And suddenly, my blanket turns to stone.
I?m all alone
Shuddering within the darkness???


Shattered glass reveals the light,
Evades the darkness on the night,
Specks of dust swarm around the windowsill,
My bed is warm,
Yet I feel the chill,
I can see his face,
But I can?t recall his name,
Who?s to blame?
A soft caress,
I turn away,
Young at heart,
The children play,
Gasps of life soon fill the air,
My heart is weakened,
But I don?t care,
The blood has spilled,
Over fiery pits of hell,
I?ll never tell,some see a flaw
some see an ability
some see a power
some see a way of life
i see nothing
i see everything
i know it all

to forget must not dictate

some see a crime
some see a handicap
some see right
some see wrong
we all percieve variously

yours does not count, as does not mine

souls can not be shoved
yet convinced and guided
here comes the pain

pysch

some see it as looking down the barrel of a gun and it is all circumstantial
but it is kinda sorta 'commonly eccentric'

yet who gives a fuck?He is the absolute best thing
To ever come my way
Making my happiness greater
With each coming day
Filling my life with the love
I never knew of or thought i could have
Making me feel whole
Making me feel glad
Looking into his eyes
Gives me a feeling never known
The love he gives to me
Is something i've never been shown
Living each day knowing
That he is there, there for me
Fills me with so much joy
I never thought this could be
I never knew what it was like
To feel the way i feel
To feel a love so intense
For it to acutally be real
All your life you dream of love
Subconciously searching every day
Some come, then go, some seem to settle in
But never knowing if they'll stay
You sleep in fear
Awake, scared
Praying, hoping, and wishing
They will still be there
Then one day your fears vanish
Worrying is the last thing on your mind
Because you just found the most wonderful person
That you will ever find
The very thought of their smile
Puts a smile on your face
You call them 50 times a day
To say "i love you" just incase
Everywhere you go they're with you
You feel complete, full of love
This is the one you wished for
This is the one you dreampt of
You've never been so sure of anything
And it's only just begun
There are no words to describe the feeling
When you've found the oneBlank, nothing
This must be bad
Nothing, nowhere
Everyone sad
Worries, wonder
What's going on?
Terrorism? fire?
Something terribly wrong
Opening doors
People outside
The peaceful world
No longer hides
The sun sets
Darkness falls
The stars come out
The sky calls
Big bright eyes
Stare up above
So beautiful
A sky full of love
Just as you remember
Life is great
The world returns
To the world you hate
Opening doors
People inside
Back to their holes
Back to hide
Are we really happy?
Living this way?
In a Lazy world?
That we torture away?

I will always love this earth
And cherish the sky
I promise this to myself
Till the day i die
"Beautiful world,
I love you so
And unlike so many,
I will never let go.
Even though they ignore
I never will
And when i am old
I will love you still.
Even when i can't see
The beauty you posess
I still know its out there
Very gorgeous, none the less.
Please continue to share
Your beauty with me
Because i am different
As you already see."Expertly you broke into my world
Crashing into the depths of my lonely soul
Too eagerly i let you in, just one dazzling smile
You captured me for eternity, like te fool iam
I showed you all i had and gave it all to you
Like a child you showed off exposing for everyone
To see the treasures i gave you finally
Long into the night you caressed my weary mind
With words of forever and the promises of hearts to beat as one
But like the thief you really were
You quietly slipped away taking all i ever had to give with you
You left my world a lonely place to live
Never to returnREST IN PEACE Y'ALL NIGGERS THAT I NEVER KNEW
2PAC, EASY E, AND BIGGIG SMALLS TOO
I KNOW YOU HAD LOVE FOR ALL THE LITTEL G'S
AND YOU WERE ALWAYS THA BOMB WITH THE FINE LADIES
THE NIGHTS THAT YOU WERE TAKEN CAME WAY TOO SOON
LIKE THE SUN BLOCKED OUT BY THE SHADOW OF THE MOON
IT WAS'NT FAIR TO YOUR FAMILY, FANS, OR FRIENDS,
BUT YOU WAS ALL REAL G'S RIGHT DOWN TO THE END
THE GODFATHER OF GANGSTAR RAP THATS EASY E,
HE LIVES ON WITH HIS BOYS, BONE-THUGS-N-HARMONEY
BIGGIE HAD SKILLS YOU CANT DENY
YOU WANT REALITY LOOK ON THE COVER OF READY TO DIE
2PAC WAS A MAN WHO CAME BEFOR HIS TIME
WITH EVERY SONG HE TOOK LIFE AND TURNED IT INTO A RHYME
THESE MEN ARE JUST THREE OF THOUSE WHO SUFFERED THIER FATE
BECAUSE OF THIER IGNORANCE, GREED, AND HATE,
THAT SPOLLUTES OUR WORLD AND EATS OUR SOULS
AND CLOSE IN ON ARE CHANGES AND GOALS
FROM BEING A GOOD PERSON TO BEING IN POWER
AND THE THINGS THAT NEVER REALLY MATTER, NEVER REALLY FLOWER
SO LETS LEARN OUR LESSONS FROM THESE THREE MEN
AND BE OUR TRUE SELVES ONCE AGAIN.Safe in their houses
The humans draw the curtains tighter,
Protected from the world outside,
Not knowing but feeling
That silence before it comes.
The air is still
And the damp hangs, waiting.
Even the stream seems to stop its flow
In those moments of quiet.
Then it comes;
Engulfing all in its path,
Shrouding the world in a blanket of white.
Its presence is ominous-
As if it's waiting;
Waiting for the world to end.
Time slows,
And even the moon trembles
When the mist rolls over the moors.Once again it's true
That England rules the world
To the sound of "Swing Low"
The St. George's flahs unfurl.
The joy is unmistakable.
The pride is there to see.
Once again there's honour
an English man to be.
The smiling faces show it all;
The triumph and the glory,
Of beating all the other teams.
It is a heros' story.
It doesn't happen very often
So let those flags unfurl,
Because once again the dreams are true,
That England rules the worldIn the nights soft whisper
The world stand still
Life and death
Stand side by side
The final gasp
Of breath
The babies first scream
In perfect harmony
In the dark, festering
Inner reaches of
My soul
I stand alone
On an Island
Scintillating Chaos
Shattering illusions
Tortured beyond repair
Faced with my every
Action
Thought
Emotion
Emptying my closet
Of skeletonsDepression set, sorrow locked,
No end in sight, the doomed i am,
Death is near, i feel it now,
Doomed we are, to pain again, 
Love is lost, black of death encloses all,
Soon release shall be set for all.Night calls in echo to it's childeren,
A song thats forver sung.
Evil is in the eye of the beholder,
What's wrong for one may be good to some.
We are all born with natureal habbits,
We know what we must do.
Although it may take awhile to hatch this,
The idea of your intensions is in you.
Wich brings us back too the shadows,
Some are born of dark.
The two sides have always been,
And forever will, since the very start.
This is the hour we flurish,
It's our turn away from the light.
We must be equaly and share this world,
And forget the forgoten fight.
We will always be here,
Even if you do not choose to see.
But one day I will meet you, and greet you,
And not juge what you choose too be.
If our paths do not cross,
I will still know who you are,
Because I will still respect you,
and you will always be in my heart.Dark is the begining,
light is the end.

This is the set of the religous trend.
Confusion fills all
And enlightenment comes then,
This is our goal to simply understand.

Light will fall,
Blessing you and friend.

Beleafs we charish, proven only by writings in pen.
And the only question I have through it all is,
When will it all make sense? 
When?Which Way am I to go?
My one way destiny?
If I choose a place to go
Will it be my everything?

Do I have to choose it?
or can I see how it goes
I have my life to choose it
Why cant you see this is how it goes

I'm not you and your out of control
My destiny is my own to unfold
Havn't you seen I'm the one in control
I think I'm better off all alone!
   
People ask who I am
And I am here to tell
I am many things you see
The past, the present and your future hell
The blood flows through me
Yet it is not my own
Yours will flow through me too
This is what you owe
Don't be scared young child
It will only hurt a bit
The pain will not last long
And your internal flame will no longer be lit
There is no use strugling
My Strength comes from my dark, dark core
I taste your blood and it is sweet
And now it will pour.Take a breath 
and what do i see
A sucky shity hole of sugar and tea
i try to escape 
but what do u know
My life is moving way to slow
Some times i wonder
How it can get this way
I find that my moods seem to sway
The sand falls 
And im out of time
All i get is the sour lime
Pondering and wondering
Which way to go
My own i will show
Life is lying
Can't you see
The wind blows in the trees
In one ear 
and out the other
Light is just a cover
I want it to all go away
Find my own path
And feel no ones wrath
I want to go
I wasnt to leave 
Hey look my shirt has no sleaves
My religion is looked
down upon
fallen i have gone
Life sux today
tomorrow better be better
of gone i will be foreverLife is but a dream
soft like foam
Sometimes it wont go ur way
sometimes it is great
take it for a ride 
and u will see
how much fun life can be
when ur down 
take a look
write a story
read a book
grab a pencil 
and start that pic
fill and divide 
that space to fit
take a mental note
of these places
take them home
and contemplate them
release urself in today
listen to music maybe even sha'de'
free ur mind 
and find ur path
see the road
go by fast
before you know it
time is up
and you can't be
the child u grew out of long ago
the system moves way too fast
tuning out lives upside down
to slow would be too hard for them 
but for the youth...
they can suffer
so u kids out there
who have to fight for fun
go ahead and spread your thoughts
be free and wild 
while you still have it
the world is big
this i know
but you can have it if u want
but if u grow up too fast
u will loose it
find ur own way
not guided by a hand
guide urself
and never let anyone
tell u 
u can'tBlack and white
It seems like a fight
never seen 
without eachother
Black and white 
it never seemed brighter
sharp and straight
its never been this bloody
The war of all has been in motion
(I have to tell you all im writing this while listening to "DO THE LOCAMOTION" lol)
In the shadow the warriers hide
In the light the birds of prey look to sight
Black and white
No color seems to bite
As hard as these
i restle to find the keys
Black and white
Which will u side 
The fighting light
or the shaded slumberers of nightThe dulcet lagoon is perfectly stagnant beneath a brewing storm.
A tranquil and serene atmosphere is completed with the gentle chirping of a colour splendid bird,

The first drop of rain tumbles from the sky and makes a single ripple that slowly creeps to the edge of the lagoon.
The first ripple is followed by a mass of other ripples upsetting the mirror lie skin of the water.
The rain starts to pelt and the wind starts to howl with ferocity.
The water is choppy and uneven and trees start to creak under the extreme pressure. 
Trees are ripped from their thresholds and tossed into the lagoon.
Thunder crashes and lightning tears through the air.
A large whirlpool is forming and the water frothing.
The lagoon starts to overflow making a waterfall of the side of the cliff.
Everything is in chaos and oblivion and the gentle chirp of the birds is gone.

It is quiet now carnage sprawled everywhere destruction beyond belief.
The chirping is unsure and timid not knowing how or why this happened.
Trees have knocked down other trees like a domino and the valley is still trying to deal the masses of water.
The lagoon is motionless with bits of debris floating around.
Little streams have replaced the waterfall making little ponds and flowing into a lake that consumed the valley floor.
All is destroyed after the storm but it will recover slowly til it is back the way it was.I cannot express the little things that want to go click inside my head.

One attempt: If something pops into my mind that gives me the sense it was immenently placed inside my mind, as if i grew into it, and if I attempt to write or draw it because it lingers there forever to be thought of and not expressed, do I then leap a hurdle, touch a monolithic expression, that previously I was never at before, and if so does something take its place, laying in wait behind that unexpressed thought, that when after expressed, the next thought takes its place, or does something extraordinary happen, or a just a feeling as if a light was laid to rest of lights too long shining.

Bzzzzt.Your enchantment fills my soul
Like none ever before
You tenderness leaves my window open
When others left a closed door
Your music fills my mind
Oh that exciting, passionate beat
Glues me to the floor
Shoots me far from my seat
What Makes me so proud
What makes me want to faint
You are a proud leader
To your people, you are a saint
Bodies quivering : Overwhelming joy
Orgasm? Pretty close...MUSIC!
Like a kinky sex toy
Even though its you who leads them
Im ecstatic you are mine
Its like the wind's blowing fall leaves
You're so beautiful in my mind
Its like re-living my childhood
All i want to do it play
My reality is amazing
I love my DJHumanity has taken me
taken me from myself
i am here to be more
more of my true self.

I feel a power
deep inside
a force that comes
in the night

shadow is my playground
darkness is my path
night is my solitude
and the good is my past

Life gets in my way
everyday things
taking me from what i want
denying me of satisfaction

if i were free to do what i want
my true self would surface
imagination and power
would rule my world

all i want to do is write
write my stories and my ways
take away the light of lying
and follow true darkness

Not darkness they portray
but truth to myself 
not evil as they portray
but truth that they corrupted

my power comes at many times
and that is when im true
imagination set wild
and emotion set free

as before i am here
in the light and blinded
darkness is or original place
free from fear and stupidity

i leave u here and now
i will leave and decide my fate
darkness is what i am made
shadow is my name!I wish i would of thought about what i said i wish i would of kept my thoughts in my head. but you cant change the past, my heart will forever be in a cast. what happend happend i guess maybe it was for the best. I shouldnt have said anything i didnt realize the pain i would bring. i will never forget this, but i will forever regret this.im sorry 
im sorry for everything ive done
i never meant to hurt anyone
i know you must be very distraught
but please ive given this a lot of thought
i know what ive done, i promise ill make it right
but please i dont want to fight.
im sorry
When you first told me you were sick, 
I cried day and night, thought of you all the time.
I always made sure our last words were I love you.
Five months later, you were all better, 
A miracle from God we thought.
I spent the summer with you, 
But you were back in the hospital.
I saw you everyday, 
But not wanting to stay.
We have nice talks when you were well,
Held your hand when you were sick.
The last time we talked,
We said I love you, 
As we usually do.
I went to see you
But you didn't know I was there.
You couldn't talk,
Couldn't open your eyes.
But yet, I knew you'd get better, 
Like you always do.
After you died, 
I went paralized.
I held you tightly, not wanting to let you go,
Hoping it was all a joke.
I kissed you as the tears slide down my face.
I thought I was prepared,
But nothing can prepare you.
During the day,
All I think of is you,
During the night,
I cry out as I sleep.
I think to myself, I'm going to make you 
So very proud
I tell you every morning, and every night,
How much I love you,
How much I miss you.
But, I know your happy.
And realize your forever safe from pain.When I first saw you
my heart was in a flutter.
I tried to think of what to say
But my mind was in a clutter.
Please open my heart
becareful for what you see
Is a tangle of broken treasures.
and each makes up a part of me.
Together over time,
we will mend them 
and each day that I grow stronger,
I'll love you a little longer.
And everytime you speak the truth
and tell me how you feel
a little tiny treasure
becomes so very real.
And so soon you'll find
the real me deep inside
but know that I will love you
and in you I confide
So please be patient
as time gives me a shove
the greatest of broken treasures
is a token of real love.When I first met you
My heart skipped a beat
We became friends immediatly
Over the years,
We have spilled many secrets, dreams
Together, trying to make our futures come true
Over the years
We have spent many nights together.
Over the years
I began to see
We were meant to be.
Seeing you after a year
Was almost too much to bear.
We have lost contact
How it hurts all so much
The last time we saw eachother,
All I needed was a hug,
but you pushed me away.
After all we've been through
You say it's final.
Don't you see
I love you that much
I'll stick by your side
even if you don't know.
In the many years to come
You'll begin to realize
We were meant to be.You are so good to me
I don't know what to do
I love the way you make me feel
and make my tears so few between
You hold out your hand
Which I take in gratitude.
For I feel safe within your arms
you complete this wonderes mood
You treat me like a princess
and say the nicest things
I hope we are forever
Lets see what the future brings
   
Look behind the mask, 
and tell me what you see.
Tell me what you see when your looking inside me.

Do you see someone hurting?
do you see my crying soul?
Please tell me that you'll help me, 
to achieve my special goal.

My goal to be a better person,
my goal to be a better me
Please help me make my wish come true.
All I need is some love from you.

But there is one thing that you need to do
One thing that you need to swear
That you'll always care and be there.
   
I wounder along this liveing hell I hear them calling for me but I should not go I must stay to be with him.I find my self going but I relize i musn't go. They call to me in the dark of the night to lead them .To lead them to a wolves paradise.I must go. Imust lead them down the the golden path to paradise. 
No one knows how much it hurts,
no one understands the pain
everyone says they understand,
but no one knows what it's like to be me.

No one knows just what it's like 
to feel the way that I do
Everyone says they've been through it
but no one knows like I do.

The way they treat me
the way they make me feel.
The ways that it hurts so much
The times I feel so alone.

I hate feeling like dirt
I hate feeling like a nobody
Im sick of always competing
For the love I need and diserve.Let me out from behind these bars
Let us soar through the night forever ours.
Let me be who I am
Love me for who I am
Not fpr who you want me to be,
I am me.
i am not you or anyone else, 
I am me.
Just because I'm not the way you wanted me to be
Doesn't mean I don't diserve love.
Doesn't mean I dont diserve to know what love is.
I am me.
Love me, Respect me, Let me....be me.
I am happy with who I am,
I am thankful for what I have
I am happy with my life
I am happy with everything about me
Please love me.
Don't try to change me
Don't deprive me of what I diserve
Please just love me
Let me be who I am.Love me for who I am. 
Not for who you want me to be
I am me.We live in a world of Illusion.
Beauty is an illusion,
Love is an Illusion,
And yet we believe in them
Believe them to be essential.
Believe them to be what we want
what we want to need in our lives.

Illusions are all around us, 
Pain is only just an illusion,
Remember the illusion 
And life is a grand adventure.What do you do, 
Whens theres someone you just can't have?

Do you tell her you want her?
Or continue to need her?

What do you do 
When she hugs you good bye?

Do you let her go?
Or hold on so tight?

What do you do
when she cries on your shoulder?

Do you try to kiss her?
Or keep it in your thoughts?

What do you do
When she says your a great friend?

Do you walk away?
Or keep her in your thoughts?

What do you do 
When theres someone you want so bad??The rain was falling hard as I looked out my door
It had been since a quarter till four
Today was going to be my big day but not anymore
My baby told me that she was a whore
My friends tryed telling me but I didn't beleave
that when I was working out of town she went out on me
I guess I knew something was wrong when I called she would always say she had to go she couldn't talk long
I always thought it was her mother an kids but God knows what a fool I've been
I was in love with that girl without a doubt but now its over thats a fact
Now as I stare at the falling rain I wonder who's to blame
   
Wondering where I belong in this world,
Drowning in the endess dark swirls,
Never finding where I belong,
My soul already gone.
I can't take it anymore!
My life already gone,
The wounds are reopened!
Not caring about anybody. Never finding that special somebody,
I turn my head and see everybody,
Happy and deeply in love.
I feel that hollow feeling growing,
Filming my painful fake life,
Hiding behind happy masks,
Never looking back.
Always so different and made fun of,
Angels hating me from up above.
My blood spills upon the floor,
People whom I can't stand anymore,
Talking behind my back,
Still hiding behind the mask.I'm sick and tired of always
being the one who has to act
tough.
I hide my feelings so they
feel safe.
They expect me to always
be there.
They expect me to always
say whats right.
But I open my mouth and 
I'm hated or ridiculed
because i may not have been
through what there going through.
But if I keep quiet they 
blame me for not saying anything.
Where is everybody when I
need a shoulder to cry on.
Gone.
If I feel like letting loose 
and forgetting responsibility
they give me shit.
But if they do it, it's okay
because i'm there to make sure they
get home okay or there to call and 
cry too.
I feel like a mom when in
reality I'm not.
I'm goin through my own shit too.
I'm expected to be so giving towards 
them but i don't think i have any
more to give.
But if i want to cry, they don't
want to listen.
I know i myself have done this to 
others, and wish i hadn't put them
in that position.
And i would like to thank them for 
being a good friend, and to say i'm sorry!Wondering where I belong in this world
Drowning in the endless dark swirlsNever finding where I belong
My soul already gone
I can't take this anymore
My life already gone
I'm sick of everyone to the core
The wounds are reopened
Not caring about anybody
Never finding that special somebody
Happy and deeply in love
I see everybody
I feel that hollow feeling growing
Deep inside my body
The film is rolling
Filming my painful fake life
Hiding behind happy masks
Never looking back
Always so different and made fun of
My blood spills upon the floor,
People whom I can't stand anymore
Talking behind my back
Still hiding behind the maskBAM!BAM!
I HIT YOU!
DAMN! DAMN!
DON'T CARE WHAT I DO!

CRACK! CRACK!
I BROKE YOUR BACK!
SLICE! SLICE!
TOSS AROUND LIKE DICE!

CUT! CUT!
NO MORE BUTS!
OW! OW!
ARE YOU DEAD NOW?

SMASH! SMASH!
I MADE A HUGE GASH!
BYEBYE!
NOW YOU DIE!Darkness Shadows me,
Comfrting my being,
Being protected by a demon,
Seeing life has no true meaning.
The Sun I truely hate,
While people are bitching debates,
Black hair, pale skin,
Cursing all lights for their sins.
Red moon, painful cries,
Someone just died
Howling winds, and more eerier screams,
You wish it was a dream.
Too many people talking behind my back,
Somebody please give me an axe,
So I can torture them,
Slice them, kill them that I did.
Anger rising,
Sinful dieing,
Too much talking,
SHUT UP and start walking.
Your soul forever tortured in Hell,
Where you go and never tell,
Countless tortures, and more diers,
All lights are sinful liers.Too much dieing,
Little children crying,
Too many wars,
While gunshots rour.
Loud and moarnful screams,
Thousands wishing it was a dream,
Seas of blood endless,
People's anger bentless.
The sound of gunshots and many booms,
Is the coming of your doom,
Soldiers all one by one,
Until the battle for today is done.
Layer upon layerof bullets, bodies, and bones,
On the battlefield the souls roam,
Piles of guns dropped from their owner,
There isn't a single loner.
Children cry for the moms, and dads,
Not one of them is slightly glad,
Crying seas of tears,
Their souls they fear.
Wounded soldiers die from loss of blood,
Tears and blood create the endless flood,
The Reaper walks among them with his sythe,
For their souls he will reap tonight.A fair young lass was she,
who traveled the world from sea to sea.
Not as smart as some out there,
she was followed around by her horse and her bear.

Taming animals as she went,
she actually managed to kill a hen.
The eggs she took as her prize,
but she was heading for her demise.

Into the woods, she ventured one day
singing songs as she made her way
remembering to feed her bear and her horse,
but not paying attention to her course.

Through the woods and along the beach
She decided to stop so she could sleep
In the sun and on the sand
To work on getting a better tan.

The sun was hot and the sand was warm
and nothing seemed out of the norm,
so she decided to close her eyes
when all of a sudden to her surprise

While she did lay upon her towel
around her rose great growls and howls
Creatures from her worst nightmares
seemed to appear from the air

She jumped to her feet and grabbed her harp
The rhythm supplied by her pounding heart
She sang and sang and sang some more
For she had found herself a war

Her horse and bear bravely fought
but their struggles came to naught,
Her songs calmed but a few
And she knew not what to do

As she said her final prayers
to the man who lives upstairs,
She closed her eyes and waited long
but something seemed to be going wrong

The creatures were howling and growling in fear
Something new was drawing near
A handsome man on a shining horse
He and his pets a powerful force

He scattered the creatures here and there
And some even flew into the air
He smiled at her, his teeth gleaming *ting*
'I came to your rescue when I heard you sing'

She nearly fainted from relief
and stared at him in disbelief
This only happens in fairy tales
but here he was real and hale

He took her back to the town
and warned not to wander 'round
'Avoid the places you should not go'
And one last smile he did bestow

What happened to our adventurer fair?
She stayed in town with her horse and bear
And now she sings to you this song
and though it might seem rather long

She sings with thanks in her heart
For the kind stranger who took a part
In saving her from her folly
That stranger who seemed to be so jolly

Now I bid you good night and fair well
And as you return to that place where you dwell
Remember the story of a man who was just
His name, by the way, was Simon Magus.When I'm alone I think bad thoughts,
ways to lie and ways to die,
and think of the things Im not.
I know I'm not perfect though I wish I could be,
I know you don't understand what you see,
I'm a ghost of a girl who used to have dreams,
and in her life she was in all the scenes;
but now I feel frozen, and full of lead,
suddenly the music doesnt play in my head,
'Im a wreck, and a ruin,
a lonely, meager,soul
I feel like a hollow bowl
yet,I still cannot hold anything,
it just falls through,
and even though I know what they say are lies,
I hold them true.
It's all my fault you see,
I let them hurt me,
I let them bring me down,
I let them break me,
So now all I do is frown,
because I hate me.
I can't place blame except on myself,
because I let them, I hurt myself,
So now no matter what you do,
I'll hate me, but never you.
Have You Figured It Out Yet?
I Take My Aggression And Make The Marks.

It?s Not Voices In My Head,
It?s Me Telling Myself To Do It.

Its All ''Cause No One Cares,
Or At Least That?s How it Seems.

These Marks Are Marks Of Hate,
These Marks Are Marks Of Me.

The Real Me Inside, 
Not The Me On The Outside.

Ya You Think I?m Pretty,
Ya You Think Nothing?s Wrong.

But You Are Wrong,
Something is Wrong.. Something Big And Bad.

You Think I?m Perfect,
You Think I?m Cool.

But You?re Wrong,
You Don?t Know Me.

You Just Think You Do,
You Don?t Know Who I Am On The Inside.

On The Inside I?m Sad,
On The Inside I?m Always Crying,

On The Inside Life Is Tough,
On The Inside I?m Bad.

These Are Marks Of Pain,
These Are Marks I Make.Have You Figured It Out Yet?
I Take My Aggression And Make The Marks.

It?s Not Voices In My Head,
It?s Me Telling Myself To Do It.

Its All ''Cause No One Cares,
Or At Least That?s How it Seems.

These Marks Are Marks Of Hate,
These Marks Are Marks Of Me.

The Real Me Inside, 
Not The Me On The Outside.

Ya You Think I?m Pretty,
Ya You Think Nothing?s Wrong.

But You Are Wrong,
Something is Wrong.. Something Big And Bad.

You Think I?m Perfect,
You Think I?m Cool.

But You?re Wrong,
You Don?t Know Me.

You Just Think You Do,
You Don?t Know Who I Am On The Inside.

On The Inside I?m Sad,
On The Inside I?m Always Crying,

On The Inside Life Is Tough,
On The Inside I?m Bad.

These Are Marks Of Pain,
These Are Marks I Make.When I'm alone I think bad thoughts,
ways to lie and ways to die,
and think of the things Im not.
I know I'm not perfect though I wish I could be,
I know you don't understand what you see,
I'm a ghost of a girl who used to have dreams,
and in her life she was in all the scenes;
but now I feel frozen, and full of lead,
suddenly the music doesnt play in my head,
'Im a wreck, and a ruin,
a lonely, meager,soul
I feel like a hollow bowl
yet,I still cannot hold anything,
it just falls through,
and even though I know what they say are lies,
I hold them true.
It's all my fault you see,
I let them hurt me,
I let them bring me down,
I let them break me,
So now all I do is frown,
because I hate me.
I can't place blame except on myself,
because I let them, I hurt myself,
So now no matter what you do,
I'll hate me, but never you.My room is dark
Like the hole in my hart
My dark depression
The light you held
Went out when it all fell
My dark depression
Lonely and heart broken
A love no one can replace
When all the lights go out 
It''s you I need 
It''s you I run to 
It''s you I loved
My dark depression
The darkness floods my hart
Like the tear that flood my eyes
My dark depression
Every minute like a mount 
Every day spent alone
My dark depression
Wishing for your touch
All I fell is the rush
Of blood gushing from my throat and wrist
Waiting for your bliss 
Wishing you could see me now 
All the pain you''ve caused 
My dark depression
My world is dark and dead
Like the bullet in my head
My dark depression
Resting cold in my grave
Waiting 
Wanting 
Hoping 
For the sound of your prayer saying you Love me 
Waiting for your presence 
Not knowing that I pushed you away
Our dark depression
   
My room is dark
Like the hole in my hart
My dark depression
The light you held
Went out when it all fell
My dark depression
Lonely and heart broken
A love no one can replace
When all the lights go out 
It''s you I need 
It''s you I run to 
It''s you I loved
My dark depression
The darkness floods my hart
Like the tear that flood my eyes
My dark depression
Every minute like a mount 
Every day spent alone
My dark depression
Wishing for your touch
All I fell is the rush
Of blood gushing from my throat and wrist
Waiting for your bliss 
Wishing you could see me now 
All the pain you''ve caused 
My dark depression
My world is dark and dead
Like the bullet in my head
My dark depression
Resting cold in my grave
Waiting 
Wanting 
Hoping 
For the sound of your prayer saying you Love me 
Waiting for your presence 
Not knowing that I pushed you away
Our dark depressionMy room is dark
Like the hole in my hart
My dark depression
The light you held
Went out when it all fell
My dark depression
Lonely and heart broken
A love no one can replace
When all the lights go out 
It''s you I need 
It''s you I run to 
It''s you I loved
My dark depression
The darkness floods my hart
Like the tear that flood my eyes
My dark depression
Every minute like a mount 
Every day spent alone
My dark depression
Wishing for your touch
All I fell is the rush
Of blood gushing from my throat and wrist
Waiting for your bliss 
Wishing you could see me now 
All the pain you''ve caused 
My dark depression
My world is dark and dead
Like the bullet in my head
My dark depression
Resting cold in my grave
Waiting 
Wanting 
Hoping 
For the sound of your prayer saying you Love me 
Waiting for your presence 
Not knowing that I pushed you away
Our dark depressionMaybe they?re right
Maybe I want this too bad
Can''t you see that I''m hurt
All I need from you is your attention
I don''t know why I feel this way
Why I try
You will never want me for me
It just wasn''t meant to be
I want to be strong
Even thought it''s all wrong
There are two days in every week
about which we should not worry,
two days witch should be keep fee
from fear and apperhension.
One of these days is yesterday
with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders,
its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed and is
forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world
cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo
a single act we performed
we cannot erase
a single word we said.
Yesterday is now gone forever.
The other day we should not
worry about , is tomorrow 
with all its possible adversities,
its blunders, its large promise and 
its poor performance
Tomorrow is also beyond 
our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise ,
either in splender or 
behind a mask of clouds
but it will rise .
until it does ,
we have no stake in tomorrow 
for it is yet to be born.
Boredom is so boreing
So obvious but true
I really hate haveing
Nothing good to do
I sit at the computer 
Or put on the t.v
Somethimes I will read a book
But Boredom still finds me 
I wish there were a cure 
To endless boreing days
Its probably to find a job
Perferably one that pays 
But than suddenly i realized 
Boredom isn't all that bad 
I should enjoy my freedom
While theres freedom to be hadYou took me for granted....
And for that I am truly sad...
But soon you will realize...
I was the best girl you ever had 
When you needed someone to listen
I lended you my ears
All this time i was treated like dirt
I have wasted all these years
It will be hard to forget a relationship
That was so real and true
But it's not hard to forget a person
I never even knewIf one day you feel like crying....
Call me.
I don't promise I will make you laugh,
But i can cry with you

If one day you want to run away..
Dont' be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop..
But I can run with you

If one day you don't want to lisen 
to anyone...
call me.
I promise to be there for you .
And I promise to be very quiet

Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.
But if one day you call...
And there is no answer....If one day you feel like crying....
Call me.
I don't promise I will make you laugh,
But i can cry with you

If one day you want to run away..
Dont' be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop..
But I can run with you

If one day you don't want to lisen 
to anyone...
call me.
I promise to be there for you .
And I promise to be very quiet

Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.
But if one day you call...
And there is no answer....i am a poet writing of pain 
i am a person in a life of shame 
i am your friend trapped in a world of lies
i am your girlfriend hiding my cries
i am your daughter hiding her depression
i am your sister trying to make a good inpression
i am your friend acting like i'm fine
i am a wisher wishing this life weren't mine
i am a girl pushing my tears aside 
i am a person who doesn't have a clue 
i am the girl sitting next to you
i am always gonna be there
i am your best friend hoping you'll be thereI am but a drop in the ocean
Yet you hear my prayer
When I need someone to talk to
You are always there
I count my blessings
Each new day
And ask for guidance
When I pray
I hope that others
May see the light
And learn to love instead of fight
Life's path is never straight
It tends to swich and bend
With your help along the way
I know i'll reach the endWe would travel across the stars and moon, 
On an endless journey to eternity 
Eternity is a long time, 
But we only have so long before we ruin 

Already I know we’ll never be, 
But only a figment of my imagination, 
These feelings are leaving me, 
Sightless, powerless to see 

I’m aware that the feelings are not returned, 
Precisely that’s what’s beginning to burn. 
Even then, I’ll hold you close to my heart, 
And show you the beauty of true love’s art. 

Even if you’re not mine to claim, 
I’m happy to even know your name. 
I don’t know what we’ll ever be, 
But I’m certain it’s you I need to breathe. 


Maybe In May 
She wouldn't stare into your eyes, 
When she said she was fine, 
It was a handful of overused lies. 

On her calender she marked the date, 
She has planned this so carefully, 
Sne mustn't be late. 

She was both sorrowful yet filled with glee, 
To take her leave 
All she ever wanted was someone to see. 

She didn't know where she'd be off to, 
She just knew it was her time to leave. 
It was time to start over, fresh and new. 

She packs her bags and runs out in the rain, 
Today was the day, she thinks. 
She couldn't handle all the sadness and pain. 

But to this day she still has to stay, 
Has to get in all her farewells, 
But maybe in May. 


A Storm I Am, A Storm I'll Be 

The wind blows out the fire within, 
As the cold gets beneath the skin. 
The rain spills into the surface beneath, 
The storm inside never seems to bequeath. 

This storm is happening inside of me, 
Something that no one will ever see. 
It's a disturbance in my soul, 
I can hear the skies start to roll. 

Alluring blue eyes like the rain, 
An icy soul that can't be sustained. 
A heavy heart that beats like thunder, 
These traits are pulling me under. 

Maybe after all I am the storm, 
And not another can keep me warm. 
Maybe all of this is just a dream, 
But I'll never know, it'd seem. 


Untitled 1 

The river beyond the trees, 
Has a clear and rapid flow. 
It splashes against my knees, 
And the water begins to glow. 

His heart is in the stream, 
Elsewhere his body lies. 
Caused by the girl in his dream. 
He remembers her icy eyes. 

She took his heart in her hand, 
She drops it into the blue water, 
As if it was just fragile golden sand. 
He will never see his unborn daughter. 

I stare into the treacherous blue, 
Filled with grief and gloom, 
For someone I never once knew. 
I feel pity for this man and his doom. 


The Raven 

The raven crows into the night, 
Beckoning everyone to take flight. 
"Everyone! Friends! Foes!" 
The black bird cynically crows. 

"Challenge me if you dare!" 
He croaks, arrogance never rare. 
His black wings are spread, 
And all the remaining are dead. 

No one could, the raven knows. 
For everyone is down low! 
They're no longer alive, 
They lost to his game, there's no more life. 

The raven grows lonely, 
He yearns for friends, if only. 
Too bad his heart is too small, 
For anyone to haul. 


Untitled 2 

Brutal waves crash along the damaged shore, 
What may of been beautiful is no more. 
The wind sways around hastily in the air, 
Causing me to shiver and raise a hair. 

As I create footprints within the sand, 
It's once more I step afoot the land. 
Here is where true love died, 
When our love was just lied. 

I don't know what to think these days, 
The sun gives out grim small rays. 
My heart lusts for your single touch, 
But my mind know that would be too much. 

The rain patters against my exposed skin, 
I drew out our skinny love with paper and pen. 
Tear-soaked paper whispers in the wind, 
I know we'll never pull through, we'll never mend. 


With These Broken Wings, You'll Fly 

Every night, in her head, her nightmare rings 
Nightmares that leave her left with a dose of fright; 
She’s only an angel, going into flight with broken wings. 

Her courage has abandoned her with the grim skies, 
Every night she slumbers, the nightmare enters her sight; 
She has to keep in motion, always flying, even as she cries. 

She’s flying hopelessly with dark wings stained with red, 
Trying to out run these dreams that take away her light; 
These images follow her everywhere, burned into her head. 

Then one day she meets another with clipped and broken wings, 
He gives her unexpected hope and sets her into real flight; 
He looks at her with even eyes as he begins to softly sing. 

“A fair maiden with hair the colour of fresh wheat, 
She’s not too tall, not too short, a beautiful height. 
I wish I could have her near, I’d ask her to take a seat.” 

Together they fall into a peaceful and quiet sleep, 
They have returned each other’s light and stripped the fright; 
Together they’re invincible with a friendship so deep. 
Secrets start upon the lips, 
Then travel to another's ear, 
Be careful though, if it slips, 
Because secrets can cause fear. 

Sometimes impossible to keep, 
They leave you restless and dry, 
It makes it hard at night to sleep, 
Should you keep or should you pry? 

A juicy gossip, a rumor you know, 
Perhaps about your closest friend, 
Should you keep away in the down low, 
Or should this secret be the end? 

You feel weird now when they're near, 
Keeping them away from the source, 
Hoping they'll never once hear, 
But the curiosity burns with remorse. 

Sooner or later you will tell, 
And they'll feel anger to you, 
For keeping such, you'll go to hell, 
Keeping a secret is the worse you can do. 


I'm Not A Robot 

I'm not a robot, can't you see? 
I'm not a robot, that's not me! 
I feel as a human would feel, 
I'm not a robot, what's your deal?! 

I sometimes act mechanically, 
Trust me, I'm more organically. 
I cry and scream when I'm in pain, 
The action isn't so insane. 

I sometimes do wish I was a machine, 
That way my heart couldn't be seen. 
I get tired of being read, 
But it's better than being wanted dead. 

I'm not a robot, I'm human, 
I'm not a robot, not inhuman. 
I see and feel passionately, 
But sometimes dispassionately. 

We all have those times here and there, 
Where we don't even give a care, 
Where we are more robotic, 
But none of us are psychotic. 

We all have a some sanity, 
And we all have humanity. 
Because we are not robots, 
Our brains will never truly rot. 

Some might be more obedient, 
Though that's just all expedient. 
We seem loyal to corrupted, 
But that could be interrupted 

I'm not a robot, really, 
I'm not at all near ideally. 
I am not a robot, seriously, 
I can never act fearlessly. 

I might have a cold broken heart, 
But that doesn't make me real smart. 
Plus, my heart is even healing, 
And I'm almost always feeling. 

I'm not a cold case of metal, 
I'm as fragile as a petal. 
I might not be gentle and kind, 
But I can always change my mind. 

I have warm blushing human skin, 
I bleed when poked by doctors pins. 
I have hair that grows every month, 
I sneeze and burp and even grunt. 

I'm not a robot, can't you see? 
I'm not a robot, that's not me! 
I'm not incased in stainless steal, 
I'm not a robot, what's your deal?! 


April Fools 

Today you better watch your back, 
Or else you'll have a heart attack. 
They come in every form and shape, 
The foolers sometimes wear a cape. 

You won't know about it at first, 
And that's what is the very worst. 
Suspense will be thrown like a bomb, 
Like a tsunami from Vietnam. 

It'll be wise to plot right back, 
Maybe hide something in their snack. 
It'll be the greatest prank yet, 
Maybe pretend to lose their pet. 

Pranks can vary from cruel to weak, 
But it's their reaction you'll seek. 
The looks on their surprised faces, 
As they can't solve your cases. 

Their eyes might widen as they taste, 
And they'll spit it out with such haste. 
They might first be mad at you, 
But then they will start laughing too. 

Careful though on who you will trick, 
Because not all will like what you pick. 
Probably not everyone will laugh, 
And it could only be fun on your half. 

Revenge on revenge might occur, 
Trouble could very well stir. 
Be careful on how far you go, 
And only prank so and so. 

If you decide to prank your dad, 
Keep in mind he could get quite mad. 
Keep the pranks harmless as well, 
And try not to end up in hell. 

Be honest though if something broke, 
No one likes a flat out lying bloke. 
But feel free to stretch honesty, 
It's April fool's day you see. 

This will be so much fun to see, 
To watch as they sip their spiced tea. 
Try not to die when they flip out, 
But try to stay closer about. 

Try to remember to film when, 
So you could watch it again! 
Today is so very cool, 
It's fun to prank the greatest fool! 


Most Recent Poem/Untitled 

I watched as she grabbed the knife, 
That she planned to plunge into herself. 
I tried to show her why she should keep life, 
But then she turned and planted it in my heart. 
She spat words at my face as I bled out, 
She laughed cruelly as I started to fall apart. 

She bid me farewell for the final time, 
She said she no longer knew who I was. 
I tried to say different, but she was a mine. 
She left me with tears of red streaking down 
But I'm still obsessed with everything she does. 
When I look in the shops I never saw her in town. 

From here and there I noticed she complained, 
About many things but mainly conspiracies. 
Her hurtful words trailed on entirely sustained, 
And the ones that hurt most were the ones about me. 
She tried to say I was trying to become someone else, 
But she could never once see what I had to see. 

I tried to pull out the handle without her help, 
But that only made the blood faster spill out. 
No one had seemed to hear my terrified yelps, 
The event had me more patriotic than I thought. 
Pale white and red stains my arms and my legs, 
On summer days I'd just have to say I wasn't hot. 

Days turn into months since that cold winter night, 
I wondered if she even remembered or cared to. 
I'm still not even sure what started the final fight. 
I started to wonder how she was holding up each day, 
I remembered how depressed she could become. 
I used to listen to each sad word that she had to say. 

It wasn't the first time we had fought as such, 
But it was the first time she told the the truth; 
She told me I was a letting power get to my head too much. 
She had called me a monster as well as another name, 
And I knew her words were all ever so true. 
She had thrusted upon me all of her blame. 

Four months past and I can't help but to try, 
I know it wasn't wise after our history, 
But without her time had slowly passed by. 
She has new drama now, a different cover, 
She filled me in on her problems with a guy, 
She's got a new boy in her eyes, a new lover. 

I thought talking to her would make me well, 
That maybe she could relight the old me. 
But instead I'm reliving another dark hell. 
I'm not sure if I had loved her as a friend, 
Or if I have loved her as a lover would love. 
Either way, I fear my story is nearing end.She dipped with the dancer, 
Who he is, she doesn't answer. 
She doesn't know his name, 
But he was now in her game. 
Her seductive smile lures him in, 
So now her games will begin. 

Dip and dip and dip now twirl! 
Their masks all coded with a swirl. 
Black and red and blue and green, 
It was the quite the site to had seen. 
Gold laced around women's necks, 
All the men are under their hex. 

Aristocrats came to escape the death, 
To a place where they could catch a breath. 
Little did they know of the corrupted air, 
But they were too drunk and dazed to care. 
The prince claimed he was sober and clean, 
But the girl in the corner he hadn't seen. 

She had her nails glossed in black, 
The nails were as sharp as a tack. 
She had a corset of a dark crimson, 
Nothing for her could ever be a redemption. 
She was a ghost of what had once been dead, 
Her new name though was now Death Of Red. 

The prince fell from his heired throne, 
As her touch had turned him to stone. 
No one noticed till he screamed out, 
But they had tuned out his final shout. 
They were too enhanced in their ball, 
So as Red killed them all no one saw. 

Now that the attendance all had perished, 
Red had to leave but this night she cherished. 
The plague had finally came to an end, 
All of the royal deaths had been a blend. 
So now her story has been told, 
A tale that is now gossiped by the old. Without you there is a void, 
I feel like I'm being decoyed. 
You said we're always a team, 
But always isn't valid it'd seem. 

No, I understand, trust me. 
You're busy with life, I get it. 
But you'd always fill me with glee, 
This sudden departure was a hit. 

I know, I know, this is all his fault. 
Weren't you the leader of his cult? 
You always acted like him...her, 
Even though she'd ruffle your fur. 

You're leaving many because of one, 
I hardly see this as fair for friends. 
I know she's impacted on you a ton, 
Doesn't mean there should be these ends. 

I don't think you realise I care, 
And that I'll always be there. 
Im being selfish, I know. 
But this is really a low blow. 

We were already drifting apart, 
Though 7 months takes its toll. 
You impacted onto my heart, 
As a best friend's role. 

I'm trying to save my childish tears, 
So instead I'll scream where noone hears. 
I don't like to be so weak, 
But, you're making me bleak. 

We're both being egotistic, 
I wish I could have it my way, 
I'm stuck mentally like a tick. 
But you've left with a final say.Remorse is an awaken memory, 
A memory everyone once could see. 
Anymore, no one knows wrong from right, 
It's a constant two-faced every day fight. 

It spreads like a horrendous wild fire, 
And it'll tangle all up in you like a wire. 
It'll set into your heart, blood, and brain, 
It'll eat you up until you're entirely insane. 

Maybe just being immoral started this, 
Or maybe it was a measure of reminisce 
Maybe it all started with just one bad day, 
Or maybe a collection of one's bad say. 

No one will ever find an antidote, 
For a disease that's been taken a note. 
Some say their God will rid them of it, 
But remorse seems to never sit. I don't know which to trust, 
My heart or my head. 
My heart is filled with lust, 
But my head wants him dead. 

She's usually no one's choice, 
But for once she was filled with love. 
But now she can't find her voice, 
As she looks up to the grim sky above. 

Unrequited relationships are the worst, 
Not to mention confusing too. 
Only filling one with needy thirst, 
While the other claimed they never knew. 

Doubting the love she had for him, 
He had already found another. 
His brown eyes were ever so dim, 
Not wishing to smother. 

Perhaps she put too much faith in, 
Her naive heart too young for such, 
To be let into the player's den. 
Or perhaps she just wanted too much. 

I don't know which to trust, 
My heart or my head. 
My heart is filled with lust, 
But my head replays what he said.
Remembering seasons
times and treasures
a thought of youth
and holiday pleasures
simple things
a family sharing
love and peace
and soulful caring

A song for the soul
the night stands still
with the blanketed earth
cold winter chill
holiday dreams
in the spirit of love
a gift to us all
the child from above

In longing my heart
has the time of friends near
for my mother and father
a brother so dear
away into heaven
eternity rest
times of my youth
were all of the best

Memories many
a family blessed
kept us together
hearts in our quest
angels of Christmas
are some that we know
let peace and love
be the treasures to show

A search through the stars
on this heavenly night
the meaning is there
in the wonderful light
take to his arms
with loved ones near
have peace in your life
all through the yearI would like to write a poem,
And place it gently on the moon...
Beside the flag, left all alone,
Atop that crest of shadowed dune

There it would stand, without a blemish
Not a fold, or wrinkled edge
And it would leave a simple message
Of deepest love, I'd wish to pledge

Its calm would overlook Earth's toil,
But never change its pleasant smile...
Upon that face, within its soil,
That we have viewed from many miles

And for whomever cares to read,
It would become their welcome home...
To say, "Hello, come rest in peace,
Your heart will never be alone"

For I have left a part of life,
Within a silent lover's tomb...
To share with travelers of the night,
Upon their journeys to the moonThe spring, no longer in my step--
I cringe to greet each day.
My taste for food--no longer there--
Gloom encamps to stay.

I toss and turn throughout the night,
As sleep escapes my try--
Dreaming haunts the naps I get--
And time is loth to fly.

So much is changed from what I felt--
The world-- a different place--
Am I the person that I was?
Is this a different face?

But that was when we were a pair--
And now, I'm only one.
Your presence caused reflected glow--
But gone now is my sun.

Somehow I coped--before we met--
And I may--another day--
How I long for the way I felt--
When SURE your love would stay! I stood and reminisced today
about learning the "golden rule"
as I dropped my daughter off
for her very first day of school.

I watched a little boy crying
with his head tucked in his hands
and I heard him mutter through his tears,
"…nobody understands."

I asked my daughter if she knew the boy
and she said, "His name is Tommy
and he's been standing there all by himself
just crying for his mommy."

I thought to myself what a big step it was
considering his age and size
and it broke my heart when I looked into
his frightened, tear-filled eyes.

I wanted to reach out my arms to him
and hold him oh so tight
and tell him, "Please don't worry;
everything will be alright."

Then I saw my daughter point at me
as his tears ceased to fall.
My curiosity got the best of me,
so I inched closer along the wall.

I heard her answer him with a grin.
She was speaking straight to Tommy,
when she said, "Oh, that lady crying there?
Don't worry, that's just my mommy!"This lesson was learned by Miss Greedy
Who wore her shoplifted bikini.
She heard a loud pop,
and off came her top
And had nothing on in betweenie!Since childhood I'd pooh-pooed this 'saw',
'Bout those who are not able,
To munch on gum while they walk'--
Like Aesop---just a fable.

But then I met some living proof,
That maybe this is TRUE!
Seen several souls who struggled so--
Juggling tasks they do.

Now it seems all doubt is gone,
I have the proof I need--
Technology has come of age--
Produced a nit-wit breed.

Of all the idiotic stunts,
That driving safety's seen--
Few are worse than those who phone--
While driving their machine!

Right up there with those who drink--
Are those who talk and drive,
Their brains so badly over-taxed--
Need LUCK to stay alive!

So PARK and phone--(if phone you must)--
Get out and take a WALK--
I'll even buy a pack of GUM--
Try Chewing, while you TALK.Sleepless nights are not so bad
The world is still going 'round,
And if you stop to listen
Then you will hear all its magical sounds.

The sound of a baby breathing
The surf upon the shore,
The grandfather clock chiming
Your loved one as he walks in the door.

Peacefulness, the quiet,
Time to think or feel,
Nighttime is the best time
Quiet moments that you can steal.

So you see, insomnia's not so bad
I can sit and write a poem,
In the peacefulness of the night
At long last alone.No, Mr. Aikens is not at home,
You can call him later.
That's when he'll be back at home.
Who me? I'm just his neighbor.

Nothing in this world is free.
Everything has its own little fee.
And no I don't want a set of knives,
I've already got twenty-three!

Calling everyday has got to be a crime
For this you should go to jail.
Oh, you're selling blocks from telemarketer calls,
Send mine in the mail!Now St. Patrick, he sat down and wrote,
With his quill and his ink he made note
That each subsequent year,
On that date he held dear,
The Black Stuff would flow down his throat.

As each anniversary passed,
His neighbours were joining him fast,
And by year number ten
A hundred young men
Got sloshed from a vat that was vast.

By the time that St. Pat passed away
Which was thirty years on to the day,
I swear it's no joke --
There were thousands of folk
Who got wrecked by the grave where he lay.

The tradition has grown all the while,
And in March every year, with some style,
The flags are unfurled
All over the world,
Not just in the Emerald Isle.Granddad is my favourite chum,
Cheers me up when I am glum,
Lets me help him make a stew,
He says it is a special brew,
And calls it Demon Rum!

Granddad says his hootch is best,
Stands out miles from all the rest,
He says it has a secret factor,
Being brewed in a reactor,
And puts it to the test!

Granddad really likes his booze,
But I don't really share his views,
Once he made me have a sip,
My poor stomach did a flip,
Oh dear, poor Granddad's shoes!Hold your nose and pat your head.
Count your toes and paint them red.
Stretch and yawn the alphabet.
Are they gone?
Hic!
Not yet.

Fill your pants with chicken soup.
Tap dance in a Hula Hoop.
Stuff a sleeve with cantaloupe.
Did they leave?
Hic!
Nope.

Fill your bed with cottage cheese.
Place your head between your knees.
Twist your ear and bite your shoe.
Did they disappear?
Ah-choo!Up til now, my life was simple
Nothing that I couldn't handle
But technology beckoned, it was all over town
So I bought a computer with no money down

They said I'd be up and running in no time flat
Just plug it in, it's as easy as that
You'll be on the web, and you could send e-mail
It's really so easy, you just can't fail

It was easy at first, no time did I waste
and I learned in an hour how to cut and paste
But over the year, I wanted to do more
Little did I know what was really in store

Now I'm confused, the darn thing always crashes
It doesn't do what I want, I'm ready to smash it
I've loaded so many programs, probably close to seventy-five
And now there's no more room left on my hard drive

Ethernets, USB, routers, Burners, DVD's
I've spent thousand of dollars, someone help me, please!
Networks, memory, modems, firewalls to be safer
Forget it!! I'm going back to pencil and paperAutumn is a promise
of future growth and beauty
She comes and hushes all the noise,
she quietly does her duty.

As we wait with eager eyes and hearts,
we see all things retire.
Autumn gathers all the abandoned joys
and lets loose Winter's ire.

As we step slowly into the gray,
we are saddened by the bland.
We forget that Autumn always comes
with promise in her hand.


On a gray November day
The Gustav made its way
Round the rocks and down the inlet
Out to sea,
And its engine throbbed and droned,
As it plunged and rolled to home
Through the rising wind and foam
Of heaving sea.

Through an agony of time
While they pace and fret and pine
For a message from their loved ones,
Out at sea,
Arrival day came and went
With no word, no signal sent
To end frustration and lament,
Oh, where at sea?

The Pacific's northern gale
Leaves no trace, tells no tale,
Of lives in ships, storm tossed
On wild seas,
Just a single fishing float
Bearing name of missing boat
Flung in a cove remote
By roiling sea.

On a windswept grassy knoll
Above the ceaseless breakers roll
Where wind crook'd pine is stooped
By timeless sea,
Lies a cold, flat granite stone
Forgotten and alone
And carved words cut to the bone:
"Lost at sea".



 It seems that only yesterday,
I knew a different world,
Where life was good in every way,
And I was but a girl.

Just yesterday it seems to me,
My world was free from cares,
And full of dreams of what would be,
No worries and no fears.

But now it seems that yesterday,
Is from a past long gone,
So removed from my life today,
Though memories linger on.

And although yesterday was sweet,
And things are not the same,
I still consider it a feat
To be a player in Life's game.

Ned strolled out to the chicken coup,
to gather ten fresh eggs.
While to the frozen pond strode Bill,
with two rough wooden kegs.

Dad milked old Daisy in the barn,
and brought mom back the cream.
With Lula there to help her stir,
thus adding to the team.

I watched with careful scrutiny,
though just five years of age.
Quite certain that when I reached ten,
I'd be an ice cream sage.

Then came the most important job,
the crux of all the fixin'.
With Ned and Bill lined up to crank,
and Mom done with the mixin'.

I stood by poised, determined, brave;
Mom filled and closed the vat.
A towel was placed upon the lid,
then firmly down I sat.

As if my job were not enough,
I also gave the cue.
The brew was frozen perfectly,
right when my nose turned blue.

T'was the night before Christmas
and to my surprise
were lots of Sees Candies
that caught my eyes

Cakes and cookies placed
in the freezer with care
as I hope that I'd remember
that they were there

While Mom and I settled down
for a long night's nap
I took a swig
of a little night cap

All of a sudden
there was such a clatter
I jumped out of fright
to see what was the matter

Into the living room
I flew in a flash
I looked at the boxes
as they were all smashed

Looking at the luster
of chocolate peanuts below
I now see my favorite cupcakes
with the color of snow

When what to my wondering
eyes should appear
It was my mother
with a can of beer

When Mother bent down and snatched
a piece of candy real quick
I stood there and wondered
where the hell was St. Nick?

Now looking under the tree was more candy,
I wonder from were it came
A variety of chocolates,
only the best brand name

My craving for chocolate,
I was ready to climb the walls
But dear old Mom handed me
those delicious snowballs

As I sat there eating my snowball delight,
on top of it was a damn fly
I got the fly swatter,
I whacked him and told him to die

Well, all of a sudden
that damn fly flew
he flew into my bottle
of Mountain Dew

Mom and I were stuffing our face
and looking down at our belly
We laughed and laughed as they shook
like two bowls of jelly

Mom and I are round and plump,
we looked like an old fat elf
I sat on the chair and had plenty
of candy to eat by myself

As I listened to Mom chewing
on a Carmel Delight
We new Santa came
in a flash that night

I heard him flying all around the town
and as he drove away out of sight
I barely could hear him say...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL
A CHOCOLATE OVERDOSE NIGHT
I remember the heaviness of my dad's pants and belt
And how they seemed inseparable like varnish on cabinets.
I remember his shoes being this unobtainable size
That I could fit almost my whole arm inside.
And the smell of leather and work and musk.
And then, like a great idea at three in the morning,
The memories walk away in code words and pictures,
vanishing on the tip of my tongue.

I see my legs aren't growing anymore, and my belt has been
around my same Dockers for as long as I remember them
Draped like peanut butter over my jelly chair.
My shoes neatly sleeping under have been a half size bigger
than my dad's since the tenth grade, and my childhood
rolls around the back of my brain like mouthwash.

His habits, bequeathed to me, become a shirt I put on every morning.
I laugh through my nose like him. Words interrupt my vocabulary
Like "davenport" and wondering what "ails" this world.
And as I watch his face wrinkle with laughing like shattered glass
and his eyes that remind me of babies,
I am terrified that I won't grow to be exactly like him.

 A MOTHER'S HANDS

One yellow morning I watched you asleep in your bed,
your eyebrows crinkled in certain dream,
and I remembered a time when I was small enough
to curl up inside those arms,
to breathe mother's breath.
I would feel your body rising and falling
with that same delicate rhythm beating beneath my own skin.

Your hands that would hold me, now torn with age,
retain some of their tender youth in mine.
Those artist hands that shaped me,
that would brush hair from rain-streaked cheeks,
that took my shoes off when I was lost in embryonic sleep,
that cradled my insecurities,
that sharpened my defenses.

Oh, sweet giver of life,
time has settled in your crevices
and lost itself in the lines of your palm
that told stories of lives gone by,
of smoke-soaked skin -- the sweetest scent for me.
Fingers that curled my ponytails,
that broke picking roses for my hair.
Hands that held a legacy of stories time forgot.

Now I am learning what it is to be a woman,
to be a mother of a thousand breaths
And I am like your fingers,
an extension of your hands.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JOE?

Latte's, Mochas, Cappuccinos abound
But poor ol' Joe is nowhere to be found.
Espresso's "the thing," "all the rage," they say.
Do you take yours skinny? Tall or Grande?
If it keeps you up way past your bedtime,
Drinking "Decaf," instead, is your best line.
But if, like me, you don't go for this stuff,
Then join my quest, mind you it may be tough.
Our mission's quite clear, we just want to know
What happened to our plain ol' Cup o' Joe?


HER

None have known the love I've shown
unbidden from my eyes
None have seen the grass so green
or perfect azure skies
I laugh out loud at those young and proud
who think they own romance
And humbly sing my ode to spring
and dance the new spring dance

Few have lost or count the cost
of nature's loss of time
Few can say they've ruled the day
or conquered every climb
I challenge all both great and small
to take her by the hand
And dance the dance that brings romance
and feel the fires fanned

Some may see each rose, each tree
and all the great outdoors
Some will gaze through mist and haze
the land, the sea, the shores
I will take her hand and make
the most of every chance
And humbly sing my ode to spring
and dance the new spring dance



I probably should have brushed them
Flossed and gargled too
Then I wouldn't have these discolored pegs
And breath like an old shoe

Yes, I can stand the ugly
Eat mints to kill the smell
But when I get a toothache
It's nothing short of hell

The pain will throb and travel
Makes you wish that you were dead
I've got to find a dentist fast
Before I amputate my head



A shadow moves across the street
Under quiet lamplight's glow
Seeing only padded feet
Like footprints in the snow

A warrior watching through the night
For a difference in routine
A simple motion through the light
That makes ones eyes go mean

When daylight breaks, with lamps no more
I hear a scratching at my door
Slender, sleek and witty waits
To enter through my palace gates

Sleep and eat and dream all day
My shadow rests before tonight
When mice and predators come to play
My shadow waits behind the light.


We're going on vacation to visit the beach
We'll all be gone for more than a week.
Our bags are packed, filled to overflowing
With flashlights, batteries, and lantern lights glowing.

I've ordered the news to be forwarded each day
Packed all the toys so the kids can play.
We're taking the dog, and both the cats
Instead of leaving them all at the vets.

We've hired a kid to mow the lawn,
But decided to take the houseplants along.
Our water is bottled and packed in the car,
As is a port-a-potty, so we can travel far.

Our swimsuits and play clothes are all in bags,
The kids' swimming floats, separated with tags,
A camp stove is in there, a fridge to keep things cool,
A few books to read before returning to school.

There's just one little thing that keeps nagging my mind,
Am I leaving any trivial thing behind?
If I am trying to get away and be free,
Why am I taking it all with me?



I rise from my bed at five each day
bleary eyed and half asleep
I stumble through my morning tasks
so weary I want to weep

Fed and dressed I finally go
from the apartment to my car
and though I've hurried, done my best
I know I won't get far

I pull onto the freeway ramp
With a heart so full of hope
That maybe this will be the day
that I finally learn to cope

With bumper to bumper traffic
so thick I want to shout
"I've had enough, it's way too long
Please, just let me out!"

But that's not to be, I soon find out
and I think it's really a sin
to leave for work at six a.m.
when I don't arrive till ten


Packing up the night before
scattered boxes on the floor
sifting through my memories
brushing off the used to be's

The photographs are in my hand
oh yes, that time was really grand
and there I am in my pink dress
my hair in bows, what a mess

Our dog that died and the rat that got loose
and oh, there's Felix, our pet goose
These are moments I'll always treasure
this sentiment, too sweet to measure

It seems too fast that I have grown
to now be living on my own
far away, so far from here
oops, there goes another tear

Well it's time to go, the truck's pulled in
I'll have to shake this state I'm in
I'm on my way, so here I go
waving sweetly, so they'll know

I'll scatter photographs along the way
to keep the memories of today...

Summer

Sweaty dances, heady flings,
Touches, kisses, highschool rings.
Burgers, baseball, fairs and rides,
Sun and water, truths and lies.
Lots of break-ups, lots of starts,
Overactive, pulsing hearts.

Autumn

Sweet romances, golden bands,
Long, slow walks while holding hands.
Traded secrets, sacred vows,
Kissing in a brand new house.
Rocking babies, locking eyes,
Building up a paradise.

Winter

Children, grown, have all moved out,
An empty, silent, chilly house.
Lifetime partners in their graves,
Lonesomeness that comes in waves.
A waning moon on frozen snow,
John Denver on the radio.

Spring

A single glance, a warming spark,
That wakes an ancient, dusty heart.
Paper kisses, herbal teas,
China cups on balanced knees.
Waltzing slowly up the stairs,
A second chance with one who cares.



When woes beset maturing joints,
with loathsome pains at crucial points;
to get relief, right now---not later,
call Chuck, the Pang Exterminator.

One patient brings her aching back,
which creaks and cramps and seems to crack;
Chuck kneads her spine like doughy bread,
'till every thought of pain has fled.

Alas, no sooner that that's licked,
the patient says her neck is cricked;
she holds one ear flat on her shoulder,
a mournful sight to each beholder.

A dauntless smile Sir Chuck displays,
he reaches for magnetic rays;
the sound machine cranks into gear,
and muscle cramps all flee in fear.

"Oh thanks," we hear the patient blubber,
her neck now rolls around like rubber;
her grateful eyes are all aflutter---
no verbal praise seems fit to utter.

Then wham!---the front door slams wide open,
in staggers Elroy, blindly gropin';
"My back! My back!" he whines aloud;
it's plain to see the man's not proud.

"I need massagin'!" Elroy claims,
plops on the floor, and there remains;
and in Chuck's mind, there's no mistakin',
that this big turkey's simply fakin'.

The sound machine has one black knob,
which Chuck turns 'till he feels it throb;
he lifts the wand, which now is spittin',
and tries to pick the spot most fittin'.

The buns both seem quite fit for cookin',
but not with several others lookin';
and Elroy's shoes are much too thick,
to melt his toenails to the quick.

But Chuck is not so quickly thwarted,
he knows how every nerve is charted;
he looks, and stares, and contemplates,
until his sharp brain compensates.

With ample wads of cellulite,
there shows a site which looks just right;
the tailbone rises bare as brass,
a target Chuck cannot surpass.

One moment Elroy moaned and grunted,
the next, his feigned distress was stunted;
he stood erect, completely cured---
a second treatment was deferred.



A NEW YEAR CHEER

They say that time can heal all wounds
But I prefer to say
In truth that time can wound all heels
And haunt them in a way
That makes them sorry, if it happens
That they have a conscience.
Most of us, we can recall
Contributing to nonsense.

Or antics we perceived to be
Funny when we did them,
Looked at analytically,
We wish that we could rid them
From our guilty memories
And bring on absolution
Which each year we try to do
And make a resolution.

Oh time's a curing thing all right,
Although it goes so fast,
Here's hoping that your New Year is
Better than your last.Delicate drops of water
Floating to the earth
Wet kisses caressing
Everything that thirsts.

Soft gray cloud
Snuggling to the ground
Embracing everything in sight
Spreading tenderness all around.

Tiny ray of sunshine
Sneaking through the mist
Leaving rainbows and diamonds
Thrown from its shining fists.

Earth is whispering gladness
For the fog, the rain, and sun
It means that Mother Nature
Can keep life's cycle run.


The sky gets dark, the clouds roll in,
Lightning strikes, and the fun begins...
The winds start blowing, and the rain then falls,
Mother Nature's having a ball...

The rain subsides, the grass has had a drink,
Just a few minutes for Mother Nature to think...
The sky turns clear, and the sun then shines,
Mother Nature has changed her mind.....


Somehow I think life would've been boring
without my love's intrusive snoring
Loudly he barrels right into my dreams
from gentle sighs, to boisterous streams

But I don't mind his melodious songs
They serve to remind me when something's gone wrong
Did I forget to hug him and kiss him goodnight
Did I forget to cuddle him as he reached for the light

Did I listen intently to what he said that day
Communicating his importance in every way
Did I stroke his brow, as he counted sheep
Did I whisper I love you as he fell asleep

Did he feel he was needed as he let the day go
How much did I show him, how much did he know
My questions are silenced when the day is done
when he pulls me near and we snore as one ...

Good night!


NOSTALGIA

Remember being young?
Remember being free?
Remember childhood dreams
of all the things you'd someday be?

A mother? A teacher?
A rock n' roll star?
A poet? An actress?
It all seems so far...away.

Remember trips to Grandma's house,
And the silly songs you'd sing?
Remember pom-pom hats and snow angels?
(And mittens on a string!)

Every sunrise held such promise
And at the closing of each day,
A simple prayer to Heaven
Could wash all your cares away.

Summer lasted forever.
A year seemed so long.
Mom and Dad were superheroes
And could never do you wrong.

The world was once your playground,
And all you had was time.
Remember wishing you were older?
Remember the day you changed your mind?


My husband built an airplane.
It's such a pretty thing.
He painted it all yellow
With a brown stripe down the wing.

He puts on his pilot goggles
And sits in the pilot's seat
He revs up the engine
That doesn't miss a beat.

It roars and quivers and races
And then soars into the sky.
I sometimes sit and wonder
About this amazing guy,

Who takes bits and pieces
To build a flying machine
That's as beautiful as any
That I have ever seen.

He flies it in the morning.
He even flies at noon.
But never ever does he fly it
With the evening moon.

I would like to fly with him.
But I know that I must not
Because with extra weight
The engine gets too hot.

It's just a tiny plane
With a twenty foot wingspan.
And only meant to hold
One solitary man.

So I will sit and watch
As through the sky he soars
Over the hills and lakes
And also the marshy moors.

And hope that from the vantage point
Where I am always standing
I will see him return and
Make his safe taildragger landing.



Can you believe it, here I am
Moving on my way
It seems like elementary school
Just started the other day.

My first ride on the school bus
Both Mom and Dad waved goodbye
I still can't figure out
Why Mom stood there and cried.

But soon I settled in
And the learning all began
I never thought I could be so smart
Of course the teachers had a hand.

Six years have gone by
Friendships have been made
Some will last a lifetime
What I've learned will never fade.

Where has the time gone
Boy, have I grown
My teachers have taught me well
Their love plus knowledge stands alone

So now a new journey begins
It's all waiting just for me
I have so many dreams
Life holds the many keys.

I'll continue to learn as well as grow
I'll be the best I can be
But remember forever, Mom and Dad
Please always be here for me.

You can teach me and guide me
Even walk beside me, continuing to lead the way
But Values, Respect and Love
Are the things I will need everyday.

No one knows what I'll become
So give me space to grow
Let me be all I can
For these years will quickly go

Just cherish every memory
Remember the good with the bad
I'm a mirror of my environment
I'm you, Mom and Dad.

Don't ever give up hope
Please always believe in me
And one day like today
I'll have become all I wanted to be.



As he heard the cannons boom
And roaring in the night,
He knew that in the morning,
He'd be goin' to the fight

And as he laid there in the darkness,
With his comrades all around,
He wondered who would be left
As the evening sun went down.

And he said a silent prayer,
To his lord of which he knew,
To watch over him and keep him,
When the deadly bullets flew.

"And Dear Mother, if I should die,
Just know that this is true,
I followed my country's flag,
For the love of all of you."

The night did pass so fast,
And he heard the bugels call
For the men to assemble quickly,
For battle, one and all.

They formed a line of battle,
And moved out into the fight,
As the bullets flew around him,
In the early morning light.

But suddenly he fell,
And on the ground he lay,
With blood upon his chest,
And his face was turning grey.

And as the aid men found him,
They tried to do their best.
But Johnny Shiloh cried to all,
"It's now my time to rest."

With his last breath upon his lips,
As his life was closing fast,
He whispered, "Thank you, Lord,
"And Mother, I'm home at last."



Too long the summer sun beat down
burning grasses into brown,
igniting dreams of shallow pools,
blues and greens of mossy cools.

Leafy shaded places, few.
Noontime's arrival drunk on dew,
lingering long overhead
till thirsty flowers wilt in bed.

Tired gardens rearrange,
harking the call of season's change.
Growing in longer hours
are pumpkin vines and burnt sunflowers.

Blindly then the June bug falls.
September in the distance calls.
August dry and almost faint
the trees bring out their autumn paint.


When I hear the words "Stock Market" my mind begins to race.
I am not thinking about stocks anymore. I am thinking about a place.
A place that no longer stands so firm and tall.
A place that America never expected to fall.

I think not only of a place, but of innocent lives.
A place that held mothers, fathers, husbands and wives.
I think of children who are alone and scared,
and all of those people who were not prepared.

Not prepared to be alone, and not prepared to go,
All the loved ones still hanging on to that little bit of hope.
The words "Stock Market" will never mean the same to me.
When I hear those words, I will instantly think about a tragedy.

I will remember a day that was so shocking and sad,
a day that made all of America mad.
My heart goes out to all affected on that unforgetable day.
Always hold on to your memories and we should all continue to pray.

God Bless America, Land of the free, Home of the Brave.



Entrancing is her lucent face
A beauty many eyes will trace
So pale, yet glowing as a beam
Of fantasy in slumber's dream

Her pearly skin lies on a bed
In smoothness of the woven thread
She spreads across the downy sheet
To feel the plush of every pleat

So radiantly lying there
On lovers' pillow, pale and bare
She comes to me on nights like this
And lures me with her loveliness

In virgin white she glows in ways
That spin my head in lover's gaze
So much enchantment to consume
This radiance of silver moon

Each silken fold where she reclines
Is edged in sheen of satin lines
Please stay, sweet moon, to light the hair
Of one who will be lying there



Where do Sneezes come from?
I really do not know
You can have a sneeze anytiime
In sunshine, rain or snow

Sneezes start as a tiny tickle
Somewhere high up in the nose
Then that itchy feeling
Well, it grows and grows and grows

Your eyes may start to water
And they most certainly will close
Then with great force and volume
That sneeze - it will explode

Though some may be little
Others so big they hurt
It may not cause a fuss at all
Or it may get stuff on your shirt

Once the sneeze is gone
Relief is what you get
But then here comes another one
On that you can surely bet

A sneeze is not really that bad
Once it's said and done
But the worst sneeze of all
Is the one that never comes!



The first snowflakes falling on the ground,
Soft and pure without a sound,
Mystical, magical fairyland found
Like a crystal ball swirling round and round.

Each delicate flake so different from the rest
Blanketing the earth with nature's zest,
Unblemished white scenery really the best
Putting spring, summer, fall to visual test.

Spider-like lovelies caught in outstretched hands,
Evaporate quickly as we walk or stand;
Glorious seasonal garments ever so grand
Carpet the earth of our prosperous land.

Oh, how gracious the gentle flow,
The rapture of the first beautiful snow,
Breathtaking like a precious gem's glow,
God's gift for all of us to know. Two snowflakes met within a cloud
In mists of winter's space
He, a flake of icy white
And she, a star of lace

 The cloud was heavy, winds were strong
In dark mid-winter night
Then both held hands and tried to
Stay together in the flight

 Then tumbling down they lost their grip
He kept in sight her face
He said, I'll find you on the ground,
My crystal star of lace

 In dawning hour the sun arose
The flake looked near and far
Rising with each whispering wisp
To find his crystal star

 And there she was, lit by the sun
So delicate and clear
Among the millions, only one
He wanted to be near

 Then children came outside to play
To build a man of snow
She said this is the end for us
For I have got to go

 They wrapped her in a ball of snow
Which then became a face
She sparkled in the morning light
This crystal star of lace

 He too was packed into the cheek
And both remained for days
She said what will become of us
In sun's now warming rays

 He said the sun will melt us both
And to the ground we'll fall
But I will not forget your face,
The brightest star of all

 I'll follow you to nearby streams
And into rivers flow
I'll follow you into the sea
Wherever you may go

 One day we'll rise together in
the haze of summer heat
And somewhere in a cloud of white
The two of us will meet

 The winds will send us onward
To the place of winter storm
You'll form into a crystal star
With frozen heart so warm

 Above the January earth
In gatherings of mist
I'll find you there, my star of lace
Just waiting to be kissed

Silent are the berry bogs
Dark, the fragrant room
Groggy are the nighttime frogs
Soft, the crescent moon

 Silent is your voice tonight
Sparkling are your eyes
Billowing, the harbor mist
Clouding mystic skies

 Joyful is my sleeplessness
Memorizing time
Moments of enchanting bliss
Gathered in my mind

 Let my lover's slumber drift
Into a dawning beam
Soft purples of the haze will lift
The blanket from his dream

 Silent is my tranquil breath
Still, my waiting heart
Soft my head upon his breast
That murmurs in the dark

 Cool, the breeze from window's space
Pure, the hour of bliss
Wet, the lips that now awake
The fire in his kiss

 Never has the spirit been to
Places such as this
Exquisite is the free fall into
Passion's sweet abyss

 I've heard that when you love someone
And they don't love you back
it hurts deep down inside
but you eventually bounce back
Why was it then when I found out
that no one loved me too
did I feel no pain at all
just a question resting on my mind
If not me then who?

 They are beautiful for my eyes to behold.
They are majestic as they fly across my soul.
Mountains can tumble down to the shore.
Rivers can flow forevermore.
Angels can wander till at death's door.
They can't love you with a love untold.
They can't promise forever to hold.
Angels can sings sweet lullabyes.
Angels can dry the tears from your eyes.
Angels can't feel love in their hearts.
This is the reason Angel's love never starts.
So beautiful are they to all human eyes,
Yet so empty inside unlike heavenly skies.
That's the trouble with angels!
That's the trouble so blue.
That's the trouble with angels.
That's why God sent me you!



 You ask me why I love you
My love, I'll try to tell you
It's the breath of life you've given me
It's the smile when I smell you

 It's the blueness of your eyes
It's the way you say you care
It's the way my soul is incomplete
Whenever you're not there

 It's the way you hold my hand
The way you look into my eyes
The way you capture my attention
The way you strip me of disguise

 It's the way you make me feel complete
The way you make my smile laugh
And how so naturally you make me see
You're my other half


 Is there anything that you don't do?
Is there anything that you don't say
That doesn't take my breath away?
The way you laugh
And the way you cry
It fills me up so deep inside
The way you smile
The way you care
It fills me up everywhere
From your gentle touch
from the hands that I hold
To your subtle laugh
from the jokes that I told.
The way you're afraid when I go away.
The way you ask me if everything's okay.
All I do is think about
the things I'd like to say
But I can never tell you
Because everything you do,
and everything you say
takes my breath away

 Whispers of beauty dance
within my heart
as the song of passion
celebrates in my soul.
Opening my eyes I surrender
to you
for your touch of freedom
stirs in my spirit.
Lift me to the sky
let me grab the stars
and hold onto the night.
You are my eternity
and the world kneels
before us!


Love is a fragile frower standing tall
against tornadoes of hate and seas of
discouragement. Love is a gentle breeze
against your face. It's a cool stream of
emotions flowing down the rocks of life.
Love is a warm blanket on a cold winter's
night. It's a feeling of be secure and safe.
Love is what makes the world a worthwhile place.
It's like the old saying goes
its better to love and lost
than to never have loved at all.


 Birdsong on the morning of
The first warm day of spring,
Skillful fingers playing
Along a guitar string,
The tinkle of a babbling brook
As sunlight makes it glisten,
All these things were there for me
But I forgot to listen.

 The mirror of a mountain lake
Reflecting snowy peaks,
A playful child's impish grin
Between two rosy cheeks,
The orange glow of the setting sun
Sad to see it leaving,
There I was with open eyes
Seeing, not believing.

 Aroma from a bakery
After a fresh batch,
Butter fried with onions
To cook the morning's catch,
A woman wearing fine perfume
And all that can entail
Persuing my olfactories
But I did not inhale.

 The feather touch of a caress
Drawn across the skin,
Filling up a steaming bath
And slowly sinking in,
The warmth of a new friendship as
It forms a special bond,
These were reaching out to me
But I did not respond.

 The boldness of a red Merlot
Dancing on the tongue,
An appertif of coffee
When the meal is done,
And every flavor in between
All so stimulating,
Filling my requirements
Filling, but not sating.

 So being numb to stimuli
Both from within and out,
So blind and deaf and deadened
To what life is about
Had put me in a "comfort zone"
And left me near defenseless
When a gentle, strong reminder
Brought me to my senses.


 Touched by her lover's gentle caresses,
Though always distant from his regal place
And away from the affection he expresses,
She still shines with his strength and grace.

 Fate had so decreed that their relation
Be one where the twain shall never meet
And despite their mutual love and adoration
In separate, distant quarters, they sleep.

 As he rises, refreshed, for the daily work
She retires from the work already done
And the cycle never changes, a cruel quirk
That forbids them from becoming one.

 And her silent cry shall go on forever
As she has done so from the very start.
She hides her pain knowing she'll never
Hold him close to her aching heart. 


On this our Wedding Day,
I bring to My Beloved:
The warmth of summer's sun,
the moon and stars above

 The morning and the noon,
a sunset veiled in gold
A treasure chest of dreams,
blessed memories to hold

 The laughter of a brook,
a vintage ripe to eat
The perfume of a rose...
I lay before thy feet

 To woo thy heart with song--
the ballad of a dove
Above our pillowed slumber
to rhymes of cherished love

 In sickness and in health,
I pledge with heart so true
The gift of each tomorrow
where love begins anew

 In vows taken reverently
and sealed with Heaven's kiss
We're destined to foreverness
of matrimonial bliss.



You And Me
You.
You stand there.
Why?
Why do you stand there?
Talk.
Talk to me while you stand there.
Be.
Be with me while you stand there.
And.
And most of all.
Love.
Love me while you stand there.


 I sit alone
Await the hour
My love has grown
I've shown its' power

 A night of love,
A night of hugs,
A kiss from an angel,
That appeared from above

 To be or not to be,
Is that the question
I never knew love,
Until you taught me the lesson,

 For if we part,
You'll know not long,
I miss you now,
And your're in my arms,



A life unusually optimistic
Good things recalled not the bad
The powerful impressions
of negative situations
Usually recalled as the norm.

  Seems like a usual pattern
Breaking things down overanalyzing
I might want to finally spend
More time on the simplistic side.

 Even on the bad days
Breaking things down coolly
You always seem to know so tenderly
The right things to recall and find.

 Hot and heavy positive emotions
I'll give you more than everything in kind
The critical things,
the important things
I'll embrace you for
as long as eternity will find.

 Love needs no verbal reply
In detailed retrospect, I find
The right things to say remain unsaid
All I need is your sweet
imagery in my mind.



People ask me what I think
of Heaven and I say
I'm not too sure
I know it's pure
and better than today

 But since you've come into my life
I'm wanting something new
The love that has designed my soul
is beautiful with you

 And sunsets, although pink
have filled my soul again
My dreams have found serenity
My love - where have you been?

 Your smile fills my mind
Your voice, it stills my heart
And so to explain it,
I don't know where to start

 So my answer to their question..
My heaven: Love that's true.
I only smile,
Cuz all the while,
I know, my Love, it's you.

 


With a voice so sweet
and words so tender
You sing me a song
that I'll always remember

As I watch you sway
your shoulders so slight
Your eyes closed softly
to block out the light

I fight back the tears
as your loving words flow free
Strumming the notes that were
made just for me

I could never feel more special
I could never feel more loved
As you put me on a pedestal
And raise my heart above

Thank you for making me
see all you see
With your beautiful gift of music
That you have given to me



 If I were a poet, I would
wrap you in my words,
Roll you off my tongue
with my soothing voice,
Meet your every desire with
the motion of my pen,
Making your heart race
every now and then;

 If I were a poet, you would
be my only passion,
My inspiration in a world that,
to me, is gone;
 If I were a poet, with you
as my one and only love,
I would lower to my knees daily
and thank the lord above;

 And if I were truly a poet, I would
swim through your deep oceans,
Speak of all the wonders I see
in the calming darkness of your eyes,
And if I could find the words to
describe my feelings for you,
I could tell of the way my passion
strongly flows - so true.
TOO LATE
I didn't know I loved you
Until you went away.
I didn't much think of you
Up to that final day.
The music that was you
I only noticed when it stopped.
I didn't take the time to
Tell you that I cared a lot.
My love of life went with you
Too late for me to say
I didn't know how much I loved you
Until the day you went away.

My loss of you will be a minor thing,
unnoticing, the seasons yet will flow
continue waltzing proud with beauty
through the myriad months they know.
And still will seeds long since been sown,
give birth to buds of billowing spring
for your death remains unknown
to the waking sun and the April rain.
Your quiet passing will go unobserved
by the boisterous birds and bees of May,
and so will wide-eyed infant squirrels
clamber around through our backyard tree.
June will not cease, nor will July,
blithely unaware you don't exist.
Ambered autumn bows to winter's bride
as if nothing significant is amiss.
Oh, there will perish with your passing
little of beauty that is not your own,
only the grace of common flowers,
only the lilt of morning's song.

What do I do, now I've reached the edge?
The cliff is steep to the plain below.
Miles upon miles of emptry air
And no hand will I hold, but your hand
and you are not there!

What do I do when smothering black
Of night engulfs me ... coldly dark
So dark I tingle with sudden fear
No arms do I need but your arms
And you are not there!

What do I do with a life that tells
the end of the world in a darkened mist
But still must keep senselessly on
No love keeps my heart, but your love
And you ... you are gone!

I'm standing in front of the silent grave,
looking at your name, carved in the stone.
A cold wind is swinging branches of pines
in the dark graveyard without any light.
Obscure clouds are overcastting the skies,
restraining their sadness over this sight.

 Beside me, there's a candle on the grave.
Its flame is floating over the gray stone,
making mystic shapes, filling me with fears,
flying as far as it can, hurrying on its way,
leaving me lost and afraid, alone in tears
like every shiny light you've taken away.

 The snowflakes are falling over the grave.
Your name is disappearing from the stone.
The fragile flame doesn't shine anymore.
The last light of my life has abandoned me,
following you up to the Heaven's shore
to swim with you in the Paradise sea.

Oh, the white of cotton sheets, the perfect edge, the perfect pleats
The dreary walls, the lonely halls, the soft excruciating calls

 I always gladly stood by you through every test they put you through
The chemicals, the painful nights, the nightmare dreams and stinging bites

 But when I saw you lying there so thin and weak, no voice, no hair
Your chest, your head, your thinning back were left in radiation black

 My eyes were not prepared to view this dying man, this other you
Who lived with me beneath blue sky, and now a man too weak to cry

 And oh, the white of cotton sheets, the tubes and needles, rhythmic beats
Metallic bed, metallic sound, a skimpy robe they tied around

My heart was not prepared to see you tugging chains to set you free
And oh, how much your eyes beseech a nurse's button out of reach

 Never had I seen on earth discomfort's torture on a berth
With sheets of alabaster white, with ends and corners tucked in tight
Your rose was but a thorny bush, a button there too weak to push

 And all your pain I took as mine, til morphine's regulation time
A bowl of soup you could not eat, disturbing words you could not speak

 A skeleton between the threads of sheets of white on metal beds
And every player played his part, but no one had prepared my heart

 I died a death but stayed alive
In phantom's likeness I survive
Alive, yet dead, I walk alone
In rooms with walls as cold as stone

 I lived a life and dreamed a dream
And loved the life you lived with me
Then in the whisper of a breath
You left, and then I died a death

 Though dead I live, I cannot part
From love that lives within my heart
Within my sorrow I must strive
To keep my hope and faith alive

 For all the love that I would give
I surely would prefer to live
To be content, not to survive
But feel my spirit come alive

 You slowly took your final breath
'Twas me, my dear, who died a death

 Among the brambles of a shattered heart
Among the shambles of life torn apart
When love or friendship turns to hate
When words are spoken to berate
To pick up the pieces seems a chore
But must be done to grieve no more.

 Among the puzzles of the reasons why
Among the thistles that cause pain to cry
When moving on is the only goal
To open the door to another soul
Walking in limbo for a while
But lighting candles with a smile.

 Among the confusion of forest and trees
Among the conclusion of answers that please
When peace is restored from lackluster
When courage and spirit are easy to muster
To encounter the new and inclusive
To get rid of the old and abusive.

 Slowly the hurt will be completely erased
With a better relationship the ego replaced.

 A teardrop fell upon the rose
That she held close to her breast.
In sympathy, the petals closed,
As she saw her love at rest.

The rose it seemed to feel her pain
As one by one her petals fell
And upon the stem of thorns,
Now fell the pouring rain.

Bending down, she picked the petals
And to herself, she drew them near;
She saw, in the rose, her broken heart
And on the petal, her fallen tear.

Between the pages of a book,
She placed the petals tenderly
And the rose, it shed a tear,
As if it cried in sympathy.

The words, on the pages read,
Forever, my love, remember me
And when you see a rose of red,
Remember, love, to remember me.


THE BROKEN BRANCH
 Backwards let my life rewind
Until my life is here no more.
No memory left that I had lived
Or ever entered this life's door.

 Erase the words in poetry written
And the ones in life were spoken;
Release me now and I'll return
To nothingness and be forgotten.

 A tiny seed that Christ pre-knew
And sent me here to be a tree
But I am barren and bare no fruit;
This broken branch I know as me.

 Off the ground, please raise my limb
And gently secure it to the vine;
Remove the clouds that shadow me
And let the sun on me to shine.

 The cry of Job, is what I pray?
That I return back to the womb?
To be remembered never more
Or visited within my tomb?

 Nay, this cannot be, the words I say,
Or the things of which I pray.
For life is precious and so am I
As well as words I so deny.

 Within my writes, reveals my soul,
that let's you see the barren tree.
A tiny blossom, I see appear:
Just a bud, I see in me
And this write upon a scroll.

A VOID
What can fill that empty space
That seems a hollow pit.
When something there is missing
And nothing seems to fit.

How do you fill the emptiness
And satisfy the inner hunger;
When all in life has left you starved
But no where's found the answer.

Outside yourself, you start to look
But still there stands the void.
The little things you used to love,
No longer seen enjoyed.

Don't talk to me of Jesus,
For I'm his and he is mine,
but even though I know him;
I'm still not feeling fine.

Tomorrow, I'll go searching,
And tell you what I find
But if my search should prove in vain;
It will have satisfied my mind.


 Paint me a pretty rainbow and color it with reds;
Bring to me a dream to spin with golden gilded threads
And sing to me a song that lifts and puts on me a smile
And when you're walking through my mind, stay in there awhile.

Place upon my lips a soft blown kiss and if you'll be so kind;
Leave behind a memory to impress upon my mind.
Slowly back away from me when walking out the door
And tell to me once more, what you're leaving for.

Plant a rose of deepest pink to grow outside my window
And after removing the thorns; a cutting upon my pillow.
Make the moon again to shine and the stars to twinkle;
Whisper to me a word of love that brings my eyes to sparkle.

Come with me and dance once more; a slow romantic waltz,
And paint again a rainbow bright before reality assaults.


 Why didn't they care for me.......?????
My inside they never did see,
My heart cries......my body is sore,
Paralyzing me to the innermost core,
The anger inside me can take no more.
The frustration, the misery and pain,
Driving me crazy...turning me insane,
Escaping away, do I have what it needs??
And finally I accept the things the way the are,
trying to live, trying to bear.....!!!


 Few there are to walk beside you
Through the valley of tears and sorrow.
More the times, you walk alone,
Than the times that they befriend.

 Lonely is the journey there
And dark the jagged painful path.
Your tears they flow upon the stones
That rip away the bloodied flesh.

 The light ahead, it slowly dims
As deeper down the path sojourns.
To hold a hand along the way
Might keep the feet upright that stumble.

 Alone you see this path that ends;
Beyond the valley, a light, it glows
With angel guiding as you walk;
Last mile of life not walked alone.


I want no more of you!
Leave me be!
Why are you doing this?
Must you torture me?
Do you like teasing me?
You play with my hair and
move close enough so I think you might
kiss me...
hold me..
touch me...
Stop!
Enough!
Leave me be and
get out of my head!


I'm movable when the band plays
Able to touch and be felt
I can weep when the movie ends
And stand proud
 But alone in the shower
Solaced only in the park
Alone, at the market
Is when I fall.

This needle is dry
in my day to day
Forced to face many faces
Backgrounds; against my bed

 I'd like to be more myself
To wager my needs in the real world
but I am wounded
Having done so before.

 Just me
hollow and stained
remembering
When someone chose to honor me.


 One by one, I'd read the verse
And place it again inside the rack.
There must be one that I could buy
For a dad whose love was out of whack.

 I'd stand and read each pretty card
But none it seemed pertained to me.
For the father that was pictured there
Was one that I would never see.

 I longed for a dad like other's had
With memories like inside the card
But to buy a card that said those things
Would be a farce and much too hard.

 One by one, I'd shuffle through
Until I'd find the perfect one.
It simply said that I love you;
Words you can't hear inside your coffin.


One of these days
you'll look back to see...
that I was always there
but you were never there for me.
 One of these days
your heart will start to ache...
then you'll realize
there was a risk you needed to take.

 One of these days
you'll look around for me...
I will be gone
but I am yours eternally.

One of these days
the thought will be too much to bear...
just say you love me
and I'll be there.


You see yourself in the pouring rain,
No one to pull you out of the storm
I'd go but you'll only keep me there
So I can feel your strain.

 I did nothing to earn your cold shoulder
But I receive it none-the-less
Lead me on for it's only darkness
That I can see.

The unstable legs I walk with,
are giving in again,
and the doubts that have surrounded me,
are finding their way in.
 I needed to be helped,
not giving help to you,
rains of trouble,
I once was like you.


 In a lonely graveyard plot,
Where the lost and lonely go;
I saw the weeping of a stone
Upon the ground, I saw them flow.

The words embedded deep in slate;
The cause of death, a broken heart.
I saw no flowers, his stone adorn,
But there embedded, I saw the thorn.

Buried deep, it seemed to pierce,
For flowing down were bitter tears.
Within my heart, emotions fierce,
As they broke my own veneers.

Pouring down was my own pain
Upon the stone of past gone years
Where the pain, I saw remain.


Lie with me beneath the weeping willow
And let me drink the nectar from your lips.
May my sighs be heard across the meadow
As I enjoy your roaming fingertips.
With your body close to mine, my darling,
Let us make love beneath the silver moon.
Can you feel my longing heart that's aching
For your embrace that used to make me swoon.

 I hear the cries coming from the willow
As alone I lie beneath its branches.
Alone it joins in my tears of sorrow
As it sees my love turn into ashes.

Upon a bed that's made of earthly green
It mourns with me the passion now unseen.
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
and bring so much happiness, just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
and I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
and when that is done, I'll hide under the bed!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry. I'll run. if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
and play in the mud till the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
and say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"


 Running, running, here I go
To catch my tail but I'm so slow
And lagging, dragging, my behind
To try to catch up with my mind.

 Tripping, falling on my tongue
That is often too high-strung,
Dropping words I have to eat
And spitting them upon my feet.

 Keeping up with things today
Is harder than my words can say
For every time I think I've won,
There I fall down on my bun.

 My body's old, my mind is young;
Upon a cloud, my dreams are hung
And so if you should see me cry,
You will know the cloud's passed by.

 Slower, slower, now I go
Like Wisconsin winters in the snow,
So if you want to walk with me,
You'll have to slow down or me carry.


 When I die, don't look at me
And say she looks at peace,
For in my grave, I'll toss and turn
Until you come to me.

 And don't you say, the same old thing,
She looks just like her mother,
Cause I'll rise up and choke your neck
For insulting my poor mother.

 Of course, it is, that I look pale,
I'm dead, you stupid fool
But after choking on that grape,
You'd think that I'd look blue.

 Now run along and let me be;
Can't you see I'm trying to sleep
And by the way, this pillow's hard,
Why did you have to be so cheap?



FAIRY TALES
A princess in a castle;
a prince in make believe
But if it's not a fairy tale,
Then only yourself deceive.

A wart upon your nose
May be closer to the truth
And if you think I'm negative
Then you're still in your youth.

I believe in poison apples
For I've been given one or two
But never did my prince come forth
To keep me from turning blue.

That magic mirror, I'd like to choke,
For it is cruel what it says to me.
You were the fairest long ago
But not today as you can see.

I pricked my finger upon a needle
And saw it hurt and bleed
But there was no prince to rescue me,
Not even Johnny Apple seed.

I've spun the hay and guessed the rhyme
But never did see gold,
I know that life's no fairy tale
Like in those books are told.


Am I aging like wine
Or Limburger cheese?
A lady so fine
Or pan of old grease?

My age spots just freckles
To point out my dimples
And what of the skin tags
On my skin that just sags.

The cellulite that seems
Deep enough to plant beans
And what of the brain
That seems now insane.

If old styles come back,
I may give a whack
At wearing a chemise
To the marquees.

I'll tease up my hair
And style it with flair,
Put on those red heels
And flip some cartwheels.

My mind is still young
But loose seems my tongue
To think that this old mare
Might still have some flair.


I begin each morning as I wake.
It's a slew of classes today, I'll take.
 I hop the bus and ride to school.
Bags under my eyes make me look like a ghoul.

 Georgia History is my first period class.
I'll sleep it through and wait for it to pass.

 I wake up just in time for reading.
I'm late...on my forehead, sweat is beading.

 It's this class that I'm really hating.
Guess what! I left my teacher waiting.

 I get a lecture and have to read.
And for punishment, I have to do a stupid deed.

 Banging erasers after class is what I am doing.
The rest of my class is watching, wooing.

 And off to media production, I run.
I know that there, I'll have no fun.

 That class ends and it's time for health.
It's there I get education wealth.

 Then the 5th period bell rings.
It's time for algebra with numbers and things.

 I get to the class a few minutes late.
It's time for the number debate.

 Everyone's problem has a different answer.
I hate this class. I'd rather have cancer.

 Finally, when I think I'll die,
Algebra ends and to science I fly.

 Oh, great!
This is the teacher I hate!

 After pulling my hair out and biting my lip,
this class ends and to English I skip!

 English ends and it's time to go home.
I leave the class and the school halls I roam.

 I get to my house and think I can lay down.
I remember homework and put on a frown.

 I finish my homework and head off to bed.
I lay down and rest my head.

 I think of how I'd love to just play.
But, it's to school tomorrow for another greuling day.

 Turn up your hearing aide;
Grandma's a courtin no more.
No more wanting herself a man
To hear him fart and snore.

 So turn up your hearing aide
and hear what I have to say;
I no longer want a man
nor a toss upon the hay.

 When you're a turning eighty-two,
No need no more for one;
So Grandpa you put back your shoe;
With me you'll have no fun.

 So turn up that hearing aide
And hear me when I say;
I no longer want a man
Nor a toss upon the hay.

(A FOLLOW-UP TO A VERY OLD SONG
CALLED "GRANDMA'S A COURTIN AGAIN)


I'm an old worn out shoe.
I am not very new.
Sitting all by myself
On an old dusty shelf.
My white laces are worn
Tattered, tacky, and torn.
I've walked a million miles
On carpet, floor, and tiles.
My slick, slippery heel
Is a banana peel.
My color is faded,
The style out-dated.
My mate has gone astray.
I'm left here to decay.


This tale unfolds a long time back,
When chivalry had not yet been given the sack,
In an old ruined tower, there lived a princess, beauty's child,
A perfect setting was the forest, untamed and wild,

There came along a prince on his customary horse,
Need I give you the rest of the sauce?
All was love and love was all,
And so the princess would let her hair fall,

Down from the window, down to the ground,
And up climbed the prince, never a sound,
For the princess was held captive, romantic enough,
And sad and sorrowful and all that stuff,

The only villain of the story, it seemed was the witch,
And by god, she was an itchy hitch!
But the prince, love awoke the lion in him,
And the daylights of the witch soon turned dim,

Then our prince and our princess, they set up their home,
And by sunset, she would, her crown of glory comb,
The prince loved the raven cascade, he banished hair pins,
And silver strings and pretty clips lay buried in the bins,

The princess, she made him dishes royale,
And so would have ended a happy tale,
But fate, ah cruel fate, delivered a punch,
for a strand of hair found its way to the prince's lunch,

Prince Charming, he read the newspaper, he never noticed,
Until stomach pain stormed him, gruesome and grotesque,
The physician was summoned, he shook his wise head,
There was nothing he could do, but ask the prince to stay in bed,

So Prince Apan De Zidis, for that was his name,
Lost his princess, but earned medical fame,
For after him was named a type of stomach pain,
Appendicitis was what it later became!

Frog legs and fish scales
mixed in the soup
A pinch of pepper
and seasoned bark root
Four pieces of liver
Two slivers of heart
Cast into the kettle
and stewed by the hearth
Stirring
Bubbling
Burbling
Soup

Add a new flavor of dry vermouth
Toss in Grandpa's time-worn boots
Stir in a handful of wild grown moss
Perhaps some cuman and indigo dye
Will embellish the taste and make you cry
Whirling
Bubbling
Gurgling
Soup


Chicken pie in the oven and I think it smells burnt,
don't mess with mama until her work is done.
You're gonna get a lickin, you'd think you had learnt,
don't mess with mama, do you hear me, son?

Don't mess with mama until her work is done,
two baskets of laundry still waiting by the stairs,
don't mess with mama, do you hear me, son?
Go help your mama or get out of her hair.

Two baskets of laundry still waiting by the stairs,
beans need a snipping and apples need a peeling;
Go help your mama or get out of her hair,
scat, get a going before mama hits the ceiling.

Beans need a snipping and apples need a peeling,
crust needs preparing for a fresh apple pie.
Scat, get a going before mama hits the ceiling,
run, get a going boy, if you don't wanna die.

Crust needs preparing for a fresh apple pie,
you're gonna get a lickin, you'd think you had learnt;
Run, get a going boy, if you don't wanna die,
chicken pie in the oven and I think it smells burnt.

As I inhale the smoke, I start to feel good,
My eyes are closing just like they should.
I'm getting thirsty, my mouth is dry,
I'm feeling great, just like I could fly.
The rotation's set, it's coming around,
Reggae's jammin; Man I love that sound.
Past the gums, down the throat it'll go,
Look out lungs, here comes the dank flow.

Filled to capacity, I think I'm gonna choke,
Nobody warned me of such a big toke.
I'm on the ground, coughing like a fool,
I hit it so hard I'm wiping up drool.

My eyes are red; they look like tomatoes,
My stomach's hungry, I'm feigning potatoes.
Damn that was great, far from just good,
That's what it's like to get ripped in my hood.

He is at one with a computer
electronic gadgets are a blast
While I am more at ease with
familiar things from the past
Instructions for computerized gadgets
he devours like a comic book
While I stand by helplessly
with a parent's stupified look

So what if he has more neuron connections
I am the boss, what I say goes
It is my proud parental predilection
to let my ignorance show

His gentle jibes to his dumb dad
I refuse to take to heart
because I know something he doesn't
'it's more fun to be boss, then smart!


MY COMPUTER
My computer has a language
That is foreign to me
It speaks of RAM and Gigabytes
And what could ROM be!

 I don't understand the Windows
My computer says are there
Nor the Gem Clip at the side of my page
With eyes that blink and stare!

 I don't understand the cures
That maintenance wizards do
It's called defragmenter, scan disk,
And virus cleaning too!

 Yet, computer and I work hand and eye
With a mouse to translate
The tasks that I want it to do
While IT points out my mistakes!


 There's a house not to far from our own
With a windmill standing on four legs,
Its blades a spinnin', standing alone
It looks at you, for help it begs

Looks like its go'en hell bent
I'll bet a thousand miles it thinks it went
But it hasn't gone a step from its startin' place
Getting nowhere fast it's a goen

Feel kinda sorry that it keeps such a pace
Seems happy though, as long as the wind's a blowin'


Let's play cricket, said a pal of mine
Being a gentleman's game, I said "fine"
So let me explain how this whole mess started
How events took place when my pal departed.

 I was approached by a stranger, totally unknown
He had in his hand a bag and cell phone
By way of intoduction he said to me
For some information I give, he'd give me a fee.

 What sort of info do you need, I queried,
He looked around, and he got me worried,
I was just here to play my game
Not looking for glory or for fame.

 Just tell me how many runs you'll score
To which I replied "I'll try a hundred, maybe more"
No, no, he cried I've got a present for you,
A hundred thousand, to get out in "two"

 I thought he was joking, this stranger was mad,
I better get moving and put on my pad,
Just then he made a call on his phone,
Thank God he and I were alone

 For I dread to think what anyone would say
If they heard his phone conversation that day.
He said all was done, and I was party to crime
And a whole lot of rubbish and garbage and slime.

 And as he left, he dropped the last shocker
By placing his bag inside my locker
Now that I finished with you, he cried,
I'm off to fix the other side.

 The next day's headlines read in the press,
Our country's cricket's is in a royal mess,
For none of our players scored more than two
But you know how it happened, between me and you.

 Now eagerly awaiting the next big match
Where I'll be paid to drop a catch,
In the end it's the public that would be the fool
They don't know cricketers graduate from "acting" school.


Oh! It's the homely things.
The come running friendly things
The won't you let me help you things.
That make our pathway light.
And never mind the "trouble" things
"the laugh with me",
It's funny things.
That makes the world bright!
So! Here's to all little things
The "done and then forgotten" things
Those "oh-it's simply nothing" things
That make life worth the fight.
But for enigmatic humans!
Simply little things.


THE INFANT
 My son is born
I hand out cigars
 My wife says,
"He has your eyes."
And everyone agrees,
but then they openI sought my soul
But my soul I could not see.
I sought my God
But my God eluded me.
I sought my mother
And found all three.

 It's not my hand that heals man,
and guides the silken blade.
Nor bridges built to great expand,
with brick expertly laid.
Take pity on the artist brush,
it lies tortured by my stroke.
A voice that calls for greatness hushed,
though fires I have stoked.
How will I be remembered when,
the life I know is through.
The gifts contained within this pen,
are all I have for you.
Though greatness may not with me dwell,
my love for life I pray they tell.


I never promised to be perfect.
Nor asked for you to be.
I never needed much at all,
Just your respect for me.

 The things we said were different.
Our opinions weren't the same.
And it seemed to add some contrast,
Our debating was a game.

 But it seems we've lost direction,
And the cost seems rather high.
Debate has become argument.
What have we done? And why?

 You misconstrue my interest
As "I'm prying" so I'm told.
Attempts I make to bond with you
Get labeled as "control."

 I thought our love would be enough
To keep us firmly grounded.
Where exactly do we stand
Within this love we've founded?

 Have we forgotten creativity?
Each viewpoint heard in turn?
Our basis? Our foundation?
Our friendship and concern?

 What have we done? Where did we go?
What purpose? Where's the gain?
Stubborn. Cold. Unwilling.
The basis of our pain.

 
The house seems so quiet
Now the kids are all in school
The phone doesn't ring all day
The silence like a jewel.

 Everything I put away
For once stays in its place
Toys in their toybox
Puts a smile upon my face.

 There isn't any fighting
Over what cartoon to see
I can catch up on my soaps
Curled up by the TV

 I can eat my entire lunch
Answering nary a question
There is no constant chattering
To give me indigestion.

The rooms somehow seem bigger
With no one here at home
I bet I could hear my echo
In this big house all alone.

 I turned to mention something
To the kid sitting in the chair
But when I turned around to talk
There was nobody there.

 I didn't have to constantly shout
Not to slam the door
Nor did I have to labor
Wiping footprints off the floor.

 I can hear minutes ticking
The clock sounds way too loud
Counting off the hours
Til again returns the crowd.

 The silence ringing in my ears
Makes me about to lose my cool
Ok! Ok! I finally give!
I can't wait til they're home from school!

As I walk up and down
On the streets of my home town
And through aisles and corridors
Of shops and department stores,
I see people rushing around
And hear the bustle and the sound
That they make on their way
In the pursuit of the day.
And my tired and failing eyes
View each of these passer byes
As a candle that shines about
And then flickers and burns out.
And yet they seem unaware,
Or perhaps they just don't care,
About the ultimate fate
That awaits them at death's gate.
In my mind's eye I see them all
As skeletons, some short others tall,
Which move or stand around waiting,
Just piles of dust in the making.
Fools! Do they ever think of tomorrow?
Do they grasp the meaning of sorrow?
That sorrow that comes with knowing
That life's essence is only out-flowing?
From birth we begin to die,
And from the time of our first cry
We all, the coward and the brave,
Start on the journey to the grave.
In the pursuit of the daily bread
We all seem to forget the thread
That links the beginning to the end
And which has no curve or back bend.
Ah! How ironic it is to celebrate
Year in and year out the birth date
Of a child, or anyone, as if 't was our wish
To speed him towards the finish.
What's the point of propagation
Given that the final destination
Amounts to nothing more than dirt
Or ash mingled with a pair of pants, or a skirt?
Perhaps I shouldn't see things as I do
Nor hold such a cynical view on life, it's true.
Maybe I should just live from day to day
And not look that far along the way,
And just follow life's twists and bends
Without a thought of how and where it ends.
But then that would not be me
And I'd loose what little autonomy
I still have, and should I be asked to try
I'd have to say, "No can do! Not I."


Should you wish to find me
Amidst earth's chaos and woes
You'll seek for all eternity
For where I am no one knows.

 But should you look up at night
These pointers to you I'll give
For if you follow the stars' light
You'll find the place where I live.

 Follow the path to Orion
And then through to Sagittarius,
Turn right at the place of the Lion
And proceed to Aquarius.

 Rest for a while at Gemini
For there's still a long way to go
And whilst there you should try
To reflect on the things you know.

 Discard what baggage you brought
As where I am all that you'll need
Is a clear mind, freedom of thought,
And the flexibility of a reed.

 Then move on at your own pace,
There is no need now to hurry,
For you're no longer in the rat race
And there's no further call for worry.

 Take the path that leads to Aries
And then on to Capricorn;
The distance between them never varies
A 'constant' since they were born.

 And when you get to Pisces
Pick up the 'wand of enlightenment'
Which, when yours, it releases
Peace of mind and contentment.

 Go past Libra and Cancer,
Virgo and Scorpio too;
The four act as the enhancer
Of all that is really true.

 Taurus will provide the needs
Of the faint hearted and the weak
By planting in them the seeds
Of the courage and wisdom they seek.

 You are now getting near
To the place that I call home,
Where no heartache or fear
Can ever penetrate its dome.

 And if by Truth you have been led
You will then exit this Universe
And, in the brightest light ahead,
You'll find me ... in prose and verse.

See what hath the Earth become
Would you stop it if you could
Turn the clock back if it should
 If you saw two drunken sailors
Fighting in the street at night
Would you step in
Stop the fight

 Would they fight another day
Would they stand or walk away
Should they forget, should they regret
Or would they make each other pay

 To us we say each dawn a day
And surely comes the morrow
But standing close as times before
Is destruction, death and sorrow

 So should they finish fights today
Or fight again tomorrow

 There is a clock inspired of gods
And crafted in pure gold
That keeps track of all the nuances
Of things you can behold

 If you could
Would you stop the fight
Stop the fight
Stop

 Or is this nature
On its course
To start a new tomorrow

 When your muse fails to inspire
And no ink flows from your pen,
It is then, that you must dig
To find those things deep down within.

 What makes you laugh, rejoice and cry
And keeps the things in you alive?
What view of life do you see;
Tell us your view and philosophies.

 Look out your window and tell me,
What it is that you now see.
If it's beauty or it's blight,
That my friend, is what you write.

 So tell me now, is your muse still dead
And nothing there running through your head?
If there's nothing new you see;
Then my friend, just write of me.

 Write of your view of me you see
That may be just your fantasy;
Make me tall, short or thin
Or anything you see within.

 Make me fly with wings not clipped
And place in me what isn't there;
Paint me white and sugar dipped
But please, oh please, don't paint me bare.

 Within this write may be your muse
So pick now which one you choose;
Write of happy or of sad
On a napkin or scratchpad.

 Stones pitted against my window
At the reflection that I see;
Viewing from the other side,
A different view of me.

 PIT, PIT, PIT, PIT;
Marring up the glass.
Now what I see reflection there,
An injured, bloodied mass.

 Step away, no need to view;
Reflection now is shattered,
For the view, I used to see;
Now, no longer mattered.

 The person seen, I knew as me
Was changed by a misjudgment
And now the ones, who threw the stones,
Have marred what I now see.


 Such magic in a mother's kiss
And power in her hugs
That can heal the deepest pain
Or dry a flow of tears.

 Her arms can make secure,
A child filled with fright
And chase away the boogie man
That comes to him at night.

 With just one softly spoken word,
A child's eyes made bright
And with the words, I love you,
Everything made right.

 Such magic in a mother's kiss
Can't heal the grown-up pain,
When her hugs no longer sooth
Or stop the flow of rain.

 If every mom could have one wish,
I'm sure that it would be,
That the magic in her touch
Could set her children free.

 Today is not tomorrow,
So today, I still have power,
With just one kiss, one gentle hug;
Turn weeds into a flower.

 A big bull frog had jumped and found
Himself no longer on the ground.
A pail of water, cold and deep,
That from its' grasp, he couldn't leap.

 I saw him struggling to be free
And for his plight, I soon found pity;
I dumped the pail but feared to touch
This creature ugly, warts and such.

 I'm thankful for the souls who see,
My warts and yet, they pity me,
When in the water, I too, take leap
And find myself in there too deep.


Wedding Blessings come your way,
In honor of your special day.
Exchanging vows and wedding rings,
Brings so many precious things.
Dresses, suits, and wedding bells,
Presents, cake, and wishing wells;
Tear-stained cheeks and a happy grin,
Show the love that's deep within.
From the church to the hall,
You're both loved by one and all.

 From braids to bobs
From tennies to formals
Life in the twinkling of an eye
Girlhood dreams
Metamorph to fancy or
Are lost on the way side
From the past a whisper
to the future both eyes open
Now they flutter in the glare.
How light and carefree a girl
She resides within yet
She is the stuff of the past
that makes the now
She is magic beyond compare
she is me and I am her
We only forget the magic, it never disappears
Life without a magic lens is no life at all.


 Silver threads that weave among the brown,
Show the sign that summer's gone,
And the ruts left by the storms,
Seen in the furrowed frown.

 Slower now the gait that ran
When spring was here and spirit free
But it is now approaching winter:
This season sees the bent down tree.

 Memories linger of birds that left,
But seeing now, an empty nest.
Hearing still, the songs that rang,
Throughout the summer when life was best

 When silver threads have turned to white
And the final season has come too fast:
It is then envisioned, the hope of spring,
While sadly letting go, the seasons past.

 Each year passes and then another;
I seem not to see the passing of the years.
My mirror shows change but unnoticed
when viewed day by day, it seems.

 Viewing old videos forces me out of denial;
The years have flown and I now see how fast.
Just babies, they were just babies not so long ago,
But it must have been longer than just yesterday.

 Another summer and he comes again…but….
Who is this young man with a voice that's changing?
Where is the baby boy that I bounced upon my knee.
Glasses replaced by contacts, I notice the beauty of his eyes
and I think how much he now looks like his mom.

 That baby girl, too small to walk, she now is dressed in bras.
Have I grown shorter for she's now almost as tall as me.
I again move to the mirror; yes, the years have passed,
I can see it now. How had it gone unnoticed?

 Moving away now from grandma and grandpa,
What can they say to gram and pop?
Country music verses rap; old fashioned folks.
Once again, I pop in a video. Roll back, roll back,
Bring back those pass gone years, roll back.

 I will listen to their rap and learn to play Nintendo,
Remember not to talk too loud when their friends are near.
Give them a hug when no one's looking
And try not to let them see when I dye my hair.

 When they walk down the isle, I hope to be there too,
And maybe when those great grandkids come;
I won't be too old to bounce them on my knee.
Once again, there will be videos but these not meant for me;
Memories of gram and pop to remember when we're gone.

 I can't run the fastest
I can't swim the sea
I can't type the quickest
but I love being me

 I can't kick a ball
or even climb a tree
I can't roll in the grass
but I still love being me

 You see, this is my life
as others would see
they don't know what it's like
to really be me

 So next time I'm about
rolling down the street
don't think of me disabled
but someone cool to meet

 I have lots I can teach you
I have loads I can share
you will never gain my wisdom
if you just point and stare

 So maybe I can't run the fastest
maybe I can't kick a ball
but I wouldn't change being me
not for you, not at all


Life is the capacity to minimize anxiety
To rebuild the shattered dreams of society
Life is the ability to engage
In respectful and considerate argument.
Try to understand

 Life is the knowledge
That spiritual mutation
Will surely be the next step
For all of mankind.
Try to feel

 Life is the effort
To maintain ecosystems
And to attempt to understand
Other entities that co-exist with us.
Try to serve

 Life is the ability not to fear
To fully understand and accept
That existence may only be
An intense flame between eternities of blackness.
Try to accept

 Life is the willingness to question technology
Life is a poet seeking truth
Life is you
As part of me
Try to love

In this realm of steel and stone,
I sit under this speckled sky,
wandering aimlessly in my mind,
and with each dimension of dementia,
I walk a new path of trials,
ignorant of its future,
I absorb each variable as they arise,
answers come in scarce intervals,
and with each conjured conclusion,
intangible is the would-be knowledge of their correctness,
which lies solely in the unforeseen future of a different path,
at a different time of existence,
whose own trials will discern,
the validity of previous conclusions.

 The melding of two bodies,
The surging of two souls;
Love between the two of us
Keeps us from growing old.
It was on the day we married,
The day we said I do;
It was then I made you mine,
The proof that I loved you.

Now the years are passing
And we can hardly see,
Where the one of us begins
or the other person ends.
Growing old together,
What a special way to age.
Together we have grown
Like oregano and sage.

 Longing for death when God says live;
Such an easy out, this thing called death.
But you feel, what more in life to give,
When life hurts you with every breath.

 Like a prisoner of war, your life in chains;
You want an escape and death sounds best.
When only pain and regret in life remains;
The only thing you can think about is rest.

 Courage is needed to walk through life
And many travelers walk it wounded.
No one is sprinting without strife,
No matter how the story ended.

 Today I pity a man that yesterday I envied;
What difference, you say, in just one day?
Plenty, my friend, plenty; for today he was emptied,
But not of choice, of fortune he held just yesterday.

 Take my hand and I'll walk with you
As we trod these hills and valleys.
For I, like you, have troubles too;
Let's walk together down life's alleys.


Feel the 'Ah!' of things
 Notice the pure, polished pebbles
That lie scattered after the rain,
Or touch the velvet of petals
That hold dew pearls,
Listen to the song of birds in spring
Or feel the gentle warmth of the sun,
Watch the beauty of the mountains
Bathed in the glow of moonlight,
Or feel the power of the turbulent waves
And know --- hidden in the depths,
At the core of every existence
Lies the supreme, divine reality
That binds YOU and ME
And all ETERNITY.



NIGHT TIME POEMS
Here I sit, struggling to write.
I have a dull pencil and one dim light.
Writting poems until 11:16,
this whole thing is just crazy!
I stare in my dark room, to try and find
something to write about,
I can't find anything, so I sit here and pout.
My eyes begin to fall, I can't think at all.
My brain became numb, and my writing
inspiration just won't come...
Until tomorrow that is
Precious little child of mine,
suckling at my breast,
may you always remain content
and always be at rest.
I pray no ill befalls you,
in your life ahead,
but for now, my darling,
it's time to go to bed.

Dream, sweet dreams, my little
one, as you fall asleep,
may angels dance about you,
in your sleep so deep.
I'll sleep with one ear open,
to listen for your cry,
then sing you back to sleep, my
love, with a lullaby.

Nothing in the world, it seems
Shatters like a broken dream
It is the ache behind the mean
Of shadows silent and unseen

And in this fortress dream of sorrow
Exist no dawn and no tomorrow
Just hours that cut you as they pass
Like little shards of broken glass

And yet another and another
Sometimes the night is meant to suffer
But look up now and see how far
They light your way like little stars

Oh, if I had a star to shine
For every broken dream of mine
The whole night sky would turn to day
And all my troubles melt away


If I were a magic wand
I'd flutter over every nation
I'd better the course of civilization
Without any regret or hesitation.
If only ....

I'd banish any poverty
There would be an abundance of food
I'd enhance everyone's mood
To be happy when they brood.
If only....

I'd be like Mary Poppins
Descending all the quicker
On heads of state who bicker
I'd light a candle to flicker
If only .....

I'd substitute peace for war
Stir up a congenial kettle
Controversies would be settled
Untangle anything nettled
If only...

But, alas, I am not magic
Just an ordinary human being
Though not a puppet on a string
So I will try to do everything
I can do...

And maybe someone will listen
Someone with ability
To help create tranquility
Retreat from war to civility
God help us....

It was a bill of goods he bought
And I the merchant who sold the dream;
A price too high is what he paid
For merchandise never received.

Grab a rainbow, touch a star,
The world is yours for just the reach;
Anything you wish to be,
Can be yours, don't fail to dream.

Puffs of smoke in fancy paper,
Goods not worth the life of pain;
Son, anything you dare to dream,
Can be yours; the price, your soul.

One-I am sitting on a stone,
searching life on muddy ways,
we are often making mistakes,
so, beginn to build alone...

Two-near to the grave,
ugly forms are appearing,
thou must transform for save,
and to live without killing...

Three-I am waiting for wisdom,
queen of early stars protect,
preserve the hidden kingdom,
may the creation become perfect...

Four-the cross I am guarding,
between light and darkness,

Five-give all the answers,
that s the power of the King,

Six is holy princess,
she heal the seek, cover the sin,

Seven-ancestral river of blessings,
lifting to a superior level...
soul can hear the true voice of the things,
the place where the master become Servant,

That's Eight, the Justice,
Virgin and pure,Truth and Illumination,
the essence of all Revelation...

Help-Heal-Hide...
love to find...
Saturn dies, Helios ressurect...

 Sitting where the green moss grows
And shadows fall upon the grottoes;
I sit and gaze and the while I dream
Of things imagined but seldom seen.

 Upon the rays of golden suns,
I catch a glimpse of heavenly visions;
All the things His hands have made
Before the light within me fades.

 Where dampness tends to grow the moss.
Is there I sit in dreams to cross
Bridges that in life too wide,
I find my way to the other side.

 Upon the wings of birds of flight
And tails of comets to alight.
I soar the oceans and the mountains
And quench my thirst from nature's fountains.

 Let me sit where the green moss grows
And dream away my cares and woes.
Wake me when the visions fade;
When back to reality, my senses bade.


A spectrum of vision, like ghosts, they're now faintest;
Only dry bones where vitality once flourished.
Written on blank pages that time has now vanished;
A dream book in color that age turned into dust.

Like a painting whose subject had quickly faded;
It was gone before the nighttime sky missed the sun.
I search my mind for dreams in hope it's not barren;
To one day relive them or find them still planted.

Kaleidoscopic colors float but pass by me;
I can view them, but like a rainbow, out of reach.
It now is smoke and fading colors that I see
And yet the need for one to dream, forever preach.

On the wings of dreams I sail with nighttime vision
And only in the light of day are they broken.

Dreams on which to ponder
Have no meaning till you wonder
Characters and scenes, some unknown
Awaken the mind as it is shown

Soft and gentle, pleasant, not true
Do not wake up, because you knew
Dreams that play in your mind
Are only for your tender kind

 Mr. Moon up in the sky
How you float so regal and high
I like to watch your many faces and imagine your thoughts
As you look down upon us with such beauty and haught

 I see the man you do possess
He is a part of your regal dress
But yet I can see laughter and mystery in your face
For who else would allow a cow to jump over his space

 And when the autumn leaves turn to gold
And the wind begins to bring the cold
I marvel at your harvest face
And the brilliance of your lusty grace

 Your complete fullness pleasures my sight
And oh, how I chuckle with delight
For even when a cloud may shadow a part of you
It doesn't prevent your aura to shine through

 I see the mischievousness in your face
And how you quench the day in your haste
You frolic with the clouds each night
And as the sun starts to rise, you take flight

 In you God created a masterpiece
A timeless work that will never cease
And the old forever young they will be
When they imagine you through my eyes and see

 
Dream walker beguiled by night,
As through the mist she glides,
Like gossamer sails billowing
Before the rising tide,
In darkened sky shimmering stars,
Are pin holes in a veil,
Shutting out the night time sun
Whose light cannot reveal,
The beauty of one who walks
A pathway left unreal.

 

Faerie Queens who dance at night,
Have but a moment before the light
Reveals their magic ways,
Leaving silent misty days.

E'n so they dance each eve,
For those who will believe
In sprites who fly on gossamer wings,
Playing harps of gold with silver strings.

Faerie Queens are but true,
And quite different from me and you,
As they dance from night 'til dawn,
To music made of elfins' song.


 If I could stay within my dreams
and not be forced to live in reality,
I could climb the mountains high,
touch a star and reach the sky.

 I could fly with wings unclipped,
dream in color to my heart's content,
never having to touch the ground,
claim each pearl as mine when found.

 Reality mixed with sunshine and rain
and sanity crossing over into insanity.
Some dreams fulfilled but others still,
remain in life, a bitter pill.

 In my mind, I live my dreams,
travel far and reach for stars.
Reality always pulls me back down,
placing my feet back on the ground.

If I blew enough bubbles...
each pregnant with a dream of mine...
would you deliver my dreams?
Or would my dreams shatter
aborted
drying pitifully on the sidewalk?
 If I wished on enough stars...
each burdened by dreams wide and far...
would you sense my dreams from above?
Or would my dreams suffocate
withered
decaying slowly on the star?

 If I wrote enough messages...
each penned dream left in possibility..
would you decipher my dream between its lines?
Or would my dreams be twisted
abused
by those who find it instead?

 If I...
if I one day find my way...
of letting you know...
What will you do?

 I live in a lonely cabin
with no one else around
I live near lonely trees
in a lonely ground
My life would be much better
if I had some friends
But all I have for company
is the river and its bends

 I live in a lonely cabin
I know the land by stride
I live near lonely trees
and I care for them with pride
My life keeps getting better
as I learn to get along
All the animals are playful
and the wind is full of song

 I live in a lonely cabin
it's not that bad I guess
There're no troubles on my shoulders
and I'm lightened of my stress
But just one day to talk to someone
would be really great
But as for now I'll make the best
yet still I'll hope and wait


When I slip away to the garden
Imagination begins to bloom,
Caressed by the gentle breeze
The essence of a sweet perfume.

 O, that I could stay here forever
Visions and dream of creative art,
Dancing with you in garden's midst
Passion ignites within our hearts.

 Like the dew upon an Irish rose
Your essence clings to me,
Beauty of dormant deep rises
And I'm dancing in eternity!

 O, that I could stay here forever
for I never tire of loving you at all,
Raptured within your breath of heaven,
A rose, buds and blooms upon your call.


 To try and fail
and then prevail
A loss, a win
keep on that grin
To run and fall
laughed at by all
To show your face
as the loser of a race
To stand up tall
and hear your call
Someone, somewhere
wants you to be there
To share with them
a life of grim
But you refuse
there's nothing to lose
Get on with life
and work, and strife
For what you know
will help you grow
Into a better person


ASLEEP AND AWAKE
I dream when I sleep
And my guardian angel keeps
Guard above my bed
 I daydream when I am awake
Of calm blue waters
And gentle summer breezes
And green mountainous hills
And tall dark muscular nubian men
And puffy white heavenly clouds
I think to myself that life is great
And say "Amen" outloud

Everyday we walk to our spots
Bait our hooks
Cast our lines

 Sometimes no nibble to give us hope
Don't be frustrated
Don't be discouraged, just cope
Don't feel like you're at the end of a rope

 Don't give up fishing for dreams
Persevere in life's ocean, sea, or streams

 There's the catch of a lifetime
Out there waiting for us primed
Losing faith is a crime
Reel in your dreams anytime

He walks out onto the field, head to foot in a full body shield,
the crowd stands up and starts to cheer,
then they sit down and drink their beers.
The football player thinks to himself, then runs to his team,
that's when he wakes up from his wonderful dream.


Listen, 'less you can hear the pain
Over in the corner of your mind
The Joker sees your suffering
But 'alas he does not pity
Simple views towards love
Makes him tumble with mirth
Avert your eyes and cover your ears
Hide your heart from this jester
"Cause he's always looking...
Sending decoys if he sees
A vulnerable soul


I had a dream that everything would be perfect one day.
I had a dream that there would be no more death.
I had a dream that there would be no more crying and suffering.
I had a dream that there would be no more sorrow and pain.
I had a dream that there would be no more violence and war.
I had a dream that there would be no more hatred.
I had a dream that everyone would be treated all the same.
I had a dream that there would be no more darkness.
I had a dream that there would be no more dying.
I had a dream that there would be no more heartache.
I had a dream that there would be no more departure.
Yes, I had a dream, and my dream came true...because I am in heaven.


MY FEATHER PEN
 My feather pen too light to stay
do not insist on flying away.
We together might each stray
and thoughts on paper fade away.
Each year I live more time slips away,
more work I give more hope gives away.
If we float sentimental together
not even reason can take us away
from a sensible breeze we're use to weather.
Not before reason drips away.
I hate to breathe against a feather.
I also hate to be pushed away.
If only we were kept together
the rest would come right away.
The inspriation and dedictaion would eat
stagnation fast away. If I could hold on
to my feather pen, if it would be strong
enthusiastic, and still. I'd write until
my mind was bare and my heart finally content.
Then someday you might be called great,
my flying feather pen.
REMEMBER

Will you remember when
I picked you up
The times you fell and skinned
and cut your knees

Will you remember that I
was the one
That wiped your little nose
when it just wouldn't stop
  

 Will you remember when I was there to hold you
When that bad dream woke you up
Will you remember that I was there when
He did not call you to go out
Will you remember that I was there
When he picked you up for that first dance
Will you remember that I wiped away
Those tears through each and every fight

Will you remember the time that I told you
You will remember this always
as the best day of your life

Now remember this, my little girl,
As I will not remember
Time will rob me of my memories
Remember always that I love you

His hands smelled like Cheerios
When he would tuck me in at night
I later discovered that smell to be
Not my favorite cereal
But his brand of cigarette

 He would stand over me singing
Songs I was sure he had made up
I later discovered the songs to be
Not from my father's heart
But the records that he played

 He told me stories of adventure
He and I were the stars of his tales
I later discovered the stories to be
Not from my father's mind
But the books that he read

 He told me I was his life, his love
Words I doubted in troubled times
I later discovered these words to be
Not from mine or my father's imagination
But the truest thing I've ever known

"Poppa John"
We have walked many mountains together
Thru snow storms and nasty weather
We have seen a bear and a buck or two
Rushed back to camp for a cup of brew.

We joked and we laughed, shared many a hunt
Walked many a valley, pulled many a stunt
We cussed at our losses and we had a few
But at the end of the day we had meat for that stew.

We hunted for trophies every year
Laughed and reminisced till our eyes filled with tears
Found each other when we were lost
Kept each other safe at any cost

The hunt will be different, one less rifle to fire
I'll listen for your laughter I'll walk till I tire
I will miss you my friend, as all hunters will
You will be in our hearts though your rifle is still.


 She flew the winds on angel wings
But left her songs on golden strings
In melodies both far and near
That many souls will stop to hear

She walked away but left her worth
On footsteps tread upon the earth
So that those who cross her path
Hear echoes of a child's laugh

She skipped along a river's edge
And hid behind a garden hedge
I saw her mark upon a tree
And underneath a bandaged knee

She played in grasses of the field
Where happiness would be the yield
She left behind a teacup's fill
Of daisies on a window sill

She went to bed with peace of mind
With good-night kisses pure and kind
Before the hour of morning dew
She left behind a prayer or two

She left the strength of mighty oak
Some childhood thoughts she never spoke
A million kisses to be kissed
A sunny day that will be missed

For what was lost, so much was gained
More joy she brought than grief or pain
She left within each trembling heart
A love that never will depart

The greatest gift she gave the world
Was when her little hands unfurled
Her fingertips on life were such
They left their mark on all she touched

 When I was little,
you held me in your arms,
and always kept me safe,
from every day's passing harm.
 When I look up into your deep blue eyes,
and feel your sweet embrace,
I look up to the sky above,
and thank the Lord, for the angel
he sent down to earth,
is now, and will forever be
my wonderful and caring dad.
Now that I am older,
my life is changing more every day,
but I still love you,
for you are my hero,
and that will never change.

I feel your presence in each room
As if these walls could to me speak.
Your memory lingers within these walls
That seem to not want me to leave.
Your picture sits upon the mantle
And on your pillow at night I sleep.
I seem to feel you everywhere
And wonder if these walls have eyes.
I feel a prisoner entrapped within
For from these walls I find no out.
So each passing day, in here remain,
Within these walls that hold your memory.

I met you in a garden where
nothing but weeds seemed to grow
I was so astounded to find a lady
that I've been blessed to know
You were a ray of sunshine
that brightened up my life
One look into your beautiful soul
and I asked you to be my wife

The weeds in the garden started
to disappear and quickly fade away
Your love caused flowers to sprout
and grow that very day
Oh, what a beautiful garden
it has turned out to be
Darlin, I wish you could see the flowers...
They've turned out so beautifully

By the flowers I mean the love
that you so willingly shared with me
That love reaches into the core of my being
and will forever last eternally
Everyday I thank God for the lady that
I was privileged to have held her heart
With your sweet love darlin',
I was blessed right from the start

Although I know now that you
have gone to a much better place
The flowers of your love in our garden
will be a reminder of your beautiful face
In this beautiful garden I found love
so fine, so pure, and so rare
A love equaled to none other...
I was so blessed and privileged to share

Where will be home when mama's gone;
When my childhood home is no longer mine?
What will they do with my memories;
When mama's dead and gone?

Will they quietly allow them to live
Within the walls that whisper;
A child's life was painted here;
Where all of her memories live.

Where will be home when mama's gone;
When my childhood home is no longer mine?
Where will I go, when home I want to run;
When mama's dead and gone?

I've moved around from state to state,
But only one do I call home;
Where will it be when my home is gone?
When going home will be too late?

Where will be home when mama's gone;
When my childhood home is no longer mine?
Should it be, I make it mine;
Would it be home with mama gone?

Captured memories
stare back at me
from the pictures in this book
happy smiles
set against blue skies
vacations taken when we were young
the dreams of childhood
forgotten for awhile
then remembered with a rueful smile
I wanted to be an astronaut
a dancer
a fireman
an actress of the first order
my name in lights
my feet on the stage
fame
fortune
easy life
but, those were just childish dreams
never worked for
never realized
but tucked away
here in my book of
memories
photos
and dreams


Here I am again
Lying in my bed,
With oh, so many thoughts
Of you dancing around in my head.
The smell of your aftershave
The softness of your touch,
The words of love you whisper
All these thoughts seem to come in a rush.

The clock keeps on ticking
Time is drifting by.
I see the sun is rising
Out of the corners of my eyes.

Yet sleep has eluded me
Once again I did not sleep,
The love we shared was wonderful
These magical memories linger on,

Treasured days we shared together
Lasting long after you have gone.
Precious moments
Trapped in the corners of my mind,
My sweet precious love
These gifts you left behind.


Walking among the stalks of corn
Towering overhead,
clutching grandma's apron
As through the rows, she led.

The smell of camphor salve
And fresh homemade bread,
Logs burning in the fire;
Memories in my head.

Plastic fruit in pretty bowls
And fancy braided rugs.
Smell of manure and chickens
And catching lightning bugs.

Writing on walls covered with coal
And freezing in bed when the fire went out.
Santa leaving giant colored books
And remembering times we went without.

Plain house dresses and fancy fur coats,
Business suits and bib overalls,
Winters so cold and snow waist deep,
Icicles and flying snowballs.

Memories of then, of so long ago,
Mixed and scrambled inside of my head.
I look in the mirror and search for that child;
I know she's there somewhere, I know she's not dead.

For often when I'm losing touch,
She brings me back to my beginnings;
Bringing back my memories of then
And sharing with me, all of my feelings.

Our mother died,
Lost now to the wind;
In just eight months,
She pulled our father in.

 She found her peace,
And broke again his heart;
Now they lie cold,
Just steel and earth apart.

 Life passes strange,
Just so, they say, it goes;
And stranger still,
To wear this sad white rose.

 Look deep and close
Inside the blossom fair,
And you will find
The marks of passion there;

 Like drops of blood,
The last to leave the bloom,
Whose beauty fades,
And passes far too soon.

 This day we smile,
The fragrance to recall,
Smiling as tears,
Like white rose petals fall.


The clock ticks ever so slowly.
I sit very still.
I've stared at almost everything,
detention isn't a thrill.

In a closed off room,
my feet go numb.
I start to fall asleep,
I wish the time would zoom.

And I stopped to think,
If only I would have paid attention,
I wouldn't be sitting here
in detention!


It withdraws and falls
each petal bleeds with blood
the night's cold
the winter, it chills the wood

Unholy drops fill its veins with sadness
Oh how? Winter frost it stings.
There will never be another rose that shines
and used to grow like that one. What devastation it brings.

Brown toxic waste fills its veins with sadness
turns the sunlight into blackness.
Once it was a beautiful white rose
with its healthy leaves in place.
Now just a rotting female.

The rose, it turns to black
and fails to open wide.
Why did my beautiful favourite flower have to die,
barely from a seed.

I named this rose after her, as she died when
her favourite flower in our garden died.

She came to me on a green line bus,
It stopped outside my door
She looked so good, I fell about in rapture on the floor,
"Hi there Rosie", I called out
glad that she could make it,
"Come inside and sit ye down, I think were gonna make it"

 For weeks and weeks she came around
I thought I had it made,
that green line bus became my pal
a saviour and a friend,
But one day when the bus pulled up and Rose did not allight,
it made me feel my world had crashed,
it was an awful sight.

 A while ago I found out, much to my dismay
the driver of that green line bus had much too much to say,
He had stolen my Rosie's heart and claimed her as his own,
Now that little green line bus don't stop here any more.

I've tucked you away in a corner of my heart
where no wind or rain could reach you.
So deep inside my emotions of you are hidden
Sometimes it's as if you never existed.
Then suddenly for no reason explained you show yourself
like the sun peering through on a cloudy day.
And I am again reminded that my love for you does not fade
but grows stronger with each pounding of my heart. "I love you"

A thought of you, in the silence, with me,
My living, my loving Aphrodite,
Once we were together, a moment's time,
A moment now captured in common rhyme;

I have not the genius to conjure you,
The soul of you, all of you, born anew
In letters that linger and notes that sing---
A memory's vision is all I bring.

I wander the passages of the past,
The caverns of conciousness, running fast,
To try and remember the day we met,
An hour on which my mind has been set.

I cannot recall it, and that is pain
That pierces the images that remain
Of you in the splendor of summer dawn---
In waking from slumber, you stretch and yawn.

That movement of limbs, the flexing of thighs
The finding of slippers and rubbing of eyes,
As naked as me, you stood without clothes---
To this did I rise, my lover in pose.

That one night alone, fulfilling my dream
Of passionate bliss, that daily I scheme
To bring back to life, in my life at least,
The poetry that you helped me release.

I lie awake at night in my bed,
Thinking of all the words you said.
You said that you'd always be there for me,
You said that me and you would always be.
I don't understand why you did what you did,
You don't know how much I hurt,
I keep those feelings hid.
But what was said is said and what was done is done,
But I still wish that I was your only one.

A famous movie star yelled at me though he did it over the phone.
I worked at an answering service in Provo graveyard and weekends alone.
A struggling new mother helping with bills, I always felt so tired;
A note said not to call in before 3, and basically here's what transpired.

I waited, believing that when I called that in the aftermath,
all would be well for I'd done my job, but I still got this actor's wrath!
He screamed that his meeting was still going on, and why then was I calling?
But I had not done anything wrong, so his shouting at me was galling.

For weeks I had worked and phoned things in to this big shot's secretary,
hoping one day "his" voice I'd hear so charming, not so contrary!
To this very day I think he's terrific in looks and in his acting,
but focusing now on the good in him I find to be distracting.

All for that one time he yelled at me, a someone he didn't know.
I was just a stranger to him, so he let his anger flow.
My voice, of course, I'd not raise to strangers. That is not my style.
Still, when I am feeling bad, do I forget to smile?

To people in this world I've met have I ever rudeness shown?
When strangers couldn't help me out, did I maybe start to groan?
And worse, do I barely give a glance to people serving me?
Do I sometimes go briskly on with my life, forgetting humanity?

Another time I remember when in a department store
another man, once famous, made my aging spirit soar.
I can't recall this singer's name. We know him for a song.
He sang, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." (His fame did not last long.)

Promoting new Christmas music there with the other guys,
he looked at me, a stranger, and said, "You sure have beautiful eyes."


Poised to leap,
Into the world I once perceived.
Black I breathe,
A dream once inhabited.
This can only get better;
Only better.
Some day I will wake from this
Some day I will wake from this,
And see the beggar I once knew.
All I do is gather space,
Gather time.
I want him to come soon,
We'll wonder again,
Appreciate,
Hate.
Just a breath
Scatters the taut dampness,
of my mind.
I know his small variations
I bend through them.
All over my reflection
This was my texture
Was my torture
My memory.